35 Problems and Struggles All INTJs Face
The INTJ is one of the rarest types in the personality kingdom. We probably need more of them, though, since they are generally among the smartest and most intuitive people. This personality type is a much-needed part of your reality: INTJs can see things that the rest of us don't quite have the jewels to see.
Struggles of the INTJ
- INTJs have an overwhelming need to be by themselves. They would be happy on an island where they could think all day, uninterrupted: studying all they want, not being bothered, they could finally focus on their favorite thoughts.
- By the way, that island would always be tidy and neatly organized, and the INTJ would go to bed at a reasonable hour every night.
- An INTJ could possibly live happily on an island populated with all the other Myers-Briggs personalities... as long as interaction was minimal!
- An INTJ doesn't understand why other people can't immediately see the most logical solution to the problem at hand.
- They will always try to communicate their logical prowess, but those explanations can be a bit blunt if they're not careful.
- INTJs verbally share the wealth of their logical brains... but only complain and experience their emotions inside their heads.
- They have trouble getting into serious relationships until they're older. Many choose an independent and hermetic life for years.
- These folks love to date other INTJs, but they may also pair up with someone who has more emotional reasoning as their primary or secondary function. An INTP may get lost in the whirlwind of dating an ENFP, but that P quality can really egg an INTJ on. An ENTP might be a better match and actually, I think an ENTJ makes the most sense for a partner.
- An INTJ will become obsessive about details, like getting stuck on numbers, buttons, rows and columns, particular sounds, or repeating patterns. Observing an INTJ getting stuck on the small details can be like watching a car revving in a neutral gear.
- They know how to be a protector of people... and also how to bite into a person's ego, stupidities, and deepest fears.
- INTJs have long lists of things that annoy them.
- They have devised many unique internal systems for themselves linguistically, mathematically, and scientifically.
- If they do humanitarian work, it's likely spurred by moral ideas rather than love. Why is this an issue? They have a difficult time connecting with people and can get stuck inside their ideas of people rather than the actual flesh and blood.
- They can be a bit too systematic, to the point where creativity is lost.
- They might not be in touch with their body, but think they are.
- They may feel a strong need to only be with like-minded people.
- They may feel left out in group settings but unable to fully express why. They may want to be left out.
- They're not sure how to express their feelings because they're abstract.
- They may sometimes do something that completely breaks from their character. (Wait a minute... you can act? You write poetry? You made this painting?) They have unexpected sides, like when my INTJ friend suddenly decided to dress up like a mountain. Why?
- They can be so strategy-minded that feelings get hurt. They don't mean to hurt others, they're just sometimes extremely curt.
- They imagine themselves to be the kings of their domains, but they may come off more like chancellors or wizard-hermits.
- They may struggle with crowd dynamics.
- They have a love for ideas that can often be difficult to match. They can get lost in their heads.
- INTJs generally deal with massive amounts of introspection and self-talk.
- I have never seen someone cook in a more strange way than an INTJ. I'm not sure how that brain is processing how foods come together, but dumping a lot of paprika is usually not the best way to go. They have mad-scientist-like minds.
- They want people to make their own decisions, but sometimes they don't like or disagree with the decisions others make.
- They may suddenly disengage from group activities to go on solitary walks.
- They have strange interests in things that others don't quite understand or connect with. Niche interests, like collecting stamps or learning spells from ancient Norwegian books.
- They have a need to conquer something.... but, lord have mercy, what? They feel a large, vague, diffuse burden of responsibility.
- They may suddenly start cleaning things, and it doesn't even matter if they're dirty or not... like the baseboards or behind the TV. They have peculiar interests in cleaning, let's put it that way.
- They tend to respond to conflict with logic and reason rather than emotion.
- They don't really care what other people think that much, because they honestly think they're right.
- They are able to leave a relationship which should be ended, although they may dwell on it in their minds for awhile afterwards.
- Perfection can be their bane. They're constantly looking for it. Obsessed, I would say. But they could sacrifice too much for it—like their time, relationships, and finances.
- They have no patience with inefficiency or confusion.
Which Myers-Briggs Types Are Considered the Most Intelligent?
INTPs top the IQ charts. They're machines for intellectual problem-solving, but their emotional intelligence is weaker and interpersonal difficulty often trips them up.
The INTJ usually scores right after INTP in IQ. The INTJ is super-intelligent but doesn't like to veer from their path as much as an INTP does.
Cerebral vs. Emotional Intelligence
INTJs are less spontaneous, more grounded, and they do have a better handle on their emotions... sort of. Whether they want to admit it or not, Introverted Feeling (Fi) isn't exactly their forte. They've most likely focused so much on developing Introverted Intuition (Ni) and Extraverted Thinking (Te) that their Fi is pushed further to the back of their mind.
The INTJ's Hidden Emotions
INTJs can erupt with unexpected emotion: No one else had any clue it was coming, but the INTJ felt it the entire time. This is why INTJs make great villains—their emotions are often held back, but when they finally escape, there can be very dark, angry, and depressing repercussions.
Are INTJs Evil?
Still, they get a bad rap and are often represented as bad guys, probably because they are thinking rather than feeling. Do a Google search on INTJ villains and a number of fictitious examples will pop up, like Draco Malfoy, Emperor Palpatine, Magneto, Mr. Burns, or Jake's dad from Adventure Time.
How Do INTJ Compare to Other Types?
The INTP and INFJ are probably the most similar to the INTJ because these three types are often considered the most intelligent in the Myers-Briggs spectrum.
How Do INTJ and INTP Compare?
An INTP is free-flowing in thought, somewhat indecisive, and might sometimes lack order. The INTJ is like the INTP, but sharper and more focused. The INTJ also isn't as spontaneous as the INTP.
How Do INFJ and INTP Compare?
An INFJ will sacrifice logic for the abstract, is feeling-oriented, and is humanity-driven to the core. The INTJ are like the INFJ except INTJs know when to hit the "eject" button rather than make the sacrifices INFJ folk find so appealing (and also get wrecked over).
A Table of Myers-Briggs Types
Thinkers / Rationals
Champions / Idealists
Caretakers / Artisans
Guardians / Strategy Masters
How to Be a Good Friend or Partner to an INTJ
- Keep things clean. Dirty dishes? Do them.
- Be concise. Don't dive into the depths for no good reason.
- It's normal if they go on long walks and bike rides. Don't harass them about this too much or they'll withdraw even more.
- Play to their interests and hobbies. It's a great way to bond with them.
- Suppress or hide your ignorances and stupidities, if you can.
- Tell them you appreciate them.
- Keep things somewhat logical and orderly.
- Trust them when you can... don't be afraid to not trust them, either.
- Be honest. Don't lie. Dishonesty truly confuses them.
- Let them solve problems.
- Do what you can to help them bring out their emotions because for many INTJs, they don't have feelings down to a fine art just yet.
- They are fans of acts of service. Do something good. Help them to believe in humanity again.
- Let them be a villain for a little while. It might be more of a fantasy of theirs than you think.
- Plan ahead. Going on a date? Make plans. Impress them with how you can make plans.
- Let them lead.