Psychological Murder: Death By Covert Abuse

Updated on March 21, 2018
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Marc Hubs is a writer/researcher on mind, science, and conspiracy. He is the author of "Know Your Enemy: Reflections of NPD."

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Pernicious Abuse

It goes unrecognized but it exists.

It exists on an extremely covert level.

It happens behind the scenes without anyone even being aware of what the problem is; the real problem.

No evidence of it is left behind and no-one has ever been convicted of it yet in reality, what I will term pernicious abuse is something which can and does have a devastating effect, not just on the victim, but also within society. Pernicious abuse can lead a person into carrying out acts such as covert psychological murder, or perhaps even covert psychological manslaughter - something which is very real, insidious in nature but unfortunately unrecognized and virtually unquestioned.

Psychological murder can take many forms but the type I'm really referring to is of a covertly narcissistic and/or sociopathic nature. It may be too difficult for some people to be able to comprehend but it does happen and I've seen it happen.

Narcissistic/Sociopathic (narcopathic) abuse takes place when a narcissist or sociopath (or narcopath) attempts to convince someone who has discovered their unbelievably shallow secrets, gradually over time, that they are crazy and proceeds to manipulate them into keeping quiet or to ultimately face their wrath. They use techniques such as crazy-making, character assassination and gaslighting in order to get their victim(s) to question their own sanity.

They generally do so by ostracizing the victim while continuing to act out their part, expertly hiding their truly outrageous behaviour, whilst successfully having everyone around them fooled - everything is done to appease those around them while their manipulative and controlling tactics take place behind the scenes, outside of people's awareness. The victim is forced to question their own sanity because they don't realize that they are the victim because everything done to manipulate them is done outside of their conscious awareness.

The longer time goes on and the longer the victim tries to do something about it, the more severe the abuse becomes. The narcissist/sociopath has already built an army of unwitting abusers who all help to drive the victim crazy. The long-term consequences of these actions can be a devastating, soul crushing and reality-shattering path to be led down. Of course, there are many other types of abuse that can have just as damaging and severe long-term consequences. However, psychological forms of abuse such as gaslighting, mental rape, slander, defamation and distortion campaigns of a person's reputation are done so covertly and expertly that they are very rarely identified early enough.

The abuser, when carrying out these covert tasks, is faceless and undercover.

Narcopathic Abuse

Victims of this type of abuse are commonly left with no resources they can use to escape the situation; the abuser has stolen their finances, their identity and has turned the victim's own family and friends against them, due to the malicious web of lies and deceit that have been woven. The victim is trapped with no way out... or at least that is what they are made to believe.

Although victims go through what can only be described as being dragged through hell backwards, narcissistic and sociopathic abuse via heightened communication is so difficult to pick up on the human radar of perception that the victim is usually left scratching their head wondering "is it me?"

They have been made to believe that they are the problem. Such abusers are so shallow that they may cheat on their partner on significant occasions such as valentine's day or while they are away at a funeral - at times when the victim will least expect it.

Not only that, they will do it with the person the victim suspects the least.... time and time again.

In many cases the victim may turn to drugs or alcohol as a means of escape. The stress they are forced to endure can be so severe that if they don't find some kind of release in order to feel a sense of escape, they continue to build up with overwhelming tension, anxiety, emotional suffering and may develop an overactive mind which can literally drive them crazy - post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can soon follow. That's not to say that the drugs will either prevent it from happening or even slow the process down - they won't. They will only exacerbate the situation in the long run.

Psychological Murder

The abuser never quits abusing and the victim's self-esteem gets worn down to the core until they go through a process of devaluation, dehumanization and dissociation. The victim has been made to feel that they are nothing in this world, they now have nothing, they now have no meaning and nowhere to go and nobody wants them any more except for the narcissistic/sociopathic abuser who can now use the victim as their emotional/mental slave. The narcopath is now their God.

The process is so subliminal and it happens so gradually that it could take place over the course of ten or twenty or even thirty years or more. The victim knows that even if they did escape the situation the abuser would probably continue to ruin the rest of their life or future relationships anyway and in many cases after the partner has left, the abuser continues to drive them crazy gradually destroying their reputation, their life and their soul - often referred to as soul murder.

Eventually the victim may be left feeling suicidal but fear that others would see it as a selfish act. Additionally, they don't want others to be left picking up the pieces they left behind because they do feel real true genuine empathy. For this reason many victims believe they have no choice but to continue suffering the abuse and may feel that the damage is already done.

Some victims may ultimately decide to continue to pump as much alcohol or drugs into their system as they can. This way they can use it not only as a form of escapism but also to slowly kill themselves so that they can reach the point that they have to suffer the abuse no longer. Others may not turn to substance abuse but may end up suffering fatal medical issues as a result of the abuse alone which may potentially lead to death a result of pernicious abuse.

Some may have given up on their hopes of escape and may have just accepted things the way they are (conditioned into co-dependence) but unless they are an inverted narcissist, then the stress will eventually take it's toll. Stress is well known to cause a myriad of health problems, both mental and physical, many of which can be fatal.

Ultimately, the victim takes the knowledge of their covert psychological murder to the grave which forever remains a secret inside the mind of the abuser.

© 2011 Marc Hubs

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      Marie Cresta 

      33 hours ago

      THIS IS THE REST OF THE STORY THAT i JUST SENT

      This woman that was supposedly stalking John and they could clearly see I was a crime victim by these 2 expert con artists. John Wilson only paid 2 house payments one bounced and when he locked me out of my house and scared me away he paid over $5,000.00 for a house payment. He finally left when I showed them my forged checks and credit card fraud but they only used the forged mortgage check and still I don’t understand why. He wouldn’t sign for me to sell the house because he didn’t care about his credit because it was already bad he just wanted to destroy my 800 credit. So for a year I called Indymac mortgage to try to get his name off the mortgage so I could either get someone in it to help me with it or sell it. It went into foreclosure and I didn’t know because he stole my mail He had taken all my money and left me in debt so I couldn’t get a lawyer but my sister knew this lawyer who gave me some free advice over the phone. He told me to go to court to force him to sign it . Of course he didn’t show up and the judge gave me the legal right to sign his name so I sold it for a short sale. I should have never lost my dream house. I went to court for the other legal issues of trying to get the money back that he conned out of me. Heike Calhoun and John Wilson had a lawyer and of course I had nothing so I had a court appointed attorney. John Wilson didn’t show up the first time and the judge didn’t penalize him he just made me come back another day. My friends and I were stunned when the judge didn’t allow anyone to talk and dropped the charges saying this was a civil case. I found out the reason was John Wilson only used 4 checks that he said I made out to cash for a little over $1,000.00 and my devastation was well over, I would say at least $80,000.00 or more. The 4 checks he used that day took me over 5 ½ yrs but I matched them to his bank book receipts I have. They could clearly see it is his signature not mine. The assistant prosecutor Diana Reed Rolondo was helping in the beginning but she said she did all she could and couldn’t bring charges and when she sent me all the paperwork back I couldn’t believe that the police reports said I allowed him to use my checks and credit cards. I was so out of it at the time of all this devastation that I should have had someone go with me and read every one of those reports because they were lies. It’s funny though I told Dina Reed Rolondo that I never allowed him to do any of this. She told me to get on with my life but I didn’t have a life I lost my house, my car, my job because of being late taking his son to school, my 401k, all my inheritance my dad left me and he even destroyed my credit. I was 50 yrs. old and my life has been a living hell. I have spent the next 7 yrs. doing the job the justice system should have done trying to find victims by putting my story on the internet. Every victim after me is the responsibility of the them by not doing there job and blaming me, the victim. Marie Cresta FRAUDULENT ACTS OF PURE EVIL IS MY WEBSITE mariecresta@gmail.com

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      MARIE CRESTA 

      33 hours ago

               

      I let John Wilson and his son Chez move in to my apartment around Feb. 2005. He never paid for anything. He told me he had just gotten custody of his son (8 yrs. old) . He didn’t want me to ask him about his mom because he said it would upset him but in actuality John Wilson had his son since he was 3 yrs. Old. I did everything for his son to try and take away his pain. I took him to summer camp everyday before I went to work and paid for the tuition. Around June 15th 2005 he asked me to marry him and a week later he asked to borrow $20,000.00 for his gym, Delco Brazillian Jui-Jitsu. I asked him if he wanted to marry me because he wanted to borrow this money. He acted like I insulted him and said the gym is for both of us. The money was from the inheritance my dad had just left me (over $63,000.00) and I was going to put it back in the bank when John Wilson gave it back to me but he hasn’t repaid me yet even though down the police station he told them it was $10,000.00 and he didn’t remember whether he paid me back in cash or with a check. The police never made him verify this. He told his lawyer that it was a gift. In March 2006 we got a house together and I paid for $2,4555.00 upgrade, $10,000.00 down payment, $9,000.00 closing cost and every house payment (we both were going to pay and I didn’t know) came out of my bank account. John Wilson told me when he sold his house 3172 Bethel Rd. Feltonville, Pa. he would put it towards our house but I didn’t know the house was in him and his ex-wife’s name. I found out later that he wrote a check for their mortgage from my bank account and forged my name. He stole the mail and all my concentration was taking care of his son because I never had kids and loved them. He knew this. When we moved into the house about a week later this woman called (Heike Calhoun and her friend) and said they both were going out with John. He pulled the phone and said this woman was stalking him. This woman left a note on my doorstep the next day and it said how much she cared about him and he is on Match.com. (It was on my computer but I didn’t know how to look up this info at the time. I found out later he was corresponding with a lot of woman and probably used my red Firebird I allowed him to use and thought it was for work but picking them up and going over Heike Calhoun’s house with his son) so I drove up to the gym with John Wilson’s son and gave him the letter and wanted to know what was going on and he said the same thing she is stalking him. When I left he called me and told me Heike was following me and his son acted like he was scared but in actuality I found out later he was going over her house with his dad. The next day I filled out a police report and told them Heike Calhoun was following me. So about a month later John Wilson came home and said why don’t you get a couple of credit cards just in case you need them. I didn’t understand why I got 3 credit cards because I already had about ten of them and (thank God John Wilson didn’t know this because I would have been in more debt than I am in now) never carried a balance on any of my cards. I found out later he fraudulently used over $18,000.00 worth of credit cards behind my back because he would steal the mail. This one day John Wilson was supposedly going to work and Heike Calhoun was following him. His son got a bat and acted like he was scared of her. John Wilson told me to call the police. The cops called John Wilson up and told him to go to the courthouse and get an Order Of Protection. He acted like he was going to do this but in actuality he was going to Heike Calhoun’s instead of work. I was always living in fear that Heike Calhoun would hurt me. This one day I found this black book hidden under his clothes. I opened it and found a lot of names and found a star above my name. I was panicking and didn’t know what to do. I was confused and asked him about this and he said it was something he should have thrown away. I believe now this was all his victims in this book. In Sept. I came back from the shore confronting my girlfriend about everything that was going on and it seemed weird he wouldn’t bring his checks home. He said he kept them at the gym. She told me to check things out. I came home and told him I was going to Acme and I needed my keys for my Firebird because I was low on gas. I felt under the seat and there were rubbers and a lot of dirty magazines. I froze and didn’t look at all the paperwork he had in my car. It was my car and he must have had me so controlled. I have never been through anything like this before. I’m not a confrontational person but I asked him what is this for. He said I shouldn’t have let you take the car(even though it was mine) and said stay out of my shit and pushed me down. I was stunned, no one ever raised their voice at me and never ever put a hand on me before. I have never been so petrified in my life. I was on the phone with my niece and John Wilson came out and I saw his son’s face and I couldn’t call the cops because it looked like he had been through this before. After a week he came home and tried to explain it away. I was trying to figure things out but couldn’t imagine what danger I was in. I made stir fry that night and fed it to his son then went upstairs to eat with John Wilson and there was glass in my food. He said I probably broke the sauce jar but his son’s food didn’t have it in it. The next day John Wilson had big pieces of broken glass on the side of his plate. Somehow it just didn’t register in my brain what was going on. Later on I found beer bottles underneath the sink. A couple days after that I had a drink and when I got up in the morning everything was spinning and I felt really sick. John Wilson went to work. I had to crawl to the bathroom and I was so sick I called him home. I don’t know what he put in my system but I was still dizzy thereafter. I told the police later what happened but they wouldn’t let me document it because they said why didn’t I bring the glass right down. In my wildest dreams I could never imagine that someone could ever try to hurt me like this. On Nov. 9 2007 Heike Calhoun’s friend called me and said she knows about me but I don’t know about her. I called Heike Calhoun and met her at John Wilson’s gym. When I pulled up Heike Calhoun and John Wilson were standing outside and all I said I was with you. I saw 3 cops outside and told them I just found out this man conned me out of money(not knowing at the time the extent of the devastation he put me through) I asked them to get my car keys from John Wilson for my Firebird. They went inside and when they came out the cops told me to stand there and be quiet while they held their hand in front of me and allowed him to take everything out of my car. I was stunned that this was my property and after I had just told them about him conning me out of money. Heike Calhoun’s son who was 16 yrs. old said that John Wilson needed a court order to do this. I found out later that the cops allowed John Wilson to steal my computer and I couldn’t do a thing about it even though I still have my receipt. The cops knew him because of him being a Jiu-Jitsu instructor. I talked to the police chief and the mayor and nothing has been done yet. I showed the police all the checks he forged even signing his own name, fraudulently using my credit cards and they had the reports down the police station that Heike Calhoun was supposedly stalking him and me but in this together. He even locked me out of my house and one neighbor that knew his son asked him where I was and his son said we had a fight He even locked me out of my house and one neighbor that knew his son asked him where I was and his son said we had a fight and I moved out. Which was a complete lie. He told her Heike was moving in with her children. The woman that was stalking him and my name was on the mortgage and I paid for everything. They had to know they both were in this together. They had these police reports. Heike Calhoun’s mail went to my address. It was a house she was buying. I showed the cops this and they said it was none of my business.

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      Targeted individual 

      7 days ago

      I have to be TORTURED TO death sacerficed in Small town in CA. BECAUSE of this crazy jealous woman THAT uses ME TO HAVE CHILDREN with the DA's relative. Using him to get her way and 2 commit terrorism and murder on any women she wants killed by having the DA /INTIRE legal system court order everything she wants done TO ME. She never WANTED ME TO HAVE CHILDREN and never have anything/ anyone but to live for only being set up on criminal CHARGES as scapegoat for THEM TO torture ME 2death until they set up on charges. .she had my 4 year old DAUGHTER killed by torturing her 2death. BECAUSE she never wanted me ME 2have a baby. She has the intire intire legal system supporting her and all her femicide circle of friends involved using me to dismiss their CHARGES and have a baby in RETURN TO HAVE ME set up on CHARGES and killed they TOOK AWAY my RIGHTS TO EVER HAVE CHILDREN BECAUSE they torture/ murder other people TO sacerfice them for having children. This BITCH will NEVER let ME have a chance to enjoy life without being TORTURED 24 hours a day or HAVE chance TO enjoy life and HAVE CHILDREN unless they have 2 KILL her.is the only way to stop this psychotic BITCH.. she has people MURDERED just cuz she can TAKING advantage of the legal system and The DA is stupid enough TO allow it BECAUSE she's another femicide psychopathic BITCH.? The legal system in TUOLUMNE county kills WOMEN and CHILDREN THAT are VICTIMS of sexual assault and any other form of VIOLENCE BECAUSE they LOVE TO torture .and punish WOMEN THAT are suffering and forcing them TO commit suicide by how BAD they DESTROYED their lives and treat them. .this county IS highly SUPPORTS PEDOPHILES who rape and murder CHILDREN and WOMEN. I HAVE over 3 decades of proof.

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      Yaboi 

      2 weeks ago

      Things are not going to happen. They were going to happen but you were so excited for it to happen that you took every good thing from me such that I didn't want it to happen, because I know you did this to me, but don't want to give you anything. Maybe you tested me early to see if that's how I would react, and so you've done this, and so I've responded like that. Maybe you only acted like you wanted it. Maybe the side-ways whispers were meant to be heard.

      I hope your world burns. I hope I'm forgotten.

      You're too interested. You made them interested. They abuse me every moment of every day.

      I'm afraid of moving in my bed when I wake up, because somehow they know. It's quiet until I move, and there's no reason abusing a sleeping man for 8 hours when he doesn't hear it. Maybe they wake me up, maybe that's how they know. Maybe these smart-as-fuck gossipy birds know exactly what's going on. Maybe they chirp different when I leave my house to let the street know I'm out. Hope to hear the same sounds when someone else leaves theirs, but you never do, like I'm some spectacle. Migrate the fuck away. I hope the insect population dies so you die.

      But back to you... you yell at me louder when I take a shit, louder when I take a shower. You start the sound of sirens when I turn the kettle on, or if I code for too long. I guess you don't have too much to say because besides being incredibly street-smart and highly social, you're all fucking idiots.

      Sound-cannons are a thing.

      Tech is shipping into this country, or leaking out of the military.

      Go fuck yourself and your Hitler-esque human experimentation.

      I don't want to hear you. I don't want you to hear me. I don't like you. I'd sink the ship if we were both on it. You're abusive, you're crazy, you're intentionally ignorant.

      How've you done this to me. How do I get out.

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      Dani4real 

      3 weeks ago

      First byy mmy mother, the her and her choosen daughter, then by my ex husband, and currently many still too close in my life. Yet God finally gave me my one first true love and we weather the storm together. For it is comeing to have so many preditory people out there. In case those bad guys forget, you lose. Love is all that matters in the end, God is Joy, joy is love. Godbless.

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      We sound crazy 

      3 weeks ago

      Wow where do I start. I am 37 yrs old and realize for the first time that I have been and am being psychologically and physically tortured. My guess is as good as your as to who and why they are doing this but I would venture to say it is becsuse they want to produce something from me. Gain results of some kind. It took me awhile to realize what was happening because like so many of you have stated it is hard to explain. When you try to explain you end up in hospitals. None of this makes any sense why things are happening to me. Noone I know lives like this. I dont know what is worse the psychological torture or physical. There are days now I cant take it anymore and wish for death. When you try to go to the hospitals for help with pain its a total mind fuck bec they treat you like you are some disgusting addict seeking drugs. If you say anything you end up in the psychiatirc ward for months. That in of it self was not treatment. It was not a vacation. It is not rest. It looks like something out if a horror movie where your fighting to leave and maintain your sanity all the while the environment is so crazy around you. Patients screaming and yelling and personel fucking with your head only to tell you they are just doing there job or they cant help because they didnt seee anything that just happened to you. It is alot like prison only they step up there game. Once you give in and tell them you will do whatever it takes to get out of there if that means taking meds that make you even more sick its game on again. The fighting to maintain your sanity and life still continues. So what is my diagnosis you ask? I am only 0.03% of the population. Schitzoeffective bipolar 1 disorder.yeah ok. Its another way to legally control you. Because now you have a label and now authorities know you. Have had many boughts with police bec I was scared half to death in my own home and had to call them all the while my caretaker my mother ia telling them its ok I am a mental patient. I know what I heard was real. My boyfriend on the phone heard the gun shot too in my house. So i think real hard who is fucking with me and why. My psychiatrist would ask me who is doing this to me and I shrug my shoulders as to I dont know. Who would pay to go out of there way to do these things to me. My guess is the government or some entity's outside of this world in the universe. Maybe studying us for there own results to figure out human behavior. Or it is a conspiracy. I had flashbacks to when i was a kid. I invented text messaging. I dont care if yoh believe me or not. There were men and women in black at my school watching us show our presentations. My theroy is i have a highly creative mind and i can predict the future sometimes. Some phd guy from NASA I sat down with told me im telepathic. Anyway whatever. I will explain further about the text messages invention so youll believe me. We were given an assignment to invent something. I came up with this device that would send messages from one to another so you can read what someone wrote. The idea was sparked by having a best friend who was deaf. Her mother would call her to come home and I thought wouldnt it be nice if she had something that would send a signal telling her to come home. I got my step father the build it and i added tiny jewel's to the front for the letters. I already knew at the time my friend could communicate with anyone via phone call by this device called a TDD is i think the name. It looks like a mini computer and you type what you want to say to the other person youre calling and the rep on the phone reads the messages and relays them to the caller and back and forth she types in what you say over the phone. So that is where my idea came about. Now i am not saying i created the software or whatever to get the device going im telling you if there was another person who had the idea too the thats probably true but it was not i invented yet. Even computers were new to the scene at this age im describing. Anyway, whew..that was alot. You see i am still fighting to prove myself to people even on this blog. For what? Becaus i am reaching out. Last night I have never felt so hopless as I did and really wanted to die. I get mad when I wake up in the morning because sleeping is my solice and my escape although i do not get much of it i have to nap during the day alot.which brings me to my next example of torture. They get me exhausted to keep me awake.my family acts like i am lazy because i am not moving around like tthem. When i finally come out of the coma and move around they act like i am manic and call the doctor. It is totally torute.I do not even know they know that they are aware they are doing it to me.i hope not that would be even more cruel. So what is the purpose of the tortur? To produce results of some kind. I am a commodity to them. The sad part is they want me to invent and create and when i do when i write or paint they say i am manic and need to stop. Its so fucked up. My mother is the main character in my life that I love and hate at the same time. She is evil to me. The yelling and screaming she did when i was yonger took its toll on me. Ill hear her yell when noone is at home. Yes I often hear things people do not and see. But i keep my mouth shut bec ill end up you know where. Today i am not sure what my furtur holds im not lazy. I have my bachelors degree in psychology and nearly killed myself to obtain it. I am on Disability right now becaus every time i try to work or get a job some shit happens to freak me out. So they keep me isolated. I have applied for so many jobs but noone will hire me. Even DARS cant help me. The government agency that helps the disabled.yeah right. Everyone is just out for themselves. Noone does anything about it bec they cant and if they tried or wer even curious theyd be met by resistance and intimidation. I do not know where the torture started. I thought i had a pretty good upbringing despite some minor abandonment. Things havent been the same though for awhile. I do remember feeling like I am on a different planet. Like people dont seem to struggle as much as I do. They plan there life and it works out accordingly. Not the case with me. I appreciate this blog. It was nice to see so many people can relate to my sufferings. I dont know what my next move is I just know what who I am living with is an abuser. I imagine myself running away. But i have a child to look after and i do not want to uproot her from her good school and stable life. Yes her life is normal. I had a chance to leave with my good husband but of course my mother threatened to tske berkley away from me and she had all of my money.i am just now getting my own bank account and managing my own finances. I have learned to fight back to my mother. I have learned to not show weakness in front of her bec that means danger. When i cry she often threatens to call my psychiatrist. He is i think a good man and innocent in this but he listens to my mother way too much and does what she tells him. Thats wrong. I know it is. Anyway, I dont know if my post will be helpful or not. I havent given up the fight yet. I am still here.

    • sparkster profile imageAUTHOR

      Marc Hubs 

      4 weeks ago from United Kingdom

      Gaslighting is more about subtle crafty tricks like moving objects in the house around to confuse the victim or hiding their keys somewhere so that victim feels like they're losing the plot.

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      M.B. 

      4 weeks ago

      What about gas lighting.I have seen this first hand.It's a form of stalking,threatening ,and harassment.It is planting the idea that someone is out to hurt you anywhere you go.The rest is planting that belief in the victim's mind through reputition of stalking threats etc....Found it best to keep your guard up when it occurs.Dosen't work if agressor can't invoke fear and paranoia.I would even say its seems like a form of a physopathic behavor.

    • profile image

      Keith Smith 

      5 weeks ago

      Sooooooo, why haven't you noticed that the postal shootings were a test program to cause mass shootings across the country. I am a lab guy and I see a pattern. I am old and I have never seen nor heard of mass shooting like this. No one is asking any questions. What the hell is going on. Can't anyone see this. Does everyone have normalcy bias. I see clear motivations for this. Everybody needs to wake up.

    • profile image

      Carlin casey 

      5 weeks ago

      I’m a victim of this torture for the last 10 years and I feel like I can’t go on any further , I have not been perfect to say the least but this is something I would never even dream of for my worst enemy .

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      Esther Beltran of Paramount ca 

      7 weeks ago

      My father along w two of my brothers are guilty of killing my brother and mother 2 months apart and I knew that I was next and have buried my entire family this past Dec. But thank God I walked away with my head held up and have over come loosing my sanity and broke the bond that was holding me captive and now Im free free at last and the only shame I have is for the family I once belonged to. Esther from Paramount Ca

    • profile image

      I left the last few comments. 

      7 weeks ago

      I get very angry sometimes and not for nothing. It’s because I have alot that I’m dealing with. My health is not great. People lied about me and held me down in the past (so much for my 20’s, long gone). It hurts wanting to be yourself and be outgoing and have nothing but good intentions for everyone and several people devoting so much effort to twist it and use it against you. And they don’t stop, unless you just crawl under a rock and sometimes they still keep on! I don’t know exactly who was behind it or why, but since I was very young, about 4, some people insisted that I was gay and I’m not. But my own seemingly caring family believed these people over me. Alot of other smaller situations happened that were ridiculous. Then in my 20’s, I was called just about everything you can think of, because I calmly spoke my point of view, on my local news paper online, in comments. All I was trying to do was have intelligent conversations with whomever read my comments. And try to get others to think from what I wrote and for me to think from what they wrote in response. Many people I was introduced to knew me from my comments and complimented me. But some were absolutely malicious. Some were family members. Some of whom acted like I was to kiss their ass and they were to mess with my life, because I was an idiot and pathetic and things like that and I guess they wanted to believe that’s just the way it was. Some people had others believing that I was a pedophile, gay, autistic, virgin, antisocial. What nerve! Some people really have nothing better to do than to lie about and slander others, I guess. Between the sexual, physical and emotional abuse, health problems that persist, financial complications, fabricated social complications and everything else, it has taken a toll on me... I don’t want to kill anyone, like I’d said in a previous comment. But that’s how I felt at times. I think I just need to get in a better environment. Avoid toxicity, stay focused on the good. Man, some people really are sick or something. Everyone has a breaking point and when others keep slamming them, constantly and then some of them act like I had better kiss their ass. GET FUCKED!!!

    • profile image

      Angry 

      7 weeks ago

      Thinking about this more, it’s like it’s so much more complicated than it appears. The only reason people are out to destroy someone else, is because they feel inadequate. And I don’t think we’re up against people. I think we’re up against something on a different level. I guess the best we can do is learn from it. I’m angry and for good reason. I feel tense and like I’m on the edge of having a heart attack every day. I don’t know what the solution is. I mean, no human is perfect. But to deliberately keep slamming someone and to do it in such covert and long thought out ways is just sick. It’s like they can’t acknowledge that Jesus is God. And just live and let live. No, they have to fuck people around.

    • profile image

      Its like being forced to have two identities 

      7 weeks ago

      It’s like the real me isn’t allowed to exist and prosper. I’m a very social person, but not a sociopath. So because I don’t want to play that game I usually avoid people. Otherwise I get played with. It’s like I’m just watching my life pass me by, for nothing. And watching many others happily prosper and then some of them wonder what’s wrong with me? Like wtf! Nothing wrong with me, some of you people, though. You hold others down and manipulate them and try to make them out to be a whole bunch of things they’re not.

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      Agent73 

      7 weeks ago

      I find the last two comments disturbing, but there is nothing I can do. I wish both of you the best. Please read these trusty words from the Bible. This is the best advice I have, and these verses have helped me so many times. I am not preaching.

      Psalm 57:4-6 King James Version (KJV)

      4 My soul is among lions: and I lie even among them that are set on fire, even the sons of men, whose teeth are spears and arrows, and their tongue a sharp sword.

      5 Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens; let thy glory be above all the earth.

      6 They have prepared a net for my steps; my soul is bowed down: they have digged a pit before me, into the midst whereof they are fallen themselves. Selah.

      King James Version (KJV)

      Public Domain

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      Angry enough to mass KILL 

      7 weeks ago

      I know some will think my last comment is extreme and crazy, but it’s not. It’s a kind thing to remove people from humanity that are deliberately out to destroy others. I wish I could see clearly who’s who.

    • profile image

      Angry enough to mass KILL 

      7 weeks ago

      I wasn’t really looking for this, but came across it. I wouldn’t even know where to begin explaining what I’ve been through or who my ancestors were and who and what some of my close family members might be. And everything else that’s gone on. I don’t even know why I wake up in the morning. I just want the abuse to end. If not, I’m going to kill as many of these fucks as I can until I’m dropped. Anyways, I want to pass this website around. It’s not directly related, but talks about how the establishment has lied to common people and manipulated us. It’s theocs101ark.com please join and comment on the videos, if you feel inclined to.

    • profile image

      Agent73 

      2 months ago

      The Key to the Universe;

      Revelation One Nineteen

      Write down a brief account of your day, your problems that day, and a list of tasks to do the next day.

      ©1985 Paul Noblin

      Read Rev.1:19 (KJV).

      "Write the things which thou hast seen, and the things which are, and the things which shall be hereafter;"

      Write down the past, present, and future.

      Align your inside mind with the outside world (reality including Christ), and you will be one with All.

      Telepath Love & Perfection.

      The past is not fixed. The past is in flux and is constantly changing.

      You can bend reality.

      You are the center of your own Universe.

      Reprogram yourself.

      It only 15 or 20 minutes of your evening.

      You must join our organization. The S. P. C. P. - The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to People.

      Just bury $40.00 in a jar in your backyard. We will contact you. Presto. You're in!

      Make sure that no one knows that you are keeping a journal. Make certain that it can not be found. Tell no one, ever. A diary can be be used against you by your enemy and in court. Take my warning seriously. Still, this method is the very best way to regain your sanity. Believe in yourself. Use your natural psychology. You know yourself best. Store up a suitcase and cash. When you can see a break, leave town and do not look back. Tell no one where you are going. Still remember, if you act crazy, you will find a state mental institution, or better said, it will find you. Best of luck. I believe in you. Believe in yourself. Do not defend a dump or wasteland. Save yourself.

    • profile image

      Christine Skinner 

      2 months ago

      Hello,

      I really appreciated this article. I am a clinical social worker, and have worked with people suffering from narcissistic abuse, mobbing, scapegoating...etc. I myself have suffered these things as well as what I call organizational murder. I have counselled families and seen organizations psychologically torture, scapegoat and not only black ball but attempt to destroy a person. I also have suffered the attempts of organizational murder. Thank you for this article and helping to raise awareness for those suffering in silence and isolation. Hopefully, more can be done to assist clinicians and the legal field in knowing how to deal with this violence.

      With light and love

    • profile image

      Sustained 

      2 months ago

      This is how Gerard Butler was made to feel in the movie Shattered. It’s a GAME but instead of 24 hrs it’s infinity. Although he deserved it. This is being done to us that don’t deserve it. I like the advice given to not try to defend yourself or be believed. One of the keys is to find different ways to do what you set out to do that they block the 1st time. The fact that we are here writing to each other in sane terms is a feat in and of itself. Godspeed Sustained

    • profile image

      dr blabby 

      2 months ago

      Craig Gould -- Google a counselor in your area who deals in personality disorders - particularly narcissism. They are out there and they will not look at you like you're crazy. Good luck. :)

    • profile image

      Craig Gould 

      2 months ago

      Where do I go to get help for this kind of thing . Anyone I have gone to for help has treated me like I'm paranoid or obsessed and a mess I am .. 16 years and she bit our 11 year old son when he was three I couldn't believe it I told her I was taking him from her . She told me she would just make me look crazy I was scared she was right . . I think she has just pushed me to an all time low day after day trying to get me to kill myself right now I'm being blackmailed and she won't let me see my kids . I'm not scared of her anymore .

    • profile image

      Agent73 

      2 months ago

      It was my habit to drop four, four-way hits of blotter LSD that was made by graduate students at Vanderbilt University. The students had axcess to a certain aluminum reagent that has since been outlawed in the United States. There is little LSD in America, and street acid is mostly made from insecticides.

      I saw a blinding light, and discovered The Key to the Universe. When I got home, I told as many people as I could about my discovery. No one would listen.

      Finally, I picked up the phone and asked directory assistance to give me the number for The Satanic Church in California. A young woman answered the phone, and was delighted that I called. I got their address, and followed up on my call by writing this Satanic Church a detailed letter using my own name and address. Nothing bad happened to me.

      I suspect that somehow, Ozzy was privey to this secret information. When Diary of a Mad Man was released, I rushed to get a copyright on my work. I reduced everything into one simple sentence. As the years have gone by, I have contacted many rock musicians. I do not play guitar, but I played trumpet for twelve years. Funny, I have no talent. Still, it pisses me off to the core when people make outrageous claims about rock music when they have no clue as how to play any instrument or read sheet music.

      I am forever in debt to Ozzy Osborne for making Diary of a Mad Man. I have never confirmed it, but Ozzy even embedded a special message, just for me, in the album. "You got to believe it yourself, or no one will believe in you."

      If you align your inside mind with the outside world (Reality including Christ), you will be one with All. I have found The Key to the Universe in my Bible. Rev.1:19 (KJV). "Write the things which thou hast seen, and the things which are, and the things which shall be hereafter;". Write down the past, present, and future. I have decoded the most secret message known to mankind.

      The past is not fixed. It is in flux and changes all the time. I have met US, humans that live in the future, a million billion generations from now. They have time and space machines and travel the lightwaves, even to different dimensions, to every point in time and space, instantly. Telepath Love & Perfection.

      I am a Christian Mystic and work for The United States High Command as a Special Secret Agent. This recipe is so simple, but you must try it to make it work. I sold this in Rolling Stone magazine.

      The Key to the Universe:

      Revelation One Nineteen

      Write down a brief account of your day, your problems that day, and a list of tasks to do the next day.

      ©1985 Paul Noblin

      Long live Ozzy!!! I have no idea what this article is about, but if you read Brett's articles, you will find that the best revelations can be found in the comment section. AlternativeNation knows what they are doing. They report the best Rock & Roll news, but like Rock & Roll lyrics, you have to read between the lines.

      I have a huge Army behind me. You can read about it on LinkedIn. I am Paul Noblin,and my profile picture is a fork atop a glass of Kool Aid. I suggest that you read my profile if you are interested in joining the fight. What ever happened to the hippie Dream? Thousands were slaughtered in Vietnam to kill the Dream, and what politicians wanted most was to sleep with many heart broken young girls. All wars are fought to de-poputate young men and make available, thousands of young women who are starved for affection. Ask Ozzy. He is a Seven Star General. I am a foot soldier and a four star general.

      The goal of Russia and China is to make every person in America psychotic, mostly using advertising and television. They have almost succeeded in their plan. No one is home. Most Americans are, in fact, psychotic. The United States of America is a concentration camp.

      I am glad that you can walk in pitch black darkness because you have Faith. See blue skies today and every day no matter the. Weather. You are a real trooper. Carry on, my friend.

      Warm Regards... Paul.

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      The Scapegoated 

      2 months ago

      I want to walk away from them all, but because my mom has become a dependent with over 25 years of severe physical illnesses, I must continue to fight for her. When I am not there she is being covertly abused by the 83 year old 60 year NPD disordered. When a family member is of no use to him any longer and when a family member cannot be persuaded to join his smearing of another any longer, he totally removes them from life. I will not let him abuse my mom any longer. I am in it for the fight no matter how many times he locks me out of the house or calls the police on me for trying to be there for her! IT IS ARTICLES LIKE THIS THAT OPEN THE EYES OF ALL OTHERS WHO END UP INVOLVED - like the police, EMS, doctors, aides, nurses, social workers. They need to be forced to read articles like this in order to learn who the real aggressor is in a domestic relationship. And they need to understand especially how the NPD disordered will enlist the help of others to perform his dirty deeds so he can keep his hands clean throughout the abusing. Thank you for the post. Keep them coming. Let's spread the recognition of this illness faster and better than ever before. Too many have suffered until death, quietly, in the past.

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      Michelle ollerenshaw 

      2 months ago

      This psychological abuse is worse in a cult environment and your family choose to believe the cult leaders over you feeling suicidal over this but I chose to walk away from it all and leave the family behind it's nice to not be treated like that anymore and just try to build myself up again being careful who to trust in a way not trusting anyone hope other people come out of this and realise they're not alone x

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      Sue3044 

      2 months ago

      For sufferers, try going outside every day for a walk. Looking at the beauty in the world. Take care of yourself because no one else will. Write a list of things you like and like to do. Doing some of those every day. Turn to Jesus and read your Holy Bible 15 minutes a day starting at the beginning. Life might look dark, but a person can get up and see themselves for the wonderful being they are. There is a start in every race. We can and will work through the difficulties.

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      Lucifer Lawless 

      2 months ago

      Some people are powerful enough to kill their abusers in their sleep and or just destroy everyone who needs to be wiped out thats it I dont like being nasty but sometimes people only understand fear because if you love them they think you are an idiot and keep fucking your life up so from expirence I learned nobody really likes me but will do what I say when they are terrified which is a bit sad but you get that on the big jobs

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      Sustained 

      2 months ago

      These abusers are children in adult bodies. The abuse they suffered was never dealt with. They don’t understand why a God of love would not help them while they endured the abuse. I think by making others suffer it’s like for their wounds. Godspeed to all! Sustained

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      DrBlabby 

      2 months ago

      For those of you who are or have been victims of a "smear campaign" where your narc is spreading outrageous lies about you and attempting to destroy your reputation -- these are the things you do NOT do.

      l. Do not try to defend yourself to anyone. Narcs have flying monkeys who have been brainwashed by the narc to believe the abuser.

      2. Do not go on the internet and attempt to expose this person for their lies. It will backfire... You will only prove that you ARE the crazy one by these actions - that's what the narc wants you to do.

      You LAY low.... Realize YOU are the truth -- and those who don't believe you - were never your friends to begin with.

      My narc turned his entire family against me almost l0 yrs ago. I tried to defend myself to his daughter. She attacked me with the most vicious attempt to discredit me and defend her Father. NOBODY Has ever talked to me like that in my life. Outrageous disrespect. Then I realized.. Narcs come from a dysfunctional family - it's not uncommon for there to be more than one. Just detach -- Stay in your own truth.... WE know the truth. Maintain your dignity and integrity. They have none.

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      Bo Bo Johnson 

      2 months ago

      had a million cash 10 yrs ago , today I sit in a room alone day after day, with nothing and not one human being talks to me, my only daughter 32 yrs old closer than any mom & daughter could be suddenly silent , no incidents. so I don't know how he managed to do that because anyone who knew us would tell you to this day nothing could ever come between bmy daughter & I , so to say he's a pure demons or to say he's an expert would be the understatement of the century , I have no more strength to do shit, my life 8s over

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      Stacie 

      2 months ago

      What is one to do if this is happing to them what if know one belives them an they have no suport from anyone . The suffering has become so over barring

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      ChaosZeray 

      2 months ago

      Please don't ever think no one is listening. Some of us are working on helping our own and hoping to help with the way abuse it's looked upon. Our history in North America has kept abuse in the closet. But as you see we are all stepping out into the light to be seen and heard. It may be one at a time but it is adding up fast. Don't be ashamed or feel alone. I have had a horrible awaking to both my daughters. Working on the final outcomes and they will be victorious!

      Remember just because no one says anything as you tell your story does not mean no one is hearing them. It's may be they don't have the words yet but your voice can give her those or maybe the one who listens had not yet been but hm lays ahead in her future. Victims have goodness in their hearts. Keep it, spread it to others they are not alone. May God touch your lives. -ChaosZeray

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      Leroy 

      2 months ago

      This is exactly what I have went through for the last 15 years, everybody I know blames and accuses me of EVERYTHING. I have specifically been told "something things will never change".

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      NeddaJoy Lentini 

      2 months ago

      Yes. Yes. As dark and hard to grasp as this seems, it is an absolute reality. I will add the danger aspect psychologically is beyond believable. Please listen, if cluster b involved as well, horrific crime can result. It is fueled by the perception of abandonment and feeling victimized by the actual abused party. I cannot go into detail here, but please protect all identities and cyber accounts while caring for your mental and physical safety. This level of disorder is documented danger. Try and look up death row interviews. Astounding reveal of covert invisible abuse gone to escalating levels.

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      Sue3044 

      2 months ago

      I am not only dealing with NPD, they are telepaths and mentalists that can inflict physical damage. Broken wrist on the tennis court and back injury when I returned to tennis.

      I have managed to stand up to the psychological murder for years without alcohol or drugs. It's reputation ruining of prostitute that they hung on me. A queen bee started to do me in when I was new to tennis. A lot of locker room taunting. I could have filed a complaint about them showing porn in a city owned facility but didn't. They are very persuasive and stalkers. Only one sentence along with a photo and people turn on me. The perverts force themselves into homes of my friends and show porn videos. I usually know immediately by change of how I'm treated. Photoshop photos and two videoed room invasions that were turned into porn assist the bullies.

      Our abused adult resource center has started a program of green dot. A person who steps in or stops the bullying or abuse. Red dot for danger and black dot that I don't know what that means other than danger for both the red and black.

      I had a friend who was approached outside a recreation center where we play billiards and told the prostitute line. She said, let's go in and you can point this person out. Video surveillance inside and out of the building. I don't know if they have access to the surveillance video feed or not. They also approached the people we have evening socializing at a resort. Two were going to attack me. Another one, who was a coach and referee said not to be so hasty but watch my actions.

      H. has had a long-term relationship with one of the detractors. He's been a cheat for 35 years. I stay because at first and continues, I couldn't find a job to support myself. Family members also bully. At a wedding, they secured all the chairs at a table and wouldn't let my H. and me in. My SIL. There is more but I think this shows the issued. Thanks for the article.

    • wutz4tea profile image

      wutz4tea 

      2 months ago

      To FriendOfDaves:

      There are dozens of groups and pages on facebook. I have two information pages myself..."Domestic Abuse is Never OK", which deals with many types of domestic abuse and violence... I also recently started a new one which deals mainly with the emotional/psychological abuse mentioned here.."The Purple Brolly".. These are just information pages, (not groups) with articles such as this one and links to helpful support groups and websites ((ie..Inner Integration, Queenbeeing.com, 365 I Thrive, Emotional and Narcissistic Abuse, Spartan Life Coach, and so on, as well as links to international domestic violence organizations))... I was in this boat, too, and I searched and found these and other sites. It is important to note here though,--* read and learn a bit about this type of abuse before joining support groups and then step away from them when necessary, as these people are also still hurting and suffering varying degrees of toxic abuse. It can be a challenge, but it is also very helpful. Cheers...

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      Wolfwolveswolf 

      2 months ago

      I've commented many times. But no one cares, or want to hear about real physical and mental torture, especially when it happens right here in this so called UNITED STATES country to people born in North America.

      No one cares at all!

      They just freely torture physically and mentally all they want.

      The sinister, evil, so called people who rule this land with Power and control, though they are far worse to me than any commie has ever been, and not that I agree at all with commies. The point is what it is, and NOT good at all. None of this so called U.S. is good at all to me.

      All it had been is just one gigantic LIE! That keeps torturing me for nothing I've done, or deserve.

      Though I guess that is what the demonic do, they desire greatly to target people with sinister and evil. Two birds of a feather (though NOT relative at all to real birds, with due respect to birds)!

      Need I mention who they faithfully worship?

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      Rich Paradise 

      2 months ago

      The so called U.S. government State & Federal- tortures physically and mentally us people with a Sever Chronic Pain Sickness; and there are other certain people for whom those who have Power & control, target certain people and do as they wish- no matter how sinister and wrong it may be. For they control us all they want, and either torture the selected people for a long drawn out Painful death, or kill such subjects quickly.

      It is all at their discretion for whether they so choose to torture the selected individual, or to kill quickly the selected individual (they do torture some people for some time, years, decade(s), will stop for some time, and torture the person again for however they feel to do it, possible orders from their earthly god from below- to do it however they wish).

      I've been dealing with this control of the existence they take and force me to suffer in or commit suicide, all part of the sinister mind game they force and play us with- just as demons, and i.e. the fallen angels do. All part and in relation to how they torture me whenever they wish to, and I've been controlled now for almost 40 years, since I was 18 years old, and as an adult controlled/played with in a sinister manner by the demon people for 40 years.

      Where they finally allowed me after two decades to have somewhat of an adult life for 13 years, but now I believe, can easily see, that such the 13 years was just a tease to taunt me.

      Now they mentally play with me even deeper with a sinister type of taunt, where I have to face the Hell I know I can not take of suffering, or death/suicide. They know it is NOT easy at all, and there they go again with the sinister mental game torture they play against me.

      Where I get to learn just how evil and sinister so called people can be, just like the demons, and the fallen angels.

      They know my mind keeps playing with what I could have, but I am NOT allowed to have or be a person of their group who sell their souls and do demonic things. But what good is this when you face a physical suffering Hell. They even tell me "Pain is not suffering." I kid you not, and I'm talking Pain so bad it is unbearable, you start losing your mind, and you do NOT at all live. You want to live, but you want to die. There again the mental game they play against us for fun. Yes to show me what I could have, but nope I'm going to be tortured more, possibly for good. To suffer in physical torturous Pain, and where you get NO help. Been there, this is what they do. Again, all part of the mental game of real torture, and the option of only death- they throw at us like a steel bone for a Dog.

      These creatures of the dark side, I have to thank for one thing, I now know that Satan, and its fellow fallen angels are very real. Just like Satan's faithful two legged creatures that rule this earth in different lands (the U.S. too).

      I have finally come to see that none of this is real as we were led to think- by the very real system and two legged creatures that rule over us here on earth. Yes it is also real deep (yes deep that way too), and truly both sinister and evil. Nevermind all the lies we are told since we were young, led to think, and as if all of this globe is real too. Yet none of this earth has anything to do with real, it it is sinister and evil, the so called United States too. It is a whole different place than we have been told. Where so called people, are NOT always people at all. Some may look human, but the deception runs greatly. Between demons, fallen angels, and those with two legs who have sold their soul to them all. But they also rule and control us, torture and kil us.

      Just Pray, I tell any real person, Pray that you are NOT of any of the people the so called U.S. government purposely targets here on earth, and for you know who. As they destroy any kind of life they wish to, and freely they do it. Being the innocent people they have marked/selected as an unworthy people for any kind of life. Whether prolonged with torture, or quick kill- and unknown why they decide we are the marked/chosen people by them, the reason is unknown for why one person they mark as chosen for torture or quick death, and yet not the next person. Where they do choose for the marked/chosen people, to either make the person's existence a long miserable torturous on going drawn out death, or to just kill the person quickly (from one day to a few years, to even a decade, that I assume is quick/fun/humorous in their eyes. Where they also know the person will have to choose between suffering, searching for a hopeless non existing answer, or suicide.

      Like I said, we have no choice on/in the matter at all. Though they do love to play with our mind, besides the fact that they are torturing us greatly both physically and mentally- in a sinister, cruel, evil, manner, of which they get away with all the time here in their little earthly Hell.

      But NOT only do I know about them, but also does G-d know well (put lightly) about these two legged demons here on earth, and who they truly worship.

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      Danna Smith-Aldridge 

      2 months ago

      I am going through this still and my Faith in Jesus Christ is all that sustains me. Please help me if possible

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      FriendOfDaves 

      3 months ago

      Would you people please get on a Facebook group chat or something because you need to support each other. It seems like some of you have come through the other side of it with the help of AA and Jesus and even crumbs left of your will to survive and be happy.

      My friend Dave is dealing (but not very well) with this or something like it everyday. He's using like many here and clearly that does no good whatsoever. But since we met he's become a one-topic obsessed person and had me vacillating between convinced he's got to be right about this, through bored with this shit, all the way to fucking angry & kicking rocks to get away from him because he got high and lashed out thinking I have an agenda to hurt him. This is where I'm pretty much at right now. Insulted, not interested in being anywhere near this level of crazy. Whether it's real or imagined. I'm not without struggles, but I'm too healthy and I kick too hard to be pulled in or down into murky waters. Still I found myself hi, being yelled at accused of the same thing he's told me others are doing to him. This after many months freely, neighborly giving of my sweet heart, time and money in friendship 2 him and his ill behaved dog. So I'm out. He sent me this article and out of curiosity and not expecting much, I read it. Still stinging from the loss of time I used on someone who so easily and ill-ly mis-judged my character. I'll get over it. I'm not very sentimental.

      But I was astonished by how many people claim being victimized by this. So I thought I'd throw a final life preserver ring for him and on all of your behalfs. No need to thank me, so few of my many character-defining charitable acts get acknowledged. lol.

      Many of you here have shared experiences in common with his. Do you believe me, can you help me is how/why support groups are started. I saw Facebook recently advertised Groupchat or something like that. The advertisement was 4 Elvis fans or people who like New Orleans. Hoping maybe there is someone here who is inspired to create one to commiserate with decent but confused people who are being gang stalked. That's what Dave calls it gangstalked. Dave Thomas, he's on Facebook. If you create one would you be so kind to invite him That's about all I can do. Hope you folks get freedom from this. Maybe you can do it together. Personally if it were my problem I would immediately get to the gym, eat clean and get my head above the game being played. I would end the mothrfkr. No revenge no games. End it. Good luck

      A

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      DrBlabby 

      3 months ago

      I have been with a narcissist for 13 yrs - married for almost 8. At first, he seemed "normal"....then the mask came off. I attributed it to his dysfunctional family creating a unique person. I was fascinated by his whole demeanor - not realizing I was being set up to be his latest emotional punching bag ( wife # 3). We dated/broke up/dated broke up with him being a cheat, liar, thief, and two faced backstabber who orchestrated a smear campaign that resulted in his family never speaking to me again. We are older. I don't want to start over - but when I agreed to marry him - I kept my house. My "insurance policy" - my safe haven to escape from his craziness. I know what he is,. Even filed for divorce 8K later- that he called off. Why do I "stay"?

      BENEFITS. He has a fantastic retirement package that I could never afford on my own - medical benefits that I need at my age. So we continue to play the game - I am astounded he can still come up with ways to abuse me, emotionally - and I held on to hope for a long time. No longer. I will be his part time companion - when it's convenient for HIM and I will be happy to collect his pension and social security when he dies. To all of you reading this.. DO NOT BE WITHOUT RESOURCES TO ESCAPE. Have a plan. Protect yourselves as these narcs are only in it for themselves and don't give a hoot about you. Not ONE. Don't be stupid - play the game if you want -- but develop a thick hide where you always remind yourself that you are a loving, beautiful, and caring person. THAT the narc will NEVER NEVER NEVER be. Karma will get their ass. Trust me. ( He ha never supported me - I am totally financially independent of him so I didnt' marry him to be a golddigger. Got more self respect than that. There is more tot he story but space prohibits me from sharing all of that.. He may be slick. But i'm smarter. Good luck, everyone. They will torture you to your death if you let them.

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      David Isaac Dodds 

      3 months ago

      Sadly this is all very real. You know it is when you have an entire community of people that you don’t even know, covertly harassing you and playing little mind games. The more you try to figure it out, what you’ve done so wrong, the worse it gets. Talk about an overactive mind and PTSD. It’s pretty much a full time job just being awake. This sounds an awful lot like organized community harassment and mobbing. And just to think, I’d actually like to get to know some of these people, but they just see me as a fucking psychological punching bag, all while they smile in my face.

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      Becky Goodale 

      3 months ago

      Can see this is clearly without a doubt what my 45yr old daughter is dealing with.She turns to alcohol to self medicate and just makes the excuse that a drink or two relaxes and she enjoys It. But at what cost. In debt, I have tried to help and there is no help unless she faces what he is! Unfortunately he is the Father of Her only child. At 5 yrs old of course she loves her Dad. I can't be around him at all because he has verbally abused me as well and I do not have to condone his behaviour. He is a sociopath, my daughters self esteem must be pretty low to deal with allowing him back over and over. He destroyed 30,000 dollars of her possessions early in relationship,

      And makes her believe they were worthless.her personal paintings were priceless..furniture..clothes..he has told her to go hang herself calls her worthless., how can Imas a Mother help??? Everyone else has walked away leaving her even more isolated. I believe he will physically harm her or and my Granddaughter eventually and there is nothing anyone can do to stop him. He doesn't work, drive have a car , oh he drives others cars including my daughter's without a license, insurance..he is beyond the law a total

      Scumbag of a criminal and living life off of everyone. Collects ODSP and lives

      High on the hog on others money.

      A cockroach of a human you will never eliminate without strong poison!

    • profile image

      Jean 

      3 months ago

      Our soon-to-be retired boss of hundreds of adults and children has NPD. It seems I didn't do sth. he wanted me to do - I do not know what - so he gave me so much work, I had burnout and felt close to quitting, since I knew he was evil. When I got back to work, he started stripping me of my functions and duties, while shouting and denigrating me for silly things, like an empty cellphone. In between, I called in sick, he was so delighted on the phone that I swore he would not do it again. After a break, I returned - and his mask slipped. I went on with a smile on my face till he claimed to the Ministry I was violent. My lawyer and I could prove I was innocent : journaling is very important! I've switched workplaces, the NPD will retire in a few weeks and I'll be able to breathe again.

    • profile image

      Debra Roncancio 

      3 months ago

      Marc Hubs i wanted you to know and your readers. I finally proved that my husband Pedro Roncancio has committed psychological and sexual abuse. This is how it happened. I filed for SSI and by the grace of God, i was sent to Dr. SHILPA TRIVEDI,PSYD. I was diagnosed with PTSD and it states my husband was my abuser. I now can sue my husband and include pain and suffering for 21 years. 1998 - 2019. I also have sent a 211 whistleblower claim in for committing tax fraud and tax invasion bcus Pedro thought he could hide our 3 million dollar company income and his personal income from the IRS and me. There is justice . I never gave up, why, I had my wonderful girls support and love the entire time. There is hope to all. Saying goes NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR LIFE. TODAY I AM. TOMORROW I WILL BE THE BEST PERSON TO MYSELF AND OTHER'S IN MY LIFE. I enjoyed your site and i hope your readers will find comfort, knowing they are never alone. God will guide you through a path of life. And authors you shed a light to others. God bless.

    • profile image

      Sustained 

      3 months ago

      They said don’t be a drunk! I’m not a drunk anymore! They said don’t do drugs! I’m not taking prescription painkillers or anxiety meds anymore! They said get a job! I’m working 58 hrs a week! They said shhhhhhhh! I’m shhhhhh! I keep moving up the ladder! Things are much better now! Keep moving towards the light! Godspeed to everyone! Sustained!

    • profile image

      Alife4we 

      3 months ago

      This is hard. but gonna just be open. Im currently using to escape this from someone i havent seen or heard in two years. Recently he hit me up on my phone pleading for help and i caved in even though i went through hell trying to male sense of what was happening in my life since the day i met this guy. Im overactive in my mind and extreamly exhausted to explain much. But im using every day. i shoot. Crystal. and everyday while im doing my shot i tell muself im just going to do this and have fun. but my mind cant stop thinking. it just doesnt know how to make assumptions because there are no hard answers that dont hild doubt. I used to make sense but now i dont. Ive lost my way. And how can someone do this and not even be there? I did this to myself. Maybe. A part of me wants to go to rehab. to try and make a change. But yhe state of exhaustion just keeps me from ever leaving my home. i dont evenget out of my chair hardly but to go shower and use the bathroom or cook something. Im freakishly scared of bugs too but even that has taken a toll because im hardly caring to keep gaurd from them. im messy and dont pick up after myself. The day this guys called me just recently, i fucking cleaned my house. But since he hasnt really come like he said he was, ive noticed im just rightback to this path that will lead to nothing but death. im sure of it. how do i stop myself and get help? i hardly give a fuck about this person. me. i only care that truth is known and that minds are at peace. I have a quality about me that is my biggest strength in whats happened to me. Its being aloof. It may sound weird but this ability saved me dozens of times and still does. im able to be infrom of anybody and know whats going on but i dont show it and so many times im actually one step ahead of whats happening. which lead to my successful escape two years agao. but how do i use this strength to help myself with where im at now. I couldnt care less about my reputation because i just dont care. I just want to go into a soundproof room and for once not hear the things i hear. I know. ive become schitzofrenic. or however you spell it. i hear what i used to hear for real. but i know its not for real now because i held onto it all.and thought too long on making sense of all the judgments or hazing. Im sorry world. Find a reason to love instead of hate.

      MyMei

      MyMeI

      Who I am, I must be.

      I'll take it slow

      Before I lead.

      Learn and grow

      So much to heed.

      This much indeed;

      Listen To know.

      Ask if in need.

      One thing is free,

      Who I am, has no fee.

      Who I am, Can't be seen.

      I am not this body.

      I am not this hair.

      I am not somebody

      You see standing here.

      I am the Intentions.

      I am the Choices.

      I am the Questions.

      I am the Voices.

      Who I am, You are too.

      -Alife Jodi Fox

      POINTS HAVE GOT TO GO AWAY

      Must I keep so still?

      All day, just sit and play.

      My views have changed too ill.

      Points have got to go away.

      Yet do I stop myself?

      So far I've let it be.

      Passive and detached from self.

      I wonder if I'll live for me.

      Am I able to kick the crave?

      Try has tried a try to save.

      To find the strength, I must say,

      "Points have got to go away."

      I have no strength to this new way.

      It took almost all of my pay.

      its too much to simply say

      "Points have got to go away."

      As an addict I hardly worry

      My thoughts can stay happy

      Full of my nostalgic memory.

      Points have got to go away.

      I knew this once, but lost my way

      To live without this drug is the way.

      I just hope see one day

      These points will finally go away.

      -ALIFE JODI FOX

      Alife4we came to me through this. I have a dream of helping many others to learn to freely express themselves. My thought is like a buisness like the ymca that can be utilized by anyone to practice all forms of expression. I took on a form of expression that i had hoped would inspire My abuser to simply try. I did what i thought was my best and did better if i learned better. I tought myself guitar, without using youtube or books or nothing. just me myself and i. i play guitar my own way but i made a song and its got a catch for conversations. So i named it conversations. It had no lirics. Sadly thing went haywire two years ago which lost me my Dog, Lirva mama Fox and ny guitar and stripper pole. Yes i even challenged to proove i could learn to dance by myself by just trying. Stuborrnly not learning from others. Some say i looked cool but now looking at the recording i suck at dancing. But whatever lol. My thing is just crap. omg where was i going with this. i kinda just mind splat. Heres some more poems. my poems are my only tool that help me stay saine. yes i wrote them but i know it was my soul that knew them and i know i should pay closer attention too. Ive used them to help lots of other people but its just hard for me to even care to help myself. Im fine. ill be fine. Really i am fine. Really i wont be fine though but hush hush cause life is a rush.

      I To We Love In Full

      -ALIFE JODI FOX

      For the most part this is how it goes.

      I must find I to become We. Understand?

      Many I's become We once I's are found.

      We's are I's guide to forgive without reprimand.

      We's live in heart's. When I's Hear I's, We Sound's.

      As just an I, I's day and night may feel lonely.

      I's that reject We's sound are I's with much clouts.

      Doubt We? Well to I, I's can be unworldly.

      "We lovein full" is what i hope forever shouts.

      At times I's annoy We's, because We is so fetch.

      If this causes We's to drift into new routes,

      I's remain such great freinds. Just like gretch.

      We's are not the I's that just sit and poutes.

      We's can only remain I's for so long.

      As I's, We's break. Cause I's are only human.

      We be We so We can Sing We's song.

      We's are strong and forms I's love with reason.

      I's begin at time's in another I's pocket.

      Test I's claiming to be We, less I's die.

      As I aim my route to your locket.

      You can trust us and learn to love We.

      I's then use We. We start's in two hearts.

      In love We's live and teach loves story.

      As We's grow old or time spent apart,

      These stories help keep love's memory.

      I not yet We? Remember, love makes I to We.

      Steal time to hear We's. We's are most insightful.

      Through inspiration, We is how love lives.

      Make it I's goal to say, "We Love In Full"

      -A_L.I.F.E_ JODI FOX

      12-5-2016

      Agape Love Is For Everyone.

      All Love Is Found Equal.

      A Lesson Is First Experienced.

      Accepting Love Inspires Full Expression.

      Another Love In Full Effect.

      A Life I Face Earnestly.

      Anyone Lost Is Finding Enlightenment.

      A Larry Iris Fox Expression

      my last words for this world;

      "Find a reason to Love instead of hate."

    • profile image

      Saji Crossroad 

      3 months ago

      Thank you for this article. I pray for all of you . This has really given insight to my current situation. You are not alone.

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      Sustained 

      3 months ago

      Marc,

      Thank you for your insight on this matter, it’s a dead ringer for what’s happening! I saw where someone poopood it! That’s a shame, he obviously didn’t read the outcrys! We hope to hear from you soon! I’d also like to say, I believe we have a natural desire to tell people close to us what’s happening in our lives and them believe us! Especially when it’s something “jacked up from the pit of hell” but we all have to have a funeral for this desire! We don’t have to talk about it and therefore don’t have to suffer when we aren’t believed! I’m at a point now where when something is missing from my things I can laugh because in this part or level of the game the players put it back! They don’t make me wait a year for it anymore! Remember, if you keep responding normally to things when something crazy happens ie; call the cops, talking about everything that’s missing, the tv getting turned on and you didn’t do it, you’re going to get clotheslined! I pray for Jesus to think for me, in hopes of putting my brain back in order! I love this blog, we pour it all out and we are believed here! We are there toys and they’re are fascinated when you can rise above it! Go on with things as usual! Hope this helps someone! Sustained

    • profile image

      No BS 

      3 months ago

      25 years plus , and it continues. Every time I start anew , the trouble starts. Originates from my very abusive family to try cover the abuses of the past. Never stops. Destruction of good name and an insistence that I have mental issues. All to cover the massive child abuse I suffered.

      Three siblings are social workers and have sent weirdo mental health groups after me to cause me problems. I reject them and they react as mentally ill people usually do . Without boundaries. I now keep to myself as any relationship I form with normal people is quickly sabotaged with by these weirdos claiming a variety of things about me. Easier to stay alone than to try to form bonds in the face of doubts and suspicion.

      The disgust I feel is indescribable.

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      Sustained 

      3 months ago

      I’m living this hell too! There’s light at the end of the tunnel! It seems that God chose to make something happen that science cannot explain! I don’t know what! So thanks be to God for intervening! It took the unseen to deal with the unseen! I now live it at a much lower level of detriment. Hence the name I gave myself “Sustained”! NOT OVERULED! To anonymous, You ask “how is this happening”? It’s satellites that has been made available for the public to buy. After all what can the filthy rich buy that would entertain them any better than “to know everything”! I’m not telling you this to scare you! There’s power in knowing! I don’t talk about this often, but God has given me a psychic ability. Now there are radio commercials that confirm what I thought was going on since 2007! Cling to the Bible verse Isaiah 41:10! Do your daily work and tend to easy common daily tasks. If you struggle with it write it down and add humor to it! My humor type is a political talk host Chris Plante. He’s hilarious! Listen to him or find your own humor! Hope this helps someone! God be with you! Sustained!

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      Onloveable liar thief whorable 

      3 months ago

      8 + years. This has been my life. So many times like the phoenix somehow manage to get back up. Start over. Move. Change career, lost support network. Right when i thik im safe and free, they appear again. Anonymous. Smearing me to new job, relationships, landlords, etc.

      No one believes me. Theres no other way out. Im tired. Broke. About to be homeless. Again. If i want to survive i jave to suffer in silence and take meds and admit that im craxy unlovable wirthless liar that desrves .

      Once uopn a dream, i knew what it was like to shine.

      Every

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      Lisa Gilmore 

      3 months ago

      Marc,

      With tears flowing so hard down my face - I thank from all of my being for wrong the exact story of what's Happening to me now. I'm so broken, Yeti hanging on to some for of a life by merely a thread, with literally what is currently left of the human I once was. I have to tell u that their was not one thing you said that has not been done to me. I pray one day I can write you back as a survivor in the longer they can! There’s still a slide that I have there and of course not even hear the monster can take my faith in my God I wish for me ever!!! Thank for shedding light on a truth that NEEDS THE SPOT LIGHT ON IT! I often wonder how many women committed suicide at the hands of the killer

    • profile image

      Anonymous 

      3 months ago

      Help!!! Omg I have not clue what to do been through several jobs dropped without no excuse or reason noone talks to me anymore. My kids are against me. The entire neighborhood looks at me like Im some kind of monster..I do not deserve this. I even went out on a limb and tried visiting someone whom I didnt know and whats the crazy part it only lasted about 3 days until they started mimicking the same behavior..How in the world is this possible..I had several people whom I have never met in my life act towards me in the same manor..I just do not understand it..I have lost everything and everyone and I dealt with a narcisstic husband for 10 years but my own mother is a narcisstic sociopath as well and already threatening to have me committed.. What is going on in this world today its truly became hell on earth!!!

    • profile image

      Nancy Riley 

      4 months ago

      Thank you so much, Marc Hubs. This article really hit home. It explained to me precisely why I have felt my life was worthless, and my desire to end it. Even though I ceased living with my sbuser over 8 months sgo, I only recently severed all ties forever. I had actually been feeling that the only way for me to survive financially was to maintain some relationship with her as she has quite a lot of money and property, some of which she had promised to share with me, even after she'd devastated my independant financial future for her own fleeting and frivolous purposes. I have also over the past few months been trying to get my affairs in order as I was feeling suicidal, but as you pointed out in your article, some of us don't want to leave our loved ones with a financial or an emotional burden. Your article has given me an understanding of how and why I've gotten to this point of worthlessness and despair, and suddenly I feel like, yes, I CAN go on living, even if I will be poor, and no, I will NOT be beaten and kill myself in despair and sadness because of all she has stolen from me. She was my best friend for 55 years, ever since we met in the 2nd grade. I always acted as her protector. She called me her pit bull, but I now know that she looked at me as just a stupid loyal animal that existed only to serve her. I now know why I have felt so empty for so long, but I feel the beginnings of hope, I will find a reason to celebrate being alive. I can't thank you enough, YOU ARE AN ANGEL!

    • profile image

      Exhausted 

      4 months ago

      Mine started when I was a few months pregnant. It turned into physical abuse from financial, emotional, psychological, and verbal. After child was born, there was litigation and domestic violence by proxy. After we separated, he still continues his mental and verbal abuse. He abused our child and when reported by myself and multiple people, he turned to taking our child away from me and casting false allegations of parent alienation onto me so that they would press charges against me instead of him.

    • profile image

      TGIF 

      4 months ago

      I would very much like to know where you are in the world...Is this a worldwide phenomena? I heard that there is a gambling element to this which makes it even more disturbing and sick. People place bets on what the victim will/won't do next. It is orchestrated and deliberate and high-net worth individuals are victimised so that their assets can be looted and the abuser- CRIMINAL- gets away with a murder they didn't commit and the assets of same! Kick the ASS and seize the ASSETS! SICK. I would like your comments MARC...how did you put this together, from research? Thanks in advance of your reply.

    • profile image

      JohnDoe182 

      4 months ago

      Psychological murder is VERY real - it can end as Murder or Attempted Murder; either way leaving the victim disabled or dead. It is the slow poisoning of a persons mind, life, body, career, family, community and total well being. It inevitably leads to a horrible place. It becomes Murder when that person commits suicide and/or is killed by what appears to be their own doing. It can lead to a person being imprisoned, framed, institutionalized or rendered mentally insane permanently.

      I am living this nightmare. I was just recently very successful, 2 children whom id die for, a growing business, a new 3000 SQ FT house built to secure stability for my wife and kids if something were to happen to me.

      Then my nightmare came to light…I ran away, and still I find no peace and no shoulder to cry on, no one with any power to stop it. My closest people turned out to be my biggest nightmares, with the financial power to boot. Hackers, people bought and placed in my life, complete identity theft and manipulation.

      I am literally praying they’ve gotten all they wanted and will leave me alone to start from below ground… I used to be fearless, passionate…. Now I don’t trust my own shadow, and my most prized possessions (my children) will and cannot ever know the truth. I would’ve rather be been burned alive 10 times over than relive the last 3 years.

      -DP

      There is NA

      There is AA

      I wish there was a group for PMA… post here and share your story… maybe we cant prove or fight those who victimized us, but at least we can find solace in knowing that someone believes us.

    • profile image

      doesnt matter 

      4 months ago

      can you help someone in the most severe form of this situation

    • profile image

      DANA WILLIAMS66 

      4 months ago

      Mine started AFTER a marriage, where all the years of previous therapy was useless because what was once a localized problem has now become a systematic, just with more people involved. What types of people would describe your life as being in 'hell' while smiling then turn around and expect a person to act normally with trust? That is just it, you wouldn't. Forget physical abuse, emotional and mental is far worse because there is no evidence to expose that hey, even words can lie as being 'special' yet at the time time psychological abuses have indeed been going on.

    • profile image

      BL 

      4 months ago

      I am leaving a man who did just what is described, for over 13 years. Now I see it clearly. It has taken 11 years of therapy and 6 years of intense PTSD therapy to help me overcome the mental murder this man committed against me.

      I am no longer a victim, because now I understand what’s going on and I know if I stay, I will now be a volunteer. It’s been a ride in hell with him but I am so grateful to have survived it. One of my best friends was married to someone similar, but she didn’t make it. She hung herself 3 years ago.

      I am leaving for me and I am leaving for her and I am leaving for all the other women who have lived in this kind of hell. Not because they were weak, but because they were kind and decent and believed in love.

      My closeness to Jesus is the strongest it’s ever been. I am so blessed. I pray this experience will somehow benefit others.

    • profile image

      Bre 

      4 months ago

      For someone to purposely drive you insane is hell,and it absolutely dose happen.I lived it for over a decade,secretly lived it..had i told anyone what i was going thru they too would think i was crazy.It wasnt until the discard phase that i started searching and came upon the term "gaslighting" that i learned that there was other people in this world that has also gone thru similar.That saved me,it woke me up and i learned from that why i felt so weak,so fragile and isolated.This hell was killing me.Ive been out of it for over a year and i still find myself trying to figure out why but i believe ill never find the answer.During that discard phase i was so confused as to why my own family would do this i ended up being the one in the mental hospital.This abuse is so crazy and unbelievably hard to explain to someone who has never experienced it that (for me)didnt even have it in me to find the words.Im still hoping to someday find someone who can relate so i can get things off my chest.Its true that DV dont even get this abuse.Try to tell someone that your abuser moves your belongings around to cause confusion and they too think your crazy.Its a really hard situation when u have no one to turn to.However i think God for allowing me to see the light.I hope u all are blessed too!!

    • profile image

      Pin 

      4 months ago

      I have gone through abuse since birth , my parents are both narcopaths. I have undergone incredible abuse. i am currently trying to find a way out. Find a job. and leave the country. have no friend.

      Can use all the advice that you may have. Very happy to find this page and at least see what is happening is true and im not insane.

    • profile image

      Ntf 

      4 months ago

      Thank you

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      Deb 

      4 months ago

      This was my life exactly for 14 years. This is real, people like this do exist. The evil in them is to the core.

      I got out 2 years ago. The relief was instant, but the remnants of damage/ptsd remain. I am working on it.

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      Linda 

      4 months ago

      I have been dealing with this tramatic situation for a long time. It got worse the last five years. I have been down that road thinking suicide, what is he going to do next and what choices do I have left even therapy. If there are answers out there, I would love to hear them.

    • profile image

      lisa 

      4 months ago

      jfjbfj - i understand your feeling dispair - just know you are not alone and I will pray for you - understanding the situation is half the battle - I encourage you to realize you are a person worthy of better in your life - seek that - seek to surround yourself with loving caring people - hard to find but out there - my thoughts and prayers to you..

    • profile image

      lisab2019 

      4 months ago

      i offered this woman a job who i only new from an organization - her and i became friends after she took the part time job - she then did something which gave her power and then she started becoming this control freak and then started manipulating situations to her benefit even if it caused undue strain on others as they could not have any say in the situation she said she needed things done her way due to her bi polar and other mental issues - she then underhandedly took away 4 opportunities for me to make more at work as she interupted conversations and then bullied me saying off he wall things about why she did what she did - then she started ostrasizing me at work and leaving me out of meetings and conversations that would have helped me learn things to benefit my work and she said i would be her partner in a business doing our work which would allow us to do well financially and i knew she was right but she not only kept me from that she gaslighted the heck out of me till i felt like i was nothing and i became very depressed and had suicidal thoughts - it was terrible she convinced others at work to leave me out of the teamwork which caused my job not to be done as fast as it could and effected everything including my time - she stalked me at time as well - she caused 4 people to loose their jobs by medling and caused 2 other woman (and me - that would be 3 people ) to get physically sick - from the way she treated them psychologically -

      i ended up with a mini stroke... i developed very painful arthritis from being so depressed i had no energy even to take my vitamins which at my age caused my body to not function well and i developed very painful arthritis and fibromyalgia and now am being checked for cancer - was crying all the time and so depressed i questioned my life and existance and felt that an opportunity to forward myself had been selfishly withheld from someone who was supposed to be a friend - it was beyond devisating.. for those going throug this i feel for you and will be posting more about maybe doing something to help others like us - please comment and let me know if anyone interested in something being done - i am looking into ideas right now after i find another job to get away from this person i will repost and get input and look for support in doing something to help victums get help where there is non.. (of course to a certain extent as able ..)

    • ESSiegel812 profile image

      Eric Stephens 

      4 months ago from Brooklyn, NY

      I am going through this right now. Thank you for this article.

    • profile image

      Miamoore2019 

      4 months ago

      Wow this article really hit home in a devastating way....every part if it so familiar and scary. I'm so aware of everything it implies and in agreement with everything it predicts and foresees yet still Soo stuck. I feel powerless and hopeless.

    • profile image

      Jean 

      5 months ago

      My sister put this crime on me.

      The part that is most evil is that the players are government and Color of Law representatives ( police, mental health workers, Color of Law ect)

      Just like Weinstien punishing his victims for telling the truth she too used his methods to have me destroyed.

      Her secrets were never going to be told until she made certain that she silenced me after meeting and eventually marrying a man who was wealthy and a fund raiser for political races. His position within the government gave he and she the ability to use undue influence to have me destroyed.

      She slandered defamed smeared me and more.

      She had me run from my home.

      She alienated my children against me.

      During two interrogations I endured this past year by both DHS and Seattle Border Patrol the truth about her came out without my wanting to tell. OMG! The secrets she had!

      I am homeless and traumatized.

      My father referred to her as "The Bad Seed." he was right.

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      Bonnie Campbell Schmelzer 

      5 months ago

      The state of California is very uneducated on the subject of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE when there is no physical signs of harm.

      CALFORNIA WAKE UP!!!

      If my daughter is Murdered, her blood will be on Your Hands!

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      mary jean Lind 

      5 months ago

      it is a basis to harm for the out come of harm for the all gains involved that come from the initial moment tactic begins to be of hate to harm .

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      Signe Maria Minsker 

      5 months ago

      The “ story” below reminds me on severeal things about my situation, I think. Although my situation started when I was 0, and I grew up indoctrined with the fact that I am less than human and insane. “ My parents” slandered me all over a whole country, and used the system, neighbours everything to kick/ bully me out of appartment after the other. Til now: I am homeless and ran away from “ Denmark”, to stay “ alive”. The police even went along with it and helped “ my dad”. They kicked my door in and try to commit me, for trying to stand up for myself and defend myself. My dad has also tried to Strangle me, and done other kinds of violent acts. But I was never well functioning like you. The Danish social control system was used to cover up and help abuse me. Also as a finishing tutch I would like to mention, that just for the fun of it, “ my parents” also placed me in a cult. I just write and write cause nobody wants to help ore nobody who can help wants to hear me. In reality I should just have cut it down to:

      “ both my parents” were psychopaths and I was paraded around for more abuse, everywhere, since the age of 0.

      Interesting what you can tell people and get away with in the” worlds least corrupt and most well functioning country”. Big rape to the worlds biggest hole ( by now). If you know what I mean by that.

    • profile image

      susan Leczkowski 

      5 months ago

      I know this is happening and I have gone to every agency to report it. It's all about money and protecting the family name and airs. Divorce and dV are not acceptable in my family. My DMS4 was taken, contact to a psychiatrist. They called and said they were bringing me in and that am an RN, that i had every symptom in the dms IV. tHE dms is the only clinical reference needed for psychiatric disorders and it is a book that defines, describes, gives stable symptoms, out of control behavior and compensation behaviors and what precipitate the behavior. I was strangled and my mental functioning was confused and I was battered. My family decided to throw me under the bus and sided with my husband. He was made the victim and I was stripped of my social status as an excellent and above the average RN with a specialty license ifn Critical care and catastrophic case management.

      I was diagnosed before I entered the doors that I was forced through. My fate was sealed when I fought and denied the symptoms., I was not hysterical I was fighting. My comments were delusions. My loving family with money, millions of dollars they have stolen from me. Stripped me of anything to give me any credibility or power.

      I have been socially dead for over 12 years. Despite overwhelming proof of the tax fraud, evasion, collusion, and mulotiple other counts of fraud and collusion, no authority will pursue prosecution.I have been told to contact and asterics have case numbers, and two have had cases dropped becasue of interference from family monitoring my actions with the agencies. They have fradulently created accounts with varoious agencies and posed as me and have continued to perpetuate the crazy behavior that they reinforce by taking my reports and making paranoid comments after. So no agency will believe me. The agencies are IRS* **, FTB CA* **, Sociual security (no advocate not investigations ), FBI *. **, Post Master General *, FTC *, DOJ (waiting for info), Board of axountancy Waiting), Dept of the TReasurey,(have not contacted my reporting), I have given volumes of documents in the hands of the colluders that clearly state their ations and intentions against me and that if I don't comply they will charge me tens of thousands of dollars.

      I am on socia security and have CompPTSD, I can nolonger have a day that is restful. I have attempted suicide out of hopelessness. I am bullied and threatened regularly.

      Social morays that are the foundation to societal decorum are believed to be unshakeable and people deniy the morays can or are boroken by some. These are the morays defied, family takes care of family-mo they don't have to, Family has your back, they know all of your vulnerabilities, familys wouldn't incrominate or hurt family members, families are nurturing, buisness owners distribute money owed to share holders equally, the saying people say when a moray is broken is this statemet of disbelief...that just doesn't happen you are wrong. It can and does and it's easy to do because it's unbelievable and a narcicists play ground. It inflates their ego to do evenmore to see what more power they can have over the weak.

      My life expectancy is decreased. I am fearful all the stime, I am almos done struggling to get help. I promised my daughter I would not leave her and that I would endure the feelings that make me just want peace and to just leave my life.

      No body believes me despite evidence. I have been cleared clinically of all psychiatric diagnosis except ptsd and psychogenic seizures that are caused by too much emotion to cope with. I am alone and fear I will be the rest of my life. I have lost my lively hood as an RN, my status as a confessional. I have been alienated by friends and colleagues and my mother who has been told lies. They say in the ADA legislation that there is help for cognitively and emotionally disturded individuals against abbuse but that does not include financial abuse. There is only financial abuse for people under 18 and over 65.

      If ther is any one in psychiatric care that is able to afford more than their insurance benefit of policy days then that person should be ebaluated for financial abuse. Day treatmebt is almost 200$ a day and the treatmebt is usually 3-5 days a week for 6 months. The math upto $6000,00 per month and over six months $36,000.00 for only mental health treatmet (5 days for six months cost) . This ability to pay is a significant piece of evidence that there is money and motive for financial abuse.

      Financial abuse how does it sound and what are the reactions. Get an attorney...my family gave me 300$ per month for myself and middle school child for internet, bundle, food, clothing, supplies and household cleaning products.. My family used the disease of bipolar--a family can remain in status wif someone is mentally disabled. They also said they had to restrict and control my money as bipolar are known to over spend and being a drug addict well you can give them money. If I was so bad why didn't authorities have my middle school daughter removed? She was removed when she was an adolescent and I was told i would never see her again.

      I went from a sixd figure income to a four figure income. An adult doesn't transition to that well and a child to adolescence has a flat out melt down and that is why she was removed. Her father died of alcoholism and i have been the trashcan of secretes and still am.

      The narcicist's of my family are my brother an sister. The are retiring and will do so soon as the 40 million dollar corporation is now hanging onto 16./ My brother gives himself a 3 million dollar salary and gambels about 2 million of the profits a year. My sister is not as open with her pillaging of monies.

      I will soon be homeless. I will not live on the streets well. I will not be given help with my financial history. I will forever be looked at as a hopless drug addict. its been 12 years I don't have many doors to knowck on,. My only support is God and I refuse to loose faith in the only thing I have left to hope for. There is always Job and Jesus. I try to be grateful, I try to move forward but how do I move forward when I don't know is going to befal me. Every attempt at moving forward fails becasue if I move forward I gain power and threatened the narcissist.

      Unless someone takes my story to the media or I have a fairy god mother I am not going to be able to get help with this on my own. I need someone to be a witness who has status and how can I meet them.

      My injury that my ed husband inflicted on me was taking me down every night by behind he would come up and take his left arm and place it around my neck and he would choke me untill I passed out and somethines the strangulation almost killed me my 3 1/2 year old daughter saved me every night she said for three and a half years my ability to write and be suscint and spell correctly has gone from exceptional to laughable. How can you get your point across if you cant write and explain. My fear is so overwhelming I almost never leave my house.

      I pray for death. but I promised my daughter i would stay for her. She gives me little time, she's 20 and starting her life. I wasn't around my mom but I needed her and enjoied the time I spent with her. My mom had a wide social sircle. Oh and no social support system is a death in itself. Social death is worse than bodily death.

      I had to rite. I feel like I'm putting a message in a bottle. I live in Huntington Beach CA and My name is Sue leczkowski, and ned help, lots of help, I need someone who has power to beliee in me and to more importantly have the desire and be a phylinthoropic help the underdog and fix people attitude. people only care about themselfes and say wow how sad anything but lets help.

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      Angry Chair 

      5 months ago

      Been dealing with this situation for somewhere between a year and 4 years. The reason I put it that way is because from the time the relationship started until now I don't really know when all of this really bad stuff started to take place. I can pinpoint it about a year-and-a-half ago when she actually left but it was so bad before that and knowing what I know now it really started months or years before that exact time but that's where it really kicked in.

      I was with a female that right up front showed me what she was and I stupidly ignored the signs. I saw what she was saying about her ex and knowing it wasn't true never thinking she was going to do the same thing to me at some point because it's a part of her MO. And her being so good at this and manipulating me so easily and keeping me so unfocused with so many different things going on all the time I just learned to ignore things until the point that I could'nt ignore them any more.

      Once I was cornered financially and stood up for myself she decided to leave. But I didn't know until at least six months later that she has started a smear campaign probably a good six months before she left. So obviously by the time I found out about this her stories had stuck. I always wondered why people were ghosting me and all these other things were going on that didn't make sense. But being stuck with a home and financial issues herself and her family members caused me and left me with along with the lies saying that I left her with these things even though I'm the one here paying for this stuff and everyone can see that it pretty much left me with no one to turn to. She also did the usual where she moved on with someone and put it all over her social media to rub it in knowing everyone was going to tell me about it.

      My nearest family member is 1000 miles away so now I had no one to turn to. I still hadn't put it all together until spending time off from work being disabled looking into narcissistic abuse and figured out that each step they take is exactly what I went through.

      Here I am a year-and-a-half after she left feeling just as bad if not worse as I did when I was going through these things with her. Because of all the psychological torture she was doing behind the scenes and having all her flying monkeys do I now know that none of those people were ever my real friends anyway so I don't need them in my life. And I don't need her in my life but the things she did while she was with me and the things she did afterwards not only destroyed my social life and reputation but it left me stranded 1000 miles away from anyone that cares about me because of all the financial burden that's all in my name left on me that she told everyone isn't true. Even going as far as to saying that she pays my bills for me so I feel stuck in a state with no family no friends left to speak of a job I only have to pay for all the stuff she's left me with and the fact that she was a bartender so we drank and partied all the time.

      And that's the only thing I've had to turn to. Drinking and listening to music alone at home. I can't go out on that social scene anymore because she made sure that people would be confrontational and even downright violent with me with her lies. The thing is I hate drinking. It's boring to me. I hate doing it. It makes me feel like crap but it's literally the only thing that keeps me from completely losing my mind. Every interest I had before her died while I was with her as if she intentionally made those things happen knowing she could leave me this way in the end with nothing. I'm just not interested in anything anymore and I don't feel like there's any reason to go on since I don't enjoy anything anymore. I'm never happy. I can't even think of the last time I was excited about anything. And if something really good did happen to me I now have no one to share it with including even one single friend because they all turned their backs on me. The only things I have are the two cats she left with me that she ironically only moved in with me for I found out recently just so she could get them away from her ex. Along with all her crap she left in my house trying to make me believe that she was just visiting home for a while when she never had any intention of coming back. I'm glad she didn't come back but it doesn't change the fact of everything else that's happened that she intentionally made happen to try to ruin what little bit of a life I still had after her.

      It is a very very dark path to walk down and even though you know it's psychological and isn't really physical other than the financial part it still feels as if there is something physically trying to put you into the ground permanently. I would suggest anyone that sees these signs in a relationship get out as soon as possible because the longer you wait the worse it's going to be in the end. You have to deal with these things that even once that person's gone & they seem even worse than when they were right next to you. They are going to take all their darkness in their lives and put it all off on you for you to deal with and in return they're going to take the good parts about you. You are going to be stuck dealing with it. It's just simply not something you can just get over and get back to the person you were before them because it just doesn't work that way. They take that part of you for themselves and leave you with all their bad qualities. It is something you're going to be stuck dealing with for a long time if not permanently until you're unrecognizable to yourself.

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      Help me 

      5 months ago

      My dad has done this to me and my mom. Mostly my mom. He brainwashed us to send him explicit pictures in return for money. I’m just now understanding the degree of brainwashing he did to us. The big problem now is the police are involved and I don’t even know what is the truth or what to tell them. Me and my mom tried to tell them the truth. They believed us but then the next day said we are “story tellers” I don’t understand what’s going on and I don’t know if we did something wrong or has he brainwashed us to think that. And now the police won’t even hear us out. I don’t understand!!! Is it our fault?

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      Rulikeme-2 

      5 months ago

      Ronny K I just read your story. During a court appointed therapy session, the psychiatrist told me that just because my husband read graphic stories of raping babies “Does not make him a bad father!”

      I think that was the day I lost all hope.

      She suggested to the court that he was the most suitable candidate for custody. After a nightmare of a story I’m too exhausted to tell we never went to court and I signed my rights as a parent over. I did it because I lost all hope and I knew if ANYTHING went my way he would have me killed. I considered that it would be in my children’s best interest to have me alive even if it was minimal contact. I know I sound like a monster of a mother but if you were in my shoes at the time you would get it. Anyone judging me right now has no idea what this kind of abuse does to you. The horrors of what was done to us is so insidious. No words to express. I can’t imagine any pain greater than this. Always wondering if they are okay. They keep his secrets just as well as I did. They have no idea they are being abused just as I didn’t know for all of those years. I sang his praises to EVERYONE. Looking back I have no idea why I did. Brainwashing. It HAS to be. All these years later I’m still trying to deprogram myself. When I catch myself realizing that I don’t really believe something I have been passionately for for so long it’s like being hit in the head and takes awhile for me to collect myself. Guess who I tell? NOONE!!! As you know....The worst thing you can do is tell someone. Unless you have a support system. Unfortunately all my family is dead now. My parents, brother etc.... “My” family consists of my children and “I” protect them as best I can. I CERTAINLY don’t tell them any of this. This page is the first one I have found in years that sums my experience up the best. Is anyone like me, meaning that years later it’s just too exhausting to speak of the horrors? For anything to make sense I would have to begin in the year 1995 to present day. I can barely get through the day keeping myself appear together. There’s no energy left for anything else.

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      Rulikeme-2 

      5 months ago

      Oh PAHLEEZE

      What you wrote sounds exactly what I can say. It’s been 10 years since he decimated my life and I still stay at home only to go to work. Not a moment goes by that I don’t worry about my children but if I said one word to anyone my children and myself would pay severe consequences. I’m alone. I think people think “she’s the crazy one” (well I still get told that someone said this of me) I have to let them believe it. I can’t go to my children’s school because it would be suiside. I can’t complain that he alienates me because of the same reason. I can’t tell my children the truth because I can’t put more of a burden on them than they already bear. They are still young teens. Once they get old enough to make their own decisions and if they ask me for help.....he will simply have me killed. NOONE is aware of this and if I voiced this to anyone I’m sure I would be “placed” in a mental institution or wind up dead. Our legal system can’t help us. We have no voice. He is so charming, powerful and wealthy. Me? My parents just happened to pass away 5 months before I was “discarded”. And yes I’m well aware that I was “crazy” during that time but what SANE person wouldn’t be? I have found people just don’t want to get involved when I’m up against someone such as himself. Like you I won’t start listing all of the malignant things he has done. I will say he had a 5 year discard plan that was done without me knowing ANYTHING. I just knew something was wrong but couldn’t make sense of it. From what I read from your post I’m sure you can understand that not many people would listen to anything I have to say without thinking I am the destructive one. I try to stay positive. I try to stay sane. I live one hour to the next trying to appear okay. I think I pull it off for the most part. Around people who don’t really know my situation....what they don’t know is how hard it is and how I’m either crying silently with a smile on my face or completely numb...with a smile on my face. Which of course makes me feel manipulative like he is so I have guilt over that. Thanks for reading this. Anyone who did. It helps just knowing someone in the world could relate. I’m sorry if you do but ....pretty sure you need to know that too. The things they do are so unbelievable! Years ago when I did confide in someone I would omit SOOO much just because it was that insane and just so unbelievable. Peace to everyone out there who is going through anything like this.

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      Lauren Eleanor Carson 

      5 months ago

      You explained my situation perfectly.

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      barnettmona@gmail.com 

      5 months ago

      how is that possible nobody can delete forever internet sources all can be brought on surface.. how about authoritys?

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      Jimmy 

      5 months ago

      My sister is like this so bitter and angry she wants me dead. By injection every month I have no choice to take it. It's the depo is at extreme high dosage and by law anything over 12 mg is not safe it' cuts my breathing I complained to the social worker and nothing they are not listening I can't handle the injection and they don't care. I am due again this month. My sister is a social worker down Melbourne and has contacts. She was always jealous and bitter through out my life then I left home for the first time and now she contacted someone in another state I don't think I will survive the next injection my sister is a psychological twisted I am not sleeping the injection due to my research raises heart disease and bowel disease my father died of bowel disease now she wants to knock me off

    • Oh PAHLEEZE profile image

      Oh PAHLEEZE 

      6 months ago

      This is the saddest story that nobody ever believed? 24 years with an absolute hideous malignant narc. Covert and genius. I’m not smart enough to outsmart him. Or brave enough to stand up to him. He has huge annual blood drives for sick children. Pillar in the community. My husband is a technology GENIUS. and I actually found all his online disordered perverse online behavior/other life on accident. All the abuse financial, emotional, and all things except physical (he’s too smart to be that stupid) it never occurred to me that he’s cheated?! I just thought he was relentlessly beyond cruel to me. All the while a girlfriend since 2013. And I’m stuck with no way out. He denies me the right to be sad. Or even cry. It’s grounds for punishment if I don’t keep positive and up beat. How sick is THAT? I’m not going in to what all the punishments entail. I can’t stand the sight of him. It’s like forced to hold hands with the devil. It’s so covert and should be criminally prosecuted. However I’m the crazy person he “adores”. To the public? He’s, a good guy to love and take care of a mentally impaired wife. BARF. He’s the most handsome man (he was a model/actor when I met him) and we live in a very nice area. I don’t blame people who CANNOT believe he’s the POS he is. I realize how it all comes across. I can see it looking from the outside looking in. It’s frustrating as hell.

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      Gregory Lyndon Bridges Jr. 

      6 months ago

      Look .. I know what all of yall are going through. I have been dealing with this same type of abuse amd harrassment since july 4th 2016 and still dealing witj it right now at this very moment as of 8:48 sat march 23 2019. Gangstalked, lied to , made fun of , lied about and character assassination attempts and claims on my life have all made me a very paranoid and untrusting person. I have no girlfriend,friends, or family. I live alone in a weekly motel and have no job no money no good outlook on life and havent had sex in 3 years. Im sick of life and people talking about what they dont know. Repetitive daily trash talking about me is constant. People ive never met talk about me amd say underbreath comments and shit talk. They are a bunch of by proxy pussies that dont have they guts ,nuts ,or clit to show up or shut up. Bring me money make amends and be done. But they want legal action instead so now im forced to deal with it until i get someone of authority to help and believe me on whats going on. . Im a targeted individual and im stronger than these bitch ass motherfuckers. Maybe not physically because im no body builder but mentally im way above their skill level and intellect. Good luck.

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      Laura Jones-Turner 

      6 months ago

      Best explanation Of what no one Believes and there is NO HELP!

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      Signe Minsker 

      6 months ago

      It must be a delight to offenders to know that the more you ask for help in this World the less knowone is gonna help you, atleast in Dk and... And the more you come across as the crazy person you were set up to be. I am a public scandale in the most “ civilized” country in The World. Both “ parents” were/ are psychopaths and dragged me, and bullied me, arround the most “ civilized country in the world” useing the police, the system, friends neighbours, and even stuffing me in a self help cult, claiming I am crazy bullying me out of housing and out on the streets again and again. I have probably written this a million times but doing it again. It can only get worse

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      Deborah 

      6 months ago

      This entire article describes my life. I feared life, not death. For those of you who don't believe or understand this kind of abuse, it is very real. I am in recovery now. It's been approximately 2+ years. It never goes away.

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      Burnette 

      6 months ago

      No one will help me with the privacy violation I'm experiencing finding out I've been spied on by devices in my home for years planted by the landlord & kept a secret for years and no police help their involved & family too, animals have more rights than me, community gangstalking & no help in the world

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      Randy 

      6 months ago

      This is exactly what I am expeariancing. Started in 2015 by individuals with veteran/ corporate connections turning everyone against me with pathetic organized stocking where ever I go. They notify law enforcement while I’m traveling saying they are concerned for me. Once I am to my destination then the stalking,intimidation begins. I have been threatened with pit bulls, vehicles pull out in front of me and lunge at me at intersections. People of veteran oriented men there wives relatives and corporate connections. My rv and truck have been bugged. The latest is visiting my daughter for Xmas. The Narcissist I call him has infiltrated her boy friend his father and step mother and looks like my daughter also. Pathetic mess.

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      Ruthiejo McMahon 

      6 months ago

      Very good article but I am extremely disturbed by the image of a noose. Lynching could never be considered by your definition of abuse.

      Pernicious Abuse

      It goes unrecognized but it exists.

      It exists on an extremely covert level.

      It happens behind the scenes without anyone even being aware of what the problem is; the real problem.

      Lynching was anything but covert. Please change picture. Awful comparison.

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      Brian feringa 

      7 months ago

      Need help asap!!!! My situation started 3 years ago with attempted murder on me ! Poisoned & ran over , left for dead ! Couple weeks of intensive care & very serious injurys from head to toe ! Front back & sides ! Now crippled and living in motels and truck, my life is completely desroyed ! Lost everyone & everything i love ! Jealous buis. Partner stold all accounts ,cash, while i was dying( he thougt) he then started slander and girl and other criminals joined in, then informants lead by state local & federal law enforcement continue to try to set me up & alander and terrorize me !!! Help from any one!! Also my sluggard brother in law is. Illegally spying on me and giving bad info to authoritys!!!! Why !!! You get info from the very ones who hate and kill & desroy!!! Dumb ass !! I have 7 days a week for 30 yrs .... I am no criminal!!! I try to stop pushers & robbers etc

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      Brian feringa 

      7 months ago

      Wow! Exactly my situation!! Every word of it ! 3 years of this from organized crime , tom sokoloski, crystal suttorp, tommy & mandy(half moon lake ) & more , have destroyed me & my good name with everyone i love! Since murder attempt by poisoning & running me over with jeffs nissan truck or crystals car , left me for dead & by some miracle i am alive but crippled and alone living on the run & law enforcement with criminal informants , continue to set me up! Steal my goods and meds! I have lost over $100,000.00. Of very hard earned money woking 7 days aweek for 30 yrs ! Now they want to finish me off!!! Heip please !!!! Anyone!!! Im no criminal!!!

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      Learning to be a person a 

      7 months ago

      I was married to all of these persons for 28 yrs. On top of it he didn't have normal temporal lobe activity due to a surgery long before I met him. He had no emotions and only mimicked those around him because there was no sense of self. At first I thought he was just quirky. Little did I know until the last 6 yrs he lived a double life I was completely unaware of. He abused, tortured the kids and I, spent us into oblivion, stalked, liked underaged girls and every sort of horror you can imagine. He gas lighted me to death. I was'nt aware of what was happening to me. I lost myself as a person and my whole life became a foxhole. Always waiting for the next devastating bomb to drop. I gave up everything I liked and did. I became his caretaker and a referee between my children and him and keeping myself as undetectable as possible so as to not bring wrath upon me as much as possible. Which of course doesn't work. And that was my life. I started having symptoms like not being able to drive, go into stores etc. I was eventually hospitalized and diagnosed with PTSD . After I found out the entire truth about my husband I couldnt believe it. Then he dropped his persona completely and I realized I never knew this person..he was horrific to an extent I could hardly bare it. He behaved as if he had never known me or our children practically. I am writing this in duress because he recently committed suicide. We were attacked by people we didnt even know ( his double life people). Everyone thought he was the greatest person in the world and he, unbeknownst to us trash talked us to these people with lies and lft us to the dogs in his death. He wanted divorce so he could continue on with his lifestyle and when he realized I had become serious about divorce...he got agitated. No more me there to clean up his financial messes or take his abuse. I guess he just figured it was the end of the way he wanted to live and that was that. I go between sadness, anger, fear, regret. Im in the throw of all of this as I speak. These type of people do exist. I dont care how intelligent you are you can be brainwashed/gaslighted. This kind of life will cause PTSD. These stories aren't just on a tv show or movie. It's real. The after effects for the victims are horrendous and lifelong. He is dead and his sins died with him. I just had to say my piece because people need to be aware that the information in this article is real and the victims are real.

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      debraroncancio@gmail.com 

      7 months ago

      I just read a story stating your husband/doctor had you be a stay home mommy and give up your nursing license. Don't know what state you are in. Texas laws , states you can receive DISABILITY SPOUSAL MAINTENANCE if married 10 years, 20 years is more. Proving marriage is not healthy causing more harm to you. Get out and make yourself a beautiful person. Today i am ... Tomorrow I will be the best person to myself and other's in my life.

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      debraroncancio@gmail.com 

      7 months ago

      We come to this site and speak of our abuser. Word of advise, do not label or give your abuser a title. Psychological abuse is a subject that no attorney, no police, no judge will accept. You have to approach the abuse with doctors showing physical abuse and police reports. Keep all records and be prepared to keep yourself safe at all times. Don't take medication bcuz you can't handle the anxiety. Get focused. You take medication, you might find yourself being labeled. Once you are free from all drugs, you will see that authorities listen. Took me 7 years to realize and 6 years for doctor's to prove my husband, my abuser is the one who was drugging me and the FDA to acknowledge Ativan is a serious psychotic drug. I have 21 years of abuse and stories to tell. I sent my husband, my abuser a reminder of our 21 anniversary and to let him know that I'm going to expose him on YOU TUBE. This is how I stop by husband, my abuser. One message at a time will slowly show up on YOU TUBE. Using his real name Pete Roncancio. Thank you for this site.

    • sparkster profile imageAUTHOR

      Marc Hubs 

      7 months ago from United Kingdom

    • profile image

      Mark 

      7 months ago

      Can't find your book.

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      Ronnie K 

      7 months ago

      I have been mentally abused by my female mft psychotherapist for almost three years.

      She used covert psychological coercive tactics ambient abuse, gaslighting, mind games.

      She told me during a session on 3/17/16 that after asking questions about my sex/love life and finding out then I had twelve unwanted years celibate that I had a "problem" that was dangerous knowing thirteen years of psychotherapy what most of my life story was.

      So she explained that it's not normal to go that long without sex and that I had MDD aside from PTSD and outcome for men without my history would be normal resulting in murder and or suicide.

      She turned my life upside down that appointment date 3/17/16.

      She insulted, shamed, blamed, emasculated me.

      She told me then that 23 years non recidivist, 20 years clean and sober, twelve years celibate didn't make me good person.

      According to her I had no empathy, compassion for some deceased, homeless neighbors that didn't know me and deliberately blocked drains in nextdoor shower and bathroom resulting in cat having to be euthanized and damage of thousands of dollars of belongings.

      She said I didn't live in reality saw everything black and white thinking that I saw the world through the Catholic Churches eyes.

      I judged wasn't good person didn't trust people. Morals no good Ethics better.

      Asking about and why not dating on SSDI living in downtown SF skid row off market SRO hotel room building changed to wet homeless shelter.

      When explaining with frequent toxic angry woman on Craigslist she went insane and started a TED talk about Sex Positivity Healthy Sex Life.

      First she said I want an Ethical Slut no such thing. Next a retarded self disclosure she was Bisexual Polyamorous Married Mother Unapologetic Proud Slut.

      She said "We" don't have to choose between men and women we can have both it's not greedy. Don't ever Slut Shame.

      Bragging about going against conventions and telling me that going by what is right and the rules didn't make me good person that I wasn't and didn't trust people. She tried to sugar coat her disgusting lifestyle with virtous terminology Compersion and Abudant Love.

      She lectured me on what women need and want then gave me incorrect assumptions like I wasn't good at sex with women which she wouldn't and never will know. Then advice on masturbation technique and porn tastes she was stupidly off target. Then nonsense about men at adult bookstore gloryholes being married and wives won't give them oral or men who missed on a date. No they were gay every single one of them fun for them hell for me I am Straight.

      She told me to magically get dates without saying anything about not working disability etc then asap have sex to determine if sexual chemistry and compatibility is match because sex is too important for good relationship. After bedding down many when I find her get her to read ETHICAL SLUT and TURN HER OUT BECAUSE SHARING IS CARING.

      She claimed Active mindful listening thirteen years into psychotherapy and talked to me like she never listened to me never dating going to dances or knowing how to talk to women or flirting then after no empathy or compassion she talked to me like I was a dirtbag Pimp. She said I could talk to her about anything and I was thinking she is out of her goddamn mind why would I ever want to see her again let alone talk to her she is a scumbag.

      She emasculated me knowing and admitting so in 11/18 appointment that in 8/03 I told her they put me down in mental health records in Boston as bisexual by activity same-sex encounters for money not by desire(100% straight)

      She said, ”A real man isn't ashamed or disgusted by his sexuality A real man pursues his sexual desires'. She is dirtbag she knew I wasn't going to Catholic Church since leaving after comfirmation 1978 and that I said to her first couple of years I feel guilty not going and praying and feel like I will go to Hell when I die and she used her role to weaponize my weaknesses and vulnerability against me scumbag she is for that.

      She was talking telling me I missed out on life no resilience and sat out not taking risks that I wasn't alive just surviving. Compared me to other clients only lived on skid row couple years and got jobs girlfriends stopped therapy after two years and went through worse than me.

      She went on again about the virtuous Mother Theresa like life of cheating whores and sensed I wasn't OK with her BS.

      She said it's just sex and I realized beginning of session it was life and death literally if I didn't want to murder and or suicide I needed to end unwanted Celibacy.

      Middle of appointment sex was too important the most important part of relationship and near ending that I am not impressed with whores and perverts it's just sex to a client molested during weekend visation with step brother my age who suicided in 4/07 and older step brother who molested us both early adolescence..

      I never had girlfiend, dating, dances proms etc.

      Sixteen witnessed Promiscuous girl fifteen being urinated in the face and bottles shoved in her privates

      Early adulthood needing money for eight balls powder cocaine because mother opened bank statement and I needed her cosignature to withdraw cash she found out I got cash at atm early morning hours like 2am for three to five hundred dollars at a time told her for coke and hookers in combat zone.

      I didn't want to be in Organized Crime, Deal Drugs, Armed Robbery, Grand Theft, Burglary etc so hustling I thought didn't harm but when choosing lesser evil it is still evil and I blew up on two women I loved my life was over at 28 years old.

      So during ST Patrick's Day appointment with REIKI and Psychic Empath healer MFT Psychotherapist she had explained monogamy isn't practical or natural. Everybody gets tired of the same thing. Everyone cheats this is a better honest way.

      She explained as a Zen Buddhist she was Enlightened and Joyful Blissful and has fulfillment.

      She told me Enlightenment is there is No God No Devil No Heaven No Hell No such thing as Sin.

      Yet everyone in New Age/Occult is religiously fanatical about same beliefs and when violating God's Laws in Deuteronomy Ch 18 V 9 as they aquire Clairvoyance Clairaudience Clairsentience and engage is Sexual Perversions and degenerate lifestyles.

      So I ended celibacy end of April 2016 not my desire but same sex encounters at adult bookstore gloryholes and never received treatment for "problem" I had been told I had MDD no therapy no meds then gaslighting moving appointments to ground floor where dangerous untrustworthy clients are seen. Different offices. Moving days of appointments times.

      Ignoring my unhappiness negative feelings about being "bisexual" and not listening.

      9/29/17 relapsed propositioned for prostitution by senior citizen from12 Step and knew my history from first day sobriety 7/03/96 and was well groomed clean shaven well dressed paid for oral and had filthy stinking genitalia and diabolical laughing about it. I smoked $4K of crack cocaine between 9/29/17 and 1/15/18 so called friend ruined thirty day clean so I started over 2/17/19 have one year clean from crack cocaine 22 years and seven months abstinence from alcohol had 22 years anniversary abstinence from alcohol 7/3/18.

      Five years plus no smoking cigarettes. Using small amounts smoking Crystal for harm reduction as the mental abuse from Psychotherapist and Psychiatrist he was new only four years on my case. He stopped messing with me in 9/18 and I let him have it middle of this month over pushing LGBT on me for two years and seven months always telling me any negative or bad feeling is because I am bisexual and self loathing and biphobic and homophobic any time I try to say anything he goes there and pushes romantic gay relationship is what I need.Recently Psychotherapist moved appointments back to ground floor ruining Xmas then New Year's Eve Appointment over dramatic performance to lie about her terminology in her Polyamorous marriage. She claimed to never heard of word Compersion before and didn't know what it means that I brought it up. I almost walked to Golden Gate Bridge to jump after she lied the way she did. I liv

    • profile image

      Doug 

      7 months ago

      Learning about the unbeleivable truth that occured in our relatationship for the first two years, she had drugged me the nights where she wanted to go out, and do god knows what, she used melatonin, or ghb, or any kind of sleeping pills. Dozens if times i would be just trying to enjoy the day or evening and id find myself completely baffled at why i couldnt keep my eyes open and my head was spinning, id fall aleep and wake up about 12-15 hours later and having a hard time remembering the day before or anything for that matter, i wasnt sure what was happening to me, she had convinced me that it was normal and i was just tired, well, i found out my ex, who was a health care aide, suppose to be taking care of a def and blind lady, for 12 hour shifts on weekends, well, she had lost her job for havign someone else over at the house while we were dating, and she refused to admit anything to me but she was a major sex addict and always wanted it from me, and we started dating i was 23 and she was 21, and she was nice, had her own place, a job, and nice things, she had just broken up with her ex, and when i stared staying with her she let him stay at her house for a week after they brokeup, but what i had noticed about him is that he would go to work then come home and sit in the basement and pretty much stare at the wall like he was empty, and he couldnt even look me in the eyes or talk to me, i though he was weird but now i realize that she had like taken his soul or something, and well, she had this way of playing this card where because she was adopted and her mother that raised her, tried her best but, my ex was a difficult one, overdosed on a bottle of ridalin at age of 3 and lived, she was diagnosed with adhd, and had a sister 10 years older than her, inwhich they never bonded as sisters, her mother then had both her legs amputated when she had quit smoking making it hard to take care of my ex when she was 14, she had a hard time in school and had to change schools, and was a trouble maker, she had her friends but i beleive them to all be sociopaths in their own ways, so then she went to school for healthcare aide and always claimed that she wanted to be a nurse that was her dream and then like well, i supported us and paid her rent after she lost her job, and i had a addiction to painkillers i was very close to kicking on my own but when we got together we started using together and it bcame out of hand and quickly she got me using fentanyl and i had started using meth, and had a spiritual awakening in which i was going though a life changing beleifs change, and she had completely used that to her power in telling other that i am schizo and bi polar and abusive and im the fucked up one who is responsible for her losing our place and all our stuff to drugs and stuff, then tell me i got her addicted and threatened me all the time, she would drive me to the point where id be shaking and becuase i am extremely empathic and a virgo, i am so kind and generous and convinced myself that i loved her so much and that it must not be just her and then i became super depressed and she seen that and found so many ways to crush me, when i needed her the most she would deny me anything, such as a hug or a nice compliment, her argument would be no you dont desereve a hug because your demanding it, and she would deny me any sort of sympathy or compassion especially if i needed it thats when she would deprive me, then once her addiciton she understood how to get things for herself because shes a good looking girl then well behind my back the games played hard, never once did she ever tell me the truth and because i never knew about sociopathism that i beleived another human couldnt possibly look me in the eyes when im begging for her to just tell me the truth and that ill accept her for the way she is, and that if she loves me truly and 100% isnt cheating on me like so many ppl told me about her just doing crazy desperate things for drugs and tell my ffriends and ppl never to tell me, and she will hook up with them anytime as long as i never find out, she convicned everyone that knew about her private life that i should never ever find out under any circumstance because i love her to much and that if i find out ill commit suicide cause im mentally ill, so whenever id go to breakup with her on peoples here say, and i never could get actual proof, but enough was enough, and she would find a way to make me feel sorry for her and that people are fucked anf they are trying to ruin our relationship cause they are jelous that i have such a loyal and faithful girlfriend and wouldnt sleep with these guys so thats why they are saying this.... well no matter how much i knew anything, i couldnt beleive myself because if i had any chance of being wrong then i take that upon myself quite seriously, with her i found i always needed to go be alone bymyself almost daily because she would drain me and drive me to insanity, so i would go to a few spots to watch the stars and i was big into watching sunrises and sunsets in which i would invite her but she would never want to come with me, so then when i went to detox when i was ready to quit using drugs she stayed home in my parents basements and she was suppsoed to be getting clean to and like i went for 6 days and i get home walk in the bedroom and there was needles all over the place and she was such a wreck, she was sick, and like depleted of like everything, so then she drove me to relapse and i had stayed up the next 7 nights, and had been on such a bad flail, in which i was like spasming, and withdrawling and needed to sleep but the drugs were like just twisting me, so i got 40$ worth of heroin, and 50$ worth of meth, and had put them right in front of her into two syringes, in which she always, notices and demands her half, and this time she was talking to her old friend who she used to sleep with and he was at my house, and she had me destroyed and she let me leave with the two needle containing alot more than enough to overdose me lethally, and i had left and went and made a sale for 50$ got tim hortons, and i had texted her about 20 mins after i left and said, i cant take this shit, and well some other sociopathic type friends had stolen 2 new trucks from my farm family and guns and i was getting blamed, so i was not in a good place in my head, i was so hurt by the fact that people could treat me so horribly and when i just only try to help and find solutions and give and give and honestly give that, that was it for me, i had made the decision that if anyone cares enough about me then maybe i wouldnt die that night, well i waited in my spot out in the field for 3 hours for her to reply and she didnt, so i cried and took one injection thinking this is gonna scary, it hit me and i immedietly felt my whole body start fading to black and then an extreme rush making my heart pound really hard and fast had kept me awake in a very drunk like state, where i was wobling around the drivers seat and she had called me and i was crying and i put it on face time and told her that i was going to make her watch as i inject the second needle because then she might realize that this is what she has done to me and when i needed her by my side whenevr i had seperate problems she was never there, and then maybe she might change herself, and i was dead set, already borderline overdosing, i am trying to get the second needle into a vein and struggling a little thinking to myself if i hit this, this might really be it, im not one to like not go through with something, once i crossed that point yeah i mean i woulda done it thinking to myself ill do half and then another half if im still no overdosed, and right before i could hit the needle a cop opens m car door and commands drop the needle and i fell on the ground and he arrested me then soon realizing it was a suicide attempt he called an ambulance, i blacked out and when i woke up in the ambulance there was blood all over the floor, the emt said he missed the IV, also the cop shouldnt have found me,i beleive it was the work of god, and my exgf sociopathism was satans attempttostopme

    • profile image

      Bre 

      8 months ago

      The abuse of malignant narcissistic mother and a covert father that works along side her,duing her dirty work has left me sick,hurting and taking my soul.pure evil and by the time u figure it out leaves u paranoid and damage done to the brain,i couldn't process anything after leaving,i would be walking thru a grocery store crying and not relize it.As a parent i cant even figure why my own parents robed me of my soul,i guess ill never understand.the crazy making,the lies,keeping me confused,and enjoying it.My mothers wide open eyes blank when confronted with no words.When did it start,when do you think hey lets fuck out daughter up? Ive cut ties and havent went to bed once since without crying,i dont know who i am anymore and cant shake it.Evil evil! !

    working

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