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24 Struggles All INFJs Can Understand

I'm a Midwesterner with a background in writing and media. My articles are mainly about relationships, dating, and heartbreak.

INFJ Struggles: 1 to 11

The introverted intuitive feeler judger is one of the rarest personalities of all. Myers Briggs raises this personality up like a humanitarian with prophetic powers.

Many Myers-Brigg studies ask the question, why are there not more of them when we need them? The shoes are big to fill for the INFJ. Sometimes it can be the most beautiful delicate flower in a dryer than dry desert. Other times, it is the most fierce voice in the room, uncontrollably honest, uncontrollably bent on its intuition to tell people where they fall short. As the peacemaker-kings of the world, the INFJ can often be misunderstood. Weird because there is a short supply of them. Weird because . . . they're really nice people. The following is a list of struggles that many INFJs face . . . constantly.

1. INFJs are extremely private. They are constantly building a world inside them, and that can take a while to unleash their secret hidden world till the timing is right, if ever right. Think of the movie Amelie.

2. INFJs have a horrible time revealing their true feelings romantically. They are overly concerned with perfectionism. They have a calm exterior, but underneath are riddled with questions and hope. How many of them move on into relationships is a mystery. But they will be the best person to date that you'll ever find. Because they'll make you cookies. Guide you well into your future. And really care about treating you and themselves right.

3. INFJS can be rock solid calm, then a strange wind happens that carries a dead bird abstract construction. Then they are super sad and say lots of deep things from nowhere.

4. With their giant imagination and visionary minds, they can have a tough time dealing with daily, practical matters. Not being able to answer the question "What's the point?" can lead to neglecting cleaning, financial responsibilities, etc.

5. INFJS have a tendency to hyper-organize certain things and code them. Such as wearing earrings that match shoes, bookshelves ordered by specific genres, or aligning objects for no reason. And yet—they have a general okayness with a few piles. Then there's the general madness when there is too much out of control. And then they have a general concern if around people who hyper clean.

6. Perfectionists. The worst thing you can do to an INFJ is set the bar too high. "What do you mean that the only way to get an 'A' is a 98%?"

7. They're super hawks of insight. INFJs struggle all the time on whether to tell people that they're about to go on a path of destruction and terror or if they should just let people find that out themselves. They have excellent clarity for the future, but they don't want to lose friends with their candor and weirdness.

8. Their extreme insight into the future can cause a sudden feeling of, "Oh, God! The world is going to end!"

9. Insomnia. Splurges of hyperactive thought. An overindulgence of creativity. Alcohol and caffeine are more of their nightmares than you could arguably understand. Caffeine causes too much creativity; alcohol causes too much honesty.

10. Mega decisive. It can be tedious to watch people struggle to make decisions, especially on basic things like ordering food, what to wear, etc. This is why an INFJ will get involved to help you make a decision, not just out of kindness, but probably because they can't stand the trivial indecision.

11. Being so involved in other people's lives that they don't understand themselves. They like to counsel people. They'll spend days with you. They'll spend days studying you. Then all of sudden, they realize they've been a chameleon. And they'll seek solitude.

12 to 19

12. Most INFJS struggled with super emotional outbursts as a child. Being an INFJ evens out as you get older because you have the joy of language to express yourself. Can you imagine being a kid who is constantly evaluating death, disease, murder, creatures in the closet, missing parents, and did I mention death? INFJ kids are aware of death all too young. They may cry a lot and have a hard time expressing it to adults.

13. They struggle with loving a lot of creative things and are not sure what they like the most. INFJs are some of the greatest students. INTPS and INTJS might be the only better students. INFJs struggle over what they like best, so they may double major and get multiple Master's degrees . . . they just really want to explore stuff they like.

14. Even though they are introverted, they are not extremely introverted. They generally have a crazy wide network of friends. They connect well with others due to their intuitive-feeling combination, and they also like to run away once the chameleon effect takes place.

15. If they don't watch their money, it can be eaten away. They are generally altruistic. They want to help. Sacrificing finances isn't going to cause heartbreak for an INFJ . . . till it sinks in later that they're broke.

16. Under stress, INFJs can be super confused about priorities. Like, "Hey, you have a final tomorrow. Why are you baking chocolate pumpkin spiced muffins that take three hours to make? And you're using real pumpkin?"

17. When they see a vision of the future, they can be stubborn. And think they're right. And often are. Thus the few times they are not, they really don't care about others' opinions. They're trying to steer people away from the big black hole of demons that only they can predict. Yikes.

18. The love of harmony runs deep in this personality. Too extreme of situations can cause an INFJ to run and hide in a closet till things are calmer. Other times, they will be the ones leading everyone out of the chaos.

19. INFJs can't negotiate well if they think it will harm the friendship. Don't hurt the friendship! Anything but that!

Do you know who is also an INFJ? Billy Crystal.

20 to 24

20. Sometimes, people think an INFJ is too nice. An INFJ usually sees themselves as 25% evil due to all the crazy things they come across and all the potential for evil things they could do.

21. If not trained, an INFJ conversation can go like this, "I was going to the store when I thought about unicorns, so I bought a JENGA." Because somehow, JENGA connected to their childhood. Because somehow unicorns connected to that too. Because they thought you somehow knew all that too.

22. INFJs are some of the best writers. They can fiercely write about everything and anything. And they never show anybody what they write out of fear of what people will think of them since their friends will realize how creepily insightful INFJs happen to be.

23. They can become extremely obsessive. An INFJ in love mode is the most obsessed creature on the planet. They may take a while to warm up to people because they know of the insanity than can brew within. Seventy dormant volcanoes are said to live inside each INFJ.

24. They may understand the conclusion incredibly well but have a hard time explaining it to others through a cloud of beautiful tangents. Drugs are not your friends, INFJS. You are precious, and that stuff is not going to help you explain big-picture stuff.

Jamie Foxx is INFJ certified too. Yes.

Final Thoughts

Remember to love your INFJ counterparts; they sincerely love you! As much as they think about death, love is constantly on their minds. They are powerful people who just need to get involved in the world to help make it a better place. Unfortunately, it's really hard to stay that focused, especially when they want to take care of everything. Like really, let me take care of it, and you, and the neighbor down the street, and her dog. Till at last they realize that probably isn't the best approach. INFJs need encouragement; a compliment will go a long way with them. So will a joke. Expect a huge laugh. Expect strange, shy things most people wouldn't dare do. Expect more laughing. They're also generally very attractive people. Go figure.

© 2014 Andrea Lawrence


Juliet on August 26, 2020:

This is just a sum up of my earlier young days,I never really understood myself at all. Very true of an infj.

Chizzy on July 10, 2020:

89% me!

Simon on November 14, 2019:

Fellow INFJ, absolutely awesome article and great summing up of an INFJ.

Kelly on October 16, 2019:

Lord. The laughter!!!

Another deeply aring INFJ on September 12, 2019:

Thank each of you for sharing!

Introverted poet on September 05, 2019:

Here I am reading about myself and the personality type of a guy who I’m desperately in love with however, it breaks my heart that he may never find out that I even have such feelings for him.

I have two papers to write, yet because of him, I’m here because those damn volcanoes are erupting... Obsessing over him is the only way for me to fully stop the eruptions... oops.

But seriously though, I love all of you INFJs out there!! We make the world a better place. If you’re going through a rough patch or hard time right now just know that it’ll get better. Know that you’ll get over it, eventually becoming a stronger and more unique individual with skills that people would kill for.

I wrote that last paragraph for you but also for myself because it gets lonely sometimes... mighty lonely so if you feel that way, you’re not alone haha.

Love will come to you, don’t force it!!

That was all written from the intense emotions that I feel for him; sadly, he probably doesn’t feel the same...

- Just trying to become a more mature INFJ

p.s. Have a good day/night to whoever reads this! :p

Andrea Lawrence on May 15, 2019:


Murat on May 06, 2019:

Very nice wording put, a special place reserved in my heart for the pumpkin muffin; saved seperately for hard times to spare a nice laugh. Thanks indeed.

Lore on May 01, 2019:

Spot on with the chocolate pumpkin spiced muffins. I laughed aloud, literally. Here I am reading about INFJs in the middle of the night with a million things awaiting me tomorrow....

JC on April 12, 2019:

The "going to the store, thought of unicorns, then bought a JENGA" . . . now, THAT, that was some funny s#*%. My friends say I give them whiplash with the sudden, seemingly random conclusions I make during conversation. Or, sitting in a friend's living room, I'd get all non sequitor on him, saying, "do you think trees grieve their lost leaves? Or broken branches? Do they feel that pain? And what if we TAKE a branch from the tree, is that like giving the tree ghost limb syndrome and it would forever long for that missing piece? And should we then try to ask forgiveness for taking that branch? Leave a little fertilizer at their base, or put twinkle lights around their trunk. *gasp* Wait. A. Minute. Do you think THAT is the reason people REALLY put twinkly lights on their trees? Atonement? So, if that is the case, could it be argued that Christmas tree lights aren't really put in the tree to celebrate a holiday but are really a gesture of regret and apology for taking that tree's life? But, what about plastic trees? Do you think living trees are thanking me for buying that plastic tree or reviling me because I'm NOT getting a live tree, like I'm rejecting the living tree somehow? I'd hate to cause that kind of rejection. It hurts, you know, feeling unwanted. So, to answer your question - yes, I expect to observe the Veteran's Day parade this year."

Because - Veteran's Day parade means veterans means some may have prosthetics means some may have lost a limb means they wouldn't be able to climb a tree again means trees. And trees have limbs.

Poster Child on March 30, 2019:

Hello. I think I am an INFJ female..I know the female part is right. Not sure about the other. I would love to find a friend that is as interested in being certain of their type and loving all things INFJ as I am. Hello, this is me... Andrea, I see you. You posted 3 days ago. Let's connect through the interwebs.

Andrea Marchant klein on March 26, 2019:

Does another INFJ want to know how this guy went to this conclution? Cause this is like a picture of me

Gugu Charlotte Mtshali on October 22, 2018:

Being an INFJ, my mind is constantly thinking of topics interrelating to each other, and some not. My mind is always busy solving problems, contemplating solutions for the universe, thinking of ways I can best make use of each and every resource that the government affords humanity, and feel guilty for missed opportunities, procrastination etc. Being a perfectionist is not easy because I tend to hold everyone to extremely high standards, and myself to unreasonably high standards and expect myself to be a superman of some sort. We spend most of our time quiet, but the moment we feel comfortable we manage to open up and that feels really good. The problem is that after we have opened up to someone, when they are no longer there we feel miserable for opening up in the first place. We feel like the person is going to use whatever thing we talked about against us. We basically have zero trust in anyone, and that sucks, right? We may smile at you, go all out for you, and enjoy your company, but that does not translate into us trusting you. We love deeper than we may appear to. We worry when someone is not in a good mood. We want to come up with solutions so that everyone is happy. Frustration is caused by us wanting to make an easy task to be rather complicated because we want to do a 100% always, and we hate shortcuts. In love, we hate sharing. We will quietly leave a person who simply does not want to put us first because we know our worth, and unlike the astrological sign Leo, we will not try to rub it on your face that we deserve better. We simply disappear and make you live your life without us in it. Parents may betray us when we are young, and those scars hurt for life. Some INFJ's end up being parents to dogs and cats because children can be really stressful to deal with,(especially the outgoing types who seek attention).

Susan on September 25, 2018:

I just found out that I am an INFJ. I've always felt I was different and the internal struggles for understanding have driven me nuts! I finally started pouring through article after article, website after website to find the answers to finally identify why I have these internal struggles and your article perfectly describes my personality and struggles. I am married to a wonderful man but I am constantly having crushes on other men. I create an inner world of my own that I retreat to pertaining to my current crush. It's maddening because I know this is not realistic and impose my inner world and the scenarios I've created within that inner world onto my outer world which only leads to disappointment most times. The majority of the time I keep my inner world inside and that really sucks because no one is aware of my struggles. I don't like feeling this way and am constantly trying to disconnect from this inner world. Any advise on a healthy balance?

Ava on September 21, 2018:

Really related to number 12. I struggled a lot as a child and felt so misunderstood, the worst part was the fact that i couldn't tell anyone.

Quoter on August 27, 2018:

I'm a pure INFJ, no show off. I really really loge my personality. Thank you for giving me the feeling that at least one person understands me!

Adrianna on August 22, 2018:

I always thought of myself as weird and really different. Whenever I'm outside I'm constantly thinking how the most simple things work and wonder the science behind it.

Vits me on August 21, 2018:

Haha! That volcano thing made me laugh.. I JUST discovered a crush on a boy today and I'm already trying to talk myself out of doing anything creepily bold.

Anonymous on August 04, 2018:

That is true, the volcano part made me laugh. I blow like lava gaskets over everything. Even if you told me a joke. I feel bad afterwards when i realize they weren't trying to pick on me or judge me.

apple on July 26, 2018:

this is so true

Pineapple on July 04, 2018:

The struggle is so real .... Smdh this is me 100%. We are misunderstood all the time and ppl think I have a personality disorder but really it’s not my fault I see the world in multiple lenses lol ... I can’t help it. It’s a beauty and a curse.

Kaylee on April 24, 2018:

Haven't been having a good week, but I saw this and decided to read it. It made me laugh because of how true so much of it is, thank you so much for writing it! I'll be looking to reading more of your articles. I hope you love yourself too!

Andrea Lawrence (author) on April 12, 2018:

You're all you've got -- so love yourself the best you can!

maryam on April 10, 2018:

i can totally relate, but i dont really like my personality as much, we are too sensitive an too thoughtful, and tooo contradictory !!

Andrea Lawrence (author) on April 05, 2018:

Glad you love it. Glad it's accurate enough for you. ;)

Wild INFJ appeared! on April 04, 2018:

I love reading this. I'm INFJ as long as I remember and I can say thay this article I can rely on the most. Well, it's not that accurate. I give this an 8/10 but back to my first sentence, I LOVE IT! XD

Irene on March 29, 2018:

Thanks. You made me cry. I'm an INFJ and it's been hard for me to communicate with everyone. Especially my family and friends. They don't really try to know personality types and I'm getting tired of trying to explain myself. It's so hard.

Trisha on February 16, 2018:

I am an INFJ. But I feel confused as because my mind seems to believe that I am different all the time. I'm not very quiet, nor too talkative either. I just talk when I feel like people will misunderstand my silence as my anger. Also I try to make people understand about my feelings, which makes me come across as an open book. I've taken the Meyers Briggs personality test 5 times now and each time the answer is the same. I'm really confused if I am actually an INFJ or if my mind is manipulating me to give such answers which get the result INFJ! Please help.

Eva on November 06, 2017:

Wow! Reading this brought tears to my eyes. It is so on point to who I am... EVERYTHING is accurate to who I am. Thank you.

Andrea Lawrence (author) on September 26, 2017:

INFJ and ENFP are similar so this is probably why. The NF family should all feel similar to you. INFJ might feel like how you feel in the inside. These two often end up dating.

Foxcheetah on September 25, 2017:

I know I'm an ENFP... but this sounds strangely accurate. To be honest, it's probably because my edgy teenage mind wants to believe it's "different," and thus tries to suck up every classification that says it's different, but powerful and nice and all that stuff. *Sigh,* I'm pretty messed up.

Andrea Lawrence (author) on September 16, 2017:

Excellent! Always like to hear that things are accurate.

GT on August 20, 2017:

Thx for a insight into my life

Andrea Lawrence (author) on August 02, 2017:

Excellent! Always like to hear that.

Jenn on July 31, 2017:

Spot on. ;)

Chris Q RN on July 05, 2017:

Thank you for your insightful post. Growing up gay, a guy, and an iNFJ....well the world was a confusing place. I felt like I was the only one that could see everything in full colour and the rest of the world was colour blind. We all spoke the same language but I just couldn't describe my perceptions and outlook in a way that anyone understood, so I retreated inwards. I created worlds in my mind where I would escape, rich beautiful worlds that I never shared with anyone.

you are right on when it comes to alcohol and iNFjs. I wrote the following at a New Years eve party where in a crowded room I felt utterly alone yet overwhelmed by all the emotional noise all at once. Paradoxes are not fun.

Echos of a dream I once had

Caress my soul as false memories of a life unlived cloud my vision at this changing of the year

Who was this person I meant to be?

I remember him... I see him so clearly. Did any part of my intended creation become even a minor part of my eventual bedrock.

Why do we become what we are instead of what we intended ? Is time or failure the enemy to blame? Or does the discourse of destiny undo even our greatest wants?

Alone in a crowd, at peace in solitude. What a conundrum, paradox that binds the soul of the one aching to be heard yet fears the sounds of his own voice.

I don't remember writing this and found it in the notes app on my Iphone a week later.


Andrea Lawrence (author) on May 11, 2017:

This may have been misconstrued, but a lot of INFJ types have a complex relationship with OCD. Thank you for your thoughts!

FL on May 10, 2017:

Hey, I want to say something about number 5 that OCD is neither an adjective nor something to trivialise.

You don't want to use the term like "She is OCD" as one can't not become the disorder and it can offend people who actually suffer from it.

OCD is not an alternative term for quirky, neat, organised etc. It can really ruin your life. I may sound triggered but I'm also INFJ (who struggles with obsessive compulsive disorder) and I know what you mean by INFJs prefer to be in order all the time. Other than that, great article!

Forest on May 06, 2017:

I really love how you interpret INFJ here. So refreshing and hit the mark. Would love to ask is there any possibilty for an INFJs having some distortion or change of character over time and circumstances, say, into the most similar character like INFP? And do we have other choices than 'to be founded', because most of us just (for God's sake) love to hide? I think this article really a life-saver to keep our sanity straight. Still, it doesn't change the fact that nobody will never understand an INFJ. I'm almost 30, and still struggle to 'let go' of the idea of being understood. To see there are others who feel the same is somewhat comforting. So thank you :)

Andrea Lawrence (author) on April 22, 2017:

Glad it resonated with you!

Sammuel Moody on April 21, 2017:

Love this post!! Every single one of these post pretty much fits me to a tee! Great read!

Andrea Lawrence (author) on April 08, 2017:

It is most important for the smile to come from within.

Jolene Marais on April 07, 2017:

Loved reading this post..Was kind of funny and it made me smile.INFJ's like to smile..They are always smiling sometimes the smile is within...

Andrea Lawrence (author) on January 23, 2017:

I love giving people insight that they feel is a bonus.

Andrea Lawrence (author) on January 23, 2017:

Oh my word. That is a perfect example of INFJ intuition. Especially under stress those metaphors start pounding out like there's no Christmas.

Jordin on January 22, 2017:

SO TRUE. I'm an INFJ, and totally relate to many of these points.

I remember a time when my husband asked how I was feeling because I had been quiet.

The only way I could describe it to him was I felt like I was in the jungle at dusk with a yellow haze all around me in this like, cemetery thing with a bunch of standing statues of past warriors. And I was sitting against one of the statues. And....

By the time I was done explaining, he looked like his head was about to explode trying to understand me.

Classic INFJ situation.

Lucy on January 22, 2017:

Fantastic post. Thoroughly enjoyed your insights and thoughts. Has brought some new understandings as a bonus :)

Thank you

Valene from Missouri on January 17, 2017:

Very interesting read! I am an INFP, but I can relate to a lot of this anyway. My sister always seemed to be INFJ growing up, but she recently took the test again and came up wonder we haven't been as close as when we were kids!

Andrea Lawrence (author) on November 29, 2016:

An INFJ when it comes to food would look at it and say, this is what I feel I want. They would feel it out to see where it goes. Ask the body what it wants and think about how that's going to feel later. An INFJ is at their best when they are looking for highest wisdom and it will best serve a situation. Also, in a large group, I don't think an INFJ would want to stare at a menu and keep everyone behind. They can be very egalitarian. If you have a low "J" you might not be as decisive, but if it becomes too indecisive... you could actually be a P and something much different. Indecision I believe with this one mostly comes from things not being clear when it comes to how things feel, and since it's an information seeking personality, it will need to keep gathering information until it feels satisfied. You never want to manipulate people, especially if it isn't for their good. This will create bad karma. Now, this last part is super INFJ -- the ultimate struggle -- whether you should let someone suffer the consequences they are about to face or help them avoid it when you have the intuition and reasoning to know the choice they are trying to make doesn't work... and is bad for them. This is very hard because it's awkward to tell people to go a different direction. You don't have to learn from consequences -- experience learning is not the only type of learning. I usually try to help people away from negative outcomes. I hope this is helpful.

Chandler on November 27, 2016:

I'm an INFJ, and most of your points are spot on, but I do believe some of them are more individual than INFJ, specifically the one about being super decisive. While there are certain things that I'm very firm on when making the decision, to the point that I'm employed to help a business choose labels and such, but when it comes to pointless things such as food or activities, I tend to go with what others indicate to be acceptable. For instance, jasmine plumeria has a certain scent and so should not have a bright label but rather a deep purple one that will give customers the same feeling as the scent, I wear a burgandy shirt and tweed suit with a bowtie to indicate that I am old fashioned, with those I can see the results of my choice before it is made. However, it is much more difficult to see the potential implications of choosing between eating spagetti or linguine, a burger or hot dog, etc. Though, that could simply be that I was raised to focus on others to the point that I don't have much of an identity.

I found it interesting that you picked up on INFJs seeing ourselves as at least partly evil. Many don't realize it about us. At times I've found myself unintentionally manipulating others, and I sometimes wonder if it's actually intentional and this monster laying dormant in me will awaken one day. Plus, there are always bad results of every choice, but while most others are unaware of this, I am not. I make choices knowing the impact, e.g. letting someone suffer the consequences of their actions but have a higher chance of learning or take the consequences myself and they have a higher chance of repeating, and so I am the cause of whichever negative I choose.

I'm sorry this is so long, I have a hard time shaving down the word count which I've already done a bit.

Andrea Lawrence (author) on November 23, 2016:

Thank you! Glad it was helpful.

Roxane on November 22, 2016:

Those are incredibly true. As an infj I laughed so much with your article. Good job!

Andrea Lawrence (author) on October 28, 2016:

Thank you for the positive feedback!

Andrea Lawrence (author) on October 28, 2016:

Most definitely! Glad to help. :)

J on October 27, 2016:

Very well researched and written. I like your sense of humor as well. This is the first article I've read about those of us who have typed as INFJ's which talks about awareness of death and the importance of love. I had a near death experience at 7, and I recall how I changed as a result of it, and the effect it had on others, and perhaps that experience is a large part of why I tested as an INFJ. At any rate MBTI and articles like this are helpful to people like us. Thankyou for the positive affirmations!

Eli on October 25, 2016:

I am an INFJ, and i relate to alot of these things, also i love learning about personality, it has always interested me. Thank you for making this wonderful article

Andrea Lawrence (author) on October 16, 2016:

INFJs definitely want to make a difference for the planet, but each person has their own individual way of how they want to do it.

btw im INFJ on October 16, 2016:

I love this ^-^ I'm barely getting past the struggle of no. 21 xD

so question! another struggle I face is an intense need to do something for this world, to help others and make a difference! I feel like I can't just sit around and watch poverty or injustice take place... is this an INFJ thing or a just me thing??

anyway! I've been reading about the INFJ pesonality a lot lately and I've greatly enjoyed these pages (: I feel much better now that i know why people don't always get me (: and I feel even better knowing there are other great INFJ peeps out there who are as compassionate and kind as I strive to be! stay awesome INFJs!!! ^-^

and thanks for the article!

Andrea Lawrence (author) on October 04, 2016:

Keep believing in the good of others!

anonomous on October 02, 2016:

I relate to this so much! My while life, I have always thought I wasn't good enough, that no one would like me since I think of myself as weird compared to others. I mean, I like myslef, but that doesn't mean others will. Friends of mine make fun of me for being too nice, and I had just always thought that anyone could be nice if they wanted, they just had to try (I am a strong believer that if you set your mind to something, you can do anything). I always thought people didn't try hard enough; this includes getting good grades, scholorships, or any other goal anyone could ever have. I thought, maybe something is wrong with ME. Learning that I am an INFJ has really helped me learn about myself and about others. The accuracy is uncanny.

Andrea Lawrence (author) on September 18, 2016:

If anything, I write about the INFJ crowd to let them know they are not alone.

Jesse on September 02, 2016:

This is an interesting article Andrew. It is funny because it almost seems like you wrote this to describe me! Although, it is a relief to know that I am not the only one who feels this way :)

Andrea Lawrence (author) on August 28, 2016:


It's amazing what you can find when you dig deep in personality theories.

Andrea Lawrence (author) on August 28, 2016:

@Devora W

Glad you have found your tribe. :)

Devora W on August 27, 2016:

This is mostly me. I'm not dramatic ever. I am roaring psychic. That helps me cope. The internet is the only place I've ever even heard of more people like me. Now that I'm an old lady I have to admit that it is a shock to my system to find that others are like me and they are much more than one or two. Nice to be among others than an only.

Jen on August 24, 2016:

Absolutely accurate! Weirdly so, that all these almost unexplainable "traits" have been captured, and numbered. Oh, I do love that! :D

Andrea Lawrence (author) on August 14, 2016:

@Anna Elias

Glad to be of service. :)

Anna Elias on August 14, 2016:

Thank you so much for writing this article - made me laugh and cry as I recognised myself and the struggles infjs face ! So insightful and funny x

Andrea Lawrence (author) on August 01, 2016:

@Grand Old Lady

I love when people get to learn about Myers Briggs for the first time. Especially for INFJ, since they are a rare personality, so it can be eye opening.

Dreamer on July 17, 2016:

I took this test, so I would know why I am diffrent. All three tries, and still INFJ. So, I guess, now I know, that's why things were harder. If you can not really fit in, they (mostly school) will push you out from the community. I never felt as I belong somewhere, as I can recall. Actually, I neved did, and this is not a bad thing.

Mona Sabalones Gonzalez from Philippines on July 13, 2016:

Very informative. First time I heard of INFJs and suspect I may some of the qualities. Great article.

Andrea Lawrence (author) on May 07, 2016:


I totally understand! I didn't really get why people were calling me weird until I took Myers Briggs and realized I think differently than the majority. But the good thing is, INFJ folk are very smart, and very essential to making things happen. So... take a big sigh and know you are needed and awesome.

crzyfx on May 07, 2016:

If my mother were still alive, I could show her this article so she could understand why I am so "odd". She was always looking for reasons I am so different from my siblings. I am the seventh of nine and they have always called me strange, crazy, odd, two cans short of a six pack, etc. I have always wondered these things myself until I took the test and read the results. It has helped me finally understand myself.

Andrea Lawrence (author) on March 19, 2016:


Thank you for the comment! Imagination is really the defining trump card for the INFJ... and can also be a source of struggle. I think the more an INFJ knows its brain, the better it can use it.

Andrea Lawrence (author) on January 17, 2016:


Thank you! I'm glad this hub was helpful for you. Finding out your INFJ can be totally eye opening. The Internet really helps in being able to figure out more about it. I'll do what I can to write more about this personality from time to time since it clicks with the community.

Shepardess on January 17, 2016:

I have just discovered my personality type Is INFJ. I am 43 years old and I always thought something was wrong with me. It is eye-opening and relieving to read this article that I can relate to in every single way. Suddenly I feel like I am part of a secret society made up of some very special people. Thank you for this article and all the insight and has brought to me and others. I cannot wait to learn more about myself as relating to the personality type.

Andrea Lawrence (author) on October 10, 2015:


You strike up some good points. Thank you.

Stebbinski on October 10, 2015:

i agree the article seems like it is written by an INFJ. like other INFJ's their identity as an INFJ is more important than other personality types identity as blank personality (me for example its not as important to be known as an ESTJ as it is for as an INFJ to be known as an INFJ).

I'd like to point out that I identify with a few things on this list and I think many people of other personalities would (to an extent), that these are not all things totally unique to INFJ's. As human beings you experience elements of all these things at different times, it seems like INFJ's are more unique in that they are characterized by them completely, and that there uniqueness is very important to them.

Andrea Lawrence (author) on August 17, 2015:


She does remind me of a friend who is INFP, come to think of it. I can see her being typed either way. She's so intense and modest in romance, which reminds me of an INFJ. She's also very calculated and pressed for deadlines. She doesn't exhibit a lot of procrastination. She's intuitive about people, but it gets expressed both in an extroverted and introverted function... probably because it's a movie.

James on August 17, 2015:

Great list but Amelie Poulin is INFP.

Amenya on July 11, 2015:

I meant to say THIS IS TRUE for me. Silly keyboard correcting me. Humph. That's an INFJ FOR YOU! Perfection. Teehee.

One year my Mom forgot my birthday. It was ok. She was 80. I was 62. First time for everything. ;)

Amenya on July 11, 2015:

this isn't pretty much true for me. Please no surprises. I had one and I was so overwhelmed by the people there, some I didn't know, I really didn't enjoy myself to the fullest. I felt like I was thrust into a ' movie'. Very weird. And please do not come into my private space!!

Ugh. Every year my daughter asks me what do I want to do or have for my birthday. Huh?? Oh. Mm mm. Let me think and get back with you. Lol

Anna on July 10, 2015:

Wow. This is exactly me.

Tina on June 22, 2015:

This is me!! Although, I try to control my outbursts of frustrations, causing me to have IBS. People think I am bipolar because of my emotions. They are so deep and nobody understands how my brain works...until now. Thank God I found this.

It is so incredibly difficult to try to explain myself, so I don't. Thank you for sharing this.

Rhaegal on June 08, 2015:

i freaked out reading how my brain works.. amazing.

Sean Miller on June 06, 2015:

# 10---SO TRUE! When I had to get my parent's house ready to put on the market, there were about 1000 decisions to be made. My sister, a lawyer, wanted to chat and chat a search and search for JUST the right light fixture, flooring, shade of paint. I was forced to take the bull by the horns and just pick stuff that was neutral, readily available and decent quality and affordable. The house sold in 3 months! WHO KNEW an INFJ could be so practical? AND could get the dirty deed done in the real world? I was surprised myself : )

Cheyenne on June 02, 2015:

"Caffeine causes too much creativity, alcohol causes too much honesty." TOO TRUE. I had a psychic tell me I should stay away from caffeine. lol

Corey on June 01, 2015:

Wow! This was like my autobiography. So, right on. Wonderful and extremely accurate descriptions if INFJ.

david on May 20, 2015:

i remember as a child my teacher who was also a therapist was always so upset because she said she could always figure out her students and had no idea or ever experienced someone like me hahaha this list al ost brings tears to my eyes simce it has only been 2 weeks that i have found out my personality and that it is so accurate. thank you

Lestasia on May 18, 2015:

God, this is sooooo me! This describes me so well it's crazy! I love to read these cuz sometimes I find out some new things! Idk bout the lookin' good thing, but other than that... nailed it!

Marta on May 16, 2015:

It's been a most thorough, incredibly correct and funny exploration of an INFJ, for which, I sincerely thank the author and as an INFJ myself I do, do, do attest to ALL points! Amazing! Hats off!

Leah Helensdottr from Colorado on April 19, 2015:

I've been learning (with some difficulty) to understand an INFJ friend, and he says your article is startlingly accurate. Thanks for the help! Voted useful, interesting, and up.

Anthony on April 08, 2015:

I'm a guy and I only found out that I was an INFJ a few weeks ago after my sister nagged me into trying out online tests. The author nailed it. The sense of loneliness can be overwhelming at times. It's unfortunate empathy and reciprocation of good vibes aren't as prevalent in society as we'd like them to be. In any case, even though I'm in my early 30s already, I'm glad I found out my quirks are a part of a legit category of personalities! It all somehow makes sense now!

Bonnie on March 30, 2015:

I'm an INFJ, and I am the worst at making decisions O.o

Kntrytnt on March 11, 2015:

As an INFJ of twenty years I can say all of this is true, the degree of relatableness (that's definitely a word now) varies between individuals I think, buy these are all true to a point, ESPECIALLY number sixteen. I'm supposed to be studying for a lab practical, aaaaaaaand, clearly, I am not.

Alya on February 12, 2015:

Slightly disturbing that these are the EXACT struggles I face. And here I was thinking I was always paranoid (as i've been told). Thank you for writing this, nice to know others think this way too.

Mary333 on February 07, 2015:

Nailed it. I had the impression someone read my brain. For a INFJ, this is disturbing!

georgia on December 14, 2014:

I'd like to know if the author is an INFJ type. I don't know how you collected all the imformation because from what i know that personality type doesn't like to admit things such as these. Every single one of the points were completely applicable and correct. It is difficult for this type of person because no one truly understands us and as children especially whether they know how to express their feelings or not they can't because no matter how much insight they have adults won't even attempt to understand. And as for their good grades adults will say it's a bad thing that theu work so hard so it's also very bad to set the bar too low for an INFJ. For INFJs it is incredibly hard for them to express their desires because then we would have to express our feelings and we don't want to.