30 Common Struggles of ISFJs

Updated on December 6, 2017
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Andrea loves to write about the zodiac, Myers Briggs, and texting. She is an expert on romance and relationships. She also has two cats.

30 Common Struggles of an ISFJ

The wonderful ISFJ is the martyr of the Myers–Briggs personality test. It stands for introversion (I), sensing (S), feeling (F), and judgment (J). This type is influenced by introverted sensing and guided by extroverted feeling. People with this personality type either like you or couldn't care less about you. When they do like you, however, they'll move mountains to make you happy. For the most part, expect warmth, diligence, and lots of baked goods from someone with the ISFJ personality.

Here are 30 everyday struggles you may face as an ISFJ:

1. Getting mislabeled as an ISTJ and having people think you're nitpicky about matters you don't care for in the slightest.

2. Being a goofball while people think you're serious or grumpy.

3. Feeling insecure and assuming the people around you are smarter, better, or more equipped than you.

4. Not caring about winning at board games. You just want to have fun, but everyone else is so serious.

5. Liking people and wanting to support you, but feeling unsure if they return the love.

6. Being paranoid about someone without fully knowing the situation.

7. Developing anxiety and being unable to shake off feelings of impending disaster.

8. Appreciating clean aesthetics and being easily disturbed with any disorder.

9. Coming across as rigid, inflexible, or even cold and uncaring to others, all without being aware of it.

10. Having a storm cloud of emotions.

11. Feeling threatened if your external world is attacked or changed, which can cause you to shut down.

12. Loathing spending time with people you don't like.

13. Focusing so much on the people you love that you overlook your own needs. This can lead to sudden flares of emotion or extra-long naps.

14. Being so content with the familiar that it's difficult to branch out into something new.

15. Becoming overwhelmed because of too much conflict in a room.

16. Experiencing difficulty leaving a bad relationship because you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings.

17. Having a hard time moving on from a bad relationship because of lingering thoughts on what could have been different.

18. Feeling intense emotions that you don't express because you don't want to scare people away.

19. Needing to express your feelings daily rather than allowing them to build up. Holding it in would make you explode and end up saying things you didn't mean.

20. Feeling attracted to ESFP and ESTP personalities, which can be naturally deceiving personalities if not matured correctly.

21. Being introverted, but not as introverted as other personality types. You're like the INFJ in that they're more social introverts, which can get confusing.

22. Craving stability so much it can be a crutch. Sometimes you could grow more by pushing yourself, but you tend to avoid it because it makes you feel anxious.

23. Holding a grudge easily, particularly if it's against someone who's taken advantage of you before.

24. Struggling to release sadness and finding it easier to do this alone. This can be confusing for your partners to know your real emotional state.

25. Refusing to talk about some of your favorite interests because you're unsure if you'll fit in with other people. You may be quiet about sharing your favorite authors, movies, and toys because you prefer hearing what makes other people happy.

26. Covering up emotional pains through exercise.

27. Experiencing sudden bouts of insecurity in relationships because of past events.

28. Continuing to do the same thing over and over again, only to fail because you can't see the bigger picture of what you're doing wrong.

29. Coming off as secretive even though that was never your intention.

30. Spending extra hours cleaning up after others and being hesitant to bring it up because it may hurt other people's feelings.

What Are Traits of the ISFJ Personality Type?

Introverts tend to know how their body feels, which makes them excel at meditation, cooking, physical work, dancing, and athletics. This sense helps them determine what energy they need and what sucks their soul. Because of this, they can get addicted to coffee, alcohol, or even physical activity.

The ISFJ is prone to putting themselves down because they have a feeling-oriented personality that is among the most warm-hearted personalities in the Myers–Briggs world. The ISFJ enjoys showing hospitality and may do so by sprucing up a place with flowers, scented soap, classical music, or comfy furniture. They will want to cook for you, have your bed ready, and provide extra shampoo if you stay over at their home.

The ISFJ can be compared to an ESFJ if its extroversion was sucked out by a vampire. It can also feel like an INFJ until you face it with too many random, abstract ideas. The ISFJ does well with SJ personalities and NF personalities. If people get too serious for the ISFJ, it may turn them off.

Someone with the ISFJ personality has a lot of people-oriented goals. They may desire a career or creative oriented pursuit, but traditionally an ISFJ wants to find a perfect soulmate and raise a number of sharp, wonderful children. They are inclined to be a great spouse and parent because of their nurturing personality. A happy ISFJ is one that is nurtured and pampered and ensures others are as well. They want to make their family happy and safe in a big world of many things happening at once.

Above all, ISFJ personalities are kind, considerate, and lovers at heart. They are hard working, eager to please, and keep themselves healthy. They're great listeners with beautiful hearts. Having an ISFJ in your life can make you feel encouraged and ready to take on the world. They are committed and nurturing souls, often withholding judgment and showing mercy instead. They make great parents, friends, and spouses. Relationally, they are the queens and kings we wish we could be.


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