Psychological Murder: Death By Covert Abuse

Updated on March 21, 2018
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Marc Hubs is a writer/researcher on mind, science, and conspiracy. He is the author of "Know Your Enemy: Reflections of NPD."

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Pernicious Abuse

It goes unrecognized but it exists.

It exists on an extremely covert level.

It happens behind the scenes without anyone even being aware of what the problem is; the real problem.

No evidence of it is left behind and no-one has ever been convicted of it yet in reality, what I will term pernicious abuse is something which can and does have a devastating effect, not just on the victim, but also within society. Pernicious abuse can lead a person into carrying out acts such as covert psychological murder, or perhaps even covert psychological manslaughter - something which is very real, insidious in nature but unfortunately unrecognized and virtually unquestioned.

Psychological murder can take many forms but the type I'm really referring to is of a covertly narcissistic and/or sociopathic nature. It may be too difficult for some people to be able to comprehend but it does happen and I've seen it happen.

Narcissistic/Sociopathic (narcopathic) abuse takes place when a narcissist or sociopath (or narcopath) attempts to convince someone who has discovered their unbelievably shallow secrets, gradually over time, that they are crazy and proceeds to manipulate them into keeping quiet or to ultimately face their wrath. They use techniques such as crazy-making, character assassination and gaslighting in order to get their victim(s) to question their own sanity.

They generally do so by ostracizing the victim while continuing to act out their part, expertly hiding their truly outrageous behaviour, whilst successfully having everyone around them fooled - everything is done to appease those around them while their manipulative and controlling tactics take place behind the scenes, outside of people's awareness. The victim is forced to question their own sanity because they don't realize that they are the victim because everything done to manipulate them is done outside of their conscious awareness.

The longer time goes on and the longer the victim tries to do something about it, the more severe the abuse becomes. The narcissist/sociopath has already built an army of unwitting abusers who all help to drive the victim crazy. The long-term consequences of these actions can be a devastating, soul crushing and reality-shattering path to be led down. Of course, there are many other types of abuse that can have just as damaging and severe long-term consequences. However, psychological forms of abuse such as gaslighting, mental rape, slander, defamation and distortion campaigns of a person's reputation are done so covertly and expertly that they are very rarely identified early enough.

The abuser, when carrying out these covert tasks, is faceless and undercover.

Narcopathic Abuse

Victims of this type of abuse are commonly left with no resources they can use to escape the situation; the abuser has stolen their finances, their identity and has turned the victim's own family and friends against them, due to the malicious web of lies and deceit that have been woven. The victim is trapped with no way out... or at least that is what they are made to believe.

Although victims go through what can only be described as being dragged through hell backwards, narcissistic and sociopathic abuse via heightened communication is so difficult to pick up on the human radar of perception that the victim is usually left scratching their head wondering "is it me?"

They have been made to believe that they are the problem. Such abusers are so shallow that they may cheat on their partner on significant occasions such as valentine's day or while they are away at a funeral - at times when the victim will least expect it.

Not only that, they will do it with the person the victim suspects the least.... time and time again.

In many cases the victim may turn to drugs or alcohol as a means of escape. The stress they are forced to endure can be so severe that if they don't find some kind of release in order to feel a sense of escape, they continue to build up with overwhelming tension, anxiety, emotional suffering and may develop an overactive mind which can literally drive them crazy - post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can soon follow. That's not to say that the drugs will either prevent it from happening or even slow the process down - they won't. They will only exacerbate the situation in the long run.

Psychological Murder

The abuser never quits abusing and the victim's self-esteem gets worn down to the core until they go through a process of devaluation, dehumanization and dissociation. The victim has been made to feel that they are nothing in this world, they now have nothing, they now have no meaning and nowhere to go and nobody wants them any more except for the narcissistic/sociopathic abuser who can now use the victim as their emotional/mental slave. The narcopath is now their God.

The process is so subliminal and it happens so gradually that it could take place over the course of ten or twenty or even thirty years or more. The victim knows that even if they did escape the situation the abuser would probably continue to ruin the rest of their life or future relationships anyway and in many cases after the partner has left, the abuser continues to drive them crazy gradually destroying their reputation, their life and their soul - often referred to as soul murder.

Eventually the victim may be left feeling suicidal but fear that others would see it as a selfish act. Additionally, they don't want others to be left picking up the pieces they left behind because they do feel real true genuine empathy. For this reason many victims believe they have no choice but to continue suffering the abuse and may feel that the damage is already done.

Some victims may ultimately decide to continue to pump as much alcohol or drugs into their system as they can. This way they can use it not only as a form of escapism but also to slowly kill themselves so that they can reach the point that they have to suffer the abuse no longer. Others may not turn to substance abuse but may end up suffering fatal medical issues as a result of the abuse alone which may potentially lead to death a result of pernicious abuse.

Some may have given up on their hopes of escape and may have just accepted things the way they are (conditioned into co-dependence) but unless they are an inverted narcissist, then the stress will eventually take it's toll. Stress is well known to cause a myriad of health problems, both mental and physical, many of which can be fatal.

Ultimately, the victim takes the knowledge of their covert psychological murder to the grave which forever remains a secret inside the mind of the abuser.

© 2011 Marc Hubs

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    • profile image

      Nancy Riley 

      7 hours ago

      Thank you so much, Marc Hubs. This article really hit home. It explained to me precisely why I have felt my life was worthless, and my desire to end it. Even though I ceased living with my sbuser over 8 months sgo, I only recently severed all ties forever. I had actually been feeling that the only way for me to survive financially was to maintain some relationship with her as she has quite a lot of money and property, some of which she had promised to share with me, even after she'd devastated my independant financial future for her own fleeting and frivolous purposes. I have also over the past few months been trying to get my affairs in order as I was feeling suicidal, but as you pointed out in your article, some of us don't want to leave our loved ones with a financial or an emotional burden. Your article has given me an understanding of how and why I've gotten to this point of worthlessness and despair, and suddenly I feel like, yes, I CAN go on living, even if I will be poor, and no, I will NOT be beaten and kill myself in despair and sadness because of all she has stolen from me. She was my best friend for 55 years, ever since we met in the 2nd grade. I always acted as her protector. She called me her pit bull, but I now know that she looked at me as just a stupid loyal animal that existed only to serve her. I now know why I have felt so empty for so long, but I feel the beginnings of hope, I will find a reason to celebrate being alive. I can't thank you enough, YOU ARE AN ANGEL!

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      Exhausted 

      14 hours ago

      Mine started when I was a few months pregnant. It turned into physical abuse from financial, emotional, psychological, and verbal. After child was born, there was litigation and domestic violence by proxy. After we separated, he still continues his mental and verbal abuse. He abused our child and when reported by myself and multiple people, he turned to taking our child away from me and casting false allegations of parent alienation onto me so that they would press charges against me instead of him.

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      TGIF 

      17 hours ago

      I would very much like to know where you are in the world...Is this a worldwide phenomena? I heard that there is a gambling element to this which makes it even more disturbing and sick. People place bets on what the victim will/won't do next. It is orchestrated and deliberate and high-net worth individuals are victimised so that their assets can be looted and the abuser- CRIMINAL- gets away with a murder they didn't commit and the assets of same! Kick the ASS and seize the ASSETS! SICK. I would like your comments MARC...how did you put this together, from research? Thanks in advance of your reply.

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      JohnDoe182 

      41 hours ago

      Psychological murder is VERY real - it can end as Murder or Attempted Murder; either way leaving the victim disabled or dead. It is the slow poisoning of a persons mind, life, body, career, family, community and total well being. It inevitably leads to a horrible place. It becomes Murder when that person commits suicide and/or is killed by what appears to be their own doing. It can lead to a person being imprisoned, framed, institutionalized or rendered mentally insane permanently.

      I am living this nightmare. I was just recently very successful, 2 children whom id die for, a growing business, a new 3000 SQ FT house built to secure stability for my wife and kids if something were to happen to me.

      Then my nightmare came to light…I ran away, and still I find no peace and no shoulder to cry on, no one with any power to stop it. My closest people turned out to be my biggest nightmares, with the financial power to boot. Hackers, people bought and placed in my life, complete identity theft and manipulation.

      I am literally praying they’ve gotten all they wanted and will leave me alone to start from below ground… I used to be fearless, passionate…. Now I don’t trust my own shadow, and my most prized possessions (my children) will and cannot ever know the truth. I would’ve rather be been burned alive 10 times over than relive the last 3 years.

      -DP

      There is NA

      There is AA

      I wish there was a group for PMA… post here and share your story… maybe we cant prove or fight those who victimized us, but at least we can find solace in knowing that someone believes us.

    • profile image

      doesnt matter 

      42 hours ago

      can you help someone in the most severe form of this situation

    • profile image

      DANA WILLIAMS66 

      7 days ago

      Mine started AFTER a marriage, where all the years of previous therapy was useless because what was once a localized problem has now become a systematic, just with more people involved. What types of people would describe your life as being in 'hell' while smiling then turn around and expect a person to act normally with trust? That is just it, you wouldn't. Forget physical abuse, emotional and mental is far worse because there is no evidence to expose that hey, even words can lie as being 'special' yet at the time time psychological abuses have indeed been going on.

    • profile image

      BL 

      13 days ago

      I am leaving a man who did just what is described, for over 13 years. Now I see it clearly. It has taken 11 years of therapy and 6 years of intense PTSD therapy to help me overcome the mental murder this man committed against me.

      I am no longer a victim, because now I understand what’s going on and I know if I stay, I will now be a volunteer. It’s been a ride in hell with him but I am so grateful to have survived it. One of my best friends was married to someone similar, but she didn’t make it. She hung herself 3 years ago.

      I am leaving for me and I am leaving for her and I am leaving for all the other women who have lived in this kind of hell. Not because they were weak, but because they were kind and decent and believed in love.

      My closeness to Jesus is the strongest it’s ever been. I am so blessed. I pray this experience will somehow benefit others.

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      Bre 

      2 weeks ago

      For someone to purposely drive you insane is hell,and it absolutely dose happen.I lived it for over a decade,secretly lived it..had i told anyone what i was going thru they too would think i was crazy.It wasnt until the discard phase that i started searching and came upon the term "gaslighting" that i learned that there was other people in this world that has also gone thru similar.That saved me,it woke me up and i learned from that why i felt so weak,so fragile and isolated.This hell was killing me.Ive been out of it for over a year and i still find myself trying to figure out why but i believe ill never find the answer.During that discard phase i was so confused as to why my own family would do this i ended up being the one in the mental hospital.This abuse is so crazy and unbelievably hard to explain to someone who has never experienced it that (for me)didnt even have it in me to find the words.Im still hoping to someday find someone who can relate so i can get things off my chest.Its true that DV dont even get this abuse.Try to tell someone that your abuser moves your belongings around to cause confusion and they too think your crazy.Its a really hard situation when u have no one to turn to.However i think God for allowing me to see the light.I hope u all are blessed too!!

    • profile image

      Pin 

      2 weeks ago

      I have gone through abuse since birth , my parents are both narcopaths. I have undergone incredible abuse. i am currently trying to find a way out. Find a job. and leave the country. have no friend.

      Can use all the advice that you may have. Very happy to find this page and at least see what is happening is true and im not insane.

    • profile image

      Ntf 

      2 weeks ago

      Thank you

    • profile image

      Deb 

      2 weeks ago

      This was my life exactly for 14 years. This is real, people like this do exist. The evil in them is to the core.

      I got out 2 years ago. The relief was instant, but the remnants of damage/ptsd remain. I am working on it.

    • profile image

      Linda 

      2 weeks ago

      I have been dealing with this tramatic situation for a long time. It got worse the last five years. I have been down that road thinking suicide, what is he going to do next and what choices do I have left even therapy. If there are answers out there, I would love to hear them.

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      lisa 

      2 weeks ago

      jfjbfj - i understand your feeling dispair - just know you are not alone and I will pray for you - understanding the situation is half the battle - I encourage you to realize you are a person worthy of better in your life - seek that - seek to surround yourself with loving caring people - hard to find but out there - my thoughts and prayers to you..

    • profile image

      jfjbfj 

      2 weeks ago

      i wonna die too

    • profile image

      lisab2019 

      2 weeks ago

      i offered this woman a job who i only new from an organization - her and i became friends after she took the part time job - she then did something which gave her power and then she started becoming this control freak and then started manipulating situations to her benefit even if it caused undue strain on others as they could not have any say in the situation she said she needed things done her way due to her bi polar and other mental issues - she then underhandedly took away 4 opportunities for me to make more at work as she interupted conversations and then bullied me saying off he wall things about why she did what she did - then she started ostrasizing me at work and leaving me out of meetings and conversations that would have helped me learn things to benefit my work and she said i would be her partner in a business doing our work which would allow us to do well financially and i knew she was right but she not only kept me from that she gaslighted the heck out of me till i felt like i was nothing and i became very depressed and had suicidal thoughts - it was terrible she convinced others at work to leave me out of the teamwork which caused my job not to be done as fast as it could and effected everything including my time - she stalked me at time as well - she caused 4 people to loose their jobs by medling and caused 2 other woman (and me - that would be 3 people ) to get physically sick - from the way she treated them psychologically -

      i ended up with a mini stroke... i developed very painful arthritis from being so depressed i had no energy even to take my vitamins which at my age caused my body to not function well and i developed very painful arthritis and fibromyalgia and now am being checked for cancer - was crying all the time and so depressed i questioned my life and existance and felt that an opportunity to forward myself had been selfishly withheld from someone who was supposed to be a friend - it was beyond devisating.. for those going throug this i feel for you and will be posting more about maybe doing something to help others like us - please comment and let me know if anyone interested in something being done - i am looking into ideas right now after i find another job to get away from this person i will repost and get input and look for support in doing something to help victums get help where there is non.. (of course to a certain extent as able ..)

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      Eric Stephens 

      3 weeks ago from Brooklyn, NY

      I am going through this right now. Thank you for this article.

    • profile image

      Miamoore2019 

      3 weeks ago

      Wow this article really hit home in a devastating way....every part if it so familiar and scary. I'm so aware of everything it implies and in agreement with everything it predicts and foresees yet still Soo stuck. I feel powerless and hopeless.

    • profile image

      Jean 

      3 weeks ago

      My sister put this crime on me.

      The part that is most evil is that the players are government and Color of Law representatives ( police, mental health workers, Color of Law ect)

      Just like Weinstien punishing his victims for telling the truth she too used his methods to have me destroyed.

      Her secrets were never going to be told until she made certain that she silenced me after meeting and eventually marrying a man who was wealthy and a fund raiser for political races. His position within the government gave he and she the ability to use undue influence to have me destroyed.

      She slandered defamed smeared me and more.

      She had me run from my home.

      She alienated my children against me.

      During two interrogations I endured this past year by both DHS and Seattle Border Patrol the truth about her came out without my wanting to tell. OMG! The secrets she had!

      I am homeless and traumatized.

      My father referred to her as "The Bad Seed." he was right.

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      Bonnie Campbell Schmelzer 

      4 weeks ago

      The state of California is very uneducated on the subject of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE when there is no physical signs of harm.

      CALFORNIA WAKE UP!!!

      If my daughter is Murdered, her blood will be on Your Hands!

    • profile image

      mary jean Lind 

      5 weeks ago

      it is a basis to harm for the out come of harm for the all gains involved that come from the initial moment tactic begins to be of hate to harm .

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      Signe Maria Minsker 

      5 weeks ago

      The “ story” below reminds me on severeal things about my situation, I think. Although my situation started when I was 0, and I grew up indoctrined with the fact that I am less than human and insane. “ My parents” slandered me all over a whole country, and used the system, neighbours everything to kick/ bully me out of appartment after the other. Til now: I am homeless and ran away from “ Denmark”, to stay “ alive”. The police even went along with it and helped “ my dad”. They kicked my door in and try to commit me, for trying to stand up for myself and defend myself. My dad has also tried to Strangle me, and done other kinds of violent acts. But I was never well functioning like you. The Danish social control system was used to cover up and help abuse me. Also as a finishing tutch I would like to mention, that just for the fun of it, “ my parents” also placed me in a cult. I just write and write cause nobody wants to help ore nobody who can help wants to hear me. In reality I should just have cut it down to:

      “ both my parents” were psychopaths and I was paraded around for more abuse, everywhere, since the age of 0.

      Interesting what you can tell people and get away with in the” worlds least corrupt and most well functioning country”. Big rape to the worlds biggest hole ( by now). If you know what I mean by that.

    • profile image

      susan Leczkowski 

      6 weeks ago

      I know this is happening and I have gone to every agency to report it. It's all about money and protecting the family name and airs. Divorce and dV are not acceptable in my family. My DMS4 was taken, contact to a psychiatrist. They called and said they were bringing me in and that am an RN, that i had every symptom in the dms IV. tHE dms is the only clinical reference needed for psychiatric disorders and it is a book that defines, describes, gives stable symptoms, out of control behavior and compensation behaviors and what precipitate the behavior. I was strangled and my mental functioning was confused and I was battered. My family decided to throw me under the bus and sided with my husband. He was made the victim and I was stripped of my social status as an excellent and above the average RN with a specialty license ifn Critical care and catastrophic case management.

      I was diagnosed before I entered the doors that I was forced through. My fate was sealed when I fought and denied the symptoms., I was not hysterical I was fighting. My comments were delusions. My loving family with money, millions of dollars they have stolen from me. Stripped me of anything to give me any credibility or power.

      I have been socially dead for over 12 years. Despite overwhelming proof of the tax fraud, evasion, collusion, and mulotiple other counts of fraud and collusion, no authority will pursue prosecution.I have been told to contact and asterics have case numbers, and two have had cases dropped becasue of interference from family monitoring my actions with the agencies. They have fradulently created accounts with varoious agencies and posed as me and have continued to perpetuate the crazy behavior that they reinforce by taking my reports and making paranoid comments after. So no agency will believe me. The agencies are IRS* **, FTB CA* **, Sociual security (no advocate not investigations ), FBI *. **, Post Master General *, FTC *, DOJ (waiting for info), Board of axountancy Waiting), Dept of the TReasurey,(have not contacted my reporting), I have given volumes of documents in the hands of the colluders that clearly state their ations and intentions against me and that if I don't comply they will charge me tens of thousands of dollars.

      I am on socia security and have CompPTSD, I can nolonger have a day that is restful. I have attempted suicide out of hopelessness. I am bullied and threatened regularly.

      Social morays that are the foundation to societal decorum are believed to be unshakeable and people deniy the morays can or are boroken by some. These are the morays defied, family takes care of family-mo they don't have to, Family has your back, they know all of your vulnerabilities, familys wouldn't incrominate or hurt family members, families are nurturing, buisness owners distribute money owed to share holders equally, the saying people say when a moray is broken is this statemet of disbelief...that just doesn't happen you are wrong. It can and does and it's easy to do because it's unbelievable and a narcicists play ground. It inflates their ego to do evenmore to see what more power they can have over the weak.

      My life expectancy is decreased. I am fearful all the stime, I am almos done struggling to get help. I promised my daughter I would not leave her and that I would endure the feelings that make me just want peace and to just leave my life.

      No body believes me despite evidence. I have been cleared clinically of all psychiatric diagnosis except ptsd and psychogenic seizures that are caused by too much emotion to cope with. I am alone and fear I will be the rest of my life. I have lost my lively hood as an RN, my status as a confessional. I have been alienated by friends and colleagues and my mother who has been told lies. They say in the ADA legislation that there is help for cognitively and emotionally disturded individuals against abbuse but that does not include financial abuse. There is only financial abuse for people under 18 and over 65.

      If ther is any one in psychiatric care that is able to afford more than their insurance benefit of policy days then that person should be ebaluated for financial abuse. Day treatmebt is almost 200$ a day and the treatmebt is usually 3-5 days a week for 6 months. The math upto $6000,00 per month and over six months $36,000.00 for only mental health treatmet (5 days for six months cost) . This ability to pay is a significant piece of evidence that there is money and motive for financial abuse.

      Financial abuse how does it sound and what are the reactions. Get an attorney...my family gave me 300$ per month for myself and middle school child for internet, bundle, food, clothing, supplies and household cleaning products.. My family used the disease of bipolar--a family can remain in status wif someone is mentally disabled. They also said they had to restrict and control my money as bipolar are known to over spend and being a drug addict well you can give them money. If I was so bad why didn't authorities have my middle school daughter removed? She was removed when she was an adolescent and I was told i would never see her again.

      I went from a sixd figure income to a four figure income. An adult doesn't transition to that well and a child to adolescence has a flat out melt down and that is why she was removed. Her father died of alcoholism and i have been the trashcan of secretes and still am.

      The narcicist's of my family are my brother an sister. The are retiring and will do so soon as the 40 million dollar corporation is now hanging onto 16./ My brother gives himself a 3 million dollar salary and gambels about 2 million of the profits a year. My sister is not as open with her pillaging of monies.

      I will soon be homeless. I will not live on the streets well. I will not be given help with my financial history. I will forever be looked at as a hopless drug addict. its been 12 years I don't have many doors to knowck on,. My only support is God and I refuse to loose faith in the only thing I have left to hope for. There is always Job and Jesus. I try to be grateful, I try to move forward but how do I move forward when I don't know is going to befal me. Every attempt at moving forward fails becasue if I move forward I gain power and threatened the narcissist.

      Unless someone takes my story to the media or I have a fairy god mother I am not going to be able to get help with this on my own. I need someone to be a witness who has status and how can I meet them.

      My injury that my ed husband inflicted on me was taking me down every night by behind he would come up and take his left arm and place it around my neck and he would choke me untill I passed out and somethines the strangulation almost killed me my 3 1/2 year old daughter saved me every night she said for three and a half years my ability to write and be suscint and spell correctly has gone from exceptional to laughable. How can you get your point across if you cant write and explain. My fear is so overwhelming I almost never leave my house.

      I pray for death. but I promised my daughter i would stay for her. She gives me little time, she's 20 and starting her life. I wasn't around my mom but I needed her and enjoied the time I spent with her. My mom had a wide social sircle. Oh and no social support system is a death in itself. Social death is worse than bodily death.

      I had to rite. I feel like I'm putting a message in a bottle. I live in Huntington Beach CA and My name is Sue leczkowski, and ned help, lots of help, I need someone who has power to beliee in me and to more importantly have the desire and be a phylinthoropic help the underdog and fix people attitude. people only care about themselfes and say wow how sad anything but lets help.

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      Angry Chair 

      6 weeks ago

      Been dealing with this situation for somewhere between a year and 4 years. The reason I put it that way is because from the time the relationship started until now I don't really know when all of this really bad stuff started to take place. I can pinpoint it about a year-and-a-half ago when she actually left but it was so bad before that and knowing what I know now it really started months or years before that exact time but that's where it really kicked in.

      I was with a female that right up front showed me what she was and I stupidly ignored the signs. I saw what she was saying about her ex and knowing it wasn't true never thinking she was going to do the same thing to me at some point because it's a part of her MO. And her being so good at this and manipulating me so easily and keeping me so unfocused with so many different things going on all the time I just learned to ignore things until the point that I could'nt ignore them any more.

      Once I was cornered financially and stood up for myself she decided to leave. But I didn't know until at least six months later that she has started a smear campaign probably a good six months before she left. So obviously by the time I found out about this her stories had stuck. I always wondered why people were ghosting me and all these other things were going on that didn't make sense. But being stuck with a home and financial issues herself and her family members caused me and left me with along with the lies saying that I left her with these things even though I'm the one here paying for this stuff and everyone can see that it pretty much left me with no one to turn to. She also did the usual where she moved on with someone and put it all over her social media to rub it in knowing everyone was going to tell me about it.

      My nearest family member is 1000 miles away so now I had no one to turn to. I still hadn't put it all together until spending time off from work being disabled looking into narcissistic abuse and figured out that each step they take is exactly what I went through.

      Here I am a year-and-a-half after she left feeling just as bad if not worse as I did when I was going through these things with her. Because of all the psychological torture she was doing behind the scenes and having all her flying monkeys do I now know that none of those people were ever my real friends anyway so I don't need them in my life. And I don't need her in my life but the things she did while she was with me and the things she did afterwards not only destroyed my social life and reputation but it left me stranded 1000 miles away from anyone that cares about me because of all the financial burden that's all in my name left on me that she told everyone isn't true. Even going as far as to saying that she pays my bills for me so I feel stuck in a state with no family no friends left to speak of a job I only have to pay for all the stuff she's left me with and the fact that she was a bartender so we drank and partied all the time.

      And that's the only thing I've had to turn to. Drinking and listening to music alone at home. I can't go out on that social scene anymore because she made sure that people would be confrontational and even downright violent with me with her lies. The thing is I hate drinking. It's boring to me. I hate doing it. It makes me feel like crap but it's literally the only thing that keeps me from completely losing my mind. Every interest I had before her died while I was with her as if she intentionally made those things happen knowing she could leave me this way in the end with nothing. I'm just not interested in anything anymore and I don't feel like there's any reason to go on since I don't enjoy anything anymore. I'm never happy. I can't even think of the last time I was excited about anything. And if something really good did happen to me I now have no one to share it with including even one single friend because they all turned their backs on me. The only things I have are the two cats she left with me that she ironically only moved in with me for I found out recently just so she could get them away from her ex. Along with all her crap she left in my house trying to make me believe that she was just visiting home for a while when she never had any intention of coming back. I'm glad she didn't come back but it doesn't change the fact of everything else that's happened that she intentionally made happen to try to ruin what little bit of a life I still had after her.

      It is a very very dark path to walk down and even though you know it's psychological and isn't really physical other than the financial part it still feels as if there is something physically trying to put you into the ground permanently. I would suggest anyone that sees these signs in a relationship get out as soon as possible because the longer you wait the worse it's going to be in the end. You have to deal with these things that even once that person's gone & they seem even worse than when they were right next to you. They are going to take all their darkness in their lives and put it all off on you for you to deal with and in return they're going to take the good parts about you. You are going to be stuck dealing with it. It's just simply not something you can just get over and get back to the person you were before them because it just doesn't work that way. They take that part of you for themselves and leave you with all their bad qualities. It is something you're going to be stuck dealing with for a long time if not permanently until you're unrecognizable to yourself.

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      Help me 

      6 weeks ago

      My dad has done this to me and my mom. Mostly my mom. He brainwashed us to send him explicit pictures in return for money. I’m just now understanding the degree of brainwashing he did to us. The big problem now is the police are involved and I don’t even know what is the truth or what to tell them. Me and my mom tried to tell them the truth. They believed us but then the next day said we are “story tellers” I don’t understand what’s going on and I don’t know if we did something wrong or has he brainwashed us to think that. And now the police won’t even hear us out. I don’t understand!!! Is it our fault?

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      Rulikeme-2 

      6 weeks ago

      Ronny K I just read your story. During a court appointed therapy session, the psychiatrist told me that just because my husband read graphic stories of raping babies “Does not make him a bad father!”

      I think that was the day I lost all hope.

      She suggested to the court that he was the most suitable candidate for custody. After a nightmare of a story I’m too exhausted to tell we never went to court and I signed my rights as a parent over. I did it because I lost all hope and I knew if ANYTHING went my way he would have me killed. I considered that it would be in my children’s best interest to have me alive even if it was minimal contact. I know I sound like a monster of a mother but if you were in my shoes at the time you would get it. Anyone judging me right now has no idea what this kind of abuse does to you. The horrors of what was done to us is so insidious. No words to express. I can’t imagine any pain greater than this. Always wondering if they are okay. They keep his secrets just as well as I did. They have no idea they are being abused just as I didn’t know for all of those years. I sang his praises to EVERYONE. Looking back I have no idea why I did. Brainwashing. It HAS to be. All these years later I’m still trying to deprogram myself. When I catch myself realizing that I don’t really believe something I have been passionately for for so long it’s like being hit in the head and takes awhile for me to collect myself. Guess who I tell? NOONE!!! As you know....The worst thing you can do is tell someone. Unless you have a support system. Unfortunately all my family is dead now. My parents, brother etc.... “My” family consists of my children and “I” protect them as best I can. I CERTAINLY don’t tell them any of this. This page is the first one I have found in years that sums my experience up the best. Is anyone like me, meaning that years later it’s just too exhausting to speak of the horrors? For anything to make sense I would have to begin in the year 1995 to present day. I can barely get through the day keeping myself appear together. There’s no energy left for anything else.

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      Rulikeme-2 

      6 weeks ago

      Oh PAHLEEZE

      What you wrote sounds exactly what I can say. It’s been 10 years since he decimated my life and I still stay at home only to go to work. Not a moment goes by that I don’t worry about my children but if I said one word to anyone my children and myself would pay severe consequences. I’m alone. I think people think “she’s the crazy one” (well I still get told that someone said this of me) I have to let them believe it. I can’t go to my children’s school because it would be suiside. I can’t complain that he alienates me because of the same reason. I can’t tell my children the truth because I can’t put more of a burden on them than they already bear. They are still young teens. Once they get old enough to make their own decisions and if they ask me for help.....he will simply have me killed. NOONE is aware of this and if I voiced this to anyone I’m sure I would be “placed” in a mental institution or wind up dead. Our legal system can’t help us. We have no voice. He is so charming, powerful and wealthy. Me? My parents just happened to pass away 5 months before I was “discarded”. And yes I’m well aware that I was “crazy” during that time but what SANE person wouldn’t be? I have found people just don’t want to get involved when I’m up against someone such as himself. Like you I won’t start listing all of the malignant things he has done. I will say he had a 5 year discard plan that was done without me knowing ANYTHING. I just knew something was wrong but couldn’t make sense of it. From what I read from your post I’m sure you can understand that not many people would listen to anything I have to say without thinking I am the destructive one. I try to stay positive. I try to stay sane. I live one hour to the next trying to appear okay. I think I pull it off for the most part. Around people who don’t really know my situation....what they don’t know is how hard it is and how I’m either crying silently with a smile on my face or completely numb...with a smile on my face. Which of course makes me feel manipulative like he is so I have guilt over that. Thanks for reading this. Anyone who did. It helps just knowing someone in the world could relate. I’m sorry if you do but ....pretty sure you need to know that too. The things they do are so unbelievable! Years ago when I did confide in someone I would omit SOOO much just because it was that insane and just so unbelievable. Peace to everyone out there who is going through anything like this.

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      Lauren Eleanor Carson 

      7 weeks ago

      You explained my situation perfectly.

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      barnettmona@gmail.com 

      7 weeks ago

      how is that possible nobody can delete forever internet sources all can be brought on surface.. how about authoritys?

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      Jimmy 

      7 weeks ago

      My sister is like this so bitter and angry she wants me dead. By injection every month I have no choice to take it. It's the depo is at extreme high dosage and by law anything over 12 mg is not safe it' cuts my breathing I complained to the social worker and nothing they are not listening I can't handle the injection and they don't care. I am due again this month. My sister is a social worker down Melbourne and has contacts. She was always jealous and bitter through out my life then I left home for the first time and now she contacted someone in another state I don't think I will survive the next injection my sister is a psychological twisted I am not sleeping the injection due to my research raises heart disease and bowel disease my father died of bowel disease now she wants to knock me off

    • Oh PAHLEEZE profile image

      Oh PAHLEEZE 

      8 weeks ago

      This is the saddest story that nobody ever believed? 24 years with an absolute hideous malignant narc. Covert and genius. I’m not smart enough to outsmart him. Or brave enough to stand up to him. He has huge annual blood drives for sick children. Pillar in the community. My husband is a technology GENIUS. and I actually found all his online disordered perverse online behavior/other life on accident. All the abuse financial, emotional, and all things except physical (he’s too smart to be that stupid) it never occurred to me that he’s cheated?! I just thought he was relentlessly beyond cruel to me. All the while a girlfriend since 2013. And I’m stuck with no way out. He denies me the right to be sad. Or even cry. It’s grounds for punishment if I don’t keep positive and up beat. How sick is THAT? I’m not going in to what all the punishments entail. I can’t stand the sight of him. It’s like forced to hold hands with the devil. It’s so covert and should be criminally prosecuted. However I’m the crazy person he “adores”. To the public? He’s, a good guy to love and take care of a mentally impaired wife. BARF. He’s the most handsome man (he was a model/actor when I met him) and we live in a very nice area. I don’t blame people who CANNOT believe he’s the POS he is. I realize how it all comes across. I can see it looking from the outside looking in. It’s frustrating as hell.

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      Gregory Lyndon Bridges Jr. 

      2 months ago

      Look .. I know what all of yall are going through. I have been dealing with this same type of abuse amd harrassment since july 4th 2016 and still dealing witj it right now at this very moment as of 8:48 sat march 23 2019. Gangstalked, lied to , made fun of , lied about and character assassination attempts and claims on my life have all made me a very paranoid and untrusting person. I have no girlfriend,friends, or family. I live alone in a weekly motel and have no job no money no good outlook on life and havent had sex in 3 years. Im sick of life and people talking about what they dont know. Repetitive daily trash talking about me is constant. People ive never met talk about me amd say underbreath comments and shit talk. They are a bunch of by proxy pussies that dont have they guts ,nuts ,or clit to show up or shut up. Bring me money make amends and be done. But they want legal action instead so now im forced to deal with it until i get someone of authority to help and believe me on whats going on. . Im a targeted individual and im stronger than these bitch ass motherfuckers. Maybe not physically because im no body builder but mentally im way above their skill level and intellect. Good luck.

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      Laura Jones-Turner 

      2 months ago

      Best explanation Of what no one Believes and there is NO HELP!

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      Signe Minsker 

      2 months ago

      It must be a delight to offenders to know that the more you ask for help in this World the less knowone is gonna help you, atleast in Dk and... And the more you come across as the crazy person you were set up to be. I am a public scandale in the most “ civilized” country in The World. Both “ parents” were/ are psychopaths and dragged me, and bullied me, arround the most “ civilized country in the world” useing the police, the system, friends neighbours, and even stuffing me in a self help cult, claiming I am crazy bullying me out of housing and out on the streets again and again. I have probably written this a million times but doing it again. It can only get worse

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      Deborah 

      2 months ago

      This entire article describes my life. I feared life, not death. For those of you who don't believe or understand this kind of abuse, it is very real. I am in recovery now. It's been approximately 2+ years. It never goes away.

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      Burnette 

      2 months ago

      No one will help me with the privacy violation I'm experiencing finding out I've been spied on by devices in my home for years planted by the landlord & kept a secret for years and no police help their involved & family too, animals have more rights than me, community gangstalking & no help in the world

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      Randy 

      2 months ago

      This is exactly what I am expeariancing. Started in 2015 by individuals with veteran/ corporate connections turning everyone against me with pathetic organized stocking where ever I go. They notify law enforcement while I’m traveling saying they are concerned for me. Once I am to my destination then the stalking,intimidation begins. I have been threatened with pit bulls, vehicles pull out in front of me and lunge at me at intersections. People of veteran oriented men there wives relatives and corporate connections. My rv and truck have been bugged. The latest is visiting my daughter for Xmas. The Narcissist I call him has infiltrated her boy friend his father and step mother and looks like my daughter also. Pathetic mess.

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      Ruthiejo McMahon 

      2 months ago

      Very good article but I am extremely disturbed by the image of a noose. Lynching could never be considered by your definition of abuse.

      Pernicious Abuse

      It goes unrecognized but it exists.

      It exists on an extremely covert level.

      It happens behind the scenes without anyone even being aware of what the problem is; the real problem.

      Lynching was anything but covert. Please change picture. Awful comparison.

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      Brian feringa 

      3 months ago

      Need help asap!!!! My situation started 3 years ago with attempted murder on me ! Poisoned & ran over , left for dead ! Couple weeks of intensive care & very serious injurys from head to toe ! Front back & sides ! Now crippled and living in motels and truck, my life is completely desroyed ! Lost everyone & everything i love ! Jealous buis. Partner stold all accounts ,cash, while i was dying( he thougt) he then started slander and girl and other criminals joined in, then informants lead by state local & federal law enforcement continue to try to set me up & alander and terrorize me !!! Help from any one!! Also my sluggard brother in law is. Illegally spying on me and giving bad info to authoritys!!!! Why !!! You get info from the very ones who hate and kill & desroy!!! Dumb ass !! I have 7 days a week for 30 yrs .... I am no criminal!!! I try to stop pushers & robbers etc

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      Brian feringa 

      3 months ago

      Wow! Exactly my situation!! Every word of it ! 3 years of this from organized crime , tom sokoloski, crystal suttorp, tommy & mandy(half moon lake ) & more , have destroyed me & my good name with everyone i love! Since murder attempt by poisoning & running me over with jeffs nissan truck or crystals car , left me for dead & by some miracle i am alive but crippled and alone living on the run & law enforcement with criminal informants , continue to set me up! Steal my goods and meds! I have lost over $100,000.00. Of very hard earned money woking 7 days aweek for 30 yrs ! Now they want to finish me off!!! Heip please !!!! Anyone!!! Im no criminal!!!

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      Learning to be a person a 

      3 months ago

      I was married to all of these persons for 28 yrs. On top of it he didn't have normal temporal lobe activity due to a surgery long before I met him. He had no emotions and only mimicked those around him because there was no sense of self. At first I thought he was just quirky. Little did I know until the last 6 yrs he lived a double life I was completely unaware of. He abused, tortured the kids and I, spent us into oblivion, stalked, liked underaged girls and every sort of horror you can imagine. He gas lighted me to death. I was'nt aware of what was happening to me. I lost myself as a person and my whole life became a foxhole. Always waiting for the next devastating bomb to drop. I gave up everything I liked and did. I became his caretaker and a referee between my children and him and keeping myself as undetectable as possible so as to not bring wrath upon me as much as possible. Which of course doesn't work. And that was my life. I started having symptoms like not being able to drive, go into stores etc. I was eventually hospitalized and diagnosed with PTSD . After I found out the entire truth about my husband I couldnt believe it. Then he dropped his persona completely and I realized I never knew this person..he was horrific to an extent I could hardly bare it. He behaved as if he had never known me or our children practically. I am writing this in duress because he recently committed suicide. We were attacked by people we didnt even know ( his double life people). Everyone thought he was the greatest person in the world and he, unbeknownst to us trash talked us to these people with lies and lft us to the dogs in his death. He wanted divorce so he could continue on with his lifestyle and when he realized I had become serious about divorce...he got agitated. No more me there to clean up his financial messes or take his abuse. I guess he just figured it was the end of the way he wanted to live and that was that. I go between sadness, anger, fear, regret. Im in the throw of all of this as I speak. These type of people do exist. I dont care how intelligent you are you can be brainwashed/gaslighted. This kind of life will cause PTSD. These stories aren't just on a tv show or movie. It's real. The after effects for the victims are horrendous and lifelong. He is dead and his sins died with him. I just had to say my piece because people need to be aware that the information in this article is real and the victims are real.

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      debraroncancio@gmail.com 

      3 months ago

      I just read a story stating your husband/doctor had you be a stay home mommy and give up your nursing license. Don't know what state you are in. Texas laws , states you can receive DISABILITY SPOUSAL MAINTENANCE if married 10 years, 20 years is more. Proving marriage is not healthy causing more harm to you. Get out and make yourself a beautiful person. Today i am ... Tomorrow I will be the best person to myself and other's in my life.

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      debraroncancio@gmail.com 

      3 months ago

      We come to this site and speak of our abuser. Word of advise, do not label or give your abuser a title. Psychological abuse is a subject that no attorney, no police, no judge will accept. You have to approach the abuse with doctors showing physical abuse and police reports. Keep all records and be prepared to keep yourself safe at all times. Don't take medication bcuz you can't handle the anxiety. Get focused. You take medication, you might find yourself being labeled. Once you are free from all drugs, you will see that authorities listen. Took me 7 years to realize and 6 years for doctor's to prove my husband, my abuser is the one who was drugging me and the FDA to acknowledge Ativan is a serious psychotic drug. I have 21 years of abuse and stories to tell. I sent my husband, my abuser a reminder of our 21 anniversary and to let him know that I'm going to expose him on YOU TUBE. This is how I stop by husband, my abuser. One message at a time will slowly show up on YOU TUBE. Using his real name Pete Roncancio. Thank you for this site.

    • sparkster profile imageAUTHOR

      Marc Hubs 

      3 months ago from United Kingdom

    • profile image

      Mark 

      3 months ago

      Can't find your book.

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      Ronnie K 

      3 months ago

      I have been mentally abused by my female mft psychotherapist for almost three years.

      She used covert psychological coercive tactics ambient abuse, gaslighting, mind games.

      She told me during a session on 3/17/16 that after asking questions about my sex/love life and finding out then I had twelve unwanted years celibate that I had a "problem" that was dangerous knowing thirteen years of psychotherapy what most of my life story was.

      So she explained that it's not normal to go that long without sex and that I had MDD aside from PTSD and outcome for men without my history would be normal resulting in murder and or suicide.

      She turned my life upside down that appointment date 3/17/16.

      She insulted, shamed, blamed, emasculated me.

      She told me then that 23 years non recidivist, 20 years clean and sober, twelve years celibate didn't make me good person.

      According to her I had no empathy, compassion for some deceased, homeless neighbors that didn't know me and deliberately blocked drains in nextdoor shower and bathroom resulting in cat having to be euthanized and damage of thousands of dollars of belongings.

      She said I didn't live in reality saw everything black and white thinking that I saw the world through the Catholic Churches eyes.

      I judged wasn't good person didn't trust people. Morals no good Ethics better.

      Asking about and why not dating on SSDI living in downtown SF skid row off market SRO hotel room building changed to wet homeless shelter.

      When explaining with frequent toxic angry woman on Craigslist she went insane and started a TED talk about Sex Positivity Healthy Sex Life.

      First she said I want an Ethical Slut no such thing. Next a retarded self disclosure she was Bisexual Polyamorous Married Mother Unapologetic Proud Slut.

      She said "We" don't have to choose between men and women we can have both it's not greedy. Don't ever Slut Shame.

      Bragging about going against conventions and telling me that going by what is right and the rules didn't make me good person that I wasn't and didn't trust people. She tried to sugar coat her disgusting lifestyle with virtous terminology Compersion and Abudant Love.

      She lectured me on what women need and want then gave me incorrect assumptions like I wasn't good at sex with women which she wouldn't and never will know. Then advice on masturbation technique and porn tastes she was stupidly off target. Then nonsense about men at adult bookstore gloryholes being married and wives won't give them oral or men who missed on a date. No they were gay every single one of them fun for them hell for me I am Straight.

      She told me to magically get dates without saying anything about not working disability etc then asap have sex to determine if sexual chemistry and compatibility is match because sex is too important for good relationship. After bedding down many when I find her get her to read ETHICAL SLUT and TURN HER OUT BECAUSE SHARING IS CARING.

      She claimed Active mindful listening thirteen years into psychotherapy and talked to me like she never listened to me never dating going to dances or knowing how to talk to women or flirting then after no empathy or compassion she talked to me like I was a dirtbag Pimp. She said I could talk to her about anything and I was thinking she is out of her goddamn mind why would I ever want to see her again let alone talk to her she is a scumbag.

      She emasculated me knowing and admitting so in 11/18 appointment that in 8/03 I told her they put me down in mental health records in Boston as bisexual by activity same-sex encounters for money not by desire(100% straight)

      She said, ”A real man isn't ashamed or disgusted by his sexuality A real man pursues his sexual desires'. She is dirtbag she knew I wasn't going to Catholic Church since leaving after comfirmation 1978 and that I said to her first couple of years I feel guilty not going and praying and feel like I will go to Hell when I die and she used her role to weaponize my weaknesses and vulnerability against me scumbag she is for that.

      She was talking telling me I missed out on life no resilience and sat out not taking risks that I wasn't alive just surviving. Compared me to other clients only lived on skid row couple years and got jobs girlfriends stopped therapy after two years and went through worse than me.

      She went on again about the virtuous Mother Theresa like life of cheating whores and sensed I wasn't OK with her BS.

      She said it's just sex and I realized beginning of session it was life and death literally if I didn't want to murder and or suicide I needed to end unwanted Celibacy.

      Middle of appointment sex was too important the most important part of relationship and near ending that I am not impressed with whores and perverts it's just sex to a client molested during weekend visation with step brother my age who suicided in 4/07 and older step brother who molested us both early adolescence..

      I never had girlfiend, dating, dances proms etc.

      Sixteen witnessed Promiscuous girl fifteen being urinated in the face and bottles shoved in her privates

      Early adulthood needing money for eight balls powder cocaine because mother opened bank statement and I needed her cosignature to withdraw cash she found out I got cash at atm early morning hours like 2am for three to five hundred dollars at a time told her for coke and hookers in combat zone.

      I didn't want to be in Organized Crime, Deal Drugs, Armed Robbery, Grand Theft, Burglary etc so hustling I thought didn't harm but when choosing lesser evil it is still evil and I blew up on two women I loved my life was over at 28 years old.

      So during ST Patrick's Day appointment with REIKI and Psychic Empath healer MFT Psychotherapist she had explained monogamy isn't practical or natural. Everybody gets tired of the same thing. Everyone cheats this is a better honest way.

      She explained as a Zen Buddhist she was Enlightened and Joyful Blissful and has fulfillment.

      She told me Enlightenment is there is No God No Devil No Heaven No Hell No such thing as Sin.

      Yet everyone in New Age/Occult is religiously fanatical about same beliefs and when violating God's Laws in Deuteronomy Ch 18 V 9 as they aquire Clairvoyance Clairaudience Clairsentience and engage is Sexual Perversions and degenerate lifestyles.

      So I ended celibacy end of April 2016 not my desire but same sex encounters at adult bookstore gloryholes and never received treatment for "problem" I had been told I had MDD no therapy no meds then gaslighting moving appointments to ground floor where dangerous untrustworthy clients are seen. Different offices. Moving days of appointments times.

      Ignoring my unhappiness negative feelings about being "bisexual" and not listening.

      9/29/17 relapsed propositioned for prostitution by senior citizen from12 Step and knew my history from first day sobriety 7/03/96 and was well groomed clean shaven well dressed paid for oral and had filthy stinking genitalia and diabolical laughing about it. I smoked $4K of crack cocaine between 9/29/17 and 1/15/18 so called friend ruined thirty day clean so I started over 2/17/19 have one year clean from crack cocaine 22 years and seven months abstinence from alcohol had 22 years anniversary abstinence from alcohol 7/3/18.

      Five years plus no smoking cigarettes. Using small amounts smoking Crystal for harm reduction as the mental abuse from Psychotherapist and Psychiatrist he was new only four years on my case. He stopped messing with me in 9/18 and I let him have it middle of this month over pushing LGBT on me for two years and seven months always telling me any negative or bad feeling is because I am bisexual and self loathing and biphobic and homophobic any time I try to say anything he goes there and pushes romantic gay relationship is what I need.Recently Psychotherapist moved appointments back to ground floor ruining Xmas then New Year's Eve Appointment over dramatic performance to lie about her terminology in her Polyamorous marriage. She claimed to never heard of word Compersion before and didn't know what it means that I brought it up. I almost walked to Golden Gate Bridge to jump after she lied the way she did. I liv

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      Doug 

      3 months ago

      Learning about the unbeleivable truth that occured in our relatationship for the first two years, she had drugged me the nights where she wanted to go out, and do god knows what, she used melatonin, or ghb, or any kind of sleeping pills. Dozens if times i would be just trying to enjoy the day or evening and id find myself completely baffled at why i couldnt keep my eyes open and my head was spinning, id fall aleep and wake up about 12-15 hours later and having a hard time remembering the day before or anything for that matter, i wasnt sure what was happening to me, she had convinced me that it was normal and i was just tired, well, i found out my ex, who was a health care aide, suppose to be taking care of a def and blind lady, for 12 hour shifts on weekends, well, she had lost her job for havign someone else over at the house while we were dating, and she refused to admit anything to me but she was a major sex addict and always wanted it from me, and we started dating i was 23 and she was 21, and she was nice, had her own place, a job, and nice things, she had just broken up with her ex, and when i stared staying with her she let him stay at her house for a week after they brokeup, but what i had noticed about him is that he would go to work then come home and sit in the basement and pretty much stare at the wall like he was empty, and he couldnt even look me in the eyes or talk to me, i though he was weird but now i realize that she had like taken his soul or something, and well, she had this way of playing this card where because she was adopted and her mother that raised her, tried her best but, my ex was a difficult one, overdosed on a bottle of ridalin at age of 3 and lived, she was diagnosed with adhd, and had a sister 10 years older than her, inwhich they never bonded as sisters, her mother then had both her legs amputated when she had quit smoking making it hard to take care of my ex when she was 14, she had a hard time in school and had to change schools, and was a trouble maker, she had her friends but i beleive them to all be sociopaths in their own ways, so then she went to school for healthcare aide and always claimed that she wanted to be a nurse that was her dream and then like well, i supported us and paid her rent after she lost her job, and i had a addiction to painkillers i was very close to kicking on my own but when we got together we started using together and it bcame out of hand and quickly she got me using fentanyl and i had started using meth, and had a spiritual awakening in which i was going though a life changing beleifs change, and she had completely used that to her power in telling other that i am schizo and bi polar and abusive and im the fucked up one who is responsible for her losing our place and all our stuff to drugs and stuff, then tell me i got her addicted and threatened me all the time, she would drive me to the point where id be shaking and becuase i am extremely empathic and a virgo, i am so kind and generous and convinced myself that i loved her so much and that it must not be just her and then i became super depressed and she seen that and found so many ways to crush me, when i needed her the most she would deny me anything, such as a hug or a nice compliment, her argument would be no you dont desereve a hug because your demanding it, and she would deny me any sort of sympathy or compassion especially if i needed it thats when she would deprive me, then once her addiciton she understood how to get things for herself because shes a good looking girl then well behind my back the games played hard, never once did she ever tell me the truth and because i never knew about sociopathism that i beleived another human couldnt possibly look me in the eyes when im begging for her to just tell me the truth and that ill accept her for the way she is, and that if she loves me truly and 100% isnt cheating on me like so many ppl told me about her just doing crazy desperate things for drugs and tell my ffriends and ppl never to tell me, and she will hook up with them anytime as long as i never find out, she convicned everyone that knew about her private life that i should never ever find out under any circumstance because i love her to much and that if i find out ill commit suicide cause im mentally ill, so whenever id go to breakup with her on peoples here say, and i never could get actual proof, but enough was enough, and she would find a way to make me feel sorry for her and that people are fucked anf they are trying to ruin our relationship cause they are jelous that i have such a loyal and faithful girlfriend and wouldnt sleep with these guys so thats why they are saying this.... well no matter how much i knew anything, i couldnt beleive myself because if i had any chance of being wrong then i take that upon myself quite seriously, with her i found i always needed to go be alone bymyself almost daily because she would drain me and drive me to insanity, so i would go to a few spots to watch the stars and i was big into watching sunrises and sunsets in which i would invite her but she would never want to come with me, so then when i went to detox when i was ready to quit using drugs she stayed home in my parents basements and she was suppsoed to be getting clean to and like i went for 6 days and i get home walk in the bedroom and there was needles all over the place and she was such a wreck, she was sick, and like depleted of like everything, so then she drove me to relapse and i had stayed up the next 7 nights, and had been on such a bad flail, in which i was like spasming, and withdrawling and needed to sleep but the drugs were like just twisting me, so i got 40$ worth of heroin, and 50$ worth of meth, and had put them right in front of her into two syringes, in which she always, notices and demands her half, and this time she was talking to her old friend who she used to sleep with and he was at my house, and she had me destroyed and she let me leave with the two needle containing alot more than enough to overdose me lethally, and i had left and went and made a sale for 50$ got tim hortons, and i had texted her about 20 mins after i left and said, i cant take this shit, and well some other sociopathic type friends had stolen 2 new trucks from my farm family and guns and i was getting blamed, so i was not in a good place in my head, i was so hurt by the fact that people could treat me so horribly and when i just only try to help and find solutions and give and give and honestly give that, that was it for me, i had made the decision that if anyone cares enough about me then maybe i wouldnt die that night, well i waited in my spot out in the field for 3 hours for her to reply and she didnt, so i cried and took one injection thinking this is gonna scary, it hit me and i immedietly felt my whole body start fading to black and then an extreme rush making my heart pound really hard and fast had kept me awake in a very drunk like state, where i was wobling around the drivers seat and she had called me and i was crying and i put it on face time and told her that i was going to make her watch as i inject the second needle because then she might realize that this is what she has done to me and when i needed her by my side whenevr i had seperate problems she was never there, and then maybe she might change herself, and i was dead set, already borderline overdosing, i am trying to get the second needle into a vein and struggling a little thinking to myself if i hit this, this might really be it, im not one to like not go through with something, once i crossed that point yeah i mean i woulda done it thinking to myself ill do half and then another half if im still no overdosed, and right before i could hit the needle a cop opens m car door and commands drop the needle and i fell on the ground and he arrested me then soon realizing it was a suicide attempt he called an ambulance, i blacked out and when i woke up in the ambulance there was blood all over the floor, the emt said he missed the IV, also the cop shouldnt have found me,i beleive it was the work of god, and my exgf sociopathism was satans attempttostopme

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      Bre 

      3 months ago

      The abuse of malignant narcissistic mother and a covert father that works along side her,duing her dirty work has left me sick,hurting and taking my soul.pure evil and by the time u figure it out leaves u paranoid and damage done to the brain,i couldn't process anything after leaving,i would be walking thru a grocery store crying and not relize it.As a parent i cant even figure why my own parents robed me of my soul,i guess ill never understand.the crazy making,the lies,keeping me confused,and enjoying it.My mothers wide open eyes blank when confronted with no words.When did it start,when do you think hey lets fuck out daughter up? Ive cut ties and havent went to bed once since without crying,i dont know who i am anymore and cant shake it.Evil evil! !

    • EsmeSanBona profile image

      Aisling Ireland 

      4 months ago from Bolingbroke, GA

      Great article. Have you read M. Scott Peck's People of the Lie. After describing experiences I've had with my own family, a friend gave it to me. It is one of the 5 books that literally changed my life. Because pernicious abuse is so, well, pernicious, it's easy to have no idea it's happening to you. I'm glad this subject is getting the attention is deserves. You may have saved a life with this article!

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      Rendered nameless 

      4 months ago

      The Antisocial personality disorder sociopath that I got stuck living with now saw my positivity and zest for life years ago as a welcome sign for his childlike destruction. His gaslighting, endless counts of physical abuse/rapes to establish authority made attending school difficult while also raising a child, figuratively. As I write this I am trying to finish the traumatic battle with someone who belongs behind bars, with limited time. This way they do not have any chance of harming anyone else like they have me, nor do they have the chance of spreading this malicious condition.

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      4 months ago

      Ive also been thru this for over a decade with my own parents.The covert abuse is done slowly and in my case,they left no trace left behind,other than my own self.I thought near end of dealing with this that i was dying,i was convinced i had a serious problem but due to this abuse eating at me lil by lil thats how it leaves u,a walking dead person.I had to cut ties after i came up on the term gaslighting and there was my life layed out i finally connected the dots that this is making me so ill.I was isolated,didnt want to do anything or be seen by anyone.I cut ties a year ago and i can't seem to move on and still feel sick,had to go to the ER a month ago with stomach pain,they did test and found something on my pancreas,so now im waiting to see a specialist.Get out as soon as possible,run !! This shit will kill u if u dont.

      Run!

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      Mel 

      4 months ago

      This happened to me through a job. Fired three days before Christmas after years and years of covert abuse. Now emotionally and financially crippled and confidence entirely eroded, cannot seem to successfully interview and am about to be homeless. This is deadly shit. These people are as real a threat to humanity as serial killers and pedophiles. They ruin many lives and get away with it.

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      Jennifer Burridge 

      5 months ago

      This hits the nail on the head. I'm sharing it to all i love that I've failed in communicating it to, especially due to the gaslighting.. thank you for this... any suggestions on escape having nothing left including a will to live , would be most appreciated:)

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      Gia Love 

      5 months ago

      This is exactly what I am living. I can explain it, I can show the proof, I can give details. But I can't. I've locked up. What I will share is that there are lawfirms that have intel contractors invested into them. For those in the upper eschelon of the tax brackets. You probably can afford these services. I believe they cost around a cool million. Chump change to those who sit in the real estate investor market and just use the exchange of real estate to cover any exchange. NDAs (non disclosure agreements) are written and signed. Sealed by the Lawfirm with a requirement by all Judges in the District Courts to sign in order to release. Every law is broken while those required to hold these people accountable. Turn the other way. They have think about the Real Estate that can't lose its value by name of the perp. There's too much to lose, especially in a State Capitol with the biggest and fattest market growing with the Intel Communities, Government, Technology, Entertainment, the white collar, grade A University' of the South. Others are aware, acknowledge your situation, but refuse to speak up due to the fear of lawsuit, or other malfeasance. Even they know your kid has been going hell with the perp who now has full custody.

      You try fighting. But after 10 years you simply have zero left.

      Targeted Individuals are real. And what I just shared. Is how.

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      Elizabeth Marshal 

      5 months ago

      I am a victim of covert abuse but not by a spouse but by my family. I have been enduring this abuse for more than 10 years

      My life is in danger. My attaker s have control over everything I do. They have control over my phones

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      Agent73 

      6 months ago

      K, I am happy for you that you are seeing through all this. I have a suggestion. Keep a journal. I even have a copyright on it. Make certain that no one can find or read it. Diaries can be used against you in court and will be used against you by your persecutor(s). You must keep this a secret.

      The Key to the Universe;

      Revelation One Nineteen

      Write down a brief account of your day, your problems that day, and a list of tasks to do the next day.

      ©1985 Paul Noblin

      Warm Regards... Paul.

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      6 months ago

      Mother courage...I too felt all alone. Impossible to imagine this happening to me unthinkable that others could be put through the same abuse. 17 years of marriage and it took me finally getting control of my alcohol abuse to see what was going on. And yes, once we realize what they are and expose them then they get brutal. Do and say things that you never could have imagined. Then realize the abuse that we’ve been out through for years was actual abuse and not expected and acceptable because of what we did to cause them to behave that way. And then to realize that they have been “training” your own children to believe and choose a world that they created with lies. That they choose to sacrifice their own children’s future selves and relationship with their own mom. And for what? Probably different in every situation but for me it was that my husband, who was 25 years older than me, loved very young hookers. They meant more than me, his children, and whatever they had to do was just icing on the cake. It is something that, unless you have lived it, you will never know the hell. And I never thought myself to be naive. Never was I weak in the terms of needing to have someone that would make me stay in a marriage that went bad. But this will sideswipe you, leave you confused and trying to make sense of it, leave you paralyzed with sadness and make you a shell of who you used to be. That’s what being married to true evil will do. Married to someone that tries to make you so sad and hurt you relentlessly in hopes that you will kill yourself. You can know someone going through this, you can hear their stories and listen to their pain for days and days but you will never truly understand what it’s like. It is hell on earth. And prayers for anyone going thought this. Crawl out of that dark empty space and do anything you can think of to bring yourself some happiness, if only for an hour a day to start out with. Slowly that hour will turn into two, then three, and so on. And understand that you’ll have days that knocks you on your ass and you feel like nothing again, but keep trying. Don’t give up. Have have that one day it won’t hurt to live and someone else has their live to live and not yours...so take yours back!!!

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      Sarah A 

      6 months ago

      Thank you so much from this article. I am a mother of 3 married 14 years going through extreme covert abuse. Im so sorry for any of you going through this. Im in the middle of having a mental brake down. Good informative article. God bless

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      ginger petito 

      6 months ago

      The way to get out is find someone to help you. family, friend, co-worker, pastor, rabbi, priest, social worker. There is a way out and that way is an ORDER OF PROTECTION!!! This is all emotional, psychological and physical abuse. These Narcisistic Sociopaths are evil monsters and they will you use, abuse you, set you up and laugh in your face while they do it. They know exactly what they do and actually get a thrill out of it. So please get out and get an Order of Protection (Restraining Order) to protect you so you may find the strength to recover and get your life back. I have had experience with these monster and can tell you that the minute I got the Order of Protection on my last boyfriend, it has stopped him in his tracks. Please, please, please consider getting an Order of Protection. Document everything. Keep a log of the harassment and stalking and abuse with dates and times, recordings, emails and any witnesses and get to your local court house for this order. It'll be the best thing you could do to help yourself and your children. Be safe and God Bless

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      Becoming the real King I was born into Royalty,step aside poser 

      6 months ago

      Again here we find an arrogant blind mislead by his own pathetic jealous lunatic who proves on talented individuals who they wish they could be. You you you you this you that all that energy wasted on disrupting gifted individuals, just a fabricated illusion of distraction and jealousy, if you put just as much energy into harrassing geniuses you might point that finger at your envious heartless bittered little person you are. Stay in your on lane, for you that means off the street and freeway and out of our way. We are destined for greatness you curb enthusiast. Words cut deep, but what hurts more is when you ignore a critically mentally abused human being by your hands continuous pleads to STOP. I stand up to bully's like you , don't afraid to defend your self, make noise m, make reports keep logs file a harassment case the laws on cyber harassment are changing with the help of people like me who prove their cases with documentation screen shots and reporting all data to authorities, believe me there are a lot of us out there so take a stand or you will regret it, this will make you stronger. Everyday is another chance to turn it all around. Don't worry I'm forwarding this chain to Facebook, let's take the bullies out of their pathetic behind the desk at home in pajamas ass at make them famous!! It's what they want apparently they gloat on sites like github, he's probably on their too. Good luck warrior!!

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      Mother Courage 

      6 months ago

      I've been married to a narcissist/psychopath for 34 years. Since I found out about his real character 4 years ago and uncovered him my life is a living hell. He manipulated everybody around me including my children, 32 and 26. I thought my daughter who just finished her masters in counseling!! the irony!! would understand and help but just the opposite happened.I realized he was cheating, manipulating, lying, being in total control, withholding sex and blaming me for it, making all decisions all these years and I was so terribly blind. Now I'm sitting here, so very sick, depressed and lonely because nobody is believing me.I'm so at my end.

    • sparkster profile imageAUTHOR

      Marc Hubs 

      6 months ago from United Kingdom

      Quite a story, I'm sorry you've had to go through this. I say that the truth will always come out in the end - even if it does take time (many years). Are you still in a relationship with this man?

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      Shelley 

      6 months ago

      I’ve been married to this kind of man for 28 years. The first 10 years we’re pretty nice, he really charmed to me And he seems so devotefd & life seemed good. But then my daughter was born and she became to him a way to control and manipulate me. I can see this all now. As soon as she was old enough to communicate with him he began undermining her relationship with me. He seemed very devoted to her, but she was only to him a weapon of control and power. Whatever I did no matter how appropriate and good it was, he turned it around to make it look as if I was crazy and abusive. It really was systematic brainwashing. And he indulged her.her and gave her whatever she wanted and never said no. He was always the good cop and I was always the bad. Things have become so horrific that my life is a living nightmare. Is it likely that she will see things for what they really are when she finally leaves home? I hope and pray she will because she is the world to me. What kind of a man needs to destroy a child’s love for her mother? It’s sheer wickedness...

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      San D Warren 

      6 months ago

      I've been married 28 years to a covert narcissist. I am just now understanding this evil I've been married to. I was love bombed at the age of 29 by this handsome doctor at the hospital I worked. Married 9 months after our first date. Children started arriving 2 years later. He eventually talked me into giving up my nursing license and be a stay at home Mom. Over the past 25 years he has somehow managed to take away my self-worth, gives me an allowance of $200 a week to buy groceries and household needs. If I go to grocery store I have to show receipts and am only allowed to stay gone 2-3 hours.

      He is considered the most well respected person in our small town. He gives away around $50,000 a year to those he deems in need and then makes sure everyone somehow knows of his generosity. i am constantly reminded by all how lucky I am to be married to such a fine, generous Christian man.

      I still stay at home only because now I suffer from Chrohn disease as diagnosed by his colleague. I weigh around 95 pounds and have no energy and strength. It is not Chrohns but stress related from being belittled about everything I say and do by him, in private of course. He is constantly telling me I have severe psychological issues, yet refuses me access to any therapist. I am a nervous wreck when he comes home waiting to see what he will say to me. Yes, he is slowly killing me and laughing in my face.

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      BTworkingthearpy 

      6 months ago

      My brother and his wife read a old book called the art of warfare then they applied to me so I’d be their source of entertainment which held their marriage together because I was the Only one who they could do it and get away with it because at the time. I had no idea about adult protective services for people with even mental disabilities. They exploited me over money they wanted and my brother ps interest came from our mother whom I’ve never had a relationship with it. She also played the same game which was spelled out above within this article. My brother is now divorced and I’m way way way worst off. Because I was their toy as they told me or knew they were abusing me ( Ie my mother) because they could and no one cared yet I had a huge career that they harmed. Never was the same ever now I have PTSD etc I loved my brother yet just like his mother. He can’t love

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      Cynthia Hubert 

      7 months ago

      This article hits home with me! I feel the same identity crisis in my life now. I have never felt more obligated to do something about this. I feel that this person who is outside of my awareness is trying to make me feel guilty about everything while (they) have their life in order with husband, marriage, kids, etc. But they will do anything to make me feel bad about having anyone special in my life. They constantly make me feel worried and trapped. They create this horror flick and then act like they are saving me from it. I can't stand how someone can be this manipulating and consider themselves my suppose "soulmate". You made me commit murder, and now you are slowly trying to make me question my insanity cause this is what manipulators do.

      I was driven to a place of madness, first kidnapped out of my bed then drugged and used for a wreckless crime. I was driven mad before all this, then insulted and told that I was going to die and be shot in the back of my head if I didn't pull the trigger. I was then blackmailed by everyone within " their community" and multiple videos were sent out. Imagine taking someones innocence and now trying to make them feel bad. I know that no matter how hard she tries this will never make sense to their communities and plays . The acting the fake egos and the snakes. As all one in one goes they are created to sabotage and hurt others.

      So at the end who is the true victim ?

      The one who forcefully tortured the victim or the abuser?

      You decide who has to live with this energy?

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      Suzanne Marie Sheppard 

      7 months ago

      I can’t take it anymore! I have nothing and no one left.

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      YouNa 

      7 months ago

      I've been living this for the last 10 years I've identified what it is that I'm living in within the last 2 to 3 years. It is absolute INSANITY. Evil truly is the the correct adjective. Luckily I'm a strong male who has stood up to this and has put personalities such as these in there place and things have gone more covert but there is absolute hatred between myself and in-laws. HATRED. We maintain for public perception and they maintain to look like the innocent party to their daughter but it's absolutely CRAZY. Like recording of conversations calling my extended family in other States to spread drama, gossip and lies. Gaslighting is a very natural trait of theirs so much so that it's like breathing for them. Every counselor that I've been to and my mother has been to because of all of this has said this is the worst case they've ever heard.

      I need a real therapist who specializes in this and unfortunately they're are none that specialize or that are qualified in my area. Are there any the counsel through the web with web cams?

      As my friends have said this could escalate into a very grave or dire situation.

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      C Lero 

      8 months ago

      This is being done to me

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      Aaron Joseph Deloreto 

      8 months ago

      A woman named madison turley did this to me and i believe she is doing this to others

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      8 months ago

      I'm going through all this now and for almost 7 years. All I want is just to die already though I'm not old. But I really don't have anyone to turn to. I can't take any more stress. He doesn't like when I feel happy, doesn't like when I'm sad, there's no winning, im exhausted and I can't see the end of it, I don't have anything in my life to make it possible to leave and continue living

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      Sharon 

      8 months ago

      mine is long distant emotional abuse.. Stonewalling.. He made out he loved me and we had a few weeks together.. After an argument he hit me.. And he came back this year and refused to see me.. All made me very depressed .. This has been 3/ half years.. Now I'm blocked again.. He seemed a lovely man and it's all made me very poorly.. I tried to take my own life.. It's hell .. I still love him....

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      Bea 

      8 months ago

      My husband is a blend of personality disorders he'll never seek help for. I spent 27 yrs waiting for moments of love that came and left so fast, they hardly matter. I was a normal person with hopes and abilities, and just enough self-doubt to think I needed someone to love me. In the end,still married, after a fear-based existence for decades. I have no one, and I am upset with myself for wasting my perfectly good life with this asshole. I am 61, and he is the only thing making me feel old. I thought of suicide, but he'd make that work for him. Because of his influences, I became agoraphobic, OCD, and chronically ill. I gave up my career and friends to isolate myself on an island of despair and unworthiness. He made me crazy, or crazier, because I obviously was crazy-I saw "The Burning Bed", and still married him... Point is, I am done being punished, and now seek to reward myself for still being here, alive, and with a future that I will control - because I woke up this morning knowing I am done. I embrace the battle ahead, because I am leaving hell behind and saving the rest of my life, whatever it takes. When I met my husband, he asked what I wanted most in life. I said, "Happiness at any cost.", and now I know the cost. I send a hug to each one of you who have suffered the loss of love, trust, and vision in yourselves while devoting your lives to someone else's needs. Forgive and love yourself and make your own dreams come true. The difference is that narcissists can only act like that, YOU can experience true emotion and heal.

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      Kim Morton 

      8 months ago

      I went from the frying pan into the fryer. I grew up in an abusive family or I should say and abusive father. He was a destructive alcoholic, and my mother brother and I used to follow him to his various bars with our bags packed. One bar that comes to mind was called The Body Shop. I grew up thinking the abuse was a normal way of life. My husband that I just divorced a year and a half ago was a covert narcissist I was married over 15 years to him. am I divorced him my dad took over again and controlled me. He was a straw buyer when I purchased my home and put $58,000 down and have made every single payment since because I couldn't qualify for the loan after my divorce. my dad is now trying to take my home away from me. He's close to two of my bank accounts he's got me fired from my job he made me take a leave of absence because he couldn't handle my mother who's a zombie now because of years of abuse from him so she moved in with me he was supposed to pay me and never did I had to go on welfare because I was at work for 3 months and now he's taking my home because he thinks he can even though I pay for everything. I thought about suicide more than once. I'm done I'm absolutely freaking done! I'm 51 years old and have never been able to live my life for me

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      Survivor 

      8 months ago

      There should be a law to protect us or at least help

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      survivor 

      8 months ago

      this needs to be in film

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      survivor 

      8 months ago

      for half a century an older sibling has been doing this to me

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      Anon 

      8 months ago

      Same thing here. GF has been keeping a homless person by the name of Noelle Dionne. Money, car, food, health. Gotten to the point where he breaks in and sleeps in the house while we are asleep. Im afraid for my life

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      Beth 

      8 months ago

      I had a boyfriend like this.He had me a complete mess mentally.I already suffered from depression and Asperger's syndrome etc.

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      Tim Taylor 

      8 months ago

      I never realized there was such a thing until a dear friend showed me this article. Wow, I was blown away. I spent the last 20 years of my life with the person I thought was my best friend. She alienated me from my friends and family telling me time and time again they didn't care about me until I started to believe her. Multiple Affairs over 20 years and I stuck around believing that I couldn't get any better. That I was the problem. Everything was all my fault and she was Vindicated for all the wrongs she done to me. I admit I'm a little old school and I believed that my vows were important. She's taking my dignity, my happiness, my humility, and drove me to the brink of suicide several times. But I promise you one thing she will never take my soul. Thank you for this I opening article.

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      Suzy Kue 

      8 months ago

      Outstanding! Actually, my abusive ex-husband (divorced October 1996) stalks using adult children, family members, "friends", tracking currently on vehicle, etc. sent this noose hanging article to me February 2018

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      aaron delrey 

      8 months ago

      i am writing this to bring to light what has been happening to me . i have been harrassed online and driven to the brink of suicide by . an ex fling that turned out to be as evil as they come. she stole my credit card info . hwr and her friends have hacked into my phone bullied me . and now im suicidal here name is MADISON Turley

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      Randy Lahee 

      8 months ago

      I'm probably going to

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      Randy Lahee 

      8 months ago

      I've been a victim of this for a while gaslighting psychological torture basically the people who are doing this source of Rich Kidz I think that they can get off by doing this to people that they think that

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      Randy Lahee 

      8 months ago

      Ive been a victim of covert abuse for 3 months the girl who does it to me has been doing to impress some guy they also took me in and identity theft scheme

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      nj 

      8 months ago

      Amazing - this is EXACTLY what happens

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      Dragonfly789 

      8 months ago

      This is the best article Ive ever seen detailing the soul crushing experience ive had

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      Debbie 

      9 months ago

      My Xhusband has put me through hell with what he did. His abuse has put me in the hospital twice because I was suicidal. I never knew who l married until we separated after l found out he was cheating. He was very good with his deception. For ten years he acted as if for most part he loved me. If anyone acts the one thing l knew was he loved me and would never cheat. I found out cheating was just a part of it. He tried to kill me one night. He had hooked up a propane tank to our dryer inside our home. I questioned it over and over again but in the end l knew he loved me and would never hurt me. I could not have been more wrong. I found out he had talked to his best friend about divorcing me. I found out 3 months after we married he was writing an old girl friend asking to stay the weekend with her. I found out he was telling everyone l forced him to adopt our daughter. I found out he had tricked me into signing a quit deed and never wanted me to move into our home we had just bought. But the thing l found out that turned my world upside down was he had never loved me and the night that l suspected that he tried to blow up the house with me in it was confirmed when l received the VA hospital report where he said over and over he had homicide feelings towards me and in his own words " could eliminated his problem (me) and make it look like an accident. Reading how he really felt about me took me to my lowest point in life. This man who said and acted as if he loved me had never loved me, it was all an act. He was incapable of loving anyone. He had no empathy, guilt or remorse he was a psychopath. The mind games he played left me questioning my life and myself. While l loved this man and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him he wanted me dead so he could move on from our life together. I try to explain to people the pain of knowing the man l loved with all my heart just wanted my heart to stop beating. In a lot of ways it has. I will never be the same but l will not be quiet either. Keeping quiet let's these people continue to abuse people in the most horrendous way. They strip you of everything you are and something what you have too. I will not let what happen to me be forgotten, l can't. I will tell my story over and over again until change happens and people are heard. Intill the abusers are held accountable for their actions. One of the worst things for me was knowing this government employee told his co-workers he want to kill me. He told the VA hospital he wanted to kill me. The police knew he wanted to kill me but noone told me he wanted to kill me. This left me feeling alone and worthless. It made me feel l was not worth saving. That l was nothing in comparison to this government employee. This in the end left me wanting to take my own life. How unfair. Things need to change and it has to be soon before others do take there own life or the abuser takes the life of the abused.

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      haizel 

      9 months ago

      so I could explain what happened last several years but owell. nothing can be done now, and do I even know what to do.

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      Michele. 

      9 months ago

      That was so well written and it dies help a little to know that there is someone out there who.... knows.....thank you.

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      Annonymous GF 911 

      9 months ago

      I'm in a relationship with a narcosist sociopath but we live out in the country with his parents and sister it's like the whole family is narcosists sociopaths I need help where do I go

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      Fucked over by ex and tx courts 

      9 months ago

      Reading the stories exactly what I'm having to go through and exactly how I feel and a struggle with defending myself because it's my daughter's mother I struggle with what's right and what's wrong and what it what should I do and how can I do it and is there any way that I can do this without hurting anybody. A friend told me I'm fighting evil there is no rules and then if I don't stop it and do something it'll continue. But how do you document something like this how do you catch them and how do you get enough evidence that proves what they're doing since these people don't admit or have a conscience or assuming responsibility there's got to be some way to expose them. Before I met my ex-wife everything I did and put my effort into him I found success in it somehow I found something good in it and I learn something and I enjoyed it and I experienced something it's all I can do to get up out of bed anymore my child is being abused by having me cast out of the house state of Texas is abusing me because of the false charges and the false accusations my ex-wife is made I'm basically been sold into slavery and I'm committing a felony as we speak because I can take care of my child both of us I don't make that kind of money. I felt suicidal at times and I admit the future looks bleak I've even stopped, let's just say that the only way I see it getting out of this is to abandon my child and everything I love and if I'm lucky I can start over that's if I can scrape up the money to buy a new identity in the new life and leave everything behind that I love or I can commit suicide or I can continue to live like this and she can get away with it then my child will turn out just like her and everything is just like she wanted it my ex-wife of course

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      Randy Saunders 

      9 months ago

      I am a Navy veteran from 1975. After I got out and went into college where I'm at my sweetheart and married her. We were married 33 years and she passed away 6 years ago to cancer in my arms and the house that she grew up in we bought it and remodeled it. It's on the Chesapeake Bay so we see the sunrise every morning.

      We had a lucrative business until 9/11 happen. I started noticing communist negative input in our lives. Around 1990 I started becoming more and more where I'm stalking against me. Slander and other issues physical assaults, mental assaults, and our beloved police officers stalking me and laughing and pointing and making comments about me when people were around. Shortly after I lost my father and my mother which we were all the family business. In 1998 I was forced from our business where we started working in other jobs we both had two to three jobs at any given time. Through powers of observation I learned that the police were coming in behind me on my job sites and making comments shortly after I was fired. This is been going on for quite some time. The most recent was when I was working for a medical supply Corporation as a Stitcher but keeping another job as a canvas maker. I'm a second-generation upholster. 2 years after I'd lost my wife, things really started getting depressed. I didn't necessarily turn to drugs and or alcohol. But I would have an occasional beer. That was just to take the edge off. I was being stalked everywhere I went by police officers and other private citizens, all making hideous comments and spreading rumors. Well I have quite a few friends around and they started noticing things happening to me also. On multiple occasions lady and Men friends would approach me, and notify me of what was going on but they did not want to get involved, which I can understand that. Well long story short I have been beaten down teeth knocked out by no less than 12 individuals one time and the cop said it was simple assault. The second time they came around they came around with a shotgun and aimed it at me in front of my house. Since the law wouldn't take it to anything other than a simple assault after calling them they didn't show for an hour and a half. Mind you I'm only 15 minutes away from the station. So to keep this in perspective I had to defend myself and I did and I haven't seen him since. Anyway I have gotten a second DUI after having a beer and now I'm forced to ride a bicycle for no less than 11. I've been run off into the ditch twice by some of the locals and nearly killed. Well when I had reported it in face to face with one of the deputy sheriff's, the comment was were there any Witnesses? I replied no I guess they're just too good for that to get caught. He kind of puffed up and said there's nothing he could do call him next time here is his card. So after talking with a few of the close friends with in the neighborhood they informed me that I was a Target and that nobody is to believe me or trust me and that I was crazy. So I had to sell my home and I took a hundred 32500 hit on it. I had a certain amount of time to get out, now I found out yesterday I was taken to court buy the new homeowner and I have only 10 days to get out from today. I have no help anywhere to move or any place to go to except out in the street. Mind you I have over 45 years worth of belongings antiques paintings probably $5,000 in hand tools and sewing machines not including other miscellaneous equipment such as trailers and vehicles. After 10 days there will be lots put on the doors so I can't return. And according to Virginia law that they have a right to do that. I have rescue animals that I love dearly, and Records and files pictures Etc of my past life with my wife. I know I'm being extorted by the law because I have to pay around 15 to 20 thousand after all is said and done and then maybe ASAP let me have my license back in 2020. There is no way possible I can survive on the street till 2020 and possibly maybe get my license back. The lawyer I had is local and I found out he's in the click. As a matter of fact the last person I was working for in the construction field was a neighbor an arrogant son of a b**** that has more money than brains has all kinds of hot rod cars motorcycles boats ADI ADI Adi. As a matter of fact he has possession of a trailer that would help me move and hasn't brought it back in over 2 years. Well he made the statement to a couple of my lady neighbors that really liked me that he was going to take me out and put me down don't have to call the ambulance to pick up the pieces. Mind you I have done nothing but good for him made him plenty of money and all he does is puts people down a true narcissist and sociopath and Bully 10 years my younger with no respect for nothing but his on. He's even made comments that I was a queer ass sailor and that infuriated me to no end, that was the last straw I walked off and haven't been back since. I just happened across this article as I was Googling for some help to save my life. I have no one to help me and I don't know who to turn to or what to do accept end it all.

      I pray for all these people and everyone that has going through this stalking and metal murder because that's exactly what it is. It's so funny that our government that is sworn to protect us isn't doing a damn thing and that's coming from a Christian believe it or not. Yes I'm angry but I have to forgive the people. I do not forgive the evil they do however.

      I've been researching over the web about gang stalking and the intent and the harm that they impose on others for whatever reason.

      Through research and self testing I believe that I am a injt personality which makes up about 2% of the world population. I have some psychic abilities from my mother's side. If you would like to learn more about it you can go to spread the light net worth or are angels watching over us not words on YouTube and it's quite enlightening. I've always been a quiet individual a lover and a hugger not a hater and a fighter.

      I know there are angels watching over me all of the signs are there. However I've come to the point in my life I have no other recourse except to go sideways unless I can find some help. And I'm not talking about suicide hotline or psychiatric help because everything I've done and said to him they look at you like you're crazy. Will it just so happens I'm quite sane and I'm not going off half-cocked. Only have two nephews left in life and they have their own lives to live.

      I sent my last will and testament to one of my nephews yesterday, funny thing is yesterday was my late wife's birthday she would have been 60. I keep hearing her voice saying it will be alright sweetheart will be here for you. And it's one of the most quiet and calm and at peace with myself as best can be. There are signs that angels are watching over saw. A butterfly, a cardinal, and eagle or Hawk, and or a song on the radio or my pets coming up and laying on me. These are only a few signs that I'm personally watched over. So I pray for all of us to hurt Souls that are going through something similar or even worse. I really want to live but I know I can't and this is probably my last text that I will do to anyone except my nephew just before in my life. I've really been praying because I really want to live, but there's no possible way to find another home or place to live or any way to get there. I guess what really gets to me is that all these people that want to be heroes or nothing but zeros because they just want to come in and stop a suicide to make themselves look good as so many people are doing nowadays. I was always brought up and a good Christian environment and I know it's wrong to take any life. But to hear how police and the law and judges are doing nowadays we're all just headed for a downfall anyway. There is no upbeat to life any longer. I really don't want pity from anyone, I won't accept charity because there are people that are in worse shape than I am to believe it or not. I can only ask for any Christians or believers to pray for my soul. Is there anyone that can help? Please RSVP me. Thank you

    • profile image

      Gbm 

      9 months ago

      This is me. Married as a teen and it had been 18 years of hell. This article hit home. I have 3 kids and one with very severe disabilities. Have asked for divorce but have no money and he refuses, says he will drag me through the mud leaving me in the streets like the garbage I am. I have lost my family, my friends. I’m no one. I have nothing. I own zero. Not even a dollar to my name. He did well in leaving me financially dependent on him even legally. I feel like I need to end myself, but who am leaving my kids with? I can’t do that to them. They’ll be grown in a few more years. I have accepted happiness is not meant for me.

    • profile image

      Who cares 

      9 months ago

      This is my life and I’m hanging on by a mere thread. I’m at the end. She has taken all, and it just goes on and on and I see no end in site. I had a life, and it is gone. I am gone. I am tired to the bone. My kids have been what I have stayed alive for. That is nearing an end as I sit with an overwhelming mountain of spousal support past due and child support past due. Well into the hundreds of thousands. I truly gave it my best, I really did. I gave her everything I had emotionally, financially. I literally have not one thing left to give anyone. It will never end. Never. Unless I suppose I commit myself to a state asylum as mentally incompetent or insane. Or allow them to put me in jail for the support debt. Who wants those options? That’s no life. I hope my spirit somehow carries something forward that helps shine a light on the system and how women can use and abuse it to legally destroy, lie, steal and murder a soul. But something tells me it won’t happen that way. In fact pretty sure if it it. Either way, there is literally no reason to live. So I am not going to anymore.

    • profile image

      Amycrad6 

      10 months ago

      This was my life for 28 years and six children. I thought if I just kept trying, if I do what he says, if I’m a better Christian wife! I kept thinking it would get better but he got meaner, and more abusive not to mention affairs! Good loving friends tried to tell me on several occasions over the years but I was so busy with our children I literally thought he couldn’t possibly have time!!!! That is why we finally divorced because I accidentally uncovered an affair with a woman 20 years younger that me! Good times! Lol The last 7 years of our marriage I wasn’t allowed any money because “ I couldn’t handle it” not even allowed to buy groceries!!! I could go on and on! I finally divorced him but had to move out of my beautiful home and 10 acres! His new wife and he live in it now and I still struggle to stand it!!!! My 6 children and most everyone I ever knew has loved me but lately my daughter I. Laws are acting weird to me I really feel it has to do with him. I want to keep trying in this life but it’s so hard! I don’t like shopping much because he always called me disgusting, fat lazy and I feel everyone probably thinks that! Most friends family etc. are great to me but sometimes I just feel ruined! I don’t date at all and don’t even give good eye contact to men because it’s so uncomfortable!!! But I do love men!!! Most of my children are men and they are great! I don’t know how except Gods grace! I feel if I can just understand maybe I can get better!

    • profile image

      Jessicalee00 

      10 months ago

      My heart aches reading this article. I wish people could see thru the man I married. I have done exactly what this article said some would do. I've come to the point that I no longer have the strength to fight back and just go with it. If I could leave I would in a heartbeat. I just don't have it in me anymore because he will continue to do what he's done in the past when I got the courage to go the first and the second time. And that was to completely destroy me mentally and ruin my reputation as much as he could. He does a good job at that. He's great at telling people even the ones who don't know me that "I'm crazy" and "I'm overdramatic". He'll tell people about an incident that occurred but he'll only say his version and not what really happened. I feel like a bird in a cage. Just recently today he randomly blurts out that it texting a " him". There's no him. I'm in the house almost 24/7 minus an hour or so to go the store. Literally, have no time for a "him". I'm not given any time to be out longer than I should at the store. If I am my cell phones ringing asking where I am. The fire inside me has gone out and I've now excepted that this is how my life is and this is the man I married. No one would believe me for a second. He knows how to talk. He is fantastic at it. He's always been. He did a great job speaking to me when he first met me. He intrigued me. Please don't ever jump to conclusions when you meet a sweet talker. You never know what you'll get yourself into.

    • profile image

      Robin 

      10 months ago

      My sister is goin threw the the very exactly same thing describe here, there should be somethin that can be done about this level of cruelty, anger, almost have to call it punishable, etc.. if there are plz let me know, my sister doesn’t have much longer w/us, she has a rare form of cancer, (incurable at that) & this constant torment, & so many others to go along w/it, I worry for her

    • profile image

      SAMANTHA 

      10 months ago

      Thank you. I just think I never have proof. Its going on for 6yrs. Maybe longer. I have escaped for 10mos but whoever it is found me

    • profile image

      Jurlone 

      10 months ago

      So what happens when it's the woman doing it to the father. When the father did nothing wrong but be good to his kids work like a man supposed to love his family. What happens when that man has done everything possible for a woman that is taking out every issue in her life on that man that did good for her. What happens when that woman slept with a 22 year old little boy and was 35 years old while that man not only has been gone to service country three times in Iraq but works down here in the oil field long hours to support his family. Then still manages to take his daughter to softball come home at 10:30 at night play with his youngest daughter till midnight and then turn around and get up at 3 a.m. every freaking day. A man that is always gone out of his way to help people a man that believes in God. And also a man that have been cheated on multiple times while deployed in Iraq and in his own home here while his oldest daughter watched it unfold but he's such a bad man right.

    • profile image

      yvonne radford 

      10 months ago

      my mother has now passed away, but she too has suffered this past 1 1/2 years I too am still suffering, as this arsehole had deliberately destroyed a mother/daughter relationship. where do I go from here, I cannot just let it go,l this arsehole and his carer should pay for their crimes.

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