45 Struggles ENFJs Experience

Updated on December 7, 2017
SerenityHalo profile image

Andrea loves to write about the zodiac and research astrological love compatibility. She's been an online writer for over five years.

45 Struggles of the ENFJ

Known as the "giver," the ENFJ is one of the most caring personalities in the Myers–Briggs personality scale. The four letters stand for extraversion (E), intuition (N), feeling (F), and judgment (J). People with this personality tend to have extraverted feelings, introverted intuition, extroverted sensing, and introverted thinking. They're known for their ability to comfort people, make friends, and share wisdom.

Fun Fact: Two fictional characters who are ENFJs are Aeris Gainsborough (from the "Final Fantasy" games) and Dumbledore (from the Harry Potter series).

You know you're an ENFJ when:

1. You frequently feel many overwhelming emotions.

2. It's hard for you to cut bad people out of your life, making it easy for people to take advantage of you.

3. You are open to dating just about any personality type.

4. You worry that performing well in competitions and activities will hurt your relationships with people.

5. You find it hard to speak up at times and end up not being heard.

6. You get so excited by small details that you don't see what's wrong with the bigger picture. You're happy your boyfriend spent time with you at a gas station, and you fail to realize he didn't take you on a real date.

7. You hate criticism so much that you'll hide to avoid it.

8. You are so eager to please people that it can prevent you from being yourself.

9. You get depressed and become a trainwreck when something goes wrong. Imagine drunken hysteria, lots of crying, deep introspection, and spending too much time with others.

10. You nod your head in agreement because you want to be liked, even if you don't understand what's being said.

11. You have difficulty understanding your dark side. This may give it the power to overwhelm and confuse you without warning.

12 You overbook your schedule without thinking about what you actually want to do.

13. You eagerly agree with everything and end up in a pickle.

14. When you finally stand up for yourself, it's so late in the game that you end up causing more conflict for other people.

15. Being passive aggressive is your modus operandi.

16. Emotions, social chemistry, and attractions influence your decisions so much that you forget to consider the long-term consequences.

17. You avoid vocalizing your complaints and choose to drop hints instead. If the other person calls you out on this, you get tempted to go into an angry, introspective spiral.

18. You are an affirming, pleasant, and warm person.

19. You have a hard time choosing sides because everyone to be happy. Some people may cut you out of their lives because they see you're too close with their enemy.

20. You can become a total psychopath if you haven't appropriately matured. If you align yourself with the wrong people, you can be trained to act like a clueless beast.

ENFJs love spending time with people and getting to know them.
ENFJs love spending time with people and getting to know them. | Source

21. You preoccupy yourself with little things to avoid dealing with the real problems.

22. All you want is love. Is that so bad?

23. You need to open up and get to know who you are. It takes a lot of motivation to do so, but you'll be stronger for it.

24. You know the gossip and judgment going around, and it keeps you from getting a good night's rest.

25. You find it hard to say something when you see something wrong at work.

26. Small things set you off. If your roommate left you a note saying you need to wash the dishes piled up in the sink, you would cry.

27. You need people who will listen to your thoughts and help you address them.

28. You should steer clear of picture-perfect suburban utopias because you could get lost in something fake. When you realize something's wrong, you'd experience a breakdown, midlife crisis, etc.

29. You are more powerful, capable, and attractive than you dare think or accept.

30. You care more about getting to know people than pursuing your interests. This ropes you into activities you may not enjoy.

31. You rely on your feelings more than your brain to make decisions.

32. You're subjective.

33. It's hard for you to move away from your family.

34. You struggle to express your thoughts in words. You might show stress with random sounds and extreme facial expressions.

35. You dance to the beat of your own drum and don't need to follow in anyone's footsteps.

36. It's hard to remember that if someone gives you constructive criticism, it doesn't mean they dislike you.

37. You have a hard time with criticism in general.

38. You want to be the best at everything, and you need to remember it's okay not to be a master of it all.

39. You experience explosive energy in short bursts.

40. You need to actively remember that a negative conversation can become something meaningful.

41. You make people's days by giving them hugs.

42. You find it hard to face reality because we live in a dark, awful world.

43. You need a strong support system with people who tell you if someone might be an abuser.

44. You have little tolerance for arguments and lengthy academic discourses.

45. You get addicted to oversleeping.

What is the biggest struggle for the ENFJ?

See results


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    • profile image


      2 months ago

      The "All you want is love. Is that so bad?" hit me like a 20x regular size freight train.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      9 months ago from Chicago

      You were thinking you had unlimited time and resources!

    • profile image


      10 months ago

      The worst thing about being an ENFJ is that you waste so much energy and time on people that dont deserve it, when I was young I went out of my way to help every person I crossed paths with, what the hell was I thinking?

    • profile image


      13 months ago

      OMG, if sleeping addiction is a crime, I am in trouble.

    • profile image


      17 months ago

      Related to all of these. Made me smile at myself and shake my head.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      No problem! Always glad to help.

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      This was 100% spot on. Thank you for putting this together!!!

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      This is my boyfriend all day long...

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      Literally related to every one of these lol.

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      Glad to hear you connected with this!

    • profile image

      The great and magnificent 

      2 years ago


      This is so me

    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      2 years ago from Chicago

      Excellent! Glad to have resonated with you.

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      Literally the most accurate thing I've ever read!


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