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Psychological Murder: Death by Covert Abuse

Marc Hubs is a writer/researcher on mind, science, and conspiracy. He is the author of "Know Your Enemy: Reflections of NPD."

Psychological murder, or pernicious abuse, is one of the most unrecognized forms of violence.

Psychological murder, or pernicious abuse, is one of the most unrecognized forms of violence.

What Is Pernicious Abuse?

It goes unrecognized but it exists.

It exists an extremely covert level.

It happens behind the scenes without anyone even being aware of what the problem is—the real problem.

No evidence of it is left behind and no one has ever been convicted of it yet in reality, pernicious abuse is something that can and does have a devastating effect, not just on the victim, but also within society. Pernicious abuse can lead a person into carrying out acts such as covert psychological murder, or perhaps even covert psychological manslaughter—something that is very real, insidious in nature but unfortunately unrecognized and virtually unquestioned.

Psychological murder can take many forms but the type I'm really referring to is of a covertly narcissistic and/or sociopathic nature. It may be too difficult for some people to be able to comprehend but it does happen and I've seen it.

Narcissistic/Sociopathic (narcopathic) abuse takes place when a narcissist or sociopath (or narcopath) attempts to convince someone who has discovered their unbelievably shallow secrets, gradually over time, that they are crazy and proceeds to manipulate them into keeping quiet or to ultimately face their wrath. They use techniques such as crazy-making, character assassination and gaslighting in order to get their victim(s) to question their own sanity.

They generally do so by ostracizing the victim while continuing to act out their part, expertly hiding their truly outrageous behaviour, whilst successfully having everyone around them fooled—everything is done to appease those around them while their manipulative and controlling tactics take place behind the scenes, outside of people's awareness. The victim is forced to question their own sanity because they don't realize that they are the victim, as everything done to manipulate them takes place outside of their conscious awareness.

The longer time goes on and the longer the victim tries to do something about it, the more severe the abuse becomes. The narcissist/sociopath has already built an army of unwitting abusers who all help to drive the victim crazy. The long-term consequences of these actions can be a devastating, soul crushing and reality-shattering path to be led down.

Of course, there are many other types of abuse that can have just as damaging and severe long-term consequences. However, psychological forms of abuse such as gaslighting, mental rape, slander, defamation and distortion campaigns of a person's reputation are done so covertly and expertly that they are very rarely identified early enough.

The abuser, when carrying out these covert tasks, is faceless and undercover.

The long-term consequences of a narcopath's abuse can be a devastating.

The long-term consequences of a narcopath's abuse can be a devastating.

Narcopathic Abuse

Victims of this type of abuse are commonly left with no resources they can use to escape the situation; the abuser has stolen their finances, their identity and has turned the victim's own family and friends against them, due to the malicious web of lies and deceit that have been woven. The victim is trapped with no way out...or at least that is what they are made to believe.

Although victims go through what can only be described as being dragged through hell backwards, narcissistic and sociopathic abuse via heightened communication is so difficult to pick up on the human radar of perception that the victim is usually left scratching their head asking, "Is it me?"

They have been made to believe that they are the problem. Such abusers are so shallow that they may cheat on their partner on significant occasions such as Valentine's day or while they are away at a funeral—at times when the victim will least expect it.

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Not only that, they will do it with the person the victim suspects the least...time and time again.

In many cases, the victim may turn to drugs or alcohol as a means of escape. The stress they are forced to endure can be so severe that if they don't find some kind of release in order to feel a sense of escape, they continue to build up with overwhelming tension, anxiety, emotional suffering and may develop an overactive mind, which can literally drive them crazy—post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can soon follow.

That's not to say that the drugs will either prevent it from happening or even slow the process down—they won't. They will only exacerbate the situation in the long run.

Psychological Murder

The abuser never quits abusing and the victim's self-esteem gets worn down to the core until they go through a process of devaluation, dehumanization and dissociation. The victim has been made to feel that they are nothing in this world; they now have nothing, they now have no meaning and nowhere to go and nobody wants them anymore except for the narcissistic/sociopathic abuser, who can now use the victim as their emotional/mental slave. The narcopath is now their God.

The process is so subliminal and it happens so gradually that it could take place over the course of ten or twenty or even thirty years or more. The victim knows that even if they did escape the situation the abuser would probably continue to ruin the rest of their life or future relationships anyway and, in many cases, after the partner has left, the abuser continues to drive them crazy gradually destroying their reputation, their life and their soul—sometimes referred to as "soul murder."

Eventually, the victim may be left feeling suicidal but fearful that others would see it as a selfish act. Additionally, they don't want others to be left picking up the pieces they left behind because they do feel real true genuine empathy. For this reason, many victims believe they have no choice but to continue suffering the abuse and may feel that the damage is already done.

Some victims may ultimately decide to continue to pump as much alcohol or drugs into their system as they can. This way they can use it not only as a form of escapism but also to slowly kill themselves so that they can reach the point that they have to suffer the abuse no longer. Others may not turn to substance abuse but may end up suffering fatal medical issues as a result of the abuse alone, which may potentially lead to death a result of pernicious abuse.

Some may have given up on their hopes of escape and may have just accepted things the way they are (conditioned into co-dependence) but unless they are an inverted narcissist, then the stress will eventually take its toll. Stress is well known to cause a myriad of health problems, both mental and physical, many of which can be fatal.

Ultimately, the victim takes the knowledge of their covert psychological murder to the grave, which forever remains a secret inside the mind of the abuser.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.

© 2011 Marc Hubs

Comments

Bansheeintheeyesmalone76 on July 02, 2020:

Im literally living this nightmare and have been for the past 9 years or more.. This man is the lesson i never needed to learn..I didn't know what an evil man he was until 2years ago fully, although after a year i knew there was something a miss,but like many others i blamed myself for the treatment i was recieving daily,as that's what i had drilled into me. Even my own family,children and some of the friends i had thought i was the cause for the silent treatment,ghosting,disappearences,abuse etc and couldn't see he was the puppet master an im just the puppet with strings he has in his hands.. He made out he was a family man, loyal, loving, with morals,respect,decency that has always been the lame dog who had always had the roughest end in life..But my goodness he is actually the opposite of his fake persona in fact he is the epiphy of evil in carnate..I am still in this situation now, with the realisation of what has been happening hasn't helped me escape from his clutches at all.. He stepped up his campaign of abuse,galslighting,cheating, living off me, treating me worse then you would a lame dog,berating, name calling,ghosting, withholding affection,hateful,vile,threatening,undermining ways after i got pregnant with our son,but even more so after our son was born he was even worse as he was in control fully by using getting my son taken away from me by any means necessary and due to my past history of addiction and alcholism he could very easily carry out his threats sucessfully.. So thats when everything tripled on the abuse etc..Im still stuck in it now on the grounds of he will make up stories to authoritive figures to take my baby away from me knowing its my worst fear and as he says they will believe him over me everytime because im an ex alcholic and junkie etc his words as i don't consider myself a junkie but a ex drug user of amphetimines for mostly weight control and to get up and go more etc only ever taken orally.. So im stuck, its making me feel mentally destroyed and physically drained,anxious, pain etc..These abominations are on another level of abuse i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy..When he's seeing someone else behind my back he's actually even more destructive,vile,abusive and lies about everything even silly things.. He also don't let me rest or have anytime to myself if he's in the house he will tell me our baby needs something he doesn't majority of the time just so i don't get a minute too do something im doing can be as much as sorting washing out to having a bath,as well as don't care if he wakes me up as he comes to bed in early hours mostly after he's finished his disgusting messages to various women sending videos of his private parts etc,gets into bed and shoves me up,grabs pillars from under my head even though he has 3 on his side,climbs close to me and puts his cold bits on my back etc,sticks his elbows into my neck and head at times,wakes me up to verbally abuse me telling me im hated by everyone, im a slob, im a man,lesbian,junkie,waste etc and he's had enough and soon hes taking my baby away from me and purposely laying on his back so he snores and if i ask him to turn over he ignores me or starts swearing at me etc..Never knew such things existed as these narcopaths in society, only in nut houses,prisons and documentries on tv etc.. Didn't see it coming at all..All i can say is that monsters really do exist and sadly as you put it covertly in amongst us and until you are in a situation with one you have no idea what evil their is inside..So my advice to anyone who finds out that they are up against one right now is get away from them,run away,hide,seek help and go no contact..These specimins are souless,dead behind the eyes,twisted,calculating evil incarnate,inhuman,unfeeling and physchotic freaks that can not ever change no matter what you do to make it different the horrors,persecution and alienation you will endure will leave you a former waife of who you once were with your soul shattered and scars that will never heal..

Cari124@me.com on June 23, 2020:

The article is really interesting. Would like to do more work on this area could you recommend someone who takes clients? Thanks

Quinn Edwin Dillon on June 14, 2020:

Can i get help anywhere i want them to know and I'm not giving up till she goes to jail and her family can pay for all the mental and physical abuse the allowed and did my land lord kicked me out for reason and to add more pain toss all my daughters memories in trash that passed even the death certificate i want revenge in a good way

Quinn Edwin Dillon on May 30, 2020:

I'm going through this and can't get help no one believes leaves me just a lot of mental health medications and the law enforcement treats me as I'm crazy when i confronted the family the put my life in danger with guns and knifes i have suicidal problems I am more aware if don't the help I'm very afraid that she will get best of me and will kill me please help i have no ones help your my last resort

Everette Chaney on May 21, 2020:

Well a narco path crossed the one that is gonna make this a law and criminal offense and it will come up to the law makers real soon, and its not even the fact she intensionally tried to ruin her vitims life with her sad and sick ass, but the effect it is taken on the 14 year old daughter is unforgivable, so either it becomes law or outlaws will be her prosecutor for her meditative intentional malicious acts, either way the law either makes this a law or an outlaw will, and Judgement isn't near the same as Real Law, but when man's law falls short of reality, what else can be done to these sick twisted individuals? Its not right they just continue with their lives unpunished, The Punisher wasn't thought of for no reason, someone apparently seen a situation needed to be handled, where man's law did not want to listen to reason, therefore man's law creates Punisher's, you take so much but when your sickness starts effecting children's lives, then you are nothing short of a pedifile and we all know what happens to those types in prisons, so I consider a narco path a child molester, rapist, murder all sick twisted minded narcos, should face the charges they deserve or the Punishment that is coming for them, if it takes the law hearing these type post to act on these situations then more victims need to come forward with their abusers so justice can be served by man's law or The Punisher. (No real intentions only for a story line for The Punisher comic book) Great with true factual basis for a great story to get awareness out, these narco path murders are real and needs the attention of law makers in our great country! And if lawmakers have empathetic souls they will hear all victims cry's and reliefs, once these actions are taken very serious and written into law, as worse than physical murder charges.

Diane Crouse on May 11, 2020:

I need to release some onformation to help save my life. It starts with narsistic, alchahloic, abusive neglectful parents. On to an abusive murderous first husband. Onto 3 attempted murders on my life from 3 different men in one year. A near death expirience and 2 years of college takeing every phsycology class thete is but death and dying . And full courses of art therapy to heal those who suffered violent trauma. Now 14 years from my murderous attacks only ONE is still vilontly abusing me in my soul and spirit as a slow death sentence and recking every and any love that I have in my life. By this narcistic,abusive,sociopath, who actualy has walked scott free of other comited murders due to mafia, and bikers. Justice needs to be served..my stalking fallower of 14 years gained knowledge in the black arts and attempts murderous acts sometimes at a constant. I've moved 5 states away from him and have a hidden address...and STILL get. Biolent atacks of pain from black arts

His prize tatoo of a gargoyle on his fore arm bring his arrogance in narcissism in staring at it and he doesn't want attention unless he's scared. And believe it or not he's 57 years old housed by his mom and grand ma gets 40 dollar allowance and a free ride to the methadone clinic every day..never worked a day in his life. I am being tourchered sooo bad it's a constant lately..he needs treatment ..he's like Hanibal Cannibal and smiles getting high from the sight of blood and injuries on his victims. And I don't know what to do. I may die because of him some day. I can't even get a boyfriend for 4 years..If you have an answer write to Diane Crouse 312 S. Woodland Blvd. Deland FL 32720. His name is John Jubec of South West Greensburg PA 15650..He does have jail records.

Mackenzie Colin on March 29, 2020:

Dear Marc, for the past 40+ years I have always known something was wrong with my brother and mothers behavior but couldn't articulate what it was. I just had a gut feeling it wasn't normal for my brother to making up lies about my good character. As a young teenager he would tell anyone who whad uld listen, that I was after the inheritence still does today- I am 51 yrs old now). I paid no reall attention to his lies because I knew they weren't true. Then in my late teens, being a happy, active person in spirts competiton, he would tell people behind my back I had hyperactivity disorder. People love gossip and listened to him. In my mid-late twenties he would tell people I had borderline personality disorder (which I don'). That smear campaign didn't take off the way he wanted it to because not mNy people even knew what BPD was. So he picked up a new smear campaign in my early thirties.....the bomb dropper......that I was bipolar. People gobbled that smear campaign up. At this point and for some time my mother has and continues to do the same to me. I truly felt I was going insane because I could see what they were doing and that it was wrong. To this day my brother and mother say I am bipolar, mentally ill. The kicker, I am the only on in the family who has sound moral judgement, empathy, compassion, great critical thinking skills and logic, passionate about health and the outdoors. He has even committed crimes and a felony against me but the neighbor, who believes his first smear campaign from 35+ years ago refused to give my the evidence of the federal crime my brother committed (To go into details about the crime would take another paragraph). He is frequently breaking the law and getting away with it. Together with my mother they have destroyed my identity, character, and my essence as a human being.

I write only a very brief caption of what I am dealing with ( i have cut ties many times but he has destroyed my life through the computer, harrassing phone calls, etc. He will NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE, EVER, Neither will my mother until I am dead. Yes, my mother has been hoping and trying to "kill me off" by trying to drive me to suicide.

Sadly, that may be my only way out as I have nthing left, no money, no job, no career, and no resemblence of the human I was.

My point, when I descovered this article I cried nnstop for what was about four hours because it was the first time in decades that explained EXACTLY what was happening to me. You wriTe so eloquently and can articulate perfectly what it is to be tormented by a narcissist. I am homeless now as of a week ago because of the non stop torment from my mother and brother with my father as back up. Should I pass, thank you, thank you for u for the courage to speak up on victims behave and for yourself. If I pass, I go to the grave knowing I was right all along, I am not the crazy one they are. Thank yu for the peace you have given me that I am not the Only one dealing with this. Perhaps one day yu will write an article geared on siblings and family dynamics vs the romantic relationship of narcissistic abuse.

Paula soper on March 21, 2020:

Im so thankful i was able to sign in, and found others than will only be able to understand this, i have been so alone too long, snd in misery, no one could understand this, the past few yrs. and I've made it worse in past by even trying to talk to anyone that was once in my life.Im too exhausted at the moment its late and need sleep, but had to thank you!!!!!!!for a place i can go too when im ready too speak with others!!!! Thank you!!!

Paul Noblin on February 06, 2020:

Ace,

Pack a suitcase and hide it. Squirrel away as much money as you can. Try to get some kind of credit. Take care of your body and mind. Remind yourself that all this is temporary. When the time is right, run like Hell, and tell no one goodbye, or where you are going. Once you arrive, tell no one where you came from from or your problems. Be patient. Do not trust anyone, including your family and friends. Get ready, and run like Hell. There is no point in defending a dump. I hope this helps.

Warm Regards... Paul.

Diane on February 06, 2020:

Abuse set up fraud memory attempts with people you knew in your past... 40 yeas...or more back or if they know them now? ...with implantable thoughts to fraud you ...put you away in mental hospital or prison from past as your rape victim now? Someone was over heard threatening a person about this..it was more about inheritance money and keeping secrets intact so they would not go to jail for something they did also!!!these implantables could be a very bad situation now for anyone anytime!

Keith Lankford from Houston Texas on February 02, 2020:

This program is well documented and has led to the deaths of many Americans.

There are now support groups in all fifty states for targeted individuals. The actions of these agencies are criminal and the agencies and people involved in this program need to have charges brought against them and be prosecuted for the crimes they have committed against American civilians.

I have been targeted since 2012 in three different states after having to flee my home state of 49 years in a effort to escape the terrorist activities these agencies direct against civilians never charged with a crime.

I suffer assaults, repeated break ins, drugging, poisoning, stalking, vehicle tampering, theft, etc on a daily basis and have since 2012.

The actions of these government funded agencies can only be compared to the actions of the SS in early Nazi Germany.

We need the help of our elected officials who have knowledge of this program yet refuse to speak out against it. This program has grown to large and is to well documented to keep silent about it, now is the time to put a end to this State Sponsored and Funded Terrorism, this will not resolve this issue though till all parties involved are arrested and brought to justice.

I am documenting the actions of these agencies daily, am facing felony charges after being set up and framed as homeland security and the Harris county police were running exercises in a subdivision where I had bought a house to remodel, Harris county police officer Munoz constantly harassed, trespassed, stalked, etc before he and Harris county police raided my house and jailed me. The reason for this eight year assault on my life is me being the 911 grassroots organizer in Alaska, and a website I had reporting on government crimes that was facing popularity at the time my house was raided.

I started this website again when stalking followed me to Houston aTexas it was taken down as all other websites I had all communication hacked and blocked and house burned down. This is shown if you look at the history of the site on archive.org.

These programs must end now for each day that passes only escalates the ramifications the knowledge of such criminal acts taken by government agencies will have when brought to light, there is no doubt the time is growing near for there is to much documentation to keep this silent much longer.

NSA whistleblower William Bonney and Kirk Wiebe help explain this in detail.

NSA whistleblower Karen Stewart also has much information. The view count does not indicate the actual knowledge of these programs, only the censorship taking place in all American mass media and social networks.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LCXpRnshgwQ

https://youtu.be/pAtVbTDo3aA

https://archive.org/details/hornhonkingcampaignhom...

Thank you

Keith Lankford

Keith_daniel@outlook.com

907-330-7337

I have contacted all us Senators about this repeatedly

Angela Ezenta-EzeTate ('Ace') on January 06, 2020:

GOD HELP ME! ~Ace

Marc Hubs (author) from United Kingdom on December 27, 2019:

I know how you feel, I'm the same age and pretty much the same goes for me. However I turned it all into something positive by writing about it online to set the record straight and get the info out there and thankfully I've had quite a bit of success in doing so and have made a decent amount of money from it.

Mia on December 26, 2019:

Wow, seems like Im pretty lucky to have fought my way out of these relationships. My exes were all narcissists, theyre drawn to me or me to them bc Im an empath. I'm now 42 and single and considering I keep attracting narcissists, I'll stay that way because I'm far better off. They are true poison, they will put you down until youre so crushed and broken you loose your identity, thats what happened to me with my first, I came to the psychologist with identity disorder, asking "Who am I? And who do others expect me to be?" That part healed but I never regained my once strong confidence. For the readoer; if you notice anything like put downs, rude comments, him/her being dissatsified with you and looking down upon you.. RUN! Run and get a new number and NEVER reply to unlisted numbers again. The only way is to fukn RUN!

JH on December 10, 2019:

My abusers are males - they hate women and life in general, they hide and use covert means of technological warfare against me. This began happening to me during a lawsuit and the abusers nearly succeeded in “forcing suicide”, something I did not know was possible until the settlement process came about. The 24-7 mind and body abuse has not stopped (almost a year and a half straight) and I have begged attorneys, the state of Nevada, the abusers, the police, and many others for help to stop the secret death penalty that was handed to me during the settlement process. If I had any idea I would lose my life over a personal injury lawsuit... I would suggest to you to not put your Hope into the “Judicial system”. Via surveillance these people are all aware of what is going on, and make money off of others’ forced suicides (snuff) and other “accidents” while finding enjoyment in ruining the lives of others. They get badges, and are paid to kill via mind control, brainwashing, mysterious illnesses, mysterious accidents, you know: remote controlled humans. We are living in an uncivilized society, that will destroy you if you do anything they don’t like. The laws that are there to protect individuals are being ignored. This country is not going to successfully continue while torturing its own citizens to death! Targeting is the most disgusting thing ever created. My own neighbors have been used against me, I just learned about the breaking and entering of “community policing” and it’s a sad day when you realize you can’t even trust your neighbors, your friends, your loved ones, etc.

Agent73 on December 08, 2019:

Kid Glow, you made an excellent post. I hope it stays on the top, because everyone who has been injured by mean, sick persons should read your post. I say, "There is no reason to defend a dump. Just get the hell out of Dodge, and don't even say" Good bye"to anyone. " Still, KID Glow, you made a very helpful post. Thank you.

KID Glow on December 07, 2019:

You keep being you! Remember who you are! Let your light shine in darkness...don't want much...don't expect much in life to protect your mind and heart...pray to god for miricles...you be creative, you get a team of people that you can trust that have been through the same stuff and you go get a petition for law makers to make this a crime and you talk to house makers and you share your stories from the beginning of your life up until the crazy stuff started....even share it on Youtube. Give LOVE by helping some one worse off little, but don't get yourself kill or kill yourself or kill...thou shall not kill... If you have no haters than you have no charater...i am KID Glow -just KID Glow (glow).

Survival of narcissistic abuse on November 21, 2019:

In this situation, just murder the abuser....it’s justified.

Errigo on November 13, 2019:

This is exactly what happened and Don Errigo is my brother masterminded the whole scenario since 1990's. he groomed my daughter and she premeditated to harm my quality of life. They did it all as mention on this article...I survived but it's never been the same. My relatives are stupid enough to believe their stories against me.

I'm not going to let them to get away with it. My philosophy as a self defense is to harm their children. It seems like theres no other solution and they got away with it...no, this idea is the only way to stop from happening. Mess with me, your kids dies. They will react defenseless and they will leave you alone. I don't want to do that method and it's' not me but sending a message to these dysfunctional perpetrators and it scares them easily. These type of people did their homework ahead of you and using playbook that you will never defeat them. Still true but the idea of mine isn't in their playbook and it scared them. That's the only tool to defend yourself because there are no other options to save yourself. Acknowledge them that their kids get screwed.

Thats my advice and it's touchy situation but don't get me wrong...I love kids and I don't want to harm them all..just a message with possibilities that they never expect it. Forgive me...its an ugly war between siblings or whomever...sucks to be them actually

Dan on October 28, 2019:

Hello Marc, Thank you for this article; it is is accurate with regard to life's experience.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Justice will come on October 19, 2019:

The D.C. D.M.V communities are corupted and some military and police as well! They have crooks human tracfficking and stealing money and secretly mudering folks who tells or stands up towards them, they also be setting up people and gaslighting victims ... they put false labels on folks they want to destroy and rapes the victims kids and some missing people are human trafficing folks and occult sacrifice victims...etc.

Wanda phillips on October 16, 2019:

I have been going through this situation for 11 years. Hasn't stopped. Includes electronic harassment by black ex-con James Randall jimerson be. 01/29/1962. Child sex offender of 9 year old. Rap sheets. Longview tx. And his lover Carrie Elaine Nicholson Moore. Aiding and abetting. Longview tx. 4302103161. We were military family for 22 years. Non deserving of this. Invading civil rights!

Katie Kohl on October 13, 2019:

In going through this now I don't even know what to do cuz I have no money for a lawyer and because I'm an addict have been going through it for a last 12 years I am homeless and traumatized and in a shock they have no real support

Hurting on October 05, 2019:

Has anyone found a way to stop this or to prove when it is happening? My sister and nephew have been doing this to me since christmas 2012. I almost had a breakdown after they pretended to be an ex gf through social media sites for 2 years. I cut myself as a result. I shared a lot of personal information and thoughts i believe they are now using against me by getting other family members involed. Ive been acused of fraud before starting a course to get my life back on track. This caused me extreme anxiety because i had been out of work for almost 2 years. Ive been acused of physical abuse, stealing a phone and damaging a car. Its just getting worse. I no longer have any relationship with my parents. I cant even talk to them without getting very angry because they dont believe me and just say im paranoid. I believe they are now interferring at my work. Ive had conversations with my manger and later seen new user names and messages appear on a forum i visit that reflect the things i talked to him about. I would completely push it to the side as a silly coincidence but the names are messages are very directed. Near the end of the episoide where my sister and newphew pretended to be my ex i cut myself. Around that same my i had confronted my sister inlaw about her brother taking cocaine at her wedding. At work one day last year my manager and a colleague asked me to sit beside him and a colleague. There just to happened to be a razor blade on the desk where they asked me to sit down. They started talking about people who cut themselves and take cocaine. Ive not enough money to move out. Ive got a dog to which makes it difficult to find a place. On mental health day last year a colleague repeated gave me the middle finger and called me a fat fuck. I am completly alone. I live with my parents but no words are exchanged anymore. They just result in arguments. They are old and happily dismiss everyrhing without thought. Ive tried putting up cameras but i get abuse for that and some have went missing. I put up an automatic light but my nepew keeps turning it off. I have lost all respect for them to the point if they died i would feel nothing. Everything i say is turned against me. There is much more to this. I dont know what to do anymore. Ive just been living with it. My home life is like hell. My work life is better but im woring because more and more signs of family involvment is happening. I have no communication with my siblings at all. I stopped completely 2 years ago.