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10 Ways Poor Body Language Is Strangling Your Self-Confidence

Michael enjoys writing inspirational articles for those who wish to improve their lives.


Imagine having the infectious and charming James Bond confidence. This isn't a far-fetched goal or habit that only a selected few can achieve. Confidence and body language are intertwined, and you can't have self-confidence with poor body language.

According to a report by Forbes, people who have the right body language appear more credible and are more confident.

Having self-confidence and confidence in your abilities will lead you to a path of habit changes. Breaking these bad, destructive habits will take time and effort. You're definitely on the right path because you're reading this.

Read on to find out what body language or habit you need to tweak or do away with.

1. Poor Eye Contact

Do you always seem to look down or look away when your eyes meet with a friend or coworker's eyes? If the answer is yes, you have poor or weak eye contact. This is the first step in improving yourself.

What is good eye contact, then? Looking at someone straight in the eyes and maintaining that for a couple of minutes is really overwhelming and uncomfortable to most of us. But avoiding eye contact is a much bigger issue. You don't want to appear unreliable, inattentive, and unworthy of what is being presented to you, such as a job, business, relationship, task, leadership, or responsibility.

Remember—don't overdo it. Don't stare; that will just be weird and creepy to the other person. Staring is looking at someone with no emotions. That is, you're not smiling; your face is expressionless. Good eye contact is accompanied by the right facial expressions.

2. Failing to Smile

Smiling is a basic but sometimes forgotten way of communicating. It doesn't take much effort and energy for you to smile. Smiling is so integral to how people perceive you. Do you want to appear to be a friendly and open person? Don't forget to smile.

Your amazing smile can change a nerve-wracking and uncomfortable situation into an unforgettable experience. Smiling has an infectious and surprising effect.

In a Scandinavian study, it was found that people had difficulty frowning when they looked at other people who were smiling.

When you smile, you're conveying that you are an easy-going person.

For example, if you strike up a conversation with a total stranger, the likelihood of them being receptive to you will be increased by your smile.

Don't forget to smile!

3. Poor Posture

Are you slouching? If yes, you need to change your posture. The majority of people have developed bad posture while walking, standing, and sitting. You aren't standing tall.

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You should have your shoulders back and your chest forward. This signifies a confident person who is easy-going and comfortable in their own skin.

Taking a power pose—just by pushing your shoulders back and lifting your head, you boost testosterone, which helps with confidence while lowering cortisol, a hormone associated with stress, according to Aligned Modern Health.

Changing your bad posture isn't going to be easy because you have become used to it, but putting in the effort is worth it!

4. Crossing Your Arms

Don't cross your arms as this signifies that you are a closed person or you're hiding something. This is a defensive stance that is pretty poor body language; you won't win friends when your arms are crossed. You will be saying one thing, but your body will be saying something else.

For example, if you tell your friends or coworkers that you loved the party, barbeque, or sporting event you attended, but your arms are crossed, you come across as nervous and uncomfortable. Your body language is communicating something totally different from your words.

You will try to hide your real feelings, but you'll be contradicting yourself. For self-confidence to be nurtured and developed, being true to yourself is very important.

If that party was boring, don't be afraid to say it. Display the right body language, and confidence will manifest.


5. Avoid Massive Fidgeting

You are moving your hands in a manner that signifies you're nervous and bored. If you are accustomed to engaging in this habit, discarding it won't be a walk in the park. It won't change overnight where you wake up tomorrow with no type of fidgeting.

This has to be the surest sign that you are really nervous and uncomfortable in a new environment such as a crowded place or a meeting.

Fidgeting less is the first goal to strive for. If you are in a nervous situation for five times in a day. Don't fidget in three of them. This will gradually help to coping in uncomfortable situations.

6. Having a Vulnerable Handshake

A handshake is the first connection you develop with a person in terms of touch. Touching is an amazing way of having a trustworthy human connection. How can you tell whether your handshake is ideal and not weak or poor? What does a firm handshake entail?

If you're greeting someone, you should feel his hand not his fingertips. The handshake has to be firm in that your hand is interlocked with the other person's hand. Don't squeeze his hand too much, you aren't trying to break it. Shake his hand but don't do it like you're trying to rip his arm out of his socket. You'll come off as too aggressive.

Do it right and your self confidence will soar. People will perceive you as both charming and friendly.

7. Playing Worryingly With Your Hand or Something Around You

You are obviously nervous. It might be that stressful situation you have found yourself in. You've to be comfortable with it if confidence will be nurtured in you. You might be counting your fingers, eating your fingernails or just rubbing your hands together frequently. You also can take some of the items that are within your reach such as a pen and use it. For example, you will take the pen and start biting it or rolling it with your hands.

This boredom and nervousness can be taken care of by being comfortable and happy with yourself.

8. Panicky Playing With Your Hair

This shows your anxiety and nervousness. You are rubbing and flicking your hair every second. Your hair stylist did a great job, you don't have to touch it at every opportunity. Am not saying that every time you touch your hair you're essentially nervous.

The nervousness can be evident if there is too much hair touching, flicking or rubbing that it becomes distracting. You feel the tension and the discomfort is overwhelming.

You can't ace that job interview or presentation if your hair becomes part of the conversation in a negative way.

9. Reduce Touching Your Face

Rubbing your eyes, nose and face at every opportunity you find. The tension and nervousness is killing you inside. If you are in a conversation with anyone, this becomes distracting to the other person.

You won't clearly lay out your message to your audience of choice.

Remember that if you have an itch, please do get rid of it. What is important to note is that excessive face touching signifies nervousness and discomfort.

Take care of that itch but am pretty sure an itch doesn't happen or occur on your face at every single second or minute.

10. Vulnerably Crossing Your Legs When Sitting

You have a closed off body language. You are nervous but also hiding something. You definitely don't want your first impression to be of an insecure person. Self confidence cannot be thriving if this body language is ever present in you. You need to get rid of one, the bad habit or confidence.

The best way to have your legs positioned while sitting is legs apart firmly placed to the ground. You need to feel your feet firmly placed on the ground.

By having your legs apart, it signifies confidence in yourself and your abilities.

Confidence is Key

You should be striving to achieve self confidence and being the best version of yourself. But this can't be a reality if you have bad habits that are clearly derailing your progress.

By taking care of your poor body language, you're not becoming an emotionless human being.

What you have to become aware of are all these emotions like nervousness or anxiety.

When you're aware of them, you make an informed decision that isn't influenced by your emotion. For example, you're nervous. Why are you nervous? Because you're in a crowded street. So don't run away and try to find a less crowded street.

Take care of yourself to achieve the best from yourself.

Do you know of any other tips I haven't mentioned?

Do share in the comment section below.


Behaviors to Build Trust and Attraction | Psychology Today

Bad body language habits. - Forbes

How Your Legs Secretly Tell Others About What You Are ... - Lifehack

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

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