Psychological Murder: Death By Covert Abuse

Updated on March 21, 2018
sparkster profile image

Marc Hubs is a writer/researcher on mind, science, and conspiracy. He is the author of "Know Your Enemy: Reflections of NPD."

Source

Pernicious Abuse

It goes unrecognized but it exists.

It exists on an extremely covert level.

It happens behind the scenes without anyone even being aware of what the problem is; the real problem.

No evidence of it is left behind and no-one has ever been convicted of it yet in reality, what I will term pernicious abuse is something which can and does have a devastating effect, not just on the victim, but also within society. Pernicious abuse can lead a person into carrying out acts such as covert psychological murder, or perhaps even covert psychological manslaughter - something which is very real, insidious in nature but unfortunately unrecognized and virtually unquestioned.

Psychological murder can take many forms but the type I'm really referring to is of a covertly narcissistic and/or sociopathic nature. It may be too difficult for some people to be able to comprehend but it does happen and I've seen it happen.

Narcissistic/Sociopathic (narcopathic) abuse takes place when a narcissist or sociopath (or narcopath) attempts to convince someone who has discovered their unbelievably shallow secrets, gradually over time, that they are crazy and proceeds to manipulate them into keeping quiet or to ultimately face their wrath. They use techniques such as crazy-making, character assassination and gaslighting in order to get their victim(s) to question their own sanity.

They generally do so by ostracizing the victim while continuing to act out their part, expertly hiding their truly outrageous behaviour, whilst successfully having everyone around them fooled - everything is done to appease those around them while their manipulative and controlling tactics take place behind the scenes, outside of people's awareness. The victim is forced to question their own sanity because they don't realize that they are the victim because everything done to manipulate them is done outside of their conscious awareness.

The longer time goes on and the longer the victim tries to do something about it, the more severe the abuse becomes. The narcissist/sociopath has already built an army of unwitting abusers who all help to drive the victim crazy. The long-term consequences of these actions can be a devastating, soul crushing and reality-shattering path to be led down. Of course, there are many other types of abuse that can have just as damaging and severe long-term consequences. However, psychological forms of abuse such as gaslighting, mental rape, slander, defamation and distortion campaigns of a person's reputation are done so covertly and expertly that they are very rarely identified early enough.

The abuser, when carrying out these covert tasks, is faceless and undercover.

Narcopathic Abuse

Victims of this type of abuse are commonly left with no resources they can use to escape the situation; the abuser has stolen their finances, their identity and has turned the victim's own family and friends against them, due to the malicious web of lies and deceit that have been woven. The victim is trapped with no way out... or at least that is what they are made to believe.

Although victims go through what can only be described as being dragged through hell backwards, narcissistic and sociopathic abuse via heightened communication is so difficult to pick up on the human radar of perception that the victim is usually left scratching their head wondering "is it me?"

They have been made to believe that they are the problem. Such abusers are so shallow that they may cheat on their partner on significant occasions such as valentine's day or while they are away at a funeral - at times when the victim will least expect it.

Not only that, they will do it with the person the victim suspects the least.... time and time again.

In many cases the victim may turn to drugs or alcohol as a means of escape. The stress they are forced to endure can be so severe that if they don't find some kind of release in order to feel a sense of escape, they continue to build up with overwhelming tension, anxiety, emotional suffering and may develop an overactive mind which can literally drive them crazy - post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can soon follow. That's not to say that the drugs will either prevent it from happening or even slow the process down - they won't. They will only exacerbate the situation in the long run.

Psychological Murder

The abuser never quits abusing and the victim's self-esteem gets worn down to the core until they go through a process of devaluation, dehumanization and dissociation. The victim has been made to feel that they are nothing in this world, they now have nothing, they now have no meaning and nowhere to go and nobody wants them any more except for the narcissistic/sociopathic abuser who can now use the victim as their emotional/mental slave. The narcopath is now their God.

The process is so subliminal and it happens so gradually that it could take place over the course of ten or twenty or even thirty years or more. The victim knows that even if they did escape the situation the abuser would probably continue to ruin the rest of their life or future relationships anyway and in many cases after the partner has left, the abuser continues to drive them crazy gradually destroying their reputation, their life and their soul - often referred to as soul murder.

Eventually the victim may be left feeling suicidal but fear that others would see it as a selfish act. Additionally, they don't want others to be left picking up the pieces they left behind because they do feel real true genuine empathy. For this reason many victims believe they have no choice but to continue suffering the abuse and may feel that the damage is already done.

Some victims may ultimately decide to continue to pump as much alcohol or drugs into their system as they can. This way they can use it not only as a form of escapism but also to slowly kill themselves so that they can reach the point that they have to suffer the abuse no longer. Others may not turn to substance abuse but may end up suffering fatal medical issues as a result of the abuse alone which may potentially lead to death a result of pernicious abuse.

Some may have given up on their hopes of escape and may have just accepted things the way they are (conditioned into co-dependence) but unless they are an inverted narcissist, then the stress will eventually take it's toll. Stress is well known to cause a myriad of health problems, both mental and physical, many of which can be fatal.

Ultimately, the victim takes the knowledge of their covert psychological murder to the grave which forever remains a secret inside the mind of the abuser.

© 2011 Marc Hubs

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image

      Burnette 

      22 hours ago

      No one will help me with the privacy violation I'm experiencing finding out I've been spied on by devices in my home for years planted by the landlord & kept a secret for years and no police help their involved & family too, animals have more rights than me, community gangstalking & no help in the world

    • profile image

      Randy 

      6 days ago

      This is exactly what I am expeariancing. Started in 2015 by individuals with veteran/ corporate connections turning everyone against me with pathetic organized stocking where ever I go. They notify law enforcement while I’m traveling saying they are concerned for me. Once I am to my destination then the stalking,intimidation begins. I have been threatened with pit bulls, vehicles pull out in front of me and lunge at me at intersections. People of veteran oriented men there wives relatives and corporate connections. My rv and truck have been bugged. The latest is visiting my daughter for Xmas. The Narcissist I call him has infiltrated her boy friend his father and step mother and looks like my daughter also. Pathetic mess.

    • profile image

      Ruthiejo McMahon 

      6 days ago

      Very good article but I am extremely disturbed by the image of a noose. Lynching could never be considered by your definition of abuse.

      Pernicious Abuse

      It goes unrecognized but it exists.

      It exists on an extremely covert level.

      It happens behind the scenes without anyone even being aware of what the problem is; the real problem.

      Lynching was anything but covert. Please change picture. Awful comparison.

    • profile image

      Brian feringa 

      3 weeks ago

      Need help asap!!!! My situation started 3 years ago with attempted murder on me ! Poisoned & ran over , left for dead ! Couple weeks of intensive care & very serious injurys from head to toe ! Front back & sides ! Now crippled and living in motels and truck, my life is completely desroyed ! Lost everyone & everything i love ! Jealous buis. Partner stold all accounts ,cash, while i was dying( he thougt) he then started slander and girl and other criminals joined in, then informants lead by state local & federal law enforcement continue to try to set me up & alander and terrorize me !!! Help from any one!! Also my sluggard brother in law is. Illegally spying on me and giving bad info to authoritys!!!! Why !!! You get info from the very ones who hate and kill & desroy!!! Dumb ass !! I have 7 days a week for 30 yrs .... I am no criminal!!! I try to stop pushers & robbers etc

    • profile image

      Brian feringa 

      3 weeks ago

      Wow! Exactly my situation!! Every word of it ! 3 years of this from organized crime , tom sokoloski, crystal suttorp, tommy & mandy(half moon lake ) & more , have destroyed me & my good name with everyone i love! Since murder attempt by poisoning & running me over with jeffs nissan truck or crystals car , left me for dead & by some miracle i am alive but crippled and alone living on the run & law enforcement with criminal informants , continue to set me up! Steal my goods and meds! I have lost over $100,000.00. Of very hard earned money woking 7 days aweek for 30 yrs ! Now they want to finish me off!!! Heip please !!!! Anyone!!! Im no criminal!!!

    • profile image

      Learning to be a person a 

      4 weeks ago

      I was married to all of these persons for 28 yrs. On top of it he didn't have normal temporal lobe activity due to a surgery long before I met him. He had no emotions and only mimicked those around him because there was no sense of self. At first I thought he was just quirky. Little did I know until the last 6 yrs he lived a double life I was completely unaware of. He abused, tortured the kids and I, spent us into oblivion, stalked, liked underaged girls and every sort of horror you can imagine. He gas lighted me to death. I was'nt aware of what was happening to me. I lost myself as a person and my whole life became a foxhole. Always waiting for the next devastating bomb to drop. I gave up everything I liked and did. I became his caretaker and a referee between my children and him and keeping myself as undetectable as possible so as to not bring wrath upon me as much as possible. Which of course doesn't work. And that was my life. I started having symptoms like not being able to drive, go into stores etc. I was eventually hospitalized and diagnosed with PTSD . After I found out the entire truth about my husband I couldnt believe it. Then he dropped his persona completely and I realized I never knew this person..he was horrific to an extent I could hardly bare it. He behaved as if he had never known me or our children practically. I am writing this in duress because he recently committed suicide. We were attacked by people we didnt even know ( his double life people). Everyone thought he was the greatest person in the world and he, unbeknownst to us trash talked us to these people with lies and lft us to the dogs in his death. He wanted divorce so he could continue on with his lifestyle and when he realized I had become serious about divorce...he got agitated. No more me there to clean up his financial messes or take his abuse. I guess he just figured it was the end of the way he wanted to live and that was that. I go between sadness, anger, fear, regret. Im in the throw of all of this as I speak. These type of people do exist. I dont care how intelligent you are you can be brainwashed/gaslighted. This kind of life will cause PTSD. These stories aren't just on a tv show or movie. It's real. The after effects for the victims are horrendous and lifelong. He is dead and his sins died with him. I just had to say my piece because people need to be aware that the information in this article is real and the victims are real.

    • profile image

      debraroncancio@gmail.com 

      5 weeks ago

      I just read a story stating your husband/doctor had you be a stay home mommy and give up your nursing license. Don't know what state you are in. Texas laws , states you can receive DISABILITY SPOUSAL MAINTENANCE if married 10 years, 20 years is more. Proving marriage is not healthy causing more harm to you. Get out and make yourself a beautiful person. Today i am ... Tomorrow I will be the best person to myself and other's in my life.

    • profile image

      debraroncancio@gmail.com 

      5 weeks ago

      We come to this site and speak of our abuser. Word of advise, do not label or give your abuser a title. Psychological abuse is a subject that no attorney, no police, no judge will accept. You have to approach the abuse with doctors showing physical abuse and police reports. Keep all records and be prepared to keep yourself safe at all times. Don't take medication bcuz you can't handle the anxiety. Get focused. You take medication, you might find yourself being labeled. Once you are free from all drugs, you will see that authorities listen. Took me 7 years to realize and 6 years for doctor's to prove my husband, my abuser is the one who was drugging me and the FDA to acknowledge Ativan is a serious psychotic drug. I have 21 years of abuse and stories to tell. I sent my husband, my abuser a reminder of our 21 anniversary and to let him know that I'm going to expose him on YOU TUBE. This is how I stop by husband, my abuser. One message at a time will slowly show up on YOU TUBE. Using his real name Pete Roncancio. Thank you for this site.

    • sparkster profile imageAUTHOR

      Marc Hubs 

      6 weeks ago from United Kingdom

    • profile image

      Mark 

      6 weeks ago

      Can't find your book.

    • profile image

      Ronnie K 

      6 weeks ago

      I have been mentally abused by my female mft psychotherapist for almost three years.

      She used covert psychological coercive tactics ambient abuse, gaslighting, mind games.

      She told me during a session on 3/17/16 that after asking questions about my sex/love life and finding out then I had twelve unwanted years celibate that I had a "problem" that was dangerous knowing thirteen years of psychotherapy what most of my life story was.

      So she explained that it's not normal to go that long without sex and that I had MDD aside from PTSD and outcome for men without my history would be normal resulting in murder and or suicide.

      She turned my life upside down that appointment date 3/17/16.

      She insulted, shamed, blamed, emasculated me.

      She told me then that 23 years non recidivist, 20 years clean and sober, twelve years celibate didn't make me good person.

      According to her I had no empathy, compassion for some deceased, homeless neighbors that didn't know me and deliberately blocked drains in nextdoor shower and bathroom resulting in cat having to be euthanized and damage of thousands of dollars of belongings.

      She said I didn't live in reality saw everything black and white thinking that I saw the world through the Catholic Churches eyes.

      I judged wasn't good person didn't trust people. Morals no good Ethics better.

      Asking about and why not dating on SSDI living in downtown SF skid row off market SRO hotel room building changed to wet homeless shelter.

      When explaining with frequent toxic angry woman on Craigslist she went insane and started a TED talk about Sex Positivity Healthy Sex Life.

      First she said I want an Ethical Slut no such thing. Next a retarded self disclosure she was Bisexual Polyamorous Married Mother Unapologetic Proud Slut.

      She said "We" don't have to choose between men and women we can have both it's not greedy. Don't ever Slut Shame.

      Bragging about going against conventions and telling me that going by what is right and the rules didn't make me good person that I wasn't and didn't trust people. She tried to sugar coat her disgusting lifestyle with virtous terminology Compersion and Abudant Love.

      She lectured me on what women need and want then gave me incorrect assumptions like I wasn't good at sex with women which she wouldn't and never will know. Then advice on masturbation technique and porn tastes she was stupidly off target. Then nonsense about men at adult bookstore gloryholes being married and wives won't give them oral or men who missed on a date. No they were gay every single one of them fun for them hell for me I am Straight.

      She told me to magically get dates without saying anything about not working disability etc then asap have sex to determine if sexual chemistry and compatibility is match because sex is too important for good relationship. After bedding down many when I find her get her to read ETHICAL SLUT and TURN HER OUT BECAUSE SHARING IS CARING.

      She claimed Active mindful listening thirteen years into psychotherapy and talked to me like she never listened to me never dating going to dances or knowing how to talk to women or flirting then after no empathy or compassion she talked to me like I was a dirtbag Pimp. She said I could talk to her about anything and I was thinking she is out of her goddamn mind why would I ever want to see her again let alone talk to her she is a scumbag.

      She emasculated me knowing and admitting so in 11/18 appointment that in 8/03 I told her they put me down in mental health records in Boston as bisexual by activity same-sex encounters for money not by desire(100% straight)

      She said, ”A real man isn't ashamed or disgusted by his sexuality A real man pursues his sexual desires'. She is dirtbag she knew I wasn't going to Catholic Church since leaving after comfirmation 1978 and that I said to her first couple of years I feel guilty not going and praying and feel like I will go to Hell when I die and she used her role to weaponize my weaknesses and vulnerability against me scumbag she is for that.

      She was talking telling me I missed out on life no resilience and sat out not taking risks that I wasn't alive just surviving. Compared me to other clients only lived on skid row couple years and got jobs girlfriends stopped therapy after two years and went through worse than me.

      She went on again about the virtuous Mother Theresa like life of cheating whores and sensed I wasn't OK with her BS.

      She said it's just sex and I realized beginning of session it was life and death literally if I didn't want to murder and or suicide I needed to end unwanted Celibacy.

      Middle of appointment sex was too important the most important part of relationship and near ending that I am not impressed with whores and perverts it's just sex to a client molested during weekend visation with step brother my age who suicided in 4/07 and older step brother who molested us both early adolescence..

      I never had girlfiend, dating, dances proms etc.

      Sixteen witnessed Promiscuous girl fifteen being urinated in the face and bottles shoved in her privates

      Early adulthood needing money for eight balls powder cocaine because mother opened bank statement and I needed her cosignature to withdraw cash she found out I got cash at atm early morning hours like 2am for three to five hundred dollars at a time told her for coke and hookers in combat zone.

      I didn't want to be in Organized Crime, Deal Drugs, Armed Robbery, Grand Theft, Burglary etc so hustling I thought didn't harm but when choosing lesser evil it is still evil and I blew up on two women I loved my life was over at 28 years old.

      So during ST Patrick's Day appointment with REIKI and Psychic Empath healer MFT Psychotherapist she had explained monogamy isn't practical or natural. Everybody gets tired of the same thing. Everyone cheats this is a better honest way.

      She explained as a Zen Buddhist she was Enlightened and Joyful Blissful and has fulfillment.

      She told me Enlightenment is there is No God No Devil No Heaven No Hell No such thing as Sin.

      Yet everyone in New Age/Occult is religiously fanatical about same beliefs and when violating God's Laws in Deuteronomy Ch 18 V 9 as they aquire Clairvoyance Clairaudience Clairsentience and engage is Sexual Perversions and degenerate lifestyles.

      So I ended celibacy end of April 2016 not my desire but same sex encounters at adult bookstore gloryholes and never received treatment for "problem" I had been told I had MDD no therapy no meds then gaslighting moving appointments to ground floor where dangerous untrustworthy clients are seen. Different offices. Moving days of appointments times.

      Ignoring my unhappiness negative feelings about being "bisexual" and not listening.

      9/29/17 relapsed propositioned for prostitution by senior citizen from12 Step and knew my history from first day sobriety 7/03/96 and was well groomed clean shaven well dressed paid for oral and had filthy stinking genitalia and diabolical laughing about it. I smoked $4K of crack cocaine between 9/29/17 and 1/15/18 so called friend ruined thirty day clean so I started over 2/17/19 have one year clean from crack cocaine 22 years and seven months abstinence from alcohol had 22 years anniversary abstinence from alcohol 7/3/18.

      Five years plus no smoking cigarettes. Using small amounts smoking Crystal for harm reduction as the mental abuse from Psychotherapist and Psychiatrist he was new only four years on my case. He stopped messing with me in 9/18 and I let him have it middle of this month over pushing LGBT on me for two years and seven months always telling me any negative or bad feeling is because I am bisexual and self loathing and biphobic and homophobic any time I try to say anything he goes there and pushes romantic gay relationship is what I need.Recently Psychotherapist moved appointments back to ground floor ruining Xmas then New Year's Eve Appointment over dramatic performance to lie about her terminology in her Polyamorous marriage. She claimed to never heard of word Compersion before and didn't know what it means that I brought it up. I almost walked to Golden Gate Bridge to jump after she lied the way she did. I liv

    • profile image

      Doug 

      7 weeks ago

      Learning about the unbeleivable truth that occured in our relatationship for the first two years, she had drugged me the nights where she wanted to go out, and do god knows what, she used melatonin, or ghb, or any kind of sleeping pills. Dozens if times i would be just trying to enjoy the day or evening and id find myself completely baffled at why i couldnt keep my eyes open and my head was spinning, id fall aleep and wake up about 12-15 hours later and having a hard time remembering the day before or anything for that matter, i wasnt sure what was happening to me, she had convinced me that it was normal and i was just tired, well, i found out my ex, who was a health care aide, suppose to be taking care of a def and blind lady, for 12 hour shifts on weekends, well, she had lost her job for havign someone else over at the house while we were dating, and she refused to admit anything to me but she was a major sex addict and always wanted it from me, and we started dating i was 23 and she was 21, and she was nice, had her own place, a job, and nice things, she had just broken up with her ex, and when i stared staying with her she let him stay at her house for a week after they brokeup, but what i had noticed about him is that he would go to work then come home and sit in the basement and pretty much stare at the wall like he was empty, and he couldnt even look me in the eyes or talk to me, i though he was weird but now i realize that she had like taken his soul or something, and well, she had this way of playing this card where because she was adopted and her mother that raised her, tried her best but, my ex was a difficult one, overdosed on a bottle of ridalin at age of 3 and lived, she was diagnosed with adhd, and had a sister 10 years older than her, inwhich they never bonded as sisters, her mother then had both her legs amputated when she had quit smoking making it hard to take care of my ex when she was 14, she had a hard time in school and had to change schools, and was a trouble maker, she had her friends but i beleive them to all be sociopaths in their own ways, so then she went to school for healthcare aide and always claimed that she wanted to be a nurse that was her dream and then like well, i supported us and paid her rent after she lost her job, and i had a addiction to painkillers i was very close to kicking on my own but when we got together we started using together and it bcame out of hand and quickly she got me using fentanyl and i had started using meth, and had a spiritual awakening in which i was going though a life changing beleifs change, and she had completely used that to her power in telling other that i am schizo and bi polar and abusive and im the fucked up one who is responsible for her losing our place and all our stuff to drugs and stuff, then tell me i got her addicted and threatened me all the time, she would drive me to the point where id be shaking and becuase i am extremely empathic and a virgo, i am so kind and generous and convinced myself that i loved her so much and that it must not be just her and then i became super depressed and she seen that and found so many ways to crush me, when i needed her the most she would deny me anything, such as a hug or a nice compliment, her argument would be no you dont desereve a hug because your demanding it, and she would deny me any sort of sympathy or compassion especially if i needed it thats when she would deprive me, then once her addiciton she understood how to get things for herself because shes a good looking girl then well behind my back the games played hard, never once did she ever tell me the truth and because i never knew about sociopathism that i beleived another human couldnt possibly look me in the eyes when im begging for her to just tell me the truth and that ill accept her for the way she is, and that if she loves me truly and 100% isnt cheating on me like so many ppl told me about her just doing crazy desperate things for drugs and tell my ffriends and ppl never to tell me, and she will hook up with them anytime as long as i never find out, she convicned everyone that knew about her private life that i should never ever find out under any circumstance because i love her to much and that if i find out ill commit suicide cause im mentally ill, so whenever id go to breakup with her on peoples here say, and i never could get actual proof, but enough was enough, and she would find a way to make me feel sorry for her and that people are fucked anf they are trying to ruin our relationship cause they are jelous that i have such a loyal and faithful girlfriend and wouldnt sleep with these guys so thats why they are saying this.... well no matter how much i knew anything, i couldnt beleive myself because if i had any chance of being wrong then i take that upon myself quite seriously, with her i found i always needed to go be alone bymyself almost daily because she would drain me and drive me to insanity, so i would go to a few spots to watch the stars and i was big into watching sunrises and sunsets in which i would invite her but she would never want to come with me, so then when i went to detox when i was ready to quit using drugs she stayed home in my parents basements and she was suppsoed to be getting clean to and like i went for 6 days and i get home walk in the bedroom and there was needles all over the place and she was such a wreck, she was sick, and like depleted of like everything, so then she drove me to relapse and i had stayed up the next 7 nights, and had been on such a bad flail, in which i was like spasming, and withdrawling and needed to sleep but the drugs were like just twisting me, so i got 40$ worth of heroin, and 50$ worth of meth, and had put them right in front of her into two syringes, in which she always, notices and demands her half, and this time she was talking to her old friend who she used to sleep with and he was at my house, and she had me destroyed and she let me leave with the two needle containing alot more than enough to overdose me lethally, and i had left and went and made a sale for 50$ got tim hortons, and i had texted her about 20 mins after i left and said, i cant take this shit, and well some other sociopathic type friends had stolen 2 new trucks from my farm family and guns and i was getting blamed, so i was not in a good place in my head, i was so hurt by the fact that people could treat me so horribly and when i just only try to help and find solutions and give and give and honestly give that, that was it for me, i had made the decision that if anyone cares enough about me then maybe i wouldnt die that night, well i waited in my spot out in the field for 3 hours for her to reply and she didnt, so i cried and took one injection thinking this is gonna scary, it hit me and i immedietly felt my whole body start fading to black and then an extreme rush making my heart pound really hard and fast had kept me awake in a very drunk like state, where i was wobling around the drivers seat and she had called me and i was crying and i put it on face time and told her that i was going to make her watch as i inject the second needle because then she might realize that this is what she has done to me and when i needed her by my side whenevr i had seperate problems she was never there, and then maybe she might change herself, and i was dead set, already borderline overdosing, i am trying to get the second needle into a vein and struggling a little thinking to myself if i hit this, this might really be it, im not one to like not go through with something, once i crossed that point yeah i mean i woulda done it thinking to myself ill do half and then another half if im still no overdosed, and right before i could hit the needle a cop opens m car door and commands drop the needle and i fell on the ground and he arrested me then soon realizing it was a suicide attempt he called an ambulance, i blacked out and when i woke up in the ambulance there was blood all over the floor, the emt said he missed the IV, also the cop shouldnt have found me,i beleive it was the work of god, and my exgf sociopathism was satans attempttostopme

    • profile image

      Bre 

      7 weeks ago

      The abuse of malignant narcissistic mother and a covert father that works along side her,duing her dirty work has left me sick,hurting and taking my soul.pure evil and by the time u figure it out leaves u paranoid and damage done to the brain,i couldn't process anything after leaving,i would be walking thru a grocery store crying and not relize it.As a parent i cant even figure why my own parents robed me of my soul,i guess ill never understand.the crazy making,the lies,keeping me confused,and enjoying it.My mothers wide open eyes blank when confronted with no words.When did it start,when do you think hey lets fuck out daughter up? Ive cut ties and havent went to bed once since without crying,i dont know who i am anymore and cant shake it.Evil evil! !

    • EsmeSanBona profile image

      Aisling Ireland 

      2 months ago from Bolingbroke, GA

      Great article. Have you read M. Scott Peck's People of the Lie. After describing experiences I've had with my own family, a friend gave it to me. It is one of the 5 books that literally changed my life. Because pernicious abuse is so, well, pernicious, it's easy to have no idea it's happening to you. I'm glad this subject is getting the attention is deserves. You may have saved a life with this article!

    • profile image

      Rendered nameless 

      2 months ago

      The Antisocial personality disorder sociopath that I got stuck living with now saw my positivity and zest for life years ago as a welcome sign for his childlike destruction. His gaslighting, endless counts of physical abuse/rapes to establish authority made attending school difficult while also raising a child, figuratively. As I write this I am trying to finish the traumatic battle with someone who belongs behind bars, with limited time. This way they do not have any chance of harming anyone else like they have me, nor do they have the chance of spreading this malicious condition.

    • profile image

      2 months ago

      Ive also been thru this for over a decade with my own parents.The covert abuse is done slowly and in my case,they left no trace left behind,other than my own self.I thought near end of dealing with this that i was dying,i was convinced i had a serious problem but due to this abuse eating at me lil by lil thats how it leaves u,a walking dead person.I had to cut ties after i came up on the term gaslighting and there was my life layed out i finally connected the dots that this is making me so ill.I was isolated,didnt want to do anything or be seen by anyone.I cut ties a year ago and i can't seem to move on and still feel sick,had to go to the ER a month ago with stomach pain,they did test and found something on my pancreas,so now im waiting to see a specialist.Get out as soon as possible,run !! This shit will kill u if u dont.

      Run!

    • profile image

      Mel 

      2 months ago

      This happened to me through a job. Fired three days before Christmas after years and years of covert abuse. Now emotionally and financially crippled and confidence entirely eroded, cannot seem to successfully interview and am about to be homeless. This is deadly shit. These people are as real a threat to humanity as serial killers and pedophiles. They ruin many lives and get away with it.

    • profile image

      Jennifer Burridge 

      2 months ago

      This hits the nail on the head. I'm sharing it to all i love that I've failed in communicating it to, especially due to the gaslighting.. thank you for this... any suggestions on escape having nothing left including a will to live , would be most appreciated:)

    • profile image

      Gia Love 

      3 months ago

      This is exactly what I am living. I can explain it, I can show the proof, I can give details. But I can't. I've locked up. What I will share is that there are lawfirms that have intel contractors invested into them. For those in the upper eschelon of the tax brackets. You probably can afford these services. I believe they cost around a cool million. Chump change to those who sit in the real estate investor market and just use the exchange of real estate to cover any exchange. NDAs (non disclosure agreements) are written and signed. Sealed by the Lawfirm with a requirement by all Judges in the District Courts to sign in order to release. Every law is broken while those required to hold these people accountable. Turn the other way. They have think about the Real Estate that can't lose its value by name of the perp. There's too much to lose, especially in a State Capitol with the biggest and fattest market growing with the Intel Communities, Government, Technology, Entertainment, the white collar, grade A University' of the South. Others are aware, acknowledge your situation, but refuse to speak up due to the fear of lawsuit, or other malfeasance. Even they know your kid has been going hell with the perp who now has full custody.

      You try fighting. But after 10 years you simply have zero left.

      Targeted Individuals are real. And what I just shared. Is how.

    • profile image

      Elizabeth Marshal 

      3 months ago

      I am a victim of covert abuse but not by a spouse but by my family. I have been enduring this abuse for more than 10 years

      My life is in danger. My attaker s have control over everything I do. They have control over my phones

    • profile image

      Agent73 

      3 months ago

      K, I am happy for you that you are seeing through all this. I have a suggestion. Keep a journal. I even have a copyright on it. Make certain that no one can find or read it. Diaries can be used against you in court and will be used against you by your persecutor(s). You must keep this a secret.

      The Key to the Universe;

      Revelation One Nineteen

      Write down a brief account of your day, your problems that day, and a list of tasks to do the next day.

      ©1985 Paul Noblin

      Warm Regards... Paul.

    • profile image

      4 months ago

      Mother courage...I too felt all alone. Impossible to imagine this happening to me unthinkable that others could be put through the same abuse. 17 years of marriage and it took me finally getting control of my alcohol abuse to see what was going on. And yes, once we realize what they are and expose them then they get brutal. Do and say things that you never could have imagined. Then realize the abuse that we’ve been out through for years was actual abuse and not expected and acceptable because of what we did to cause them to behave that way. And then to realize that they have been “training” your own children to believe and choose a world that they created with lies. That they choose to sacrifice their own children’s future selves and relationship with their own mom. And for what? Probably different in every situation but for me it was that my husband, who was 25 years older than me, loved very young hookers. They meant more than me, his children, and whatever they had to do was just icing on the cake. It is something that, unless you have lived it, you will never know the hell. And I never thought myself to be naive. Never was I weak in the terms of needing to have someone that would make me stay in a marriage that went bad. But this will sideswipe you, leave you confused and trying to make sense of it, leave you paralyzed with sadness and make you a shell of who you used to be. That’s what being married to true evil will do. Married to someone that tries to make you so sad and hurt you relentlessly in hopes that you will kill yourself. You can know someone going through this, you can hear their stories and listen to their pain for days and days but you will never truly understand what it’s like. It is hell on earth. And prayers for anyone going thought this. Crawl out of that dark empty space and do anything you can think of to bring yourself some happiness, if only for an hour a day to start out with. Slowly that hour will turn into two, then three, and so on. And understand that you’ll have days that knocks you on your ass and you feel like nothing again, but keep trying. Don’t give up. Have have that one day it won’t hurt to live and someone else has their live to live and not yours...so take yours back!!!

    • profile image

      Sarah A 

      4 months ago

      Thank you so much from this article. I am a mother of 3 married 14 years going through extreme covert abuse. Im so sorry for any of you going through this. Im in the middle of having a mental brake down. Good informative article. God bless

    • profile image

      ginger petito 

      4 months ago

      The way to get out is find someone to help you. family, friend, co-worker, pastor, rabbi, priest, social worker. There is a way out and that way is an ORDER OF PROTECTION!!! This is all emotional, psychological and physical abuse. These Narcisistic Sociopaths are evil monsters and they will you use, abuse you, set you up and laugh in your face while they do it. They know exactly what they do and actually get a thrill out of it. So please get out and get an Order of Protection (Restraining Order) to protect you so you may find the strength to recover and get your life back. I have had experience with these monster and can tell you that the minute I got the Order of Protection on my last boyfriend, it has stopped him in his tracks. Please, please, please consider getting an Order of Protection. Document everything. Keep a log of the harassment and stalking and abuse with dates and times, recordings, emails and any witnesses and get to your local court house for this order. It'll be the best thing you could do to help yourself and your children. Be safe and God Bless

    • profile image

      Becoming the real King I was born into Royalty,step aside poser 

      4 months ago

      Again here we find an arrogant blind mislead by his own pathetic jealous lunatic who proves on talented individuals who they wish they could be. You you you you this you that all that energy wasted on disrupting gifted individuals, just a fabricated illusion of distraction and jealousy, if you put just as much energy into harrassing geniuses you might point that finger at your envious heartless bittered little person you are. Stay in your on lane, for you that means off the street and freeway and out of our way. We are destined for greatness you curb enthusiast. Words cut deep, but what hurts more is when you ignore a critically mentally abused human being by your hands continuous pleads to STOP. I stand up to bully's like you , don't afraid to defend your self, make noise m, make reports keep logs file a harassment case the laws on cyber harassment are changing with the help of people like me who prove their cases with documentation screen shots and reporting all data to authorities, believe me there are a lot of us out there so take a stand or you will regret it, this will make you stronger. Everyday is another chance to turn it all around. Don't worry I'm forwarding this chain to Facebook, let's take the bullies out of their pathetic behind the desk at home in pajamas ass at make them famous!! It's what they want apparently they gloat on sites like github, he's probably on their too. Good luck warrior!!

    • profile image

      Mother Courage 

      4 months ago

      I've been married to a narcissist/psychopath for 34 years. Since I found out about his real character 4 years ago and uncovered him my life is a living hell. He manipulated everybody around me including my children, 32 and 26. I thought my daughter who just finished her masters in counseling!! the irony!! would understand and help but just the opposite happened.I realized he was cheating, manipulating, lying, being in total control, withholding sex and blaming me for it, making all decisions all these years and I was so terribly blind. Now I'm sitting here, so very sick, depressed and lonely because nobody is believing me.I'm so at my end.

    • sparkster profile imageAUTHOR

      Marc Hubs 

      4 months ago from United Kingdom

      Quite a story, I'm sorry you've had to go through this. I say that the truth will always come out in the end - even if it does take time (many years). Are you still in a relationship with this man?

    • profile image

      Shelley 

      4 months ago

      I’ve been married to this kind of man for 28 years. The first 10 years we’re pretty nice, he really charmed to me And he seems so devotefd & life seemed good. But then my daughter was born and she became to him a way to control and manipulate me. I can see this all now. As soon as she was old enough to communicate with him he began undermining her relationship with me. He seemed very devoted to her, but she was only to him a weapon of control and power. Whatever I did no matter how appropriate and good it was, he turned it around to make it look as if I was crazy and abusive. It really was systematic brainwashing. And he indulged her.her and gave her whatever she wanted and never said no. He was always the good cop and I was always the bad. Things have become so horrific that my life is a living nightmare. Is it likely that she will see things for what they really are when she finally leaves home? I hope and pray she will because she is the world to me. What kind of a man needs to destroy a child’s love for her mother? It’s sheer wickedness...

    • profile image

      San D Warren 

      4 months ago

      I've been married 28 years to a covert narcissist. I am just now understanding this evil I've been married to. I was love bombed at the age of 29 by this handsome doctor at the hospital I worked. Married 9 months after our first date. Children started arriving 2 years later. He eventually talked me into giving up my nursing license and be a stay at home Mom. Over the past 25 years he has somehow managed to take away my self-worth, gives me an allowance of $200 a week to buy groceries and household needs. If I go to grocery store I have to show receipts and am only allowed to stay gone 2-3 hours.

      He is considered the most well respected person in our small town. He gives away around $50,000 a year to those he deems in need and then makes sure everyone somehow knows of his generosity. i am constantly reminded by all how lucky I am to be married to such a fine, generous Christian man.

      I still stay at home only because now I suffer from Chrohn disease as diagnosed by his colleague. I weigh around 95 pounds and have no energy and strength. It is not Chrohns but stress related from being belittled about everything I say and do by him, in private of course. He is constantly telling me I have severe psychological issues, yet refuses me access to any therapist. I am a nervous wreck when he comes home waiting to see what he will say to me. Yes, he is slowly killing me and laughing in my face.

    • profile image

      BTworkingthearpy 

      4 months ago

      My brother and his wife read a old book called the art of warfare then they applied to me so I’d be their source of entertainment which held their marriage together because I was the Only one who they could do it and get away with it because at the time. I had no idea about adult protective services for people with even mental disabilities. They exploited me over money they wanted and my brother ps interest came from our mother whom I’ve never had a relationship with it. She also played the same game which was spelled out above within this article. My brother is now divorced and I’m way way way worst off. Because I was their toy as they told me or knew they were abusing me ( Ie my mother) because they could and no one cared yet I had a huge career that they harmed. Never was the same ever now I have PTSD etc I loved my brother yet just like his mother. He can’t love

    • profile image

      Cynthia Hubert 

      5 months ago

      This article hits home with me! I feel the same identity crisis in my life now. I have never felt more obligated to do something about this. I feel that this person who is outside of my awareness is trying to make me feel guilty about everything while (they) have their life in order with husband, marriage, kids, etc. But they will do anything to make me feel bad about having anyone special in my life. They constantly make me feel worried and trapped. They create this horror flick and then act like they are saving me from it. I can't stand how someone can be this manipulating and consider themselves my suppose "soulmate". You made me commit murder, and now you are slowly trying to make me question my insanity cause this is what manipulators do.

      I was driven to a place of madness, first kidnapped out of my bed then drugged and used for a wreckless crime. I was driven mad before all this, then insulted and told that I was going to die and be shot in the back of my head if I didn't pull the trigger. I was then blackmailed by everyone within " their community" and multiple videos were sent out. Imagine taking someones innocence and now trying to make them feel bad. I know that no matter how hard she tries this will never make sense to their communities and plays . The acting the fake egos and the snakes. As all one in one goes they are created to sabotage and hurt others.

      So at the end who is the true victim ?

      The one who forcefully tortured the victim or the abuser?

      You decide who has to live with this energy?

    • profile image

      Suzanne Marie Sheppard 

      5 months ago

      I can’t take it anymore! I have nothing and no one left.

    • profile image

      YouNa 

      5 months ago

      I've been living this for the last 10 years I've identified what it is that I'm living in within the last 2 to 3 years. It is absolute INSANITY. Evil truly is the the correct adjective. Luckily I'm a strong male who has stood up to this and has put personalities such as these in there place and things have gone more covert but there is absolute hatred between myself and in-laws. HATRED. We maintain for public perception and they maintain to look like the innocent party to their daughter but it's absolutely CRAZY. Like recording of conversations calling my extended family in other States to spread drama, gossip and lies. Gaslighting is a very natural trait of theirs so much so that it's like breathing for them. Every counselor that I've been to and my mother has been to because of all of this has said this is the worst case they've ever heard.

      I need a real therapist who specializes in this and unfortunately they're are none that specialize or that are qualified in my area. Are there any the counsel through the web with web cams?

      As my friends have said this could escalate into a very grave or dire situation.

    • profile image

      C Lero 

      5 months ago

      This is being done to me

    • profile image

      Aaron Joseph Deloreto 

      6 months ago

      A woman named madison turley did this to me and i believe she is doing this to others

    • profile image

      6 months ago

      I'm going through all this now and for almost 7 years. All I want is just to die already though I'm not old. But I really don't have anyone to turn to. I can't take any more stress. He doesn't like when I feel happy, doesn't like when I'm sad, there's no winning, im exhausted and I can't see the end of it, I don't have anything in my life to make it possible to leave and continue living

    • profile image

      Sharon 

      6 months ago

      mine is long distant emotional abuse.. Stonewalling.. He made out he loved me and we had a few weeks together.. After an argument he hit me.. And he came back this year and refused to see me.. All made me very depressed .. This has been 3/ half years.. Now I'm blocked again.. He seemed a lovely man and it's all made me very poorly.. I tried to take my own life.. It's hell .. I still love him....

    • profile image

      Bea 

      6 months ago

      My husband is a blend of personality disorders he'll never seek help for. I spent 27 yrs waiting for moments of love that came and left so fast, they hardly matter. I was a normal person with hopes and abilities, and just enough self-doubt to think I needed someone to love me. In the end,still married, after a fear-based existence for decades. I have no one, and I am upset with myself for wasting my perfectly good life with this asshole. I am 61, and he is the only thing making me feel old. I thought of suicide, but he'd make that work for him. Because of his influences, I became agoraphobic, OCD, and chronically ill. I gave up my career and friends to isolate myself on an island of despair and unworthiness. He made me crazy, or crazier, because I obviously was crazy-I saw "The Burning Bed", and still married him... Point is, I am done being punished, and now seek to reward myself for still being here, alive, and with a future that I will control - because I woke up this morning knowing I am done. I embrace the battle ahead, because I am leaving hell behind and saving the rest of my life, whatever it takes. When I met my husband, he asked what I wanted most in life. I said, "Happiness at any cost.", and now I know the cost. I send a hug to each one of you who have suffered the loss of love, trust, and vision in yourselves while devoting your lives to someone else's needs. Forgive and love yourself and make your own dreams come true. The difference is that narcissists can only act like that, YOU can experience true emotion and heal.

    • profile image

      Kim Morton 

      6 months ago

      I went from the frying pan into the fryer. I grew up in an abusive family or I should say and abusive father. He was a destructive alcoholic, and my mother brother and I used to follow him to his various bars with our bags packed. One bar that comes to mind was called The Body Shop. I grew up thinking the abuse was a normal way of life. My husband that I just divorced a year and a half ago was a covert narcissist I was married over 15 years to him. am I divorced him my dad took over again and controlled me. He was a straw buyer when I purchased my home and put $58,000 down and have made every single payment since because I couldn't qualify for the loan after my divorce. my dad is now trying to take my home away from me. He's close to two of my bank accounts he's got me fired from my job he made me take a leave of absence because he couldn't handle my mother who's a zombie now because of years of abuse from him so she moved in with me he was supposed to pay me and never did I had to go on welfare because I was at work for 3 months and now he's taking my home because he thinks he can even though I pay for everything. I thought about suicide more than once. I'm done I'm absolutely freaking done! I'm 51 years old and have never been able to live my life for me

    • profile image

      Survivor 

      6 months ago

      There should be a law to protect us or at least help

    • profile image

      survivor 

      6 months ago

      this needs to be in film

    • profile image

      survivor 

      6 months ago

      for half a century an older sibling has been doing this to me

    • profile image

      Anon 

      6 months ago

      Same thing here. GF has been keeping a homless person by the name of Noelle Dionne. Money, car, food, health. Gotten to the point where he breaks in and sleeps in the house while we are asleep. Im afraid for my life

    • profile image

      Beth 

      6 months ago

      I had a boyfriend like this.He had me a complete mess mentally.I already suffered from depression and Asperger's syndrome etc.

    • profile image

      Tim Taylor 

      6 months ago

      I never realized there was such a thing until a dear friend showed me this article. Wow, I was blown away. I spent the last 20 years of my life with the person I thought was my best friend. She alienated me from my friends and family telling me time and time again they didn't care about me until I started to believe her. Multiple Affairs over 20 years and I stuck around believing that I couldn't get any better. That I was the problem. Everything was all my fault and she was Vindicated for all the wrongs she done to me. I admit I'm a little old school and I believed that my vows were important. She's taking my dignity, my happiness, my humility, and drove me to the brink of suicide several times. But I promise you one thing she will never take my soul. Thank you for this I opening article.

    • profile image

      Suzy Kue 

      6 months ago

      Outstanding! Actually, my abusive ex-husband (divorced October 1996) stalks using adult children, family members, "friends", tracking currently on vehicle, etc. sent this noose hanging article to me February 2018

    • profile image

      aaron delrey 

      6 months ago

      i am writing this to bring to light what has been happening to me . i have been harrassed online and driven to the brink of suicide by . an ex fling that turned out to be as evil as they come. she stole my credit card info . hwr and her friends have hacked into my phone bullied me . and now im suicidal here name is MADISON Turley

    • profile image

      Randy Lahee 

      6 months ago

      I'm probably going to

    • profile image

      Randy Lahee 

      6 months ago

      I've been a victim of this for a while gaslighting psychological torture basically the people who are doing this source of Rich Kidz I think that they can get off by doing this to people that they think that

    • profile image

      Randy Lahee 

      6 months ago

      Ive been a victim of covert abuse for 3 months the girl who does it to me has been doing to impress some guy they also took me in and identity theft scheme

    • profile image

      nj 

      6 months ago

      Amazing - this is EXACTLY what happens

    • profile image

      Dragonfly789 

      6 months ago

      This is the best article Ive ever seen detailing the soul crushing experience ive had

    • profile image

      Debbie 

      7 months ago

      My Xhusband has put me through hell with what he did. His abuse has put me in the hospital twice because I was suicidal. I never knew who l married until we separated after l found out he was cheating. He was very good with his deception. For ten years he acted as if for most part he loved me. If anyone acts the one thing l knew was he loved me and would never cheat. I found out cheating was just a part of it. He tried to kill me one night. He had hooked up a propane tank to our dryer inside our home. I questioned it over and over again but in the end l knew he loved me and would never hurt me. I could not have been more wrong. I found out he had talked to his best friend about divorcing me. I found out 3 months after we married he was writing an old girl friend asking to stay the weekend with her. I found out he was telling everyone l forced him to adopt our daughter. I found out he had tricked me into signing a quit deed and never wanted me to move into our home we had just bought. But the thing l found out that turned my world upside down was he had never loved me and the night that l suspected that he tried to blow up the house with me in it was confirmed when l received the VA hospital report where he said over and over he had homicide feelings towards me and in his own words " could eliminated his problem (me) and make it look like an accident. Reading how he really felt about me took me to my lowest point in life. This man who said and acted as if he loved me had never loved me, it was all an act. He was incapable of loving anyone. He had no empathy, guilt or remorse he was a psychopath. The mind games he played left me questioning my life and myself. While l loved this man and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him he wanted me dead so he could move on from our life together. I try to explain to people the pain of knowing the man l loved with all my heart just wanted my heart to stop beating. In a lot of ways it has. I will never be the same but l will not be quiet either. Keeping quiet let's these people continue to abuse people in the most horrendous way. They strip you of everything you are and something what you have too. I will not let what happen to me be forgotten, l can't. I will tell my story over and over again until change happens and people are heard. Intill the abusers are held accountable for their actions. One of the worst things for me was knowing this government employee told his co-workers he want to kill me. He told the VA hospital he wanted to kill me. The police knew he wanted to kill me but noone told me he wanted to kill me. This left me feeling alone and worthless. It made me feel l was not worth saving. That l was nothing in comparison to this government employee. This in the end left me wanting to take my own life. How unfair. Things need to change and it has to be soon before others do take there own life or the abuser takes the life of the abused.

    • profile image

      haizel 

      7 months ago

      so I could explain what happened last several years but owell. nothing can be done now, and do I even know what to do.

    • profile image

      Michele. 

      7 months ago

      That was so well written and it dies help a little to know that there is someone out there who.... knows.....thank you.

    • profile image

      Annonymous GF 911 

      7 months ago

      I'm in a relationship with a narcosist sociopath but we live out in the country with his parents and sister it's like the whole family is narcosists sociopaths I need help where do I go

    • profile image

      Fucked over by ex and tx courts 

      7 months ago

      Reading the stories exactly what I'm having to go through and exactly how I feel and a struggle with defending myself because it's my daughter's mother I struggle with what's right and what's wrong and what it what should I do and how can I do it and is there any way that I can do this without hurting anybody. A friend told me I'm fighting evil there is no rules and then if I don't stop it and do something it'll continue. But how do you document something like this how do you catch them and how do you get enough evidence that proves what they're doing since these people don't admit or have a conscience or assuming responsibility there's got to be some way to expose them. Before I met my ex-wife everything I did and put my effort into him I found success in it somehow I found something good in it and I learn something and I enjoyed it and I experienced something it's all I can do to get up out of bed anymore my child is being abused by having me cast out of the house state of Texas is abusing me because of the false charges and the false accusations my ex-wife is made I'm basically been sold into slavery and I'm committing a felony as we speak because I can take care of my child both of us I don't make that kind of money. I felt suicidal at times and I admit the future looks bleak I've even stopped, let's just say that the only way I see it getting out of this is to abandon my child and everything I love and if I'm lucky I can start over that's if I can scrape up the money to buy a new identity in the new life and leave everything behind that I love or I can commit suicide or I can continue to live like this and she can get away with it then my child will turn out just like her and everything is just like she wanted it my ex-wife of course

    • profile image

      Randy Saunders 

      7 months ago

      I am a Navy veteran from 1975. After I got out and went into college where I'm at my sweetheart and married her. We were married 33 years and she passed away 6 years ago to cancer in my arms and the house that she grew up in we bought it and remodeled it. It's on the Chesapeake Bay so we see the sunrise every morning.

      We had a lucrative business until 9/11 happen. I started noticing communist negative input in our lives. Around 1990 I started becoming more and more where I'm stalking against me. Slander and other issues physical assaults, mental assaults, and our beloved police officers stalking me and laughing and pointing and making comments about me when people were around. Shortly after I lost my father and my mother which we were all the family business. In 1998 I was forced from our business where we started working in other jobs we both had two to three jobs at any given time. Through powers of observation I learned that the police were coming in behind me on my job sites and making comments shortly after I was fired. This is been going on for quite some time. The most recent was when I was working for a medical supply Corporation as a Stitcher but keeping another job as a canvas maker. I'm a second-generation upholster. 2 years after I'd lost my wife, things really started getting depressed. I didn't necessarily turn to drugs and or alcohol. But I would have an occasional beer. That was just to take the edge off. I was being stalked everywhere I went by police officers and other private citizens, all making hideous comments and spreading rumors. Well I have quite a few friends around and they started noticing things happening to me also. On multiple occasions lady and Men friends would approach me, and notify me of what was going on but they did not want to get involved, which I can understand that. Well long story short I have been beaten down teeth knocked out by no less than 12 individuals one time and the cop said it was simple assault. The second time they came around they came around with a shotgun and aimed it at me in front of my house. Since the law wouldn't take it to anything other than a simple assault after calling them they didn't show for an hour and a half. Mind you I'm only 15 minutes away from the station. So to keep this in perspective I had to defend myself and I did and I haven't seen him since. Anyway I have gotten a second DUI after having a beer and now I'm forced to ride a bicycle for no less than 11. I've been run off into the ditch twice by some of the locals and nearly killed. Well when I had reported it in face to face with one of the deputy sheriff's, the comment was were there any Witnesses? I replied no I guess they're just too good for that to get caught. He kind of puffed up and said there's nothing he could do call him next time here is his card. So after talking with a few of the close friends with in the neighborhood they informed me that I was a Target and that nobody is to believe me or trust me and that I was crazy. So I had to sell my home and I took a hundred 32500 hit on it. I had a certain amount of time to get out, now I found out yesterday I was taken to court buy the new homeowner and I have only 10 days to get out from today. I have no help anywhere to move or any place to go to except out in the street. Mind you I have over 45 years worth of belongings antiques paintings probably $5,000 in hand tools and sewing machines not including other miscellaneous equipment such as trailers and vehicles. After 10 days there will be lots put on the doors so I can't return. And according to Virginia law that they have a right to do that. I have rescue animals that I love dearly, and Records and files pictures Etc of my past life with my wife. I know I'm being extorted by the law because I have to pay around 15 to 20 thousand after all is said and done and then maybe ASAP let me have my license back in 2020. There is no way possible I can survive on the street till 2020 and possibly maybe get my license back. The lawyer I had is local and I found out he's in the click. As a matter of fact the last person I was working for in the construction field was a neighbor an arrogant son of a b**** that has more money than brains has all kinds of hot rod cars motorcycles boats ADI ADI Adi. As a matter of fact he has possession of a trailer that would help me move and hasn't brought it back in over 2 years. Well he made the statement to a couple of my lady neighbors that really liked me that he was going to take me out and put me down don't have to call the ambulance to pick up the pieces. Mind you I have done nothing but good for him made him plenty of money and all he does is puts people down a true narcissist and sociopath and Bully 10 years my younger with no respect for nothing but his on. He's even made comments that I was a queer ass sailor and that infuriated me to no end, that was the last straw I walked off and haven't been back since. I just happened across this article as I was Googling for some help to save my life. I have no one to help me and I don't know who to turn to or what to do accept end it all.

      I pray for all these people and everyone that has going through this stalking and metal murder because that's exactly what it is. It's so funny that our government that is sworn to protect us isn't doing a damn thing and that's coming from a Christian believe it or not. Yes I'm angry but I have to forgive the people. I do not forgive the evil they do however.

      I've been researching over the web about gang stalking and the intent and the harm that they impose on others for whatever reason.

      Through research and self testing I believe that I am a injt personality which makes up about 2% of the world population. I have some psychic abilities from my mother's side. If you would like to learn more about it you can go to spread the light net worth or are angels watching over us not words on YouTube and it's quite enlightening. I've always been a quiet individual a lover and a hugger not a hater and a fighter.

      I know there are angels watching over me all of the signs are there. However I've come to the point in my life I have no other recourse except to go sideways unless I can find some help. And I'm not talking about suicide hotline or psychiatric help because everything I've done and said to him they look at you like you're crazy. Will it just so happens I'm quite sane and I'm not going off half-cocked. Only have two nephews left in life and they have their own lives to live.

      I sent my last will and testament to one of my nephews yesterday, funny thing is yesterday was my late wife's birthday she would have been 60. I keep hearing her voice saying it will be alright sweetheart will be here for you. And it's one of the most quiet and calm and at peace with myself as best can be. There are signs that angels are watching over saw. A butterfly, a cardinal, and eagle or Hawk, and or a song on the radio or my pets coming up and laying on me. These are only a few signs that I'm personally watched over. So I pray for all of us to hurt Souls that are going through something similar or even worse. I really want to live but I know I can't and this is probably my last text that I will do to anyone except my nephew just before in my life. I've really been praying because I really want to live, but there's no possible way to find another home or place to live or any way to get there. I guess what really gets to me is that all these people that want to be heroes or nothing but zeros because they just want to come in and stop a suicide to make themselves look good as so many people are doing nowadays. I was always brought up and a good Christian environment and I know it's wrong to take any life. But to hear how police and the law and judges are doing nowadays we're all just headed for a downfall anyway. There is no upbeat to life any longer. I really don't want pity from anyone, I won't accept charity because there are people that are in worse shape than I am to believe it or not. I can only ask for any Christians or believers to pray for my soul. Is there anyone that can help? Please RSVP me. Thank you

    • profile image

      Gbm 

      7 months ago

      This is me. Married as a teen and it had been 18 years of hell. This article hit home. I have 3 kids and one with very severe disabilities. Have asked for divorce but have no money and he refuses, says he will drag me through the mud leaving me in the streets like the garbage I am. I have lost my family, my friends. I’m no one. I have nothing. I own zero. Not even a dollar to my name. He did well in leaving me financially dependent on him even legally. I feel like I need to end myself, but who am leaving my kids with? I can’t do that to them. They’ll be grown in a few more years. I have accepted happiness is not meant for me.

    • profile image

      Who cares 

      7 months ago

      This is my life and I’m hanging on by a mere thread. I’m at the end. She has taken all, and it just goes on and on and I see no end in site. I had a life, and it is gone. I am gone. I am tired to the bone. My kids have been what I have stayed alive for. That is nearing an end as I sit with an overwhelming mountain of spousal support past due and child support past due. Well into the hundreds of thousands. I truly gave it my best, I really did. I gave her everything I had emotionally, financially. I literally have not one thing left to give anyone. It will never end. Never. Unless I suppose I commit myself to a state asylum as mentally incompetent or insane. Or allow them to put me in jail for the support debt. Who wants those options? That’s no life. I hope my spirit somehow carries something forward that helps shine a light on the system and how women can use and abuse it to legally destroy, lie, steal and murder a soul. But something tells me it won’t happen that way. In fact pretty sure if it it. Either way, there is literally no reason to live. So I am not going to anymore.

    • profile image

      Amycrad6 

      7 months ago

      This was my life for 28 years and six children. I thought if I just kept trying, if I do what he says, if I’m a better Christian wife! I kept thinking it would get better but he got meaner, and more abusive not to mention affairs! Good loving friends tried to tell me on several occasions over the years but I was so busy with our children I literally thought he couldn’t possibly have time!!!! That is why we finally divorced because I accidentally uncovered an affair with a woman 20 years younger that me! Good times! Lol The last 7 years of our marriage I wasn’t allowed any money because “ I couldn’t handle it” not even allowed to buy groceries!!! I could go on and on! I finally divorced him but had to move out of my beautiful home and 10 acres! His new wife and he live in it now and I still struggle to stand it!!!! My 6 children and most everyone I ever knew has loved me but lately my daughter I. Laws are acting weird to me I really feel it has to do with him. I want to keep trying in this life but it’s so hard! I don’t like shopping much because he always called me disgusting, fat lazy and I feel everyone probably thinks that! Most friends family etc. are great to me but sometimes I just feel ruined! I don’t date at all and don’t even give good eye contact to men because it’s so uncomfortable!!! But I do love men!!! Most of my children are men and they are great! I don’t know how except Gods grace! I feel if I can just understand maybe I can get better!

    • profile image

      Jessicalee00 

      8 months ago

      My heart aches reading this article. I wish people could see thru the man I married. I have done exactly what this article said some would do. I've come to the point that I no longer have the strength to fight back and just go with it. If I could leave I would in a heartbeat. I just don't have it in me anymore because he will continue to do what he's done in the past when I got the courage to go the first and the second time. And that was to completely destroy me mentally and ruin my reputation as much as he could. He does a good job at that. He's great at telling people even the ones who don't know me that "I'm crazy" and "I'm overdramatic". He'll tell people about an incident that occurred but he'll only say his version and not what really happened. I feel like a bird in a cage. Just recently today he randomly blurts out that it texting a " him". There's no him. I'm in the house almost 24/7 minus an hour or so to go the store. Literally, have no time for a "him". I'm not given any time to be out longer than I should at the store. If I am my cell phones ringing asking where I am. The fire inside me has gone out and I've now excepted that this is how my life is and this is the man I married. No one would believe me for a second. He knows how to talk. He is fantastic at it. He's always been. He did a great job speaking to me when he first met me. He intrigued me. Please don't ever jump to conclusions when you meet a sweet talker. You never know what you'll get yourself into.

    • profile image

      Robin 

      8 months ago

      My sister is goin threw the the very exactly same thing describe here, there should be somethin that can be done about this level of cruelty, anger, almost have to call it punishable, etc.. if there are plz let me know, my sister doesn’t have much longer w/us, she has a rare form of cancer, (incurable at that) & this constant torment, & so many others to go along w/it, I worry for her

    • profile image

      SAMANTHA 

      8 months ago

      Thank you. I just think I never have proof. Its going on for 6yrs. Maybe longer. I have escaped for 10mos but whoever it is found me

    • profile image

      Jurlone 

      8 months ago

      So what happens when it's the woman doing it to the father. When the father did nothing wrong but be good to his kids work like a man supposed to love his family. What happens when that man has done everything possible for a woman that is taking out every issue in her life on that man that did good for her. What happens when that woman slept with a 22 year old little boy and was 35 years old while that man not only has been gone to service country three times in Iraq but works down here in the oil field long hours to support his family. Then still manages to take his daughter to softball come home at 10:30 at night play with his youngest daughter till midnight and then turn around and get up at 3 a.m. every freaking day. A man that is always gone out of his way to help people a man that believes in God. And also a man that have been cheated on multiple times while deployed in Iraq and in his own home here while his oldest daughter watched it unfold but he's such a bad man right.

    • profile image

      yvonne radford 

      8 months ago

      my mother has now passed away, but she too has suffered this past 1 1/2 years I too am still suffering, as this arsehole had deliberately destroyed a mother/daughter relationship. where do I go from here, I cannot just let it go,l this arsehole and his carer should pay for their crimes.

    • profile image

      MaryLynn 

      8 months ago

      This is exactly what is happening to me. I think I figured out who's behind it. I dated a Special Agent to the Attorney General years ago. He was a real asshole. Stalked me, harrassed me, slept with my best friend and sister and her friends, running around behind my back. Went in my children's room with at year old babysitter, touching my daughters year old friend. She told me he reminded her of her father who was serving time in jail for raping her and her sister. When I angrily confronted him on these he got extremely angry, turned my daughter against me saying I was crazy. He cost me my job at Merck he stalked me there and my poor son who was on chemo literally ripped the bathroom door off the hinge because he couldn't take the stalking. He would pound on my door all hours of the night, ring the phone incessantly. When I tried to get away from him Nd date someone else he would talk me. Because he was a "special agent" for the Attorney General couldn't do anything. For years all this crazy stuff has been happening, and his army of abusers have stalked, harassed, falsely accused, trying to ruin my reputation, every job, crazy making. Every time I try to get help no one helps. He has access to all court records. Stuff put on my background that doesn't belong there. Neighbors went in collusion against me, police aided with them and afterwards all 4 of them had brand new cars in their driveways. ALL THESE THINGS ARE GASLIGHTING BY A NARCISSISTIC/SOCIOPATH AND I AM IN CONSTANT FEAR FOR MY LIFE!

    • profile image

      Jamie Yonn 

      8 months ago

      Parischere Hughes

      I'm terribly sorry for this experience and I hope you find a born-again believer and a way away from that town. Start keeping names of the officers and people who may knowing or unknowingly violate your rights and put you in danger.

    • profile image

      Parischere hughes 

      8 months ago

      Omg this is it. Ive reached so far for help to get away but noone helped and now everything is gone and I'm helpless he is sick and hurts me and my children and he makes me the crazy one to others omg I'm crazy cuz I'm sick of trying to be heard and defend my honesty about whats go in on and no one really knows now even after all efforts for help cps placed my kids with the monster help me please my kids cannot live that lofe but noone will even hear me. And hes turned everyone against me my small family friends cops cops and I have done everything to protect my kids he constantly threatens my life or sends people ive never seen before that if I dont drop restraining order they will kill me omg I need help and then he comes and takes my girls and cps wont even listen he is gonna kill me and now all his sidekicks my family are calling me names accusing of things ive never done and have left me abandoned with no support I'm seriously going crazy how can I make them see this cops wont arrest him after beating me so bad in the back of the head with a 50 lb bag of frozen meat and a boulder the size of my head when I watched him walk away yes I went crazy and lost it and I called for help didnt touch him or even see it coming didnt even say anything and he did this in front of my kids. And after all the evidence proof and my girls telling the cops after the many yrs of abuse to see him walk sent me off the edge and I also head serious head injuries and lumps and concussion and then the cops call and say I may be on drugs I wasnt at all so cps came at me and placed. With him my kids screamed and told them no my daddys so mean and they didnt have no best interest of my children I'm left alone to deal trying to follow a stupid plan for cps I live 26 miles from town I have no vehicle he fucked it up no friends no family no support and ive walked there yes 26 one way 26 back the last 3 days begging the police haven cps greater impact love Inc hospital and self help and much more to please please please help me they are killing me to the point I wanna use drugs to cope I have no money no nothing he wouldnt allow me to work broke anything of mine worth value and hasnt help support his kids for the last 6 months I'm about to hike to california tho be heard by the supreme courts I dont know what to do please someone help me

    • profile image

      Sharon Kunkel 

      8 months ago

      @Day by day our stories are alike except it is my younger brother.

    • profile image

      Debra Roncancio 

      8 months ago

      DON'T GIVE UP.... debraroncancio@gmail.com My story will be heard. My abuser will not win. I am a mother and I will protect my children. VICTIMS WILL BE HEARD.

    • profile image

      Debra Roncancio 

      8 months ago

      To all the victims that have a Narcopathic and Sociopathic abuser in your life. Have faith bc I have been a victim for 20 years. I have already died and was brought back to life by God. Don't let your abuser win. We are strong and we the victims shall rise again. Don't give up. FIGHT BACK. LISTEN TO ME...... Here is my direct number for all who needs help. I'm going to make a live video and present to the world of my Narcopathic and Sociopathic abuser, my husband will not win. I will not die. 713 301-1169. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. IN GOD'S NAME I PRAY FOR ALL OF YOU.

    • profile image

      Butter Bou 

      9 months ago

      I need to stop my narc sibling. This abuse has taken everything from me and now is about to end my life. I can't live my life any more so I'd rather no live! Please help!!! No one takes me seriously even though I have proof.

    • profile image

      Day by day 

      9 months ago

      Forgot to mention that I do not use Facebook, so I will be unable to join your Facebook group.

    • profile image

      Day by day 

      9 months ago

      Marc Hubs, thank you for your voice in this article, as you speak for so many of the victims out here. I have tremendous empathy for you all.

      I will add another: A biologic brother, two years older than me. He has no feelings whatsoever, except for himself. In fact the entire planet was made for only him.

      I have been his victim (a female) since my birth, because my existence meant that the light did not shine only on him any longer and he could not live in a shared existence. It would take too long to go into what I have endured, but I almost lost my right leg at age nine because of his disabling and rolling a large water pipe on it; had gifts given to me that were stolen by him; he has stalked me and stole nearly everything from me, including bras and underwear. (No, I am not kidding!) He accuses me of the exact reverse, unbelievable. Everyone believes his lies and thinks he is a wonderful person. Everyone hates my guts and think that I am mentally ill. It continues on but has even become a lot worse since my uncle, (my only living relative that was my witness) has passed away. These are very dangerous and highly destructive individuals. I keep trying to gain something called "happiness" and I am left with turning over rocks in the mud. I do my best with humor. If I can make one person laugh today, it is a good day for me. These people should be locked up in jail and the keys thrown away!

    • profile image

      Chaoticness13 

      9 months ago

      This is my daily life. I'm disable homebound and agoraphobic because of this. It has continued after the death of my parents. I'm now at the mercy of my siblings who have so far taken my children false allegations I proved in court, damage was done as my kids hate me.im alone. They've ha

      D me evicted twice because I don't agree with them left me homeless in a storage unit Bec they can. Noone listens to people like me, rich families are terrible. They have the brother who sexually abused me in charge of my trust funds so everytime I need something I have to ask the guy who raped me. Life is shit. I'm not a believer in suicide or trust I'd been gone long ago.

    • profile image

      Jenuinely 

      9 months ago

      It is Hell and there is nothing you can do about it.

      It is the Government at its finest....You can not Trust

      anything they say or do I am going to keep fighting

      with the Grace of God...I will not let them take my

      Life...I will and am finding the means to destroy everything

      they represent with what they Do to others and myself...They will

      not Win....

    • sparkster profile imageAUTHOR

      Marc Hubs 

      9 months ago from United Kingdom

      arlenewolfer, I have started a group on Facebook called N.A.R.C. - Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Center. If you join, there are other people who are going through or who have been through the same things you are experiencing and who may be able to help. Think of it as a support network to help people such as yourself. I hope you can find the help and advice you need from this group. Thanks.

    • profile image

      Agent73 

      9 months ago

      The Key to the Universe;

      Revelation One Nineteen

      Write down a brief account of your day, your problems that day, and a list of tasks to do the next day.

      ©1985 Paul Noblin

      Read Rev.1:19 (KJV).

      "Write the things which thou hast seen, and the things which are, and the things which shall be hereafter;"

      Write down the past, present, and future.

      Align your inside mind with the outside world (reality including Christ), and you will be one with All.

      Telepath Love & Perfection.

      The past is not fixed. The past is in flux and is constantly changing.

      You can bend reality.

      You are the center of your own Universe.

      Reprogram yourself.

      Warm Regards... Paul.

      Someone tortured and killed my wife via hospital. I can prove it, but I am a paranoid schizophrenic. No one believes me. There is nothing I can do because they will lock me up in a Psychiatric Hospital. All my dignity is gone and my reputation has been trashed. I will stay alive and will never kill myself. I have no desire to hurt anyone. If you can, keep a journal but keep it hidden. Never let anyone read it or even know you are keeping a journal. I can't keep a journal as they want to steal it. Remember, it is not worth it to defend a dump. If you are a victim, get out of Dodge. You don't need to take all of your stuff. If you can, just leave. They may follow you. Move somewhere where you know someone. Don't say goodbye to anyone. I wish you the best. This could happen to anyone. It may not matter, but I love you! Do not feel sorry for yourself and please believe in yourself.

      Warm Regards Again... Paul.

    • profile image

      9 months ago

      Jay D. Sorry for what your going thru alone,I wish I had a person to turn to also as I am alone and nobody understands this hell.Keep going,and good luck

    • profile image

      Anti coverts 

      9 months ago

      Wow.

      I am truly amazed at what I have read here. I thought I was the only person going through something as horrid as a public smear to ruin campaign. Mine unfortunately began early. Adolescent and has followed me. I want to readh out to jay d , scared & Cassandra .. i am amaze don't at each three. All left me speechless & compelled to write here that in someway I'd like to offer support. As insugnifigamt a comment to what you've written may be. Your words (each one of you) telling heart wrenching circumstances that I imagine are pointers to a march latger story. Stay strong. And know that even in your writing here, can ring true to ppl that have experienced similiar. I hope you make it through. Each one of you. I will continue to read other comments. I think it's hard to take, when you can understand the emotion behind what's written as to what's occurring for others. I wish you well. And victory over these.

    • profile image

      Jay D 

      10 months ago

      I am living this 100% as described. My ex wife has stripped me of everything financially, psychologically—humanly. Like others said, I am strong but it’s come to the end. I’ve nothing left to give and I’ve reached this point before, crumbled almost to nothing and jumped back in—this time it’s not going to happen. As described—I have no one, no resources, I feel like I’m trapped in a bad dream but there is no waking up. Career destroyed, character, reputation, most of my family (still connected but no one believes me—astounding and unknown how she got to them but the relationships are surface and awkward and full of white elephants) at best some people remain thinking I’m just a very mentally ill and sad fallen man, part of her schematic, iniated and fortified long ago unbeknownst to me. I’m tolerated as family but not accepted or valued. I’m a because I have to member.

      And we have three kids. They are the only thing that’s kept me fighting. But they are nearing the point of saturated positioning from her as she has physical custody and I only parenting time. I sit isolated and wondering what exactly did I do? Where did I go wrong? I thought I was doing all the things a young man, father then Middle Aged husband and father, educated professional and provider contributing and supporting my family and doing my share for society at large. Why? No crime, not abusive, sole breadwinner with s high paying job, engaged loving father, good son, brother, uncle and friend. She cheated serially for three years before filing for divorce then turning it all on me destructively and surprisingly. I was so blindsided and naive and ashamed for that. No money left no lawyers. No powerful friends or family willing to take a “risk” with my dramatic craziness. I feel like I should try and disappear and live a new life as a different person in author country. I truly do not know what do or where to turn. Maybe my soul has a better place in the next phase of eternal life and this was just a training ground for something, because I can find no other way to reconcile this all. Out of hope and faith.

    • profile image

      Cassandra Ganier 

      10 months ago

      I have been a victim for many years. My ex drugged my son and took him, tried to make me lose my education and easily turned my already messed up family against me. My son is in direct harm as am I. I am also the victim of a management company who is going to get away with murder... Literally. They directly afflicted me into my current deadly state. No medical or legal venue will assist in largest, strongest lawsuit imaginable. I'm very strong mentally, but a person can only handle so much. I fight every day, I am dying every day. Yet no help is on the horizon.

    • profile image

      Scared 

      10 months ago

      Wow... I’m not even sure how to start. I’m so lost. The man I married isn’t that man anymore. He’s someone eles. I’m afraid. I don’t understand. I feel like I’m going crazy. I keep thinking there is something wrong with me. I have zero esteem. I went from being beautiful, to hating myself so badly that I feel the need to either check in or check out. My inner demons are killing me. I’m obsessed with trying to figure this out I can’t even think strait. I know he’s doing this to me, but then I wonder half the time, is it really him? Maybe it’s me. It is me. No, it’s him, you know better! No it’s me. It had to be me. I am all those horrible things he says I am? Am I crazy? Did I do that? Did I say that? Maybe I did. No, I didn’t, I know I didn’t. Or I know I did. Always questioning myself and my sanity. I hate myself. I hate hate hate myself. I’m alone. I’m afraid. I’m confused. I’m terrified. I’m anxious I’m dead. Where did it all go? Where did I go? Who am I? I’m scared of life, I’m scared to get into my car to start my day. I’m afraid of people. What’s everyone thinking about me. Will I fail today? Will I fuck up today? Will I die today? I have no one. I’ve lost every last bit of what I thought I gained. It’s all gone. Who do I reach out to? My friends? Who are they? There just as bad. I’m surrounded by evil. To me the whole planet is full of these people. I’m paranoid. I have lost all trust in everyone and in everything because the person that I love so much and gave myself, my everything to, had destroyed me. God help me please. I’m begging you to save me.

    • profile image

      Crys 

      10 months ago

      What if your mothers a narcissist and my ex and i have a 2 year old who i know isnt his. He cant have kids and im trying to prove she isnt but he did something to the test now hes trying to take her from me. Because ive lost everything thanks to him. Im so scared for my daughter henhas everyone thinking im crazy, my mother helps him and a sister. They wont let me talk to my dad so he thinks im insane. They had my phone tapped people would get in my apartment when i wasnr there. People know where im at and what im doing. Noone believes me .

    • profile image

      Youcan fighthis 

      10 months ago

      I have been living this hell for years and I will tell you right now you are not alone, you are not "crazy"

      You are not defenseless and you can fight back.

      I'm not telling you that you can win this battle(god knows I haven't) but what I will tell you is that you can fight and you can take this personal "hell" and turn it into something that is a less terrifying and dangerous place.

      You can fight this and you can go on.

      The whole point of this is to isolate and silence you....then make you dissapear.

      Never give up---never stay silent---never lay down and give in.

      I promise you that if you fight a battle every day you will discover parts of yourself that you never knew existed.

      You can make this "hell" bleed-

      I promise you that-

      All you have to do is fight back-

      Poke that fu@#&ng bear over and over until it either bites your hand off or turns around and runs away.

      You can make "them" bleed and you can take your life back..

      Never give in- never do what they want-

      They want you to fade away....shine and shine bright...

      You lost your job because of this?

      Go out and get a better one...

      You lost your friends and family?

      Go out and make new friends and reconnect with loved ones...

      You feel like you lost your mind and went crazy. ( you are not crazy-this is real)

      Then find yourself again and tell yourself to never stay down when you fall and keep going...

      You feel like the only way out is to do what "they" want you to do....

      LIVE....LIVE LIKE IT'S THE LAST DAY EVERY DAY...

      I promise you that you are not alone, I promise you that you have a choice in going on and having a beautiful life...

      Like I said I'm not telling you that you can win this battle, but if you fight and give your all every day you will grow and you will discover how capable you really are-

      I've been through the fires of this "hell" and I am still here stronger and more capable than I have been my entire life-

      It's a hard and never ending fight but I promise you that it's worth every drop of blood and sweat you have.

      Never give in...never give up...pick yourself up and keep going...it's worth it...I promise...

    • profile image

      Youcan fighthis 

      10 months ago

      I have been fighting this for years, it's the worst torture and punishment I can possibly imagine...it's like house arrest on death row...I'm not going to tell you that it's possible to win this battle or even get anyone to help you fight.

      What I will tell you is that you can fight.

      You can turn your hell into a lesser place of fear and punishment.

      Take everything that they have used against you and turn it on them.

      They are doing this to eliminate or silence you.

      You have a choice- lay down and give in(what they want) or stand up tell then do there best and never give up the fight, never become silent, never listen to what they want.

      Poke that fu#@*ng bear over and over until it either bites your hand off or runs away, because I can promise you that if you fight a battle every day that you will grow, you will discover parts of youself you never knew existed-

      You are not alone no matter how isolated you feel( thats the point of what they do) but all you have to realize is that your never alone, you can take your hell and turn it into your motivation to turn your life completely around.

      If you want to fight them then do the complete opposite of what they want-

      Lost your job because of this?

      Then get a better one...

      Lost your friends and family?

      Go out and make new ones and reconnect with your loved ones...

      Feel like you going crazy and you have no help?

      Find yourself again (you are not crazy, this is real)and tell yourself to never give up again.

      This is not going to get better for you unless you fight with all you have.

      Like I said I'm not telling you that you can beat this but you can fight.

      You can go on and have a amazing life.

      I promise you, because if you fight a battle and give it your all every single day...you will grow...you will get stronger...and you will live.

      Never stay down and never give up...

    • profile image

      Robbed 

      10 months ago

      My husband the abuser passed away a few months ago and the pain has not subsided - I have PTSD and see a therapist weekly, how do I grieve someone who I despise.

    • profile image

      Gemma Whiteread 

      10 months ago

      This is me right now, he pain is unbelievable in 11 years he has taken just about everything it seems he wants to push me over the edge he keeps coming back i don't bother him last week he love bombed me then next day spent day using word salad confessing and laughing in my face havent bothered him for a week he started texting me off different numbers then today he asked me to go c him spent hours getting ready only to be stood up i cannot c y he asked me to go over want to die

    • profile image

      Connie Llewellyn 

      10 months ago

      Lived this for 22 years....Ex narcopath's fondest dream was to get me to commit suicide. When I refused,he threatened to kill my children, then me, and claim I went crazy and committed a murder suicide. He attempted to poison me, rigged my brakes and gas lines, loosened wheels,etc. I managed to survive his attempts (the Angels were looking out for me). I stayed till my kids were grown, and got out. could not allow them to grow up being alone in a home with that Monster, and his flying monkeys. I left in 1991; he still stalks, threatens, and bad mouths me every chance he gets. My son is completely alienated from me. They don't stop! I live in a different state and don't allow any info about my life to become common knowledge. I'm married to a good man, am happy and safe! Still get triggered from time to time, and seek therapy when necessary. It is hard to find a therapist familiar with NPD, but they're out there. And it does seem almost impossible to get someone who hasn't lived through it to understand, or believe what you have been though! I suggest finding online support groups.And the most important thing is to NEVER let them win!!! I wouldn't consider suicide, because if you do that, they win!! Get help, move on with your life, and survive! They hate that!! Takes away their power.

    • profile image

      Amy Sherrell 

      10 months ago from SE New Mexico

      This is me.....this is my hell that I've been walking thru for the last 13 years .....this is exactly what I'm going thru right now!! I've tried many many different ways to heal or overcome this abuse that my ex husband has inflicted on me but nothing has helped and as time goes on the little bit of happiness or signs of healing is when he ramps the abuse up more and more each time. I've run out of ways to cope and like the article says I feel like no matter what it's not going to stop or ever ease up until I'm dead!! Now I don't want to and will not commit suicide because I do know my kids deserve me in their lives and even though he's taken them from me I still won't give up and walk away like he wants me to. So to punish me this is the kinda hell I'm now living in. I hate it...i hate him....i hate the pain he inflicts on me and my children and everyone around me. I'm so exhausted from fighting it that I swear my soul is even exhausted. And you're right no one ever believes you and all you want is just a way to escape it.

    • profile image

      mainmein 

      10 months ago

      "They generally do so by ostracizing the victim while continuing to act out their part, expertly hiding their truly outrageous behaviour, whilst successfully having everyone around them fooled - everything is done to appease those around them while their manipulative and controlling tactics take place behind the scenes, outside of people's awareness."

      Not outside of their unconscious and subconscious though.

      "People" are programmed by nature to hypnotically make themselves instruments of those whom they chose as their leaders, and to chose as their leaders them who lie the best and the most.

      It's a story retold over and over every day.

      (See Bearh's paper The Hidden Determinants of Human Behaviour, or Trivers's book on self-deception, or Gustav Le Bon's book on the Crowd, or The Gervais Principle on the organizations of human groups.)

      There is a pecking order, everywhere. And the "fooled people" would never allow anybody but the best-pecking rooster/hen to fool them.

      Again: he/she who lies the best and most is always the group's favourite, from "family" to "community" to "class".

    • profile image

      Asmrban8 

      11 months ago

      This is something I'm super into..I feel like this happens to me all the time and has happened to me as long as I have been alive..everyone else is moving forward I'm the focal target of every type of criticism abuse moral analytic smear. I was even in an accident where I was almost killed as a child and as a result it enlarged the scope of narcissim and blanketed me with it leaving me accused of being a money hungry fiendishly greedy person. Leaving me no way yo survive in life seems to be the plot to this whole thing but covering that up by locking me inside or manipulating through media that I'm funny and intelligent leaves a chemical trail of brainwash as if I'm some kind of slug. I've heard the comparison it's a curse of the elephantom...where you are seen as a sluggard that memory and vision is your prison and you're a beast of burden who most likely will hurt others especially children since they're so associated with both young royals and circus entertainment jobs...told my near death experience is my memory of another life that I have lived many lives and I must wait to die to start a new life and this one is over for me. Any help or support I receive promotes jealousy or hate and even abuse and threats...I'm made to not be able to understand my self..I see my abilities and talents as narcissims and that I have false perceptions of reality as a whole...even as a weightlifter I'm told that I'm not as strong as I think and I will never grow or look good even that I may die or be killed so that I may not succeed by looks alone. I experience sabotage on various levels all the time...it's like a movie..head aching put a bullet in my brain to stop it level of interference. It hates my sobriety which is pleasant and easy and I've oppositely been arrested and instutionalized for use of legal substances in my own home...I mean beer and cannibis and tobacco...I was told I was insane given labotomizers and poisoned various times by that side of the contingency and all that is supposed to suggest the smart people are on my side and the celebrity and political world is on thier side backing them and I'm just a Looney know nothing trying to smear them...I just get the hardest fights to fight ever and I'm beat...I wanna go to the beach and relax and instead I get homelessness at a beach and a mysterious suburn and it's supposed to suggest I still don't know I'm not gray colored with thick skin a tail and a trunk...the elephantom is really a rotten scalping of my being cast as a damaged apple rotten tomato Spud. I'm just a guy...and my brain seems to be what it is...a mush ball of ideas and images and not an id card..I get that it's not a mold...I'm not gonna have it work like that but it seems like it's been made into this open source conduit for legal aid and media system remote activity...I wanna be normal...I wanna stop being abused..and I don't wanna fight to do it...I'm doing everything right and my life and time is being wasted. I've had my past opportunities destroyed just so I could represent this futile and verifiably nonexistent contingency that's about as politically important as telling your sister to clean up her room...but with people being so irresponsible because they have managed to suceed...thier immaturity and flaws are obvious and easy to point to in saying my magnified maturity and lack of investment in real authority based employment have left me packed with complaints that people don't listen to me..they do..just to get the guru hudu I generate not to respond or respect me as a person at all...because that also means admitting my perspective ideas and ideals are valid and people just want to call me an egomaniac Manchurian luciferian idealist. I'm not..I just think that humanity is too conflicted to abide it's terms of love and morality and religion as well it's not prepared to handle it utopian plutonic submissions on love and peace in a free society to the extent it has propigated it. Spectral ecstacy is not something they are or were expecting to hurt or become a real option for them..you want peace and love and to use a higher percentage of your brain in a safe body? We'll get ready for your hospital bed with your eyes rolled back in your head mouth thrown wide. Life is not what it is made out to be and that is psychotically being helped along...I look at the terms of insanity... doing something repetitively that Garner's the same result with thvsame effect....that's redundancy but we know that we change the term because we have simulated variety..I skip that and go to vibration or leverage or polarity..our universe is insane..And mutually inane...and we persist to balance the infertility of the ideal post death experience as life to promote we should be immortal to solve this status update we call an intellectual life...we need to be god but at least we could be mutated immortals if we can't become the president of the realms...sad..and simply as saucercraft suggestion as anything else. The answers are here so why are we abused because everyone's abusing themselves so they can see it or fighting to escape it and condemning or trying to kill via denial and ignorance that the questions are answered and its over? I wanna move on...pay me 10$ an hour and let me rest in my 500$ apartment in peace and prosperity with satisfaction.

    • sparkster profile imageAUTHOR

      Marc Hubs 

      11 months ago from United Kingdom

      Many are being answered. The author (me) has also set up a support group on Facebook called N.A.R.C. - Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Centre.

    • sparkster profile imageAUTHOR

      Marc Hubs 

      11 months ago from United Kingdom

      No, suicide is NOT an option. Build yourself a support network, do it quietly, join some support groups, speak to your doctor, pray - do anything and everything you can to get out of the situation.

    • profile image

      HO 

      11 months ago

      There's no way out from my family's house, by law (I'm a girl in Saudi). And I can't take it anymore. Is it true.. suicide is all that I got?

      Can anybody answer me please?

    • profile image

      Layla 

      11 months ago

      It’s obvious no one intended to help with this article bc no ones being answered. They only want us to know what is happening and how there’s nothing we can do about it! God is the only way to effectively remove this from your head! Pray people God promises us his help if we can trust fully he will! Give it a try. What do you have to lose now? The devil can manipulate your.brain which means he can also manipulated evil people on earth to Carry out his work through actual humans. God says he will help. Try this look in the concordance of your bible, now look up the word that’s most on your brain. Read Gods instructions on how to overcome it! He sent instructions on how to beat evil on earth we just have a hard time believing it bc we cannot actually see the help, however soon you will if you don’t give up! It was my only choice other than death by an evil person! I refuse to allow them to win. All of God’s people are proven winners! What do you have to lose. It only takes faith and trust something our attackers worked hard at taking away yet cannot stop us from getting it back through the power of prayer and God! I feel victorious and can no longer be manipulated by these sick twisted Demond’s! I’ll help anyone I can so please when you see your completely out of options allow God and his people to help!

    • profile image

      Victoria 

      11 months ago

      I live in Roanoke Virginia and started dating and living with Scott Gregory Pruner son of Carol and the late dr.robert pruner...i did not know he was in the porno industry for a least a year...we were together for 3 years...he drugged me had his friends rape me ..i have kept a diary of names and how I felt after waking up and these people's names...he has made it hard for me to get a job...its been hard to go back into society and trust anyone...it gets worse my young sister was involved in this as well...nicolette and i do mot speak..he has bugged my dog with micro chips my cell and cameras..i have gone to Roanoke county and city police nothing..not even when I told them about child sex trafficking...wayne Torre is invoked a another doctor and Bob Elijah and many many more..i have evidence and more..its like this town is paid and brought...scott and Wayne I know for a fact drugged people and make porno without these people knowing it.. I have been away for almost a year and I'm still stalked by his people...that he pays..scott goes by different AKA,s..porno sites he owns xnxx,barzzers(mispelled) he does tons of gay porn ,snuff porn..he is also on Craigs list soliciting sex at hotels and has his cell number ,selling dogs and has no dog to sell...these people use home to rent for FUCK houses and FUCK party's...im from this town I had no idea the people involved which I know or knew is involved in this shit. Example my sister...signed what the fuck....no help at all..people in this town with money, condone this and obviously support it...

    • profile image

      Shores sister 

      11 months ago

      This totally just answered my questions so now I can heal from the loss of my brother but I will be telling his abuser I know what u did n you will not get away with it!

      Thank you for writing this you just opened the door for me to heal!

    • profile image

      JESSICA BROADEN 

      11 months ago

      I took myself to the hospital because I wanted to overdose on insulin and just end it all. But I can't because I can't leave my kids behind. What is described is exactly what is happening to me. As we speak he is texting me saying how aweful I am and staying me with accusations of everything he can. Ti have no idea what's real anymore and I can't defend myself anymore because it's pointless.. Hopefully I will die soon or figure out how to escape this. Hoping that while I'm here the hospital will help get me some help.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, owlcation.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://owlcation.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)