Historical Figures Who Died During Sexual Intercourse
Michael Hutchence of INXS, British MP Stephen Mulligan and Goldie Hawn's husband in "Private Benjamin". What do they all have in common? They all died during sex in one way or other. Dying at this most inappropriate moment is more common than you would imagine. Here are some historical figures who went out with a bang.
Franklin D Roosevelt
Roosevelt has had the fortune to go down in history alongside Washington and Lincoln as one of the greatest leaders the US has ever had. Had Mount Rushmore been carved a few years later, it is likely he would have been included.
Paralysed from the waist down due to contracting what was diagnosed as polio but has since been identified as Guillain-Barre syndrome, it didn’t stop him having numerous affairs. A prolific womaniser, he had no less than five on the go at the time of his death.
Roosevelt founded several charities for the disabled and effectively ended prohibition. His administration put the US on course to becoming the strongest country in the world, and it was indeed under Roosevelt that in 1943 the USA overtook Britain in terms of financial power and production. Roosevelt was the last president to be elected for three consecutive terms. After leading the US through World War II, Roosevelt expired in the arms of his mistress, Lucy Mercer, three weeks before VE Day. Still, it’s what he would’ve wanted…
With a surname like that he was never going to end up working in a factory. Nelson Rockerfeller was the second grandson of the Standard Oil founder John D Rockerfeller, head of one of the richest dynasties in the world.
An enthusiastic art collector, Rockerfeller served as President at the Museum of Modern Art and set up a philanthropic trust fund with his brothers. Nelson started his career in family related businesses before going into politics, though after falling out with Harry Truman over US policies in South America, Rockerfeller was fired and went into the political wilderness, before coming back in the 50’s and rising through various administrations, becoming vice-President to Gerald Ford in the 1970’s.
Criticised for his handling of prison riots, Rockerfeller is one of several politicians attacked in John Lennon’s "Attica State". Rockerfeller was married twice, and died of a heart attack in 1979, while at it with a 25 year old aide.
Pope Leo VII
No less than 4 popes have died during sexual intercourse which, if you are religious, begs the question of divine intervention. The first of these was Leo VII. Papal celibacy wasn’t a job requirement until 1139 however, so Leo was still interred in St Peters Basillica.
Leo became pope in 936AD. This was the era of the Crusades. Hysterical propaganda against these Muslim devils who had taken over the Holy Land was whipped up by the Vatican. In those days there weren’t many Muslims in Europe. Instead, it was the huge Jewish population that was targeted and pogroms were rife across the continent. Leo elected Frederick, Archbishop of Mainz as his representative in the Germanic states, giving him the licence to expel any Jews that refused to convert to Christianity.
Leo died of a heart attack in the heat of a passionate moment in 939AD.
Pope John XII
Again celibacy was still not necessary to achieve the highest office in the days of John XII. Just as well for him too, as his reign as pope was notoriously debauched enough to have made Roderigo Borgia raise his eyebrows.
John was indeed a bit of a devil, with mistresses left, right and every other position.
It is said that the legend of Pope Joan, a woman who supposedly was elected pope and then gave birth rather publicly, causing the enraged crowd to tear her to pieces, was based on one of John XII’s women.
Otto I, the Holy Roman Emperor demanded his impeachment and trial on numerous unholy charges. John threatened to excommunicate anyone who tried to depose him. When the emperor did, John led a counter-revolt and mutilated several of his enemies, restoring himself to the Holy See. However, his behaviour didn’t improve and in 964AD, he was bludgeoned to death by the cuckolded husband of the woman he was in the arms of at the time.
Pope John XIII
There is a legend that John XIII once cured a nobleman possessed by evil spirits using the chains that bound St Peter, who, as prisoner to King Herod, was allegedly freed by an angel who happened to be passing. The story goes that John had used several ordinary chains to no effect, but when he used the real one that had shackled Peter, the nobleman recovered.
John succeeded John XII in 965AD, inheriting his feud with Otto I the Holy Roman Emperor. Upon his return to Rome, John had Peter, the Prefect of Rome (who had plotted against him) hung by his hair from a statue of Marcus Aurelius before being stripped naked and tied backward on an ass covered in feathers with a bell round his neck and paraded through the streets of Rome before being thrown into a dungeon and then sent to the Holy Roman Emperor in Germany.
John had very fair hair and was nicknamed the “White Hen” from childhood. He never learnt from his predecessor however, and despite a pious and devoted reputation, he was also murdered by an irate husband in 972AD after being caught in the act with his wife.
Pope Paul II
By the time of Paul’s pontificate, the celibacy law had been enshrined and sex of any description was a big no-no. It’s not surprising that many closeted gay people went into the church. In those days there was no Stonewall, Will and Grace or Elton John.
The church was the key to power and an excellent cover. Paul was homosexual, and also a flamboyant cross dresser. As pope he had access to all sorts of frocks and bling. He was also a keen collector of art and antiques.
Despite his renaissance tendencies, Paul was no “fluffy poof” and in spite of looking stereotypically Jewish in the above portrait, he was a rabid anti-semite. He is alleged to have been the originator of the law forcing the Jews to wear a yellow star, echoed by the Nazis centuries later. Allegedly suffering a heart attack whilst “being sodomised by a page boy”, Paul died in 1471.
The Duke Of Orleans, Phillipe II
Regent to the boy king Louis XV of France, Philippe was a bit of a scientist and musician in his youth, composing two operas and undertaking scientific research in between wars during his military career in Spain and Italy.
Controversy followed Philippe throughout his life. When his mother discovered he had agreed to marry his cousin, she slapped his face in front of the entire court of Versailles. During his period as Regent there were scandalous rumours regarding an incestuous relationship between him and his daughter and there were numerous songs and poems across France on the subject.
In 1721, the now elderly and debauched duke took a new mistress, who was almost 30 years his junior against the advice of his doctor. Two years later he suffered a massive stroke and died whilst in her arms.
Attila The Hun
Known as the "Scourge of God" by his enemies, Attila was one of the ugliest people in history, and not just physically according to contemporary Roman and Greek historians. We must take into account that we only have these accounts from his enemies. Attila's allies were not literate so our picture is somewhat one-sided.
What is clear is that he was a pretty competent general, and as the leader of an empire in central and Eastern Europe that comprised of Huns, Goths, Alans, Vandals and pretty much anyone else that wasn’t part of the crumbling Roman empire, Attila led an invasion of the Byzantine empire and then pushed into Western Europe, sacking the Italian peninsula, though failing to take Rome. He is also known to have conquered the Balkans and parts of Gaul, modern day France.
Ugly or not, Attila still had a dozen wives, and while celebrating his twelfth marriage, he allegedly burst an artery (though other sources claim a heart attack) and died in 453AD.
Faure was elected president of France as a compromise candidate in 1895. Faure granted amnesty to anarchists but was criticised by leading intellectuals of the day such as Emile Zola over his refusal to grant an appeal to Alfred Dreyfus, whose incarceration on Devil’s Island on a trumped up spying charge had divided the country and highlighted the latent anti-semitism rife in France at the time.
Not a friend of progress, he hated the new invention of the motor car, despite his country being the industry leader in the late 1890’s.
In typical French style, Felix Faure died in a Paris brothel in 1899. It is rumoured that the woman he was with went into shock and his member had to be surgically removed from her. However, other accounts say that he wasn’t actually engaged in intercourse at the time. Whatever the truth, it is doubtful he just popped in to use the bathroom.
His name is immortalised for posterity as a station on the Paris Metro and as a ship that ran aground nine years later on the Antipode Islands, just south of New Zealand.
Nicknamed “The Mongoose”, Henry John Temple, 3rd Viscount Palmerston was British prime minister twice during the middle of the 1800’s. As the job didn't pay, the majority of politicians were aristocrats, as they were the only people who could afford to do it.
Palmerston is credited with the quote, “Die my dear doctor? That is the last thing I shall do”, though this is probably apocryphal.
Palmerston was the very first Liberal Prime Minister (or First Lord of the Treasury as is the proper job title), and was very much a product of an imperial nation. However, Queen Victoria didn’t like him or trust him and gave him a dressing down due to his attitudes towards foreign policy.
His first period as PM saw Britain embroiled in the Crimean war, which involved the legendary charge of the light brigade, made famous by Tennyson’s poem.The second opium war took place under Palmerston which resulted in warships shelling the Chinese port of Nanking, giving rise to the expression, gunboat diplomacy. China had refused to let Britain trade opium from India within China. This was literally a drug war, with Britain as the drug baron. It also resulted in Britain ruling Hong Kong until 1993.
In 1865, the 80 year old Palmerston suffered a heart attack whilst at it with a parlour-maid on a billiard table. Most British people know him today as the name of a pub or street, but to this day Palmerston is the last British Prime Minister to die whilst still in office.