Major Causes of Divorce: Japan Gaining on America 2005–2025

Newest Divorce Rates in U.S.A. and Japan

By the end of 2023, the United States saw continued overall decreasing trends in divorce rates. First U.S. marriages continued to end in divorce at the rate of 35-50%, and second marriages ended at a higher rate, 60-70%.

The 2023 divorce rates for America compared to Japan are:

• U.S.: 2.3 per 1,000 people
• Japan: 1.2 per 1,000 people

These rates are both lower than those of 2012, shown in the Divorce Rate History graph below. As we look at the graph, we see that the rates of divorce in both Japan and USA have decreased! They also have moved closer together, with only a 0.8 per 1,000 difference!

Divorce Rates Per 1,000 People 2000 - 2023

The "World Population Review" published in 2022 that the 2019 Japanese divorces rate of 1.7 per every 1,000 population was a decrease from 2012 of only 0.29. The U.S. rate was 2.7 per 1,000, a decrease of 0.70. Both rates decreased to the end of 2023.

Divorce Rate History

American and Japanese Divorce Rates, 2002.

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21st Century Divorce Rates Per 1,000 People

Top 10 Lowest Rates of Divorce, by Country

1. India: 0.01
2. Mozambique: 0.04
3. Kenya: 0.06
4. Zimbabwe: 0.07
5. Vietnam: 0.2
6. South Africa: 0.4
7. Brazil: 0.4
8. Qatar: 0.4
9. Libya: 0.5
10. Peru: 0.5

The divorce rates of both America and Japan are still much higher than any of the above top 10 lowest rates.

Types of Japanese Divorce

1. Divorce by agreement (kyogi rikon)
2. Divorce by mediation in a family court (chotei rikon).
3. Divorce by decision of the family court (shimpan rikon)
4. Divorce by judgment of a district court (saiban rikon)

21st Century Changes in Japanese Population

Japanese Baby Boomers are retiring, leaving fewer taxpayers to replace them. Japan reports some of the highest life expectancies globally, but low birth rates.

There were 1.19 million Japanese deaths in 2010, the most since 1947 when the records started. Japan is almost at zero population growth. In fact, in 2010, deaths outnumbered births by over 1.0 per 1,000 people.

The July 2010 Japanese population estimate/extrapolation = 126,804,433. This would be the 10th largest national population in the world.

• In 2010, Japan reduced by 123,000 people, losing population numbers also in 2007, 2008, 2009, and 2010 to cancer, heart disease, stroke, and others. The divorce rate already doubled from 1990–2000 as well.
• Age 65+ = 25% of Japan's population in December 2010. Younger people are putting off marriage and children. [Author's note: In fact, young women in 1980s Japan began to rebel against marriage and children, a trend that has extended 30 years. Japan is becoming a kind of nation of senior citizens.]
• The year 2010 showed 706,000 recorded marriages, the lowest figure since 1954. Unwed pregnancies are an insignificant number, so fewer marriages = fewer children = fewer Japanese.

Japan’s Women Told to Breed, Not Lead

Jake Adelstein reported in "The Daily Beast" on June 21, 2014 that male Japanese congress members made sexist remarks in the Tokyo Metropolitan Assembly to a female member during her presentation about raising children in Japan. The men said: “Hey, you should hurry up and get married!” and “Can’t you have babies?”

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Will Japanese Divorce Increase in the Future?

American divorces decreased, while Japanese divorces first increased and then slightly decreased. So many divorces occur in Japan that divorce ceremonies are now offered since 2010.

In order for a marriage relationship to succeed, I believe that there must be a foundation upon which partners build a relationship. They do this over time with experiences that add something to the foundation rather than destroy it. These experiences should not be a temporary tap dance across a foundation that is used as a steppingstone to other people and other tap dances.

A marriage foundation, in my mind, includes one or both of these:

• A common set of core values between the partners, or at least several shared values; or
• A set of interests and passions that can join the partners together long-term.

In my experience as a counselor and therapist, the largest two causes of Western divorce have been:

• A lack of foundation for the marriage, such as common beliefs and interests, similar life missions and visions, compatible goals, etc.
• Abuse, including any verbal, emotional, physical, economic, religious, and sexual abuses.

These causes may be entering into the Japanese experience as well.

What Is Marriage and How Has it Changed?

In 18th and 19th-century America, and well into the 20th century, people did not often marry for love, faith-based foundations, or mutual interests. They married to join good families, to produce heirs, and to have children to work on the family farm. They often married for survival, especially among the pioneers blazing trails to the American West.

To be sure, some people married for love, and some arranged marriages saw the partners come to love each other. However, this may not have been the usual pattern. Survival and the drive to reproduce are extremely strong; otherwise, the human race would become extinct.

As women began entering the professionals, obtaining the right to vote, etc., they expanded their mental horizons, some deciding that they could live without dependence upon a husband or their fathers as a breadwinner. During World War II, American women went to work in the jobs men had left behind when they entered the armed services.

Changing Roles

After WWII, some women did not want to return to the roles of homemaker or mother. This may be one of the reasons that there were so many educational (or propaganda) films made in the 1950s that encouraged young women to accept the role of homemaker and to follow the etiquette of service to a husband.

At the same time, I never heard a good answer offered as to what a woman that has no family at all should do, instead of work and become successful.

Many women live alone in Americ, a society that has become more fragmented since the 1960s. Women can and often must earn a living and support themselves (and their children) without entering domestic jobs. Men can live alone and be happy dating, eating out, and sending their clothes to the cleaner, employing maid services, etc.—Why can't women?

Marriage becomes more a choice and less a matter of survival in today's America, although some individuals of all genders still marry in order to survive or for convenience.

What is Marriage?

I hear many people saying they married because they wanted to "be with" the other person. I don't think that is enough for a marriage. Some of these individuals become bored with their partners but are also offended if their spouse forms a romantic relationship with someone else. These marriages say more about ownership, self-importance, fun or entertainment than about a healthy relationship.

In the 21st century, more people have the opportunity to openly define their own marriages and partner relationships than in the past centuries. I think they need to have some agreed-upon commonalities in order for these relationships to succeed.

I have seen an initial movement toward establishing the 3- or 5-year marriage contract, especially among science fiction fans. Science fiction has shown us a future world in which no one marries or in which marriage is by short-term contract only.

Science fiction can become fact, although some might prefer a life-long marriage built on love and a faith-based foundation, but that model does not suit all people. Commonality and agreement between the partners entering marriages and partnerships remain vital for success.

Why Do We Divorce?

Top Four Opinions Gathered From eHarmony

1) Unwillingness to communicate lovingly

To me, this means that verbal abuse is present. It means that the partners should plan and develop their life together in a positive way. An unwillingness even to communicate in a functional, non-abusive manner is a big red flag for serious problems because many forms of abuse begin with verbal.

2) Unwillingness to commit

The leadership of eHarmony says this is the acceptance of the marriage vows as life-long and permanent, except in cases of infidelity and abuse. In my experience, many people can forgive infidelity and move on. However, abuse is the deal-breaker. Few abusers change for the good, as I learned in private and public practice from 1983 through 2005.

3) Unwillingness to compromise