24 Struggles All INFJs can Understand

The introverted intuitive feeler judger is one of the rarest personalities of all. Myers Briggs raises this personality up like a humanitarian with prophetic powers.

Many Myers Brigg studies ask the question, why are there not more of them when we need them? The shoes are big to fill for the INFJ. Sometimes it can be the most beautiful delicate flower in a dryer than dry desert. Other times, it is the most fierce voice in the room, uncontrollably honest, uncontrollably bent on its intuition to tell people where they fall short. As the peacemaker-kings of the world, the INFJ can often be misunderstood. Weird because there is a short supply of them. Weird because... they're really nice people. The following is a list of struggles, that many INFJs face . . . constantly.

1. INFJs are extremely private. They are constantly building a world inside them and that can take awhile to unleash their secret hidden world till the timing is right, if ever right. Think of the movie Amelie.

2. INFJs have a horrible time revealing their true feelings romantically. They are overly concerned with perfectionism. They have a calm exterior, but underneath are riddled with questions and hope. How many of them move on into relationships is a mystery. But they will be the best person to date that you'll ever find. Because they'll make you cookies. Guide you well into your future. And really care about treating you and themselves right.

3. INFJS can be rock solid calm, then a strange wind happens that carries a dead bird abstract construction. Then they are super sad, and say lots of deep things from nowhere.

4. With their giant imagination and visionary minds, they can have a tough time dealing with daily, practical matters. Not being able to answer the question "What's the point?" can lead to neglecting cleaning, financial responsibilities, etc.

5. INFJS have a tendency to hyper organize certain things and code them. Such as wearing earrings that match shoes, bookshelves ordered by specific genres, or aligning objects for no reason. And yet—they have a general okayness with a few piles. Then there's the general madness when there is too much out of control. And then they have general concern if around people who hyper clean, "Are they OCD?"

6. Perfectionists. The worst thing you can do to an INFJ is set the bar too high. "What do you mean that the only way to get an 'A' is a 98%?"

7. They're super hawks of insight. INFJs struggle all the time on whether to tell people that they're about to go on a path of destruction and terror, or if they should just let people find that out themselves. They have excellent clarity for the future, but they don't want to lose friends with their candor and weirdness.

8. Their extreme insight for the future can cause a sudden feeling of, "Oh, God! The world is going to end!"

9. Insomnia. Splurges of hyperactive thought. An overindulgence of creativity. Alcohol and caffeine are more their nightmare than you could arguably understand. Caffeine causes too much creativity, alcohol causes too much honesty.

10. Mega decisive. It can be tedious to watch people struggle to make decisions, especially on basic things like ordering food, what to wear, etc. This is why an INFJ will get involved to help you make a decision, not just out of kindness, but probably because they can't stand the trivial indecision.

11. Being so involved in other people's lives that they don't understand themselves. They like to council people. They'll spend days with you. They'll spend days studying you. Then all of sudden they realize they've been a chameleon. And they'll seek solitude.

12. Most INFJS struggled with super emotional outbursts as a chlid. Being an INFJ evens out as you get older because you have the joy of language to express yourself. Can you imagine being a kid who is constantly evaluating death, disease, murder, creatures in the closet, missing parents, and did I mention death? INFJ kids are aware of death all too young. They may cry a lot and have a hard time expressing it to adults.

13. They struggle with loving a lot of creative things and not sure what they like the most. INFJs are some of the greatest students. INTPS and INTJS might be the only better students. INFJs struggle over what they like best, so they may double major, get multiple Master's degrees . . . they just really want to explore stuff they like.

14. Even though they are introverted, they are not extremely introverted. They generally have a crazy wide network of friends. They connect well with others due to their intuitive-feeling combination, and they also like to run away once the chameleon effect takes place.

15. If they don't watch their money, it can be eaten away. They are generally altruistic. They want to help. Sacrificing finances isn't going to cause a heartbreak for an INFJ... till it sinks in later that they're broke.

16. Under stress, INFJs can be super confused about priorities. Like, "Hey, you have a final tomorrow. Why are you baking chocolate pumpkin spiced muffins that take three hours to make? And you're using real pumpkin?"

17. When they see a vision of the future, they can be stubborn. And think they're right. And often are. Thus the fews times they are not... they really don't care about others' opinions. They're trying to steer people away from the big black hole of demons that only they can predict. Yikes.

18. The love of harmony runs deep in this personality. Too extreme of situations can cause an INFJ to run and hide in a closet till things are more calm. Other times, they will be the one leading everyone out of the chaos.

19. INFJs can't negotiate well if they think it will harm the friendship. Don't hurt the friendship! Anything but that!

Do you know who is also an INFJ? Billy Crystal.

20. Sometimes people think an INFJ is too nice. An INFJ usually sees themselves as 25% evil due to all the crazy things they come across and all the potential for evil things they could do.

21. If not trained, an INFJ conversation can go like this, "I was going to the store, when I thought about unicorns, so I bought a JENGA." Because somehow JENGA connected to their childhood. Because somehow unicorns connected to that too. Because they thought you somehow knew all that too.

22. INFJs are some of the best writers. They can fiercely write about everything and anything. And they never show anybody what they write out of fear of what people will think of them since their friends will realize how creepily insightful INFJs happen to be.

23. They can become extremely obsessive. An INFJ in love mode is the most obsessed creature on the planet. They may take awhile to warm up to people because they know of the insanity than can brew within. Seventy dormant volcanoes are said to live inside each INFJ.

24. They may understand the conclusion incredibly well, but have a hard time explaining it to others through a cloud of beautiful tangents. Drugs are not your friends, INFJS. You are precious, and that stuff is not going to help you explain big picture stuff.

Jamie Foxx is INFJ certified too. Yes.

Remember to love your INFJ counterparts, they sincerely love you! As much as they think about death, love is constantly on their minds. They are powerful people who just need to get involved in the world to help make it a better place. Unfortunately, it's really hard to stay that focused, especially when they want to take care of everything. Like really, let me take care of it, and you, and the neighbor down the street, and her dog. Till at last they realize that probably isn't the best approach. INFJs need encouragement, a compliment will go a long way with them. So will a joke. Expect a huge laugh. Expect strange shy things most people wouldn't dare do. Expect more laughing. They're also generally very attractive people. Go figure.

More by this Author


SerenityHalo profile image

SerenityHalo 7 days ago from Chicago Author

INFJs definitely want to make a difference for the planet, but each person has their own individual way of how they want to do it.

btw im INFJ 7 days ago

I love this ^-^ I'm barely getting past the struggle of no. 21 xD

so question! another struggle I face is an intense need to do something for this world, to help others and make a difference! I feel like I can't just sit around and watch poverty or injustice take place... is this an INFJ thing or a just me thing??

anyway! I've been reading about the INFJ pesonality a lot lately and I've greatly enjoyed these pages (: I feel much better now that i know why people don't always get me (: and I feel even better knowing there are other great INFJ peeps out there who are as compassionate and kind as I strive to be! stay awesome INFJs!!! ^-^

and thanks for the article!

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SerenityHalo 2 weeks ago from Chicago Author

Keep believing in the good of others!

anonomous 3 weeks ago

I relate to this so much! My while life, I have always thought I wasn't good enough, that no one would like me since I think of myself as weird compared to others. I mean, I like myslef, but that doesn't mean others will. Friends of mine make fun of me for being too nice, and I had just always thought that anyone could be nice if they wanted, they just had to try (I am a strong believer that if you set your mind to something, you can do anything). I always thought people didn't try hard enough; this includes getting good grades, scholorships, or any other goal anyone could ever have. I thought, maybe something is wrong with ME. Learning that I am an INFJ has really helped me learn about myself and about others. The accuracy is uncanny.

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SerenityHalo 5 weeks ago from Chicago Author

If anything, I write about the INFJ crowd to let them know they are not alone.

Jesse 7 weeks ago

This is an interesting article Andrew. It is funny because it almost seems like you wrote this to describe me! Although, it is a relief to know that I am not the only one who feels this way :)

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SerenityHalo 8 weeks ago from Chicago Author


It's amazing what you can find when you dig deep in personality theories.

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SerenityHalo 8 weeks ago from Chicago Author

@Devora W

Glad you have found your tribe. :)

Devora W 8 weeks ago

This is mostly me. I'm not dramatic ever. I am roaring psychic. That helps me cope. The internet is the only place I've ever even heard of more people like me. Now that I'm an old lady I have to admit that it is a shock to my system to find that others are like me and they are much more than one or two. Nice to be among others than an only.

Jen 2 months ago

Absolutely accurate! Weirdly so, that all these almost unexplainable "traits" have been captured, and numbered. Oh, I do love that! :D

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SerenityHalo 2 months ago from Chicago Author

@Anna Elias

Glad to be of service. :)

Anna Elias 2 months ago

Thank you so much for writing this article - made me laugh and cry as I recognised myself and the struggles infjs face ! So insightful and funny x

SerenityHalo profile image

SerenityHalo 2 months ago from Chicago Author

@Grand Old Lady

I love when people get to learn about Myers Briggs for the first time. Especially for INFJ, since they are a rare personality, so it can be eye opening.

Dreamer 3 months ago

I took this test, so I would know why I am diffrent. All three tries, and still INFJ. So, I guess, now I know, that's why things were harder. If you can not really fit in, they (mostly school) will push you out from the community. I never felt as I belong somewhere, as I can recall. Actually, I neved did, and this is not a bad thing.

grand old lady profile image

grand old lady 3 months ago from Philippines

Very informative. First time I heard of INFJs and suspect I may some of the qualities. Great article.

SerenityHalo profile image

SerenityHalo 5 months ago from Chicago Author


I totally understand! I didn't really get why people were calling me weird until I took Myers Briggs and realized I think differently than the majority. But the good thing is, INFJ folk are very smart, and very essential to making things happen. So... take a big sigh and know you are needed and awesome.

crzyfx 5 months ago

If my mother were still alive, I could show her this article so she could understand why I am so "odd". She was always looking for reasons I am so different from my siblings. I am the seventh of nine and they have always called me strange, crazy, odd, two cans short of a six pack, etc. I have always wondered these things myself until I took the test and read the results. It has helped me finally understand myself.

SerenityHalo profile image

SerenityHalo 7 months ago from Chicago Author


Thank you for the comment! Imagination is really the defining trump card for the INFJ... and can also be a source of struggle. I think the more an INFJ knows its brain, the better it can use it.

SerenityHalo profile image

SerenityHalo 9 months ago from Chicago Author


Thank you! I'm glad this hub was helpful for you. Finding out your INFJ can be totally eye opening. The Internet really helps in being able to figure out more about it. I'll do what I can to write more about this personality from time to time since it clicks with the community.

Shepardess 9 months ago

I have just discovered my personality type Is INFJ. I am 43 years old and I always thought something was wrong with me. It is eye-opening and relieving to read this article that I can relate to in every single way. Suddenly I feel like I am part of a secret society made up of some very special people. Thank you for this article and all the insight and has brought to me and others. I cannot wait to learn more about myself as relating to the personality type.

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SerenityHalo 12 months ago from Chicago Author


You strike up some good points. Thank you.

Stebbinski 12 months ago

i agree the article seems like it is written by an INFJ. like other INFJ's their identity as an INFJ is more important than other personality types identity as blank personality (me for example its not as important to be known as an ESTJ as it is for as an INFJ to be known as an INFJ).

I'd like to point out that I identify with a few things on this list and I think many people of other personalities would (to an extent), that these are not all things totally unique to INFJ's. As human beings you experience elements of all these things at different times, it seems like INFJ's are more unique in that they are characterized by them completely, and that there uniqueness is very important to them.

SerenityHalo profile image

SerenityHalo 14 months ago from Chicago Author


She does remind me of a friend who is INFP, come to think of it. I can see her being typed either way. She's so intense and modest in romance, which reminds me of an INFJ. She's also very calculated and pressed for deadlines. She doesn't exhibit a lot of procrastination. She's intuitive about people, but it gets expressed both in an extroverted and introverted function... probably because it's a movie.

James 14 months ago

Great list but Amelie Poulin is INFP.

Amenya 15 months ago

I meant to say THIS IS TRUE for me. Silly keyboard correcting me. Humph. That's an INFJ FOR YOU! Perfection. Teehee.

One year my Mom forgot my birthday. It was ok. She was 80. I was 62. First time for everything. ;)

Amenya 15 months ago

this isn't pretty much true for me. Please no surprises. I had one and I was so overwhelmed by the people there, some I didn't know, I really didn't enjoy myself to the fullest. I felt like I was thrust into a ' movie'. Very weird. And please do not come into my private space!!

Ugh. Every year my daughter asks me what do I want to do or have for my birthday. Huh?? Oh. Mm mm. Let me think and get back with you. Lol

Anna 15 months ago

Wow. This is exactly me.

Tina 16 months ago

This is me!! Although, I try to control my outbursts of frustrations, causing me to have IBS. People think I am bipolar because of my emotions. They are so deep and nobody understands how my brain works...until now. Thank God I found this.

It is so incredibly difficult to try to explain myself, so I don't. Thank you for sharing this.

Rhaegal 16 months ago

i freaked out reading how my brain works.. amazing.

Sean Miller 16 months ago

# 10---SO TRUE! When I had to get my parent's house ready to put on the market, there were about 1000 decisions to be made. My sister, a lawyer, wanted to chat and chat a search and search for JUST the right light fixture, flooring, shade of paint. I was forced to take the bull by the horns and just pick stuff that was neutral, readily available and decent quality and affordable. The house sold in 3 months! WHO KNEW an INFJ could be so practical? AND could get the dirty deed done in the real world? I was surprised myself : )

Cheyenne 16 months ago

"Caffeine causes too much creativity, alcohol causes too much honesty." TOO TRUE. I had a psychic tell me I should stay away from caffeine. lol

Corey 17 months ago

Wow! This was like my autobiography. So, right on. Wonderful and extremely accurate descriptions if INFJ.

david 17 months ago

i remember as a child my teacher who was also a therapist was always so upset because she said she could always figure out her students and had no idea or ever experienced someone like me hahaha this list al ost brings tears to my eyes simce it has only been 2 weeks that i have found out my personality and that it is so accurate. thank you

Lestasia 17 months ago

God, this is sooooo me! This describes me so well it's crazy! I love to read these cuz sometimes I find out some new things! Idk bout the lookin' good thing, but other than that... nailed it!

Marta 17 months ago

It's been a most thorough, incredibly correct and funny exploration of an INFJ, for which, I sincerely thank the author and as an INFJ myself I do, do, do attest to ALL points! Amazing! Hats off!

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Leah Helensdottr 18 months ago from Colorado

I've been learning (with some difficulty) to understand an INFJ friend, and he says your article is startlingly accurate. Thanks for the help! Voted useful, interesting, and up.

Anthony 18 months ago

I'm a guy and I only found out that I was an INFJ a few weeks ago after my sister nagged me into trying out online tests. The author nailed it. The sense of loneliness can be overwhelming at times. It's unfortunate empathy and reciprocation of good vibes aren't as prevalent in society as we'd like them to be. In any case, even though I'm in my early 30s already, I'm glad I found out my quirks are a part of a legit category of personalities! It all somehow makes sense now!

Bonnie 19 months ago

I'm an INFJ, and I am the worst at making decisions O.o

Kntrytnt 19 months ago

As an INFJ of twenty years I can say all of this is true, the degree of relatableness (that's definitely a word now) varies between individuals I think, buy these are all true to a point, ESPECIALLY number sixteen. I'm supposed to be studying for a lab practical, aaaaaaaand, clearly, I am not.

Alya 20 months ago

Slightly disturbing that these are the EXACT struggles I face. And here I was thinking I was always paranoid (as i've been told). Thank you for writing this, nice to know others think this way too.

Mary333 20 months ago

Nailed it. I had the impression someone read my brain. For a INFJ, this is disturbing!

georgia 22 months ago

I'd like to know if the author is an INFJ type. I don't know how you collected all the imformation because from what i know that personality type doesn't like to admit things such as these. Every single one of the points were completely applicable and correct. It is difficult for this type of person because no one truly understands us and as children especially whether they know how to express their feelings or not they can't because no matter how much insight they have adults won't even attempt to understand. And as for their good grades adults will say it's a bad thing that theu work so hard so it's also very bad to set the bar too low for an INFJ. For INFJs it is incredibly hard for them to express their desires because then we would have to express our feelings and we don't want to.

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    Andrea Lawrence (SerenityHalo)201 Followers
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    I'm a midwesterner with a background in writing and media. I write mainly relationship, dating, and heartbreak hubs.

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