Who vs. Whom

So I picked my daughter up the other day from daycare. My daughter told me "her hit me!" Pointing vigorously at the young

lady the teacher announced "Actually darling it's she hit me." For some reason I agree with my daughter! Am I wrong in proper English grammar?

is it correct to say 'your support will help me end the year on a high note?'

Times are changing. Proper English has not always been proper and will continue to change over time. This is evident with the rise of texting.

Thank you for your explanation and examples!

For some reason I can't get my brain to retain any of the actual grammatical terms and definitions that help explain which 'version' of a word to use. Even still I am oddly obsessive about using words correctly. I won't even use the word if I think I could be wrong.

Your tip for proper use of these two words is perfect for me! I believe it's actually the first I've read that I fully understood. I love words and so I greatly appreciate this information! I can't wait to confidently use 'whom' in conversation now since I've always avoided it or unfortunately spoken incorrectly.

Your sentence sounds like a poor translation from German. You can't simply have "the" all on its own. Here are some alternatives.

The person from whom I sought help has let me down.

The person whose help I was seeking has let me down.

The person who I was hoping would help me has let me down.

Please check if this sentence is grammatically correct.

Checking to see if whom is used correctly.

The from whom I looked for help has failed me.

My little girl said "I made him" talking about a girl.She is 3 years when will she use the correct terminology-her?

What about when to use "who" or "and who"?

In the interesting example "The person who I thought was the senator turned out to be a television newscaster." "who" is actually the subject of "was the senator". The verb "think" is a verb of interpolation. You can prove this with the sentence "The person whom I held to be the senator turned out to be a television newscaster."

help me i don't get it at all!

Oh, so sad that it's (it has) been published here for almost 2 years without correction.

'Jerry' noted: "My gosh! "It's" means it is or its was! "Its" is the possessive case."

Jerry! Please note that the apostrophe version is a contraction of 'it is' or 'it has', not 'it was'.

Or, as I like to tell people:

It's "it's" when it isn't "its". :-)

(Quantum Physics meets English Grammar :-)

Cheers!

Hi

I like grammar

Hi Ralph. you are so wrong about your comment regarding Spanish "No hay que ensenar orthographia en las escuelas..." Let me tell you that I studied Spanish grammar since grade 3 until grade 11 (9 years), and believe me that many people never learned it. Spanish is not different than in English in terms of grammar and it is not as easy as many people think. I would say that for Spanish speakers English pronunciation is more difficult than English grammar, and for English speakers learning Spanish is the opposite: easier to pronounce, more difficult in terms of grammar.

Isn't "Who am I?" kind of like a predicate nominative rather than an accusative? And if StuartJ still thinks "her hit he" is ever going to find its way into everyday conversation through usage, after 4 years of reflection on the matter, I'm going to get on his case.

Tell Ralph that "ph" changes to "f" for Spanish spelling and that the names of languages are not capitalized.

We are finally catching up to the European languages in our use of "there's" for both singular and plural, at least in spoken language. In French, German and Spanish there's only one word or expression. "There are" must be too long or cumbersome and therefore "there's" is more efficient.

As for the 'who vs whom' rule, it seems very stilted if we use whom to replace a direct object, as in "Whom do you love?" However, it just sounds intelligent to say, "To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?" instead of, "Whom am I speaking to?" Besides, a preposition is something we should never end a sentence with. As for Bo Diddly, he didn't know or care diddly about grammar, but whom cares?

as was asked before, is this question correct: "who did you vote for?"

Michelle, it seems extreme, a bit too "descriptivist" for my tastes, to say that "English is really whatever is commonly used." Over the long run, yes. But in practical terms, teachers, editors, etc. must serve work as a conservative, "prescriptivist" force in language.

Please, no "s" on the word anyway.

Since when is it "anyway"? It's never anywhos, anyhows??

To correct anub (sorry) -

If you are going by the he/him rule, it would be 'Whom am I?', as 'whom' is replacing 'me' (both in accusative case - object).

HOWEVER, Lydia, you have brought up a good point - 'Whom am I?' sounds odd. And it is odd. It is therefore ungrammatical. Along with the fact that so many native English speakers have to ask how to use it, this shows that it is not a natural, instinctive part of the grammar. In fact it is governed by something called a 'Grammatical Virus' - something extra to the grammar that we are told to say, but for which the rules don't always work. There is a good article on this called "The who/whom puzzle" for any linguists.

Also, it is interesting that there were no replies by the author to the very relevant points that English is really whatever is commonly used. Furthermore, in most situations 'who' can be used equally well as 'whom', so you really don't need to bother with it.

I do personally find it annoying though when I see 'whom' used in the wrong context, so fair enough.

@Lydia, I think...:

I am myself. 'myself', in this case, is the object. Pretend the object is me instead. I am me. Who am I? I am me. I is a pronoun, like him and her. To answer 'Whom am I?', you would say 'I am I'. In this case, I'm using the second I as an object (incorrect) because that is our strategy in choosing between who & whom (using the pronouns him/her). Anyway, 'I am I' wouldn't work, so 'Who am I?' is the correct way to ask whom you are. ;D

"Who is the newscaster?"

He is the newscaster.

"Whom is the newscaster?"

The newscaster is him.

I know the latter is wrong, but I always confuse them anyway, because I make the question/answer backwards... Could you help? x3

What about a question like, "who am I?" That confuses me. Could it be, "whom am I?" I don't think so but, I'm not too sure.

From a fellow kiwi. I have just happened upon this site & immediately picked up on Jerry's post of 5 months ago (3 posts back), & had to agree with him. But I reckon you knew that already. I know that often in haste, mistakes slip in, don't they? I do it all the time, and I'm sure I have made heaps of grammatical & other errors in this post alone and will see them after I have clicked 'post comment'. I'm not an English teacher so don't really care, but still like to know basics so that I can help my children & grandchildren. See ya.

How would you use the substitution in this case: Could you forward me the contact information of the attorney, whom you mentioned, might be able to offer pro bono legal services?

Tiffany, the commas around 'whom you mentioned' are needless - and 'whom can be left out entirely:

Could you forward me the contact information of the attorney you mentioned might be able to offer pro bono legal services?

Good Article Robin. Hits the point directly.

How would you use the substitution in this case: Could you forward me the contact information of the attorney, whom you mentioned, might be able to offer pro bono legal services?

The top post says:

That trick seems a bit simplified to me. What about an example like this one: "Assign that task to Whomever/Whoever is available." Here the correct answer is "whoever" because it's not the pronoun's role in the sentence as a whole that matters, but it's role in it's own clause. So "whoever" here is the subject of "is".

My gosh! "It's" means it is or its was! "Its" is the possessive case.

Hi Robin. I just wandered back here to brush up on my who or whom usage. I need a reminder now and then. Can't help commenting on Kathy's question. To clarify the "sentence" you offer, Kathy, it is what is called in English "illiterate."

Oh dear that didn't come out right.

Repeat:

Help!!!

I'm looking for clarification in the following sentence.

"She sees the parent and their children for who she knows them to be, not by who they are being."

A big thanks for the who/whom trick. I have referenced numerous grammar texts on this subject, but found that the level of detail in such reference manuals was impeding my ability to comprehend the actual rules regarding the usage of who vs whom.

Thanks to this hub, I can now properly use who/whom in my entrance essay that is a required portion of my application to graduate school. Who would've thunked it? ( or is it whom would have thunked it???) Well, back to the hub for further study....

So comparing to whom's example, is it wrong to say "Who did you vote for?" It still sounds good, doesn't it?

EAE MANO LOPA LIMPEZA?

THE AMO LINDOOOOOOOO

MANO ESSA PARADA É MUITO IMBAÇADA, MAS COM ESTUDO DÁ PRA LEVAR COM CERTEZA MANO, É NOIS NA FITA VÉI ;D

I have a doubt, is it correct the following frase? I do not know with whom I should speak

Thank you for your help

One of the most frequent mistakes. I still have trouble with it after looking it up many times!

Thanks for the cute who/whom trick. I always have trouble with these tricky English constructions even after I look them up in a reference book -- or now on the computer. I don't know about you, but speaking grammatically correct English often sounds stilted when I'm speaking to my friends and "associates" (an example of stilted language.) In my opinion, changes in language must be made over a relatively long period of time if we expect to communicate effectively.

I rarely see the word "enable" used these days. "Allow" is overwhelmingly used instead, even in the news media. Has constant misuse changed the gammar rules for allow and enable?

Thanks.

So is Bo Diddley right when he asks "Who Do You Love?"

Or should he have said "Whom do you love?"

For whom did you vote.i often use only whom rather than who.Is it wrong. i will come again to check the reply.One more thing, see this sentence ..From where you bought this book.Where did you buy this book.what's the difference. thanks

Robin,

What about when the subject is plural rather than singular? Example: They supported the fundraiser. So would the correct conversion to who/whom be, "who supported the fundraiser?" How dies that work? Any tips would be helpful. Thanks for your site.

CMH

can i use " Who did you vote for?" ?

In response to the reality that the proper use of grammar is declining to the point of blurring the distinctions, I can't help but quote Churchill:

"That is something up with which I will not put!"

Lori,

It's the second one. "He had been previously uncommunicative." You are replacing the who with he, not client liasons with him.

Maby I am making this more difficult than it really is but it the following sentence:

I Advanced communications with client liaisons who had previously been uncommunicative.

Would the question be:

"I advanced communications with him?" -OR-

"He had been previously uncommunicative?"

in order to figure out if who or whom should be used? It is critical that I get this correct, as I am using this sentence in my resume!

I think, 'Whom does that refer to?' or 'To whom does that refer?' are both right. But you have to say 'whom' not 'who.'

Would it be incorrect to say, "Who is that referring to?" or do you need always have to say, "To whom is that referring?"?

Actually, StuartJ, "Her hit he" means that the boy hit the girl. Since we have these cases, it means we are free to change word order around in poetry and what have you. Of course, such flipping of the usual syntax is rare, but, even in modern English, "Her hit he" and "He hit her" do mean the same thing, not different things. And of course, even in modern English, "Her hit he" and "She hit him" do really mean different things. In the latter, as we would agree, the girl is doing the hitting, and in the former, it is the boy, not the girl, who is laying the smack down.

If we eliminated cases we wouldn't necessarily have problems with ambiguity, but we would lose some of the freedom we have with where we want to place words in a sentence.

Read "The Mother Tongue" by Bill Bryson. It's a really great history lesson on the English language, and, as one comment already pointed out, it correctly addresses the fact that the English language continues to evolve. Many arbitrary grammatical rules are just that - arbirtrary.

I think "whom to call list" is grammatically accurate but when one googles, one finds just as many, if not more, instances where people use 'who to call list' . Does this mean the latter is now the norm and therefore acceptable usage?

Oh thank you so much for this clarification piece. The who/whom thing has been killing my lately, and I'm glad to see that there is such an easy trick to remembering which one to use. This is yet another step in perfecting my grammar! :)

I learnt the usage of who/whom not only from the hub, but also from the comments. Good show, friends!

What a coincidence! I just posted a Hub on WHOM before I chanced to read your Hubs. Before I read all your Hubs at leisure, I thought I would acknowledge your Hub and say Hello. I am just a few weeks in here, and only today beginning to get a few Hubs done. I appreciate your effort, for it is a service to many. Keep it up! I am a professional writer specialising in Corporate Communication. I have just begun to put together ome short stories and little poems.

Hello robin: You aaked: >>I learned many of the English rules from studying Spanish. I wonder if those who speak more than one language are more aware of grammar in their native tongue. What do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Quit wondering. You are definitely right. When I started learning Spanish and then teaching English I found that learning Spanish not only makes one more aware of how we use English but also why we use it the way we do. And Grammar is nothing more than an explanation of how the majority of us use English or Spanish or French. Grammar is not a set of rules, it is a compendium of what the majority of us are speaking

jerezano.

Good contribution.

In response to some of the comments, let me say that I believe that language is a means to an end. If enough people use a word incorrectly, it is no longer incorrect to use that word as such. If someone knows an obscure rule, and seeks to employ that rule only for the sake of propagation of the rule, while a majority does not use that rule, it is that person who is wrong, imho.

Thanks,

Matt

Hi

Great hub. I like hubs that are giving away knowledge to other hubbers. It is sad that people nowadays don't care about their grammar. You should create more hubs like this.

hi, I think this is a nice way to learn English. But you should add an example like this one:

"The man who/whom you met was my brother" In this sentence, if you want a formal sentence you shod say whom. However, they are both correct.

Which is used with they or them, like in this part of a sentence whoever/whomever they may be? This is great. I too have a hubpage about misused words. Was just about to add this (who, whom) to my hubpage when I saw yours. Great way to teach the kids, just keep it simple so they can understand..

Yes it's simplified but your little 'he,him' trick is just what my 11 year old will understand - thanks

I'm a teacher in Japan, and your site has been helpful for when I need a quick reference, so thanks!

I've studied French, Italian, Japanese, Tibetan, and a little Nepali and Hindi. I definitely became more aware of English grammar rules after I studied more languages, but I also had an awesome English teacher my freshman year of high school, so I really owe it to both. My friends that have studied other languages also tend to have pretty good grammar, but they don't always choose to use it. You mentioned that a lot of people that are highly educated use incorrect grammar, but I think that that is more a reflection of how adaptable the English language is. I have about 4 or 5 different ways that I use English, depending on the situation. If I'm talking with friends or sending a text, I don't use "proper" English grammar, but I do recognize that my grammar is incorrect. I just don't care, and I know that my listener will understand me even if I'm lazy. My favorite thing about the English language is that there are so many variations of it. There really isn't a "proper" English language anymore. Unfortunately, countries were colonized and forced to use English, but every single country adapted it to their culture in a different way. There's different slang, there are slight variations in what is "acceptable" grammar, there are different pronunciations and spelling. But it's still undeniably English. I'm sure it's frustrating for new learners of English to have so many rules regularly broken, but, on the other hand, it means that the language is more flexible, too.

Hi. Is this sentence correct?. Omar will talk about his girlfriend with whomever asks him.

With is a preposition. So whomever is ok.

Are you agree?. Thanks.

Wonderful site.!!. I am learning english grammar. I fell so good that to know ypur web. Excellent.

How do you determine who/whom in the following sentence: The person who/whom I thought was the senator turned out to be a television newscaster? I originally thought it was whom, but now I am leaning toward who. How would you substitute he/him in this sentence?

Thanks for your post! It's good to be broad-minded.

Thanks for this useful info. =)

Hi Robin,

This is a great site. Your descriptions of shen to use who/whom was pointed out in our On-line English class by another student who went searching for directions. Good for her and you too!

Patricia

Thanks Robin for the useful information. I'm awful when it comes to helping my 10 year old with his Language Arts homework. I will bookmark your page for future reference. Thanks!

hi robin,

Your explanations are excellent.I'm inspired.My question is "How and Where to use 'Might' and 'Maybe' in a sentence?

I appreciate your site, Robin. As for the "Assign that task to Whomever/Whoever is available" topic, before I read the answer, I applied the he/him theory, and it worked for that, too.

Who is available? He is.

Hi Robin,

It's natural to feel that "someone" is in charge of English. It is the case for some languages, but no one controls English. English is simply the language that English speaking people use. The key word is "use". If useage changes, well then English has changed -- grammar teachers not withstanding. :-) BTW, my best grammar teacher was a Sergeant who taught a course for the US Army. Seriously.

Hi Robin,

I do take your point about simplicity. If you go into too much detail about the more complicated aspects of everything you will lose your audience. I do like your hubs and I'm sure they will be useful to many people. They are very clear and readable too.

Hi Ralph,

Your comment about the usage of pronouns declining to the point of "blurring the distinctions" is interesting. I believe this is true but that it is also inevitable because it is part of a major change that has taken place in the English language. Take the explanation, say, that "whom" is the objective case of "who". To someone whose native language is German, this makes a lot of sense, but to most English speakers it seems to be a purely academic distinction.

The fact is that English is no longer a case based language -- English, although it once used cases, now uses word order and prepositions to distinquish between the subject and the object, or the doer and the doee. And since nouns are no longer inflected or altered to indicate case, the different cases of pronouns are really no longer necessary. For example, if we say "Jane hit John", it is the word order, not the case of the nouns, that tells us who is the subject and who is the object. Similarly, since "She hit him", and "Her hit he", (despite the latter being bad grammar) mean the same thing, do we need the different cases of pronouns at all? I think not, and that eventually they will disappear.

Es posible. Pero creo que todos los lenguajes cambian.

Espanol es mas regular y sencillo que Ingles. No hay que ensenar orthographia en las escuelas..

It seems to me that correct usage of pronouns is declining almost to the point of blurring the distinctions.