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How to Identify an INFJ personality

Updated on July 7, 2015
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Andrea loves to write on the zodiac, Myers Briggs, and texting. She is an expert on romance and relationships. She also has two cats.

The INFJ personality in the Myers Briggs universe makes for a great friend, lover, and parent. For those of you who don't know what INFJ stands for it's: introverted, intuition, feeling, and judging. Myers Briggs is a personality test that groups four different traits found on a spectrum into 16 different personalities. Essentially, those are on the following spectrum:

Extroverted - Introverted

Sensing - Intuition

Thinking - Feeling

Judging - Perceiving

There's a lot that can be said of this, but we are focusing on a specific personality today -- the INFJ.

The following are some tricks in case you're needing an INFJ in your life.

Reasons you want to identify an INFJ:

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1. INFJ personalities tend to have a lot of friends, more so than the usual introvert. You'll still be able to tell that they're shy or withdrawn.

2. INFJ tend to dress somewhat artsy. They put effort into the way they dress. Women may wear something floaty, flowery, long skirts, short skirts, and jewelry. I think most INFJ women have good sense for shoes. They love a variety of colors.

3. They have a calm and mysterious aura about them. They may not feel this way in their mind, but if you're around them, you might feel at ease. They tend to be reading, drinking tea or coffee, or making jokes with friends.

4. This personality is witty. They probably have a strange remark for just about anything. A lot of times they're hilarious. Think Jerry Seinfeld or Billy Crystal. An INFJ tends to have a close ENFP, a more wild Robin Williams type around them. If you can find one of those personalities, the other is probably not too far away because they make for strong friends. Partly because their senses of humor play off each other well.

5. INFJ have a lot of emotions. Remember, they are calm. They also can be hyperactive. Or a sobbing vehement mess.

6. They crave jobs in -- non for profit organizations, writing, education, counseling, music, and art. Anything that is idea motivated and creative draws in an INFJ.

7. INFJ like a variety of abstract concepts to explore. If they keep bringing up the subject of magic, conspiracy theories, psychics, personality theories, religion, philosophy, critical thinking, gender theory, queer theory, science fiction -- you likely have an INFJ or someone who would make a good friend for an INFJ.

8. This is a personality that sometimes needs to withdraw. It re-calibrates by drawing away from crowds and recognizing what are it's present friend groups. Sometimes this is a painful process for an INFJ when they have to reckon with their past and present friendships.

9. They're smart students. Expect high level grades and a busy education schedule. They tend to be goal achievers. INFJ travel with INTJ and INTP as the holy trifecta of introverted super thinkers.

10. Strong writers. Writing a paper is a piece of cake for them since they are constantly analyzing and developing new critical theory.

11. It's a personality that craves a Master's degree or higher education.

12. This is a personality that when immature can be highly manipulative and will sting you. They understand people well and sometimes get out of hand using people for their own experience or interests. Most INFJ will grow out of this and reckon with how to truly have compassion for others.

13. World travelers. This personality has bad wander-lust. They may be constantly thinking about where to go on vacation, a short term overseas mission, what are the greatest cities, etc.

14. They may have trouble communicating in some settings, but then oddly enough super shine at speaking in front of groups -- like teaching or giving a stage performance.

15. It's a personality that can come off like an "old soul."

16. This personality is full of wisdom and inspirational quotes. Likely religious.

17. INFJ has a deep love for the finer things like food, music, artistic design.

18. They may struggle with their self-confidence or self-esteem as they feel like they need to be more of a person... when they already are quite a person.

19. Strong listeners. In some situations, they will hardly speak of themselves while asking all the right questions to get you to open up.

20. There's one in just about every coffee shop.

21. They have things that are knitted. Like scarves, hats, mittens.

22. They all have a deep love of literature.

23. They tend to be pet owners. Not hoarders.

24. Not your richest of folks. They're so focused on ideas that they often neglect looking at practical matters like their budget, mowing the lawn, or spontaneous spending. They tend to be just fine at getting the bills paid for one way or another.

25. Tend to be attractive.

26. Have diehard love for their friends.

27. A personality that is focused when it comes to relationship matters. They may be wholly single, married -- or go through cycles of three sheets to the wind. Sometimes an INFJ rejects itself and goes though a phase of "I'm trying not to be as monogamous as my gut wants me to be."

28. The INFJ often seems like they have something to say... but are holding back.

29. Plays a musical instrument or used to.

30. Has dappled in studying a language.

31. Clean hair.

32. Tends to have messy desks.

33. Amazing at baking cakes.

34. Refuses to uses words and just makes sounds. Struggles to keep eye contact without explaining why.

35. They have odd rituals and preoccupations with schedules to keep them sane. They have consistent things they try to do everyday, once a week, etc. This occurs while also leaving room for spontaneous interaction.

36. This is one of the personalities that may take longer to date or holds off on marriage. They don't have the speed to get married like an ESFJ who tends to be married by its early 20s.

37. Likes physical touch more than they are letting on. They can really gage a person by how they touch their hair, arms, shoulders. A hug is revealing to an INFJ. But they don't want you to know that's often their kryptonite. They love compliments, but something about touch wakes them up out of their tendency to be in their heads. Also, they can tell if they really don't like you if you touch them in a way that rubs them wrong.

38. Many may say they're asexual. Many of them in reality just have self-control or a different way of monitoring and understanding their libido. They're in their imagination. This is a very mental creature so a sexual identification test only on physical fantasies might not make sense to them... depends on how they've built their imagination. They are screaming freaks of romance. And then probably have good, sound control of their libido. I know that's repetitive, I just want you to know they're good at keeping the volcanic libido hushed or out of sight.

39. They do lean toward the sapiosexual side, accept... looks probably do matter too. This is unfortunately one of the most, if not the most, picky personality when it comes to finding a partner. They understand social issues and people, so they're looking for the best possible option. The older they get the more they realize they're human -- also the older they get, the better the options they have around them. They may be confused as to why their romantic prospects got better at about 23 and up.

40. They enjoy a good movie.

41. They don't tend to have a high interest in sports. They'll watch it with you, but they may be daydreaming. Sports on TV that have a lot of commercial breaks are the worst for this personality. I think the best sports for the INFJ are more individualized ones, like gymnastics.

42. They're not bad at math if they can apply it to other concepts -- like religion.

43. They may have strange organizing systems in an otherwise seemingly messy home. They'll spend extra time on organizing a tea cabinet, arranging a closet by colors, leaving charts in each room for how to clean it, and they'll leave clutter piles everywhere. They've probably got boxes they keep telling themselves to empty that are full of things from eight years ago -- like postcards, certificates, and letters.

44. Have freakishly weird friendships with animals. They can make you believe they can actually talk to animals.

45. Soft spoken personality, but blunt -- and if really upset they'll be opinionated to the max.

46. All kinds of strange emotions can come up during a board game. They may make art pieces out of the game pieces. They may sing randomly. They may try to sit there quietly without revealing their plan. They may decide they don't care ,and they'll go off with some strange plan that they don't know how it's going to end... but could foil someone else just for the heck of it.

47. Great for a trivia team. Might not know a lot of questions -- hit or miss on things you wouldn't expect.

48. Bad about ghosting. Actually, not bad about ghosting. They're experts. When they know they don't need you anymore or they've hurt you, you may suddenly stop receiving communication from them. You may not be aware that this is happening. They'll do this subtly, but it is a conscious effort to move on from you one way or another. If you're in a relationship with an INFJ and they go cold, it means they've evaluated and came to a conclusion that they're life probably doesn't need you anymore because you hurt them. At this point, things are probably too late. You would need to be really sweet to them. Do not be aggressive; this will confirm whatever they are seeing -- and they'll drop you faster than you can pick up whatever nearby object and throw it to the ground. Instead be really sweet, encouraging, and bring up nostalgia -- only then you might have a chance at saving something. This tactic will throw them off. But if you aggressively chase them down -- you'll scare them. They might actually think you're abusive. They will find reasons to setup a sanctuary to be safe and away from you. Now if they're really trying to bring up something before a break up, you should listen to them carefully. This means they still solidly care about you, but if things don't change -- they may go cold. Since they are wise about people if they are talking a lot, they probably have thought about it for a long while, and have checked themselves like crazy beforehand for errors. They know their crap pretty well by this point.

49. You never want to see this personality cry. It'll make you want to cry too. It'll make you want to curl into a ball and sob till the next day.



50. This is an independent personality. They can survive without people but not like a hermit. They'll still be around people at work, etc. But they can go solo if they feel it is best for them.

51. One of the best people to date ever. They'll keep the conversation going, they'll genuinely like your company, and they love the spontaneous. Warning: it may make your head explode. Additional warning: things may move slower than you want.

52. For whatever reason -- terrible at memorizing lyrics. They're great at making up visuals for words, but terrible at memorizing them word for word.

53. That is unless they intentionally memorize all the words. When they set their minds to it, they can memorize anything. In fact, they may have not learned how to read as a kid. They probably first relied heavily on their memory.

54. Quietly competitive.

55. They all have certain pet peeves: don't disturb their sleep; don't leave dishes dirty if you live with them that you'll never clean causing them to always wash the dishes; don't be blind to the fact that they're gorgeous and you see them all the time and should probably open up your heart about it already. Also, don't be stupid. They may stare at you helplessly trying to figure out how to translate their thoughts to figure out how to help you when you've been so dumb. They'll think for you if they have to.

56. Before coming into maturity, this personality may struggle with OCD, anxiety, or sleep paralysis. There is hope that you can overcome these things with age -- that's for the INFJ folks, at least. Or you may have it following you all the time.

57. Someone who likely prays or meditates a lot.

58. Has an expansive vocabulary.

59. They have amazing lucid dreams.

60. They do like being in a homey environment.

61. They may not really want to be known for their interests, quirks, and everything else. They probably stick out like a sore thumb at times, but there's times where they are consciously trying to blend or be normal. Then they'll say something witty or start laughing out of nowhere.

62. You will probably hear them say the line, "But I didn't tell you that?"

63. Also, you might hear: "Haha, you think you know me so well? I beg to differ."

64. Likes to journal.

65. Might feel uneasy if their vertigo is set off. There's so much going on in this person's brain that I think it lends itself to motion sickness, headaches, dizziness.

66. Wishes that you liked them just as much as they like you.

67. Loves to work on giant creative projects.

68. Will seem at a great crossroads if they have to lie. They'll consider the karmic cost of it.

69. Will name random objects. For instance, a blue plate is now George.

70. They are likely to flood you with messages to then suddenly stop... and then repeat the process over and over. If you encourage the flood of messages, they'll keep going.

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    • profile image

      Shayne 18 months ago

      Boy, this sure is dead accurate about us.

    • SerenityHalo profile image
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      Andrea Lawrence 18 months ago from Chicago

      @Shayne

      Thanks!

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      Deb 16 months ago

      Wow. This is amazing.

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      Andrea Lawrence 16 months ago from Chicago

      @deb

      Thank you!

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      Morgan 15 months ago

      The asexual thing!!!

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      Andrea Lawrence 15 months ago from Chicago

      @Morgan

      Yes! Many INFJ do better if relationships are not rushed... if they want relationships.

      In this world, most people act really fast when they run into someone they like. But INFJ is introspective, and their intuition has to give them a positive or else they fear the relationship will ruin them. Sometimes INFJ will desperately put themselves into a relationship because they want one, not because they are actually ready.

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      schticklet 15 months ago

      I think all of my closest friends have asked me if I'm asexual or gay.

      It's crazy how accurate these points are.

      The only stuff that doesn't fit with me are the religion details.

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      Andrea Lawrence 15 months ago from Chicago

      @schticklet

      Very interesting. Don't worry about what other people think. Also, I think INFJ really likes to take their time, and dating gets a lot more interesting as you age. I don't know how old you are... but yeah.

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      David 14 months ago

      I found about 80% of this to be accurate, but what was was extremely accurate, and what I didn't identify with I found very different from my own views on it. It may be a result of variety in my life, situations and how I've needed to change for them, it I found it very interesting how I may strongly disagree with other INFJs on such things.

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      Andrea Lawrence 14 months ago from Chicago

      @David

      At the end of the day, it is a blueprint. Other special functions can vary wildly. Thank you for the thoughts.

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      Jen 14 months ago

      This was scary accurate! Thanks!!

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      Andrea Lawrence 14 months ago from Chicago

      @Jen

      Thank you!

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      Sam 12 months ago

      Pretty accurate but I'm really into sports. I don't always enjoy watching them I do daydream a lot

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      Andrea Lawrence 12 months ago from Chicago

      @Sam

      Daydreaming is a hallmark of the INFJ for sure. :)

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      Ruth 12 months ago

      About 93% of this is right on the mark. Nicely done

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      Andrea Lawrence 11 months ago from Chicago

      93% is an A in my book, so I'll take it.

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      Eli 10 months ago

      Pretty good list. I identify with about 90% of the points. Love to ghost ;)

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      Andrea Lawrence 10 months ago from Chicago

      It is often is the choice of poison for an INFJ. It helps get rid of the trace.

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      Jennifer 9 months ago

      And to think, as an INFP, this describes me 100%. I would always test INXJ, but upon enough comparisons to Maria Sound of Music, and poor executive function, I claimed INFP. Who knows! The two are often confused and I claimed INFJ for years.

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      Andrea Lawrence 9 months ago from Chicago

      Do you feel more led by intuition or emotion?

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      Ethereal 9 months ago

      This is so painfully accurate, it hurts. I'm often called weird and 'not normal' because of my personality type; which has brought on anxiety and other mental health illnesses ~

      I wish INFJs were more understood.

      Thank you for writing this !

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      New2this 9 months ago

      Great article. Finally someone understands me. Lol

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      KK 9 months ago

      Oh I love this! What a relief to read this.

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      Andrea Lawrence 9 months ago from Chicago

      I'm glad to give relief! :)

    • SerenityHalo profile image
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      Andrea Lawrence 9 months ago from Chicago

      You have arrived in a safe place where you can be understood. Welcome to the world of INFJ!

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      Andrea Lawrence 9 months ago from Chicago

      What they mean by "weird" and "not normal" is that you're completely awesome and that they are baffled by your seemingly wonderful existence that seems like it has flown out of a fairy tale book.

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      nadrah 7 months ago

      i laughed reading this! lol 99.9% correct

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      Andrea Lawrence 7 months ago from Chicago

      99.9% is good enough for me. ;)

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      Lynn 6 months ago

      Most of these are spot on for me, thanks. Nice when someone gets it.

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      Mae 5 months ago

      This is so accurate; I find it scary.

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      Andrea Lawrence 5 months ago from Chicago

      I hope my insight is helpful.

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      Jayden 5 months ago

      I agreed to almost everything on this lol

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      Alexandra 5 months ago

      Yeah, that's so me.

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      Kcors 5 months ago

      Hahahaha!!! I was laughing all through out while reading this! Amazing work! Ha!

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      H-Man 5 months ago

      everything was mostly if not always accurate for me, especially the lucid dreaming, and day dreaming part. The average human is in their head for about 30% of the time their awake but for me it's more like I'm in my head for 95% percent of the time I'm awake.

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      Idk. 4 months ago

      Best article ever. Mindblowing.

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      Andrea Lawrence 4 months ago from Chicago

      Thank you. :)

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      PowerMechGuy 4 months ago

      Thank you for making this. I don't really know how to put it. I mean it's just so weird to find out there are other people to think like you. I'm still trying to figure out how I became an INFJ. But either way, I guess I'm me for a reason.

      This was the best summation of INFJ character traits I've read thus far. And I've read a great deal...

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      Andrea Lawrence 4 months ago from Chicago

      From what I can tell, with Myers Briggs is you can trace it back to childhood. A long time ago, I believe I read somewhere that you can usually spot the E-I and P-J tendencies / leanings, and then the other spectrums start to become more noticeable with age. Since so much of this theory plays off the functions, it would make sense that it's already there and we all discover it as we age. It's very hard to create functions that are not your own. Possibly to play with, but I don't know if they would get integrated into the subconscious. Usually, INFJ will come across to other children as odd because introverted intuition is a really rare gifting and that's their trump card, so to speak. INTJ and INFJ have it, but they both those are rare. You may have one kid per class or so that are an INTj or INFj. Other kids won't understand how you're quickly making conclusions, and it'll baffle teachers too. As insightful as INFJ is with people, a lot of people can't do that back for them.

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      Ray 2 months ago

      woahh this is too accurate. How did you do it?

      Awesome Job. But seriously how?

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      Genevieve 2 months ago

      Wow, it is great to read something so accurate about myself. Now that I've finally found out that I am an INFJ, everything makes SO much sense... Thank you!

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      Sladjana 7 weeks ago

      Some 10 years ago, I was ESTJ.. but that was a test taken for/and related to work, after completed training for a management position. A year ago, I took the test again, as a personal interest and got INFJ.. and yes, I could finally see that someone understands and I am not the only "odd" one around :) I was quite relieved. Looking back into my childhood, I understand why so often I felt awkward.. Many of the points are correct, especially 48. When I stop the communication, it's already too late to save the friendship. Also, nr. 8 is a must for me and my mental/emotional health - I need to withdraw in order to recharge batteries. Nice article, thanks :)

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      Miri 6 weeks ago

      spot on. I name random pigeons and other animals all the time

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      Valancy 6 weeks ago

      Wow, i would say 90% accurate lol. You forgot to mention how most infjs are more outgoing online than irl tho.

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      chintya huanguos 6 weeks ago

      it is amazing to see many facts about infj here. I wonder if most of the infjs out there suffer from perfectionist-procrastination loop? It is friggin frustrating to put my brilliant ideas (i think) to work. sigh.

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      Iffat 6 weeks ago

      Wow. Its eerie reading about myself and thinking "am I really like this"

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      Tayra 5 weeks ago

      Can I ask you something ... it is about the writing thing (I actually can't write well may be it is not my thing but I agree with you Iam not a talker like not at all more of a listener although people actual say that I talk quite well ..not that much anyway ... and the asexual thing although I didn't quite get into a relationship but I do like physical touch as hugging I actually like people to express their feeling to me every day saying that they love i feel like I give love hella more than I take .. but I tend to think of. The opposite sex so what is the meaning of asexual I don quite get it .. or may be u mean that we don't give it our all until we completely sure about the other partner ...... sorry to bother u

      Every thing else was quite on point Ian only asking because Ian finding myself weird even weirder that infj like I don't like to let my emotion to the surface and so on

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      Andrea Lawrence 5 weeks ago from Chicago

      Asexuality has to do with a low sex drive or even low interest in sexuality. You easily can be celibate. You may find you are rarely attracted to other people. You may also find you are uncertain whether you are straight or gay because your sex drive isn't as high as a priority as maybe others. You still might want romance and a partnership, but being turned on is elusive to you. Doesn't mean your body doesn't work. You may find you don't want to open up sexually and till you have more emotions. Since sexuality isn't always concrete, the answer can come with having a few things put together to help make it clear.

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      tayra 4 weeks ago

      but iam actually attracted to other people though i am not in a realtionship but i feel like i won't be a sexual ..but a i think i would prefer showing love and interest by both soul and body yes soul is a must .... but is the asexual thing crucial in infj personality ???except for that all is in me .

      oh one more question i find myself always giving excuses about my situation like i always need to expalin my self to others it is something very tiring and a stopped it recently but it bothered me alot ... ,,,also i really care about whom i with like alot but also i dont like to be inferior to other at all like i want to be the best of my friends (no one is better ) i donno if it is something i gained from my family or in my personality

      again sorry for bothering u :D

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      Anica 4 weeks ago

      It's a pretty good article, I even laughed at some of the "yep, that's me" parts. But I do have a few things I'd like you to consider....

      Question #21 should be removed as it weakens your "authority" on the topic. It comes across as if you went to every INFJ and asked if him/her owned such things (but we all know you didn't). Some people live in places where it is too warm for winter clothes, and others don't necessarily like the "knitted" version of winter attire.

      Question #31 is completely irrelevant. You must consider the fact that when generally speaking of INFJs, you are representing all 2% of 7,500,000,000. That's about 150,000,000. And if you realize that most countries are 3rd world countries, then you would not assume that ever INFJ has clean hair.

      I'm gonna let #33 slide because it explains some things

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      Jaf 4 weeks ago

      Wondering about this-say more? Typo?

      34. Refuses to uses words and just makes sounds. Struggles to keep eye contact without explaining why.

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      Pea in a Pod 4 weeks ago

      Oh boy... :D

      I've found my people!

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      Andrea Lawrence 4 weeks ago from Chicago

      We are glad you have found us!

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      Andrea Lawrence 4 weeks ago from Chicago

      Sometimes INFJ isn't sure how to explain what is going on in their heads and reverts to other less communicable devices. Plenty of INFJ are thinking in visuals and sounds, but don't know how to translate it into words. Sometimes an INFJ becomes overwhelmed by the information they are absorbing in eye contact, so they look somewhere else to keep mental focus.

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      Shay 4 weeks ago

      Wow, this is so me! Holy cow

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      Astra 4 weeks ago

      Well I identified myself that I'm an INFP but this is so related to me like more than 90%.

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      Andrea Lawrence 4 weeks ago from Chicago

      INFP and INFJ are fairly similar. It can be difficult to tell the slight differences. INFP is almost like an inside out INFJ. Its dominate trait is introverted-feeling... where INFJ has introverted-intuition.

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      Andrea Lawrence 4 weeks ago from Chicago

      Glad to hear it!

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      NoneOfYourDamnBusiness 17 hours ago

      Wow. What a crock of crap!

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