I've read over 10,000 student essays during my career (but who's counting?), and I always appreciated the students who took the extra effort to make their papers interesting and funny. One day in class, my students decided to brainstorm some funny essay topics. I started from there and developed this list. Personally, I think that you will probably get some extra effort credit when you make your teacher have fun reading your paper after having graded a stack of less interesting essays!