Six Ways to Stay Strong When Folks Mock Your Moral Values

Updated on January 3, 2018
MsDora profile image

MsDora, Certified Christian Counselor writes on moral integrity especially for women and promotes the significance of the men in their lives

These days, it is common to discuss morality with reference to global issues: environmental pollution, child labor, product research on animals, and similar worthy topics. However, this article begs to consider basic, everyday morality--the old-fashioned concept of choosing to do the right thing, based on a prescribed standard of conduct (which for many of us is extracted from Scripture).

Basic moral values like politeness, honesty, kindness, fairness, and self-control are demonstrated through self-respect, respect for others, and responsibility in meeting obligations. Sometimes, though, shortcuts or detours from these principles are created when everyday conflicts between right and wrong become overwhelming.

Old-Fashioned Honesty

Photo by Karen Arnold
Photo by Karen Arnold | Source

Who are the folks who mock moral values?

Our society accepts certain forms of behavior as moral and beneficial to individuals and their communities. An easy list (not all-inclusive) can be formed by revisiting the Ten Commandments previously taught in schools and is still a part of religious instructions.

The table below lists the summary of those morals along with the list of moral scoffers and offenders; and after the table there are six suggestions to help both the youthful and the mature stay strong in the midst of hostile pressure from folks who no longer care about the premise for moral values.

Do you believe that the values in the Ten Commandments are still relevant?

See results
Moral Principles
Moral Offenders
Honor, reverence and worship for God and His Sovereignty
People who disrespect God, His worship and His Sovereignty
Respect for His Name and His Sabbath
All, including media personnel, who make fun of His Name and His Word
Respect for parents and their authority
Those who mock parental authority
Respect for the sacredness of life
Those who show disrespect for life by ending it just because they can
Fidelity in marriage
Those who cheat
Honesty, absence of slander and greed in interaction with others
People who refer to these values as outdated and irrelevant

(1) Focus on Purpose

Knowing the reason for living by moral principles will help practitioners anticipate the positive rewards:

  • satisfaction and inner peace as opposed to guilt feelings;
  • making others happy instead of offending them;
  • setting good examples as opposed to initiating morally-wrong influences for the next generation.

Focusing on the immediate and long-term effect of morality, can help individuals stay strong and do the right thing for the right reason.

(2) Set and Respect Boundaries

Photo by ArthurMcGill
Photo by ArthurMcGill | Source

The suggestion for compromise can sometimes be very subtle. A single woman establishes a rule not to call her married friends after nine o'clock at night. One of her married male friends sends a Skype message: "I wish you didn't have that rule; I wanted to talk with you." He seems have a good reason, so she waives her rule. Nothing they say would make things any different than if they had waited until the morning. He just wanted to see whether she would compromise her moral posture, then he would keep pushing against the boundary.

People who do not care about moral boundaries may mock those who observe them, and even try to negate their rules. The key is for individuals who set them to recognize their rights to observe them, and resist the attempts of anyone who suggests compromise. Compromise does not lend to individual strength.

(3) Find Supportive Friends

It is universally agreed upon that friends have great influence on how friends behave. The Bible mandate states:

"Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts." - 2 Timothy 2:22 (NLT)

Morally-minded friends offer assistance, advise, accountability, affirmation and applause to help each other stay strong. Their peer support combats peer pressure from people who casually disregard moral values. They can be a source of strength whether they are near or far away.

(4) Nourish the Mind

Photo by Circe Denyer
Photo by Circe Denyer | Source

Friends can support the individual who commits to a moral lifestyle, but that individual has the obligation to nurture his or her own inner strength. Here is some wisdom:

"How can a young person stay pure?
By obeying your word." - Psalm 119:9

That includes Bible Study; devotionals; church sermons; wise counsel from godly parents, teachers and friends. It also suggests not reading about, not listening to, not engaging in discussions which promote immoral behavior. The desire for moral strength must come from within. Garbage in, garbage out! Goodness in, goodness out!

(5) Get Physical

Not in any illicit activity. Neither does it have to be jogging or working out in a gym. Dancing, swimming, biking or hiking are some physical activities which can also be fun. Skills You Need informs:

"Exercise improves mood and give you an improved sense of well-being. Physical activity stimulates the release of endorphins which make you feel better and more relaxed. These in turn improve your mood and lower your stress levels. . . Exercise increases blood flow and oxygen levels in the brain."

Stress and lackadaisical attitudes are opposing influences on moral behavior. When people are tired, feeling weak or depressed, their cognitive ability is below par. In such a compromised state, it is easier to be seduced into wrong doing. They sometimes do things they regret and wonder how they could have done what they did. It helps to get physical when stupor begins to set in. Alertness aids mental and moral strength.

(6) Adopt a Song

Years ago, there was a documentary on recovering alcoholics. Each one selected a song which served as a moral anchor. When he or she felt the pull to try one more drink, singing that song made the craving disappear.

Whether singing, listening or playing, there are many positive effects of music on behavior. Deane Alban, on Be Brain Fit cites:

"Music can make you smarter, happier and more productive at all stages of life. . . Listening and playing music reduces chronic stress by lowering the stress hormone cortisol. Music can make you feel more hopeful, powerful, and in control of your life."

Having some meaningful lyrics to sing or repeat may be just the thing to prevent surrender to temptation when an individual desires to spread some gossip, watch a porn movie, or cheat on a mate. If a recorded song is selected and memorized, the singer will hear the music whether or not the tape is playing.

The self-control to walk away from the den of temptation, or to turn one's back on a scoffer and immediately burst into song is certainly an asset in keeping the singer morally strong.

Questions & Answers

    © 2017 Dora Weithers


      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 8 weeks ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks, Ron. It's great to receive affirmation on these topics which do not seem significant for the majority. We need support in standing strong.

      • RonElFran profile image

        Ronald E Franklin 8 weeks ago from Mechanicsburg, PA

        These are great pointers for maintaining strong moral values. I especially identify with your #4. In these days when the very idea of setting strong moral boundaries for a person's behavior and lifestyle is widely mocked, the guidance and encouragement provided in Scripture is vital. And I really like your revised meaning for gigo: "goodness in, goodness out."

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 3 months ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks, Rajan. Glad that you consider the article helpful. Music is one of my favorite anchors too. Lyrics, good or bad stay on your mind and surface when something triggers them. We can't go wrong with good lyrics.

      • rajan jolly profile image

        Rajan Singh Jolly 3 months ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

        All the ways listed here to keep oneself strong are very useful, I personally find music/songs to be a great help in keeping one's moral up in all cases. This hub should be a great help to a lot of people.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 8 months ago from The Caribbean

        Scott, thank you for sharing your insight on the connection between physical, mental and moral strength. I like when individuals have the experience to back up their proposition like you did.

      • promisem profile image

        Scott Bateman 8 months ago

        Your No. 5 makes me think about an insight I had many years ago that has stayed true for me. I see physical health and strength as the foundation of mental health and strength. Mental and moral strength are very much tied together.

        I have been far more resilient dealing with immoral people in my life in part because of discipline with physical health. It gave me more energy and the ability to deal with high amounts of stress that came from people who lived a selfish and hateful life.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 9 months ago from The Caribbean

        Tamara, thanks for your kind, encouraging remarks. Happy when my readers find my articles helpful.

      • profile image

        Tamara Moore 9 months ago

        I very much like this Hub, and the very valid principles you have listed here. This is another highly valuable Hub, by you, Dora! I do thank you!

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 12 months ago from The Caribbean

        Papeee, I share your opinion. In the lyrics of a good hymn, we talk with God or listen to Him. Songs about Him strengthen our faith.

      • profile image

        Papeeebooks 12 months ago

        The point about finding a song is very true. It lifts the spirit and makes you feel that with God by your side, you can face anything. Great article!

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 12 months ago from The Caribbean

        Tamara, having a song in your heart really helps. When you begin to sing, you feel the strength welling up inside. Thanks for your input.

      • profile image

        Tamara Moore 12 months ago

        Thank you! I would like to adopt a song to sing to myself when I feel anxious, saddened, or joyful :-) I like you chart, too.



      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 13 months ago from The Caribbean

        Natalie, it is true that people might think they get away with wrongdoing, but do they really? Perhaps for a while. Thank you for your meaningful input.

      • Natalie Frank profile image

        Natalie Frank 13 months ago from Chicago, IL

        It seems things have gotten all mixed up in the world, with a lack of morals something many actually adopt instead of staying true to an ethical code. It often is as if people thing moral is the same thing as "if I can get away with it without serious repercussion," making fun of those who have such a code. Thank you for an inspirational article.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 13 months ago from The Caribbean

        Shauna, we are on the same page. Thank you for sharing your positive insight on the value of morals.

      • bravewarrior profile image

        Shauna L Bowling 13 months ago from Central Florida

        Morality is the base of character, ethic, self-worth and overall happiness. Whether learned from bible study or simple respect, strong morals are the foundation from which we can strive forward with compassion, love and understanding.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 13 months ago from The Caribbean

        Lawrence, thanks for sharing from your teaching experience. You make a very valuable point about compromise. It destroys the health of the relationship.

      • profile image

        Lawrence Hebb 13 months ago


        Some really good stuff here. My wife and I used to work with Operation Mobilization who teach many of the moral principles you talk about here.

        People often laugh when I tell them, but I point out that I knew a few couples who 'only compromised a little', not one of their marriages made it past five years!

        What seems 'easy' today will come back to bite.

        Great hub


      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 13 months ago from The Caribbean

        Chris, I'm proud of you. I mean that. Self-control and persistence in the right direction are qualities to admire. Best to you going forward on the high road! Thank you for your encouraging share!

      • cam8510 profile image

        Chris Mills 13 months ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

        Dora, excellent hub. As a recovering alcoholic, I have a first line defense that helps me achieve my moral goals. That first line is that I won't drink...Today. If I fail at that, and I haven't for seven years and eleven months, then the domino effect applies in my moral life. Thanks for this emphasis on personal morality.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 13 months ago from The Caribbean

        Dream, your comment leaves me greatly encouraged. Your tenets are empowering both to me and my readers. Please accept my appreciation and my gratitude.

      • DREAM ON profile image

        DREAM ON 13 months ago

        I want to let you know your words play like a song to me. Each hub I read is not a rule book or restrictions what we shouldn't do. It's the way we feel before and after without ever going in the bad direction. We have choices and it is up to each one of us to decide which choice is the best. Time and again you point out why this would be a better choice and if other choices are made these can be some of the problems that come your way. I see so many good things making right choices before bad then I don't have to spend my life correcting and fixing to be better. I look at your hubs as an efficiency program in business and in life. If we want to get any job or task done we can do it one of two ways..... Take a shortcut and finish early and have to fix later. Do the right way that takes longer and we are proud of and can stand behind everything we did with common sense and good reasons to back it up. Lead by good example and other good people will do the same. Keep the people we respect and appreciate their values so in our close circle of friends. They will be here for us time and time again.Thank you for reading and sharing.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 13 months ago from The Caribbean

        Bill, there are many, including me, who share your thoughts. Where have all the values gone?

      • lifegate profile image

        William Kovacic 13 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

        More practical, good thoughts to shape our lives. I remember when I was in 3rd grade, my teacher would read the bible and pray every morning. they don't do that anymore, and, well, you see the shape of the nation. Just a side thought.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 13 months ago from The Caribbean

        Well said, Denise, and thank you. The new "normal" is almost always against old-fashioned morality. We have our jobs cut out for us.

      • denise.w.anderson profile image

        Denise W Anderson 13 months ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

        Moral strength is definitely lacking in our society, as is evidenced by the plethora of media portrayals of relationships that are outside Biblical standards. It is necessary for us to teach our youth at earlier ages what is appropriate and what is not. Otherwise, they will learn what is "normal" in society and adopt it instead.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 13 months ago from The Caribbean

        Paula, thanks for your valuable input. Your views can be old-fashioned and sensible at the same time. Don't be frustrated by those who think differently; just let them see how much happier than they you are because of the difference in choices you make.

      • fpherj48 profile image

        Paula 13 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

        Ms. Dora....I love this hub. I am called "Old Fashioned" sp pften by so many, I finally just accepted the title. "OK, I guess I am...or maybe it just seems that way to you....because....well," I figure I should stop right there. If am entire group or generation of people have been brought up very differently than I was (and my particular generation) what on earth can get through to them when their core beliefs/morals are literally non-existent? It's rather frustrating, not to mention I am actually sad for some of these individuals. What else can we think but how sad to not seem to know right from wrong, kindness from coldness, and generosity from selfishness?? I don't get it.

        I keep on believing that as time goes on and people realize how unhappy they are and why things don't seem to work out for them~~perhaps they'll see the "Light," and wake up to their own ignorance.

        The lessons are so simple. It's as clear as day to recognize "Good" vs "Bad." It's choice that gets in the way. So, when we see our choices have led us nowhere.....time to try better choices! Is this really difficult? Thanks for such an inspirational read. Peace, Paula

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 13 months ago from The Caribbean

        Martie, the situation in South Africa is beyond what most of us can relate to. It is even hard to figure the consequences. Understandable. Thanks for your kind comment.

      • MartieCoetser profile image

        Martie Coetser 13 months ago from South Africa

        Too many people in South Africa do not live according to the standards that's been set by the Ten Commandments. For them stealing and killing is just a way to survive. Go figure the consequences! And I don't see any miracles in site.

        Your tips are profound and very useful. Thank you, MsDora!

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Mary, so far it seems that the biggest let down for morals is in the United States, and you add the United Kingdom. That's sad, but it is good to know that other countries especially respect their elders. Thanks for your input.

      • Blond Logic profile image

        Mary Wickison 14 months ago from Brazil

        I am living in rural Brazil where most people still have a strong moral grounding. This is a far cry from what I experienced in the UK and what I see on the internet from the US.

        It is refreshing to see respect for their elders, politeness, a trust in God so deeply embedded in the culture.

        You've listed some interesting points about keeping true to your values. I never considered how important exercise and music were to maintaining inner strength and peace. Very inspirational hub. Thank you.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Alicia, thanks for affirming the importance of exercise in mood control. Your input means a lot to me.

      • AliciaC profile image

        Linda Crampton 14 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

        Staying strong and behaving according to our moral values is very important, especially in difficult times. My favourite support mechanism out of the ones that you've listed is physical activity. I've alway found brisk walking helpful for improving my mood and helping me to solve problems. Thanks for sharing your ideas, MsDora.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks, Tmheffernan. You may want to share some of your coursework on HP. Thanks for your comment.

      • tmheffernan profile image

        tmheffernan 14 months ago from Middle East

        I am currently doing an online course on Morals and Ethice in the Construction Industry and find your hub fascinating.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks, Terrielynn. Always glad when my article inspires someone. When it comes to moral values, there is plenty to think about.

      • Terrielynn1 profile image

        Terrie Lynn 14 months ago from Canada

        It was really refreshing to see your article in my feed. This is something to really ponder on. Thank you for such an inspiring hub.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Thanks, Nell. Did you ever think that the neighbors might enjoy your singing? I appreciate you sharing how singing prevents you from whining. Good use!

      • Nell Rose profile image

        Nell Rose 14 months ago from England

        Hi, I sing all the time, in fact the neighbors must be going nuts by now! lol! but yes I do tend to sing when I don't want to do something, so it gives me the incentive to do it without whining and moaning. Like washing the dishes and so on. We all need moral values, this society these days have gone so far from the path, lovely and useful hub as always.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Manatita, we will probably talk some more about the book. It seems that I am unable to steer clear of the purity topic, so these articles happen sometimes. Thanks for your encouragement.

      • manatita44 profile image

        manatita44 14 months ago from london

        Yes, Dee, I like it.

        A very wholesome Hub with salient and invaluable insights, so necessary in today's word. You remind me of when I first knew you with your purity series. We all have our strengths and your presentation skills are superior to mines. The writing continues to be of a very high standard.

        I may have mentioned that you should write a motivational or inspirational book. Do as you're doing, but the genre is better suited perhaps, in terms of what people look for nowadays.

        In the movie I mentioned, the main character is very virtuous, while much deceit is happening around him. However, he is gradually being loved as the bad Lord's daughter is similar to him and loves him. As the various sects get to know him, some plot and yet others scheme, but still find a place for him in their hearts. He is so neutral, you see. They say that Love ultimately conquers. Excellent work!

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Bill, your comment makes a good summary for my article. Well said and thank you very much.

      • billybuc profile image

        Bill Holland 14 months ago from Olympia, WA

        God bless you, Dora! I love this article and your suggestions! Moral values are as important today as they were five-hundred years ago, and those who don't understand that are just making excuses for unacceptable behavior.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Eric, when the family agree on the meaning and significance of morality, those family members are blessed. Cheers to a great family!

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Jack, thanks for your valuable historical input. Seems that the authority of church and state seem to overlap sometimes, doesn't it? The morals in the ten commandments are adopted by our society. People go to jail for dishonesty and no one applauds an adulterer. That doesn't negate Jefferson's idea or morality used to educate. Both church and state benefit here and no one is silenced or harmed. It is scary to consider what those other people believe.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Sally, thanks as always for your valuable input. I believe that all these values can be taught and learned, but some may be presented as more important than the others. As you suggest, example is a great teacher. What if they never see the demonstration of a certain value?

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Mary, thanks for being on the side that promotes values. Respect for elders is important in promoting respect for authority and compassion for the elderly. Praying that you and the nun can put heads together and think of some helpful ideas to help the young people.

      • Ericdierker profile image

        Eric Dierker 14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

        Really well done Dora. Right from the start I was thinking about my close people. Wow I am really blessed. They are very moral and help to lift me up to do well myself. Thank you for this. A great way to start a day.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Flourish, why am I not surprised that you find the idea of singing attractive? Yes, you know the power of a song. Thank you for your affirmation.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Jill, believe it or not, this article started out on the premise you mentioned: "Trying to be the person I would like to be is a constant struggle." You and I are on the same page. Thank you for your encouragement.

      • jgshorebird profile image

        Jack Shorebird 14 months ago from Southeastern U.S.

        Good hub, but I'll need to differ to one of America's founding fathers: Thomas Jefferson. That governing must be kept separate from religion. That morality, its purpose, is to educate us. Morality is not suffering. It is not death. Morality is life and one's enjoyment.

        Jefferson, who arguably, gave us the United States, for all of her problems and accomplishments, was very old fashioned and according to his writings, he was against all forms of religion. He openly mocked God...freedom of speech. When we disallow this, we fail to be moral. All arguments must be heard. All beliefs, long as they do not silence/physically harm.

        Radical Islamism, as an example, desires to subjugate or kill all Christians and atheists, in the name of Allah. During the Crusades, the Pope(s) ordered death to the Muslims in the name of God.

        Jack (United States)

      • sallybea profile image

        Sally Gulbrandsen 14 months ago from Norfolk

        I often wonder why it is that so many people find it so hard to be polite honest, kind and fair and still exercise self-control. Perhaps for some people, it is a built mechanism and for others, it is something which they have to learn by example. Heaven knows there are not enough of those around but one thing is for sure MsDora you are a great example.

      • aesta1 profile image

        Mary Norton 14 months ago from Ontario, Canada

        I'm glad you wrote this. I was talking to a nun today and these are our concerns. Decency seems to have been forgotten and anything goes seems to be the norm. While many parents try to raise their children well, these basic values have been eroded in society and it is a problem. I like being in the part of Asia where respect for the elders is still strong and traditions still strongly adhered to.

      • FlourishAnyway profile image

        FlourishAnyway 14 months ago from USA

        I love your suggestion of adopting a song -- a personal strength anthem to remind you to stay on course!

      • The Dirt Farmer profile image

        Jill Spencer 14 months ago from United States

        Thanks for the reminders, MsDora. It really is important to be thoughtful about one's life and to be willing to change and grow. Trying to be the person I would like to be is a constant struggle as I endeavor not to be someone who simply follows social norms to gain social acceptance but someone driven by the impulse of love and the generosity of spirit Jesus exhibits in the NT. Your hubs are always good to read.

      • MsDora profile image

        Dora Weithers 14 months ago from The Caribbean

        Jackie, I share your concern. We can only do what we can and continue to intercede especially for the youth. Thanks for your very valuable comment.

      • Jackie Lynnley profile image

        Jackie Lynnley 14 months ago from The Beautiful South

        How hard it must be today Dora for young Christians I can only imagine. The horrors I see online makes me want to cringe. Seems to be worse with women on one hand who do not claim God and then men on the other who claim a false one.

        I will certainly be happy to see revival which I do believe there will be whether I live to see it or not. But I do hope young believers hang in there and know it is worth it!

        Great write as always!