10 Little Known Ways That Your Poor Body Language Is Strangling Your Self Confidence.

Updated on October 6, 2018

Imagine having the James Bond confidence that is so infectious and charming. This isn't a far fetched goal or habit that only a selected few can achieve. Confidence and body language are intertwined and you can't have self confidence with poor body language.

According to a report by Forbes, people who have the right body language appear more credible and are more confident."

Having self confidence in yourself and your abilities will lead you to a path of habit change. Breaking these bad destructive habits will take time and effort to eradicate. You're definitely on the right path to change because you are reading this.

Read on and let's find out what body language or habit you need to tweak or do away with.

1. Poor Eye Contact

Do you always seem to look down or look away when your eyes meet with a friend or coworker's eyes? If a definite yes, you have poor or weak eye contact. This is the first step in improving yourself.

What is good eye contact then? Looking at someone straight in the eyes and maintaining that for a couple of minutes is really overwhelming and uncomfortable to most of us. But avoiding eye contact is a much graver crime. You don't want to appear unreliable, inattentive and unworthy of what is being presented to you such as a job, business, relationship, task, leadership or responsibility.

Remember don't overdo it. Don't stare, that will just be weird and creepy to the other person. Staring is looking at someone with no emotions. That is you're not smiling, your face is expressionless. Good eye contact is accompanied with the right facial expressions.

2. Mistaking to Smile

A basic but mostly forgotten way of communicating. It won't take much effort and energy for you to just smile. Smiling is so integral to how people perceive you. You want to come out as a friendly and open person? Don't forget to smile.

Your amazing smile can change a nerve wrecking and uncomfortable situation into an unforgettable experience. Smiling has an infectious and surprising effect.

In a Scandinavian study, it was found that people had difficulty frowning when they looked at other people who were smiling.

When you smile, you're conveying that you are an easy going person.

For example, if you strike up a conversation with a total stranger, the likelihood of him or her being receptive to you will highly be influenced by your smile.

A smile is a natural occurrence with a proven track record but you fail to utilize it. Don't loose it and smile away.

3. Having a Toxic Posture

Are you slouching? If yes, taking care and changing your posture cannot be ignored. The majority of people have developed a bad posture while walking, standing and sitting. You aren't standing tall.

You should be having your shoulders back eventually moving your chest forward. This signifies a confident person who is easy going and comfortable in his own skin or body.

Taking a power pose—just by pushing your shoulders back and lifting your head—you boost testosterone which helps with confidence, while lowering cortisol, which is associated with stress according to Aligned modern health.

Changing your bad posture ain't going to be easy because you have become conditioned and are used to it.

4. Crossing Your Free Arms

Don't cross them as it signifies that you are a closed person or you're hiding something. This is a defensive stance and position you are developing. This is a pretty poor body language as you won't win friends when your arms are crossed. You will be saying such and such a thing but your body will be saying a different thing.

For example, you are telling your friends or coworkers that you loved the party, barbeque or sporting event you attended but your arms are crossed. You are definitely nervous and uncomfortable in such a situation. Your body language is communicating something totally different from your words.

You will try to hide your real feelings but you'll be contradicting yourself. For self confidence to be nurtured and developed, being true to self is very important.

If that party was boring don't be afraid to say it. Have the right body language and confidence will manifest.


5. Avoid Massive Fidgeting

You are moving your hands in a manner that signifies you're nervous and bored. If you are accustomed to engaging in this habit, discarding it won't be a walk in the park. It won't change overnight where you wake up tomorrow with no type of fidgeting.

This has to be the surest sign that you are really nervous and uncomfortable in a new environment such as a crowded place or a meeting.

Fidgeting less is the first goal to strive for. If you are in a nervous situation for five times in a day. Don't fidget in three of them. This will gradually help to coping in uncomfortable situations.

6. Having a Vulnerable Handshake

A handshake is the first connection you develop with a person in terms of touch. Touching is an amazing way of having a trustworthy human connection. How can you tell whether your handshake is ideal and not weak or poor? What does a firm handshake entail?

If you're greeting someone, you should feel his hand not his fingertips. The handshake has to be firm in that your hand is interlocked with the other person's hand. Don't squeeze his hand too much, you aren't trying to break it. Shake his hand but don't do it like you're trying to rip his arm out of his socket. You'll come off as too aggressive.

Do it right and your self confidence will soar. People will perceive you as both charming and friendly.

7. Playing Worryingly With Your Hand or Something Around You

You are obviously nervous. It might be that stressful situation you have found yourself in. You've to be comfortable with it if confidence will be nurtured in you. You might be counting your fingers, eating your fingernails or just rubbing your hands together frequently. You also can take some of the items that are within your reach such as a pen and use it. For example, you will take the pen and start biting it or rolling it with your hands.

This boredom and nervousness can be taken care of by being comfortable and happy with yourself.

8. Panicky Playing With Your Hair

This shows your anxiety and nervousness. You are rubbing and flicking your hair every second. Your hair stylist did a great job, you don't have to touch it at every opportunity. Am not saying that every time you touch your hair you're essentially nervous.

The nervousness can be evident if there is too much hair touching, flicking or rubbing that it becomes distracting. You feel the tension and the discomfort is overwhelming.

You can't ace that job interview or presentation if your hair becomes part of the conversation in a negative way.

9. Reduce Touching Your Face

Rubbing your eyes, nose and face at every opportunity you find. The tension and nervousness is killing you inside. If you are in a conversation with anyone, this becomes distracting to the other person.

You won't clearly lay out your message to your audience of choice.

Remember that if you have an itch, please do get rid of it. What is important to note is that excessive face touching signifies nervousness and discomfort.

Take care of that itch but am pretty sure an itch doesn't happen or occur on your face at every single second or minute.

10. Vulnerably Crossing Your Legs When Sitting

You have a closed off body language. You are nervous but also hiding something. You definitely don't want your first impression to be of an insecure person. Self confidence cannot be thriving if this body language is ever present in you. You need to get rid of one, the bad habit or confidence.

The best way to have your legs positioned while sitting is legs apart firmly placed to the ground. You need to feel your feet firmly placed on the ground.

By having your legs apart, it signifies confidence in yourself and your abilities.

Confidence is Key

You should be striving to achieve self confidence and being the best version of yourself. But this can't be a reality if you have bad habits that are clearly derailing your progress.

By taking care of your poor body language, you're not becoming an emotionless human being.

What you have to become aware of are all these emotions like nervousness or anxiety.

When you're aware of them, you make an informed decision that isn't influenced by your emotion. For example, you're nervous. Why are you nervous? Because you're in a crowded street. So don't run away and try to find a less crowded street.

Take care of yourself to achieve the best from yourself.

Do you know of any other tips I haven't mentioned?

Do share in the comment section below.


Behaviors to Build Trust and Attraction | Psychology Today

Bad body language habits. - Forbes

How Your Legs Secretly Tell Others About What You Are ... - Lifehack

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