Psychological Murder: Death By Covert Abuse

Updated on March 21, 2018
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Marc Hubs is a writer/researcher on mind, science, and conspiracy. He is the author of "Know Your Enemy: Reflections of NPD."


Pernicious Abuse

It goes unrecognized but it exists.

It exists on an extremely covert level.

It happens behind the scenes without anyone even being aware of what the problem is; the real problem.

No evidence of it is left behind and no-one has ever been convicted of it yet in reality, what I will term pernicious abuse is something which can and does have a devastating effect, not just on the victim, but also within society. Pernicious abuse can lead a person into carrying out acts such as covert psychological murder, or perhaps even covert psychological manslaughter - something which is very real, insidious in nature but unfortunately unrecognized and virtually unquestioned.

Psychological murder can take many forms but the type I'm really referring to is of a covertly narcissistic and/or sociopathic nature. It may be too difficult for some people to be able to comprehend but it does happen and I've seen it happen.

Narcissistic/Sociopathic (narcopathic) abuse takes place when a narcissist or sociopath (or narcopath) attempts to convince someone who has discovered their unbelievably shallow secrets, gradually over time, that they are crazy and proceeds to manipulate them into keeping quiet or to ultimately face their wrath. They use techniques such as crazy-making, character assassination and gaslighting in order to get their victim(s) to question their own sanity.

They generally do so by ostracizing the victim while continuing to act out their part, expertly hiding their truly outrageous behaviour, whilst successfully having everyone around them fooled - everything is done to appease those around them while their manipulative and controlling tactics take place behind the scenes, outside of people's awareness. The victim is forced to question their own sanity because they don't realize that they are the victim because everything done to manipulate them is done outside of their conscious awareness.

The longer time goes on and the longer the victim tries to do something about it, the more severe the abuse becomes. The narcissist/sociopath has already built an army of unwitting abusers who all help to drive the victim crazy. The long-term consequences of these actions can be a devastating, soul crushing and reality-shattering path to be led down. Of course, there are many other types of abuse that can have just as damaging and severe long-term consequences. However, psychological forms of abuse such as gaslighting, mental rape, slander, defamation and distortion campaigns of a person's reputation are done so covertly and expertly that they are very rarely identified early enough.

The abuser, when carrying out these covert tasks, is faceless and undercover.

Narcopathic Abuse

Victims of this type of abuse are commonly left with no resources they can use to escape the situation; the abuser has stolen their finances, their identity and has turned the victim's own family and friends against them, due to the malicious web of lies and deceit that have been woven. The victim is trapped with no way out... or at least that is what they are made to believe.

Although victims go through what can only be described as being dragged through hell backwards, narcissistic and sociopathic abuse via heightened communication is so difficult to pick up on the human radar of perception that the victim is usually left scratching their head wondering "is it me?"

They have been made to believe that they are the problem. Such abusers are so shallow that they may cheat on their partner on significant occasions such as valentine's day or while they are away at a funeral - at times when the victim will least expect it.

Not only that, they will do it with the person the victim suspects the least.... time and time again.

In many cases the victim may turn to drugs or alcohol as a means of escape. The stress they are forced to endure can be so severe that if they don't find some kind of release in order to feel a sense of escape, they continue to build up with overwhelming tension, anxiety, emotional suffering and may develop an overactive mind which can literally drive them crazy - post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can soon follow. That's not to say that the drugs will either prevent it from happening or even slow the process down - they won't. They will only exacerbate the situation in the long run.

Psychological Murder

The abuser never quits abusing and the victim's self-esteem gets worn down to the core until they go through a process of devaluation, dehumanization and dissociation. The victim has been made to feel that they are nothing in this world, they now have nothing, they now have no meaning and nowhere to go and nobody wants them any more except for the narcissistic/sociopathic abuser who can now use the victim as their emotional/mental slave. The narcopath is now their God.

The process is so subliminal and it happens so gradually that it could take place over the course of ten or twenty or even thirty years or more. The victim knows that even if they did escape the situation the abuser would probably continue to ruin the rest of their life or future relationships anyway and in many cases after the partner has left, the abuser continues to drive them crazy gradually destroying their reputation, their life and their soul - often referred to as soul murder.

Eventually the victim may be left feeling suicidal but fear that others would see it as a selfish act. Additionally, they don't want others to be left picking up the pieces they left behind because they do feel real true genuine empathy. For this reason many victims believe they have no choice but to continue suffering the abuse and may feel that the damage is already done.

Some victims may ultimately decide to continue to pump as much alcohol or drugs into their system as they can. This way they can use it not only as a form of escapism but also to slowly kill themselves so that they can reach the point that they have to suffer the abuse no longer. Others may not turn to substance abuse but may end up suffering fatal medical issues as a result of the abuse alone which may potentially lead to death a result of pernicious abuse.

Some may have given up on their hopes of escape and may have just accepted things the way they are (conditioned into co-dependence) but unless they are an inverted narcissist, then the stress will eventually take it's toll. Stress is well known to cause a myriad of health problems, both mental and physical, many of which can be fatal.

Ultimately, the victim takes the knowledge of their covert psychological murder to the grave which forever remains a secret inside the mind of the abuser.

Questions & Answers

    © 2011 Sparkster Publishing


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        Asmrban8 20 hours ago

        This is something I'm super into..I feel like this happens to me all the time and has happened to me as long as I have been alive..everyone else is moving forward I'm the focal target of every type of criticism abuse moral analytic smear. I was even in an accident where I was almost killed as a child and as a result it enlarged the scope of narcissim and blanketed me with it leaving me accused of being a money hungry fiendishly greedy person. Leaving me no way yo survive in life seems to be the plot to this whole thing but covering that up by locking me inside or manipulating through media that I'm funny and intelligent leaves a chemical trail of brainwash as if I'm some kind of slug. I've heard the comparison it's a curse of the elephantom...where you are seen as a sluggard that memory and vision is your prison and you're a beast of burden who most likely will hurt others especially children since they're so associated with both young royals and circus entertainment jobs...told my near death experience is my memory of another life that I have lived many lives and I must wait to die to start a new life and this one is over for me. Any help or support I receive promotes jealousy or hate and even abuse and threats...I'm made to not be able to understand my self..I see my abilities and talents as narcissims and that I have false perceptions of reality as a whole...even as a weightlifter I'm told that I'm not as strong as I think and I will never grow or look good even that I may die or be killed so that I may not succeed by looks alone. I experience sabotage on various levels all the's like a movie..head aching put a bullet in my brain to stop it level of interference. It hates my sobriety which is pleasant and easy and I've oppositely been arrested and instutionalized for use of legal substances in my own home...I mean beer and cannibis and tobacco...I was told I was insane given labotomizers and poisoned various times by that side of the contingency and all that is supposed to suggest the smart people are on my side and the celebrity and political world is on thier side backing them and I'm just a Looney know nothing trying to smear them...I just get the hardest fights to fight ever and I'm beat...I wanna go to the beach and relax and instead I get homelessness at a beach and a mysterious suburn and it's supposed to suggest I still don't know I'm not gray colored with thick skin a tail and a trunk...the elephantom is really a rotten scalping of my being cast as a damaged apple rotten tomato Spud. I'm just a guy...and my brain seems to be what it is...a mush ball of ideas and images and not an id card..I get that it's not a mold...I'm not gonna have it work like that but it seems like it's been made into this open source conduit for legal aid and media system remote activity...I wanna be normal...I wanna stop being abused..and I don't wanna fight to do it...I'm doing everything right and my life and time is being wasted. I've had my past opportunities destroyed just so I could represent this futile and verifiably nonexistent contingency that's about as politically important as telling your sister to clean up her room...but with people being so irresponsible because they have managed to suceed...thier immaturity and flaws are obvious and easy to point to in saying my magnified maturity and lack of investment in real authority based employment have left me packed with complaints that people don't listen to me..they do..just to get the guru hudu I generate not to respond or respect me as a person at all...because that also means admitting my perspective ideas and ideals are valid and people just want to call me an egomaniac Manchurian luciferian idealist. I'm not..I just think that humanity is too conflicted to abide it's terms of love and morality and religion as well it's not prepared to handle it utopian plutonic submissions on love and peace in a free society to the extent it has propigated it. Spectral ecstacy is not something they are or were expecting to hurt or become a real option for want peace and love and to use a higher percentage of your brain in a safe body? We'll get ready for your hospital bed with your eyes rolled back in your head mouth thrown wide. Life is not what it is made out to be and that is psychotically being helped along...I look at the terms of insanity... doing something repetitively that Garner's the same result with thvsame effect....that's redundancy but we know that we change the term because we have simulated variety..I skip that and go to vibration or leverage or polarity..our universe is insane..And mutually inane...and we persist to balance the infertility of the ideal post death experience as life to promote we should be immortal to solve this status update we call an intellectual life...we need to be god but at least we could be mutated immortals if we can't become the president of the realms...sad..and simply as saucercraft suggestion as anything else. The answers are here so why are we abused because everyone's abusing themselves so they can see it or fighting to escape it and condemning or trying to kill via denial and ignorance that the questions are answered and its over? I wanna move me 10$ an hour and let me rest in my 500$ apartment in peace and prosperity with satisfaction.

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        Sparkster Publishing 37 hours ago from United Kingdom

        Many are being answered. The author (me) has also set up a support group on Facebook called N.A.R.C. - Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Centre.

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        Sparkster Publishing 37 hours ago from United Kingdom

        No, suicide is NOT an option. Build yourself a support network, do it quietly, join some support groups, speak to your doctor, pray - do anything and everything you can to get out of the situation.

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        HO 42 hours ago

        There's no way out from my family's house, by law (I'm a girl in Saudi). And I can't take it anymore. Is it true.. suicide is all that I got?

        Can anybody answer me please?

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        Layla 2 days ago

        It’s obvious no one intended to help with this article bc no ones being answered. They only want us to know what is happening and how there’s nothing we can do about it! God is the only way to effectively remove this from your head! Pray people God promises us his help if we can trust fully he will! Give it a try. What do you have to lose now? The devil can manipulate your.brain which means he can also manipulated evil people on earth to Carry out his work through actual humans. God says he will help. Try this look in the concordance of your bible, now look up the word that’s most on your brain. Read Gods instructions on how to overcome it! He sent instructions on how to beat evil on earth we just have a hard time believing it bc we cannot actually see the help, however soon you will if you don’t give up! It was my only choice other than death by an evil person! I refuse to allow them to win. All of God’s people are proven winners! What do you have to lose. It only takes faith and trust something our attackers worked hard at taking away yet cannot stop us from getting it back through the power of prayer and God! I feel victorious and can no longer be manipulated by these sick twisted Demond’s! I’ll help anyone I can so please when you see your completely out of options allow God and his people to help!

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        Shores sister 2 weeks ago

        This totally just answered my questions so now I can heal from the loss of my brother but I will be telling his abuser I know what u did n you will not get away with it!

        Thank you for writing this you just opened the door for me to heal!

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        JESSICA BROADEN 2 weeks ago

        I took myself to the hospital because I wanted to overdose on insulin and just end it all. But I can't because I can't leave my kids behind. What is described is exactly what is happening to me. As we speak he is texting me saying how aweful I am and staying me with accusations of everything he can. Ti have no idea what's real anymore and I can't defend myself anymore because it's pointless.. Hopefully I will die soon or figure out how to escape this. Hoping that while I'm here the hospital will help get me some help.

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        conni judson 2 weeks ago

        this horror is happening to me as I write this.....I am terrified.....are any of the above terms described legal terms?

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        Sparkster Publishing 2 weeks ago from United Kingdom

        There are support groups on Facebook where you can seek advice from others who have been or are going through the same. I started one called N.A.R.C. - Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Centre.

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        Mark Golledge 2 weeks ago

        Suffered this for 20+ years, who can you turn to when everyone is on their side?

        How can you prove it is happening?

        Pushed to the brink, choices are stay and continue taking it knowing that the same is happening to my disabled sister or leave her to fend for herself and live on the street? 3rd route is last resort but becoming more plausible by the hour.

        I have finally sussed the motive, if I can be bumped off they get my father's inheritance.

        Trouble is past substance abuse as a means of escape is easy to link to paranoia and even easier to brush under the carpet as the reason for taking your own life.

        Any and all advice/help would be appreciated because I'm running out of options.

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        Janelle 2 weeks ago

        I been living this for years in ak

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        Taryn Thompson 3 weeks ago

        I am so tired. I am being harassed day and night by means of a sadistic criminal behavior that is commonly called "Organized/Gang Stalking". Working as a live-in personal assistant for room and board for a Las Vegas small business owner, I have had my civil rights and privacy continuously violated by the means of constant torture and verbal abuse. I have been demeaned by sexually explicit statements regarding rape and child molestation daily by the live-in employees of the Dragon's Emporium,v an online Amazon Resale Business operating out of home in Las Vegas Nevada. They have speakers and cameras in order to allow them to electronically harass me with sexually explicit and demeaning statements and threats of violence by means of a sadistic stalking, commonly referred to as “Gang Stalking”.

        Gangstalking is an umbrella term describing a series of techniques utilized by a group to instill mental instability within a victim with the intent to discredit, sabotage, harass, extort and even drive a victim to suicide. A victim of gangstalking can have their reputation, credibility, careers, relationships and entire life put into ruins.

        Techniques such as mind games, perception manipulation, organized stalking, covert harassment, constant surveillance and possibly electronic harassment are used to push a victim to mental instability. The perpetrators of this crime follow, stalk, harass and torture me to cause emotional and mental harm and to silence me from reporting the abuse. I have reported the following abuses to the Las Vegas Metro Police Department in regards to these criminal activities; cyber-stalking (including internet spying, email spying and intercepting, password theft); privacy invasion (including telephone tapping, misdirecting and disconnecting, mail tampering and intercepting, and using surveillance cameras to video me in several stages of undress); forced homelessness; widespread vicious lies, threats of bodily harm, intimidation; including public ridicule, threats and sarcastic intimidation regarding my childhood trauma/rape. The stalkers have conspired to use electronic applications to violate my privacy and hire local thugs to follow me and threaten me. They have acted intentionally and recklessly, by stalking, threatening and harassing me in this outrageous and extreme fashion in order to cause me severe emotional distress.

        These people have intruded upon my solitude, without permission, they spy on me by means of hidden-cameras at my home and work. They have tried to disparage me and have used my name and likeness without permission online on websites such as Facebook to disclose salacious information about me publicly. They divulge offensive information that is baseless and untrue online regarding illicit drug-use while having their allies mock my childhood rape and trauma in public for sport. All of this has been done to present me in a false light and to misrepresent me in a way highly offensive manner by people who are without consciousness.

        Due to this unrelenting harassment and the accompanying threats, I suffer from sleep deprivation; severe migraines; extreme fatigue; and Tinnitus, (nuisance hearing of sounds induced by synthetically contrived voice transmission techniques to induce sleep deprivation). Due to the Online harassment and threatening behavior that has transpired over the web, computer spyware, the willful, malicious and repeated following and harassing there has been a severe disruption of my daily life, and violating of my civil rights. On March 12th at 2pm while sitting at my desk working I became very ill, nausea, and lost consciousness. Due in-part to the constant stress of sleep deprivation which lead to a viral infection and food tampering. The ;last thing that I ate or drank was coffee, made by a coworker, who has tampered with my food previously. I was unaware of losing consciousness until I was revived, apparently when i fell from the chair to see people standing around, looking unconcerned, if not guilty. No other employees thought to call for help as my eyes rolled back into my head suddenly or I became unresponsive and almost fell to the floor, as if they were truly aware of the poisoning. I called a Lyft for a ride to the ER and was diagnosed with a viral infection, dehydration, and vasovagal syncope. All the more reason that I need some legal authority to look into my constant complaints regarding my lack of civil and human rights that I have been making for the past 2 years to the Las Vegas Metropolitan and San Diego Police Departments.

        Currently I am being electrocuted and yelled at constantly. I fear for my life due to the abuse that I am constantly being forced to live under while I am homeless. I work for room and board, but instead of being provided with those amenities I am being tortured day and night. I am so exhausted that I pass out and am unable to keep down food. My heartbeat is now so damaged that I need to specialists from the constant torture as well as my ears and eyes. I have appointments set up with specialists but am not allowed to take time off to pursue the doctor's appointments. My rights to be happy, healthy, and free from abuse are deprived everyday, and no matter what I do there has been no help from any government agency.

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        CamiLot 4 weeks ago


        The 'Cause' Is Segmented, The "ALL" Isn't ALL INCLUSIVE.

        Presently, Victims of Covert Naropathic Abuse Have No Credibility

        and Therefore, No Voice.

        Pre-Therapy, We're The Victims of Traumatic Emotional Abuse, and Post-Therapy We're Survivors. IT'S THE ONLY CRIME IN WHICH THE ABUSER THRIVES AND SO MANY VICTIMS DIE.


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        CKstant 4 weeks ago

        This is for Gina who recently posted, and for everyone that my story mirrors.

        You will be ok again but you must get out and if you are or he is out, you must go no contact. I know that’s difficult because you describe what is trauma bonding. You, normal, empathic, and having emotional intelligence feel everything. So use your strengths you do have, cause you are still the same person and really have to put the work in to dig deep and bring yourself to the surface again.

        I know. I was on a 2.5 year living relationship with a narcissistic / pshychopath man. I didn’t know all it was until I entered much needed therapy. This is when the word abuse was dissected and the reality of what I endured was painful to admit. I went through the blame game on myself and still do. I’m diagnosed with PTSD and for the first time in my life am on medication for my mind. It was a subtle creep up and continuous abuse by way of isolation, humiliation, manipulation, lies, half truths, gas lighting, false blaming, financial control, criticism, sexual denial and further sexual put downs as in im just an over sexual person ( had sex maybe 10times the last 2 years), telling me I sucked at life, I, the reason he drinks and does cocaine and other drugs, the reason he goes out for nights on end or shows up after days of missing, never introduced me to any of his supposedly good friends( his harem of people who accept him) was everyday that I was on constant alert and ever wondering which version of him I would get...the loving man who seems to want to do nice things and get along, or the man under the influence of drugs and alcohol, or the sober man who was just mean and deceptive and controlling....eggshells at its best.

        I moved across country with his man, for an exciting chmage in life. Hindsight, it moved too fast... we moved in together within 4 months, then within 6 months I moved 2000miles away from all my friends and family that I identified with. That was the beginning of it all and I never knew it was coming.

        I knew something was off, always felt alone and disconnected being next to him in bed, on the couch, in the car. Was just internally on alert all the time.

        I received inconsistent reassurance of love and endearing words, all messing with my mind ...making m second my actions and thoughts of wanting to end this. I felt guilt for wanting to end it when he had just said he wanted to change. ( so many times). I hid his neglect and psychological abuse from my family and friends as I felt defeated, embarrassed and ashamed. I knew I was better than this and because he targeted me...a financially sound independent woman, educated, a mother ( son is grown and getting married this year)...a selfless woman who could make his life comfortable with my organization skills, my sweet and kind demeanor, he could live vicariously through me and put on a facade to the outside world, his family...and always turned it on matter what the always summed up in his mind that I was insecure, crazy, an over thinker, because he targeted me he knew he could and did twist my strong capable mind into conforming to him and consequently losing my own dignity and ability to maintain my true self.

        It can happen to anyone.

        The story is long, and I have a victim impact statement I sprite to the court describing my life of a constant interchange with a cruel and narcissistic man. We had arguements a lot, and should have had more but I became numb and just unresponsive after a while and just ate his lies, whether about his whereabouts or insults about me to me, and over time I lost myself.

        We had a final argument, heated with him being drunk and high, me sober foolishly trying to reason with him, was loud and volitale enough for the neighbors to call the police. Thank god they did.

        He was arrested the next day, and we were given a no contact order immediately. We never spoke again. We never saw each other again. We had that final fight and then never again. That in itself is traumatizing. To never speak again to him.

        And I’m left with no closure, no apology or even acknowledgement from him for his bad behavior. That’s a mind f-ck in itself too.

        He’s on probation, has to attend meetings weekly for domestic violence and also drug and alcohol therapy, he has a record now. He treated women in his past the same way ( I didn’t know that) and then within 3 months of our abruapt breakup, he was arrested from th new girl he moved in with for domestic violence, as he is dilluional as he found a new target within a day of our breakup. Probably was seeing her all along. Statistics say so. He further smeared my name and literally abandoned me and attempted to erase me, by saying he and I were friends with benefits, he paid for all our moving expenses , set me up in a second bedroom and I didn’t have to work. What a lie.he further stated I was crazy and wanted more. The length of his lies to get a new target to feel sorry for him and bait her in.

        I’m the first woman in his whole life who has not given up and pursued a domestic violence conviction. All other girls bowed down. He owes me money. I’m in therapy ad have lost my mind all because of his abuse. It happens.

        Get out, and stay out. I heard that from everybody from the beginning till now and hadnt dunk in for a long time. Of course I missed him, I grew to accept the dysfunction as the norm for survival. I forgot what life was supposed to feel like.

        It’s been 10 months out of that terrible life and I’m doing well, but the healing process is far from over. What happened may be with me forever...but I will not let it control me. I am more aware of my boundaries now and very protective of myself.

        That is where you need to get to. Therapy is a must. Talk it out. And don’t ever go back. They never change.

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        Ann 4 weeks ago

        This is how my sister lived and died.

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        Gina Marshall 4 weeks ago

        I'm currently sitting on my couch bawling my eyes out, in an apartment that I now am responsible for myself.

        I moved here end of October with my boyfriend, who is exactly as described above except worse, but I could never leave and I felt co-dependent.

        I started believing I was the one causing so much havoc in the relationship due to how bitter and resentful I've become.

        I've been trying to push him away for do many years but then I'm afraid for him to leave.

        He refuses to give me the space I need, and just tells me he loves me ect, but never that he will change.

        I just always think things will get better but they never do.

        He continues to do as he wishes, I get upset and speak up.. But he blames me saying I'm crazy or he isn't doing anything. He then just tells me I treat him like crap during arguments and I just accuse him all the time.

        When I met him, I found out the truth about him and his "uncle" who he was living with. Turned out he was actually his sugar daddy. They would go on vacations together and male escorts were hired. My boyfriend at the time was also a male escort on the past which I found out through his old friend who disagreed with how much he lied.

        I was lied to time and time again, including the dozens of times he reached out to women online and tried seeing them... And when he had sexual convos, when he talked to his ex "side girl" behind my back for a year.

        I found out all this and he would just deny... lie.. then tell semi truths and say i treat him like crap when I Get upset.

        I haven't even mentioned the abuse.

        He has gotten violent. It started out with BDSM but then just turned violent and him even pulling me out of my car by my hair one time.

        I started using his past against him to get all this stuff to stop with threatening to expose him, he was finally scared and I had some control.

        I used this tactic and it's my biggest regret.

        I've become a milicious, resentful vindictive person who still is attached to him but so afraid of letting my guard down.. yet I can't let go.

        He moved out two weeks ago. I've been telling him to leave, because he degrades me, my character, always tells me I'm the problem.. But I didn't actually want him to go.

        We got into another big argument and he threw a 3 drawer plastic bin at me and I got scared.

        I called the cops and he got arrested.

        He faces a felony May 23rd.

        I could try and help him, yet part of me wants him to go to jail... however I still want to be with him because I've become so reliant.

        Did I mention the control of him flipping out if I even looked at a guy.. went out with a girl friend ECT saying I was only going out to meet guys?

        Well now he blames me.. And wants nothing to do with me... he is back living with sugar daddy "uncle" who is gay and actually called the cops on me last time I tried going There to talk to my now ex (I rang the buzzer a bunch because there was no answer) I hadn't known my ex was sleeping in the other room and sugar daddy Alan was ignoring me and didn't tell my ex I was trying to get ahold of him..

        Needless to say, I'm a mess. I feel beaten, confused... angry, sad, abandoned, used.

        This isn't the first situation either.

        His EX before me went through the same thing and she took him to court for abuse but he got off clean.

        He can be so loving but is so manipulative and I feel like I'm so alone.

        I had so many contacts before this relationship and now have none.....

        I lost my few close friends, and we didn't have friends we hung with... all he had was many many aauantiances. He was in show business and lived the spot light.

        I was made to look crazy over 3.5 years and I actually have gone a bit nuts. I've lost myself over and over again and now idk what to do. I don't even have him.

        I know such damaging info about him that could put him away for years behind bars.. where I actually called an investigator about about a year ago..

        I never gave a full statement because I still felt attached but I am on the fence again of releasing that info.

        I'm afraid I'll regret it though and miss him and completely burn my bridges with no repair of I do.

        I partially already did that by telling his sister indirectly some info but she thinks I'm just evil and crazy.

        Let's just say he can go away for "assisting" hands on in a "suicide" years ago......

        I'm so afraid to lose him yet I'm miserable with him.

        I can't bear seeing him with another person or another person going through this same crap.

        I'm his 3rd long term, ... 16 year age gap .. I'm 27, he is 43, and he has done this to two others before me..

        Only they didnt know about his past like I do.

        I could write for days....

        I just need to figure out how to process and not fall back into a mental trap of despair. He is blocking and ignoring me and now threatening a restraining order on me.

        My life was not like this before him...

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        Edith Hellyer Felker 5 weeks ago

        I have been abused exactly as you have described for ~6 years now, preceded by decades of stalking. I just pray that God does not allow any of them to benefit at all from my suffering and that He stops them NOW. These abusers have very high technology techniques that make it impossible to get away from them.

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        Taryn Thompson 5 weeks ago

        I am being harassed day and night by means of a sadistic criminal behavior that is commonly called "Organized/Gang Stalking". Working as a live-in personal assistant for room and board for a Las Vegas small business owner, I have had my civil rights and privacy continuously violated by the means of constant torture and verbal abuse. I have been demeaned by sexually explicit statements regarding rape and child molestation daily by the live-in employees of the Dragon's Emporium,v an online Amazon Resale Business operating out of home in Las Vegas Nevada. They have speakers and cameras in order to allow them to electronically harass me with sexually explicit and demeaning statements and threats of violence by means of a sadistic stalking, commonly referred to as “Gang Stalking”.

        Gangstalking is an umbrella term describing a series of techniques utilized by a group to instill mental instability within a victim with the intent to discredit, sabotage, harass, extort and even drive a victim to suicide. A victim of gangstalking can have their reputation, credibility, careers, relationships and entire life put into ruins.

        Techniques such as mind games, perception manipulation, organized stalking, covert harassment, constant surveillance and possibly electronic harassment are used to push a victim to mental instability. The perpetrators of this crime follow, stalk, harass and torture me to cause emotional and mental harm and to silence me from reporting the abuse. I have reported the following abuses to the Las Vegas Metro Police Department in regards to these criminal activities; cyber-stalking (including internet spying, email spying and intercepting, password theft); privacy invasion (including telephone tapping, misdirecting and disconnecting, mail tampering and intercepting, and using surveillance cameras to video me in several stages of undress); forced homelessness; widespread vicious lies, threats of bodily harm, intimidation; including public ridicule, threats and sarcastic intimidation regarding my childhood trauma/rape. The stalkers have conspired to use electronic applications to violate my privacy and hire local thugs to follow me and threaten me. They have acted intentionally and recklessly, by stalking, threatening and harassing me in this outrageous and extreme fashion in order to cause me severe emotional distress.

        These people have intruded upon my solitude, without permission, they spy on me by means of hidden-cameras at my home and work. They have tried to disparage me and have used my name and likeness without permission online on websites such as Facebook to disclose salacious information about me publicly. They divulge offensive information that is baseless and untrue online regarding illicit drug-use while having their allies mock my childhood rape and trauma in public for sport. All of this has been done to present me in a false light and to misrepresent me in a way highly offensive manner by people who are without consciousness.

        Due to this unrelenting harassment and the accompanying threats, I suffer from sleep deprivation; severe migraines; extreme fatigue; and Tinnitus, (nuisance hearing of sounds induced by synthetically contrived voice transmission techniques to induce sleep deprivation). Due to the Online harassment and threatening behavior that has transpired over the web, computer spyware, the willful, malicious and repeated following and harassing there has been a severe disruption of my daily life, and violating of my civil rights. On March 12th at 2pm while sitting at my desk working I became very ill, nausea, and lost consciousness. Due in-part to the constant stress of sleep deprivation which lead to a viral infection and food tampering. The ;last thing that I ate or drank was coffee, made by a coworker, who has tampered with my food previously. I was unaware of losing consciousness until I was revived, apparently when i fell from the chair to see people standing around, looking unconcerned, if not guilty. No other employees thought to call for help as my eyes rolled back into my head suddenly or I became unresponsive and almost fell to the floor, as if they were truly aware of the poisoning. I called a Lyft for a ride to the ER and was diagnosed with a viral infection, dehydration, and vasovagal syncope. All the more reason that I need some legal authority to look into my constant complaints regarding my lack of civil and human rights that I have been making for the past 2 years to the Las Vegas Metropolitan and San Diego Police Departments.

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        Robin 8 weeks ago

        I am well aware of how this feels. I've been bullied, stalked, had my pets killed, had a murderer in my home who people "felt sorry for" because "he deserved a chance". I've been battered as a child and raped as a child. I've been locked in rooms and raped and dumped in alleys with a quarter and turned around and brought a rapist a bag of groceries as a "thank you" for helping me escape a nice, clean, republican suburban home where I was held on the ground and beat over the skull for rolling my eyes or being a teenager for HOURS AND HOURS on end. I'm still (at 38) suffering effects from finally calling these people abusive, learned about "what rape is" when I was 24 and still escaping to safety to hide from people who don't "let that happen in this family". I've watched friends die, jumping from ledges of 14 story buildings who couldn't handle anymore. I've self harmed and eaten dozens of sleeping pills at the same time, chugging them with wine to make the stale, "PTSD" like taunting and shaming in the back of my subconscious mind that is like a torture chamber where "men are treated with respect" and women are "submissives" who "take instruction" and "eat like ladies" for me continues - 24/hrs a day. It's gone on for years. I'm not completely broken yet. I'm not even on SSI and refuse seeing too many opportunities for prey to come stalk, rape, put a bag over my head, drag me to another "boarding school" where I'm thought-reformed or brainwashed, medicated, taught once again where a woman's place is in this community and taught to be "on my best behavior" or "grateful" for what I get.

        I know this abuse all too well and have befriended others from deep, fundamentalist religious homes who honor men like they're a "God" or something. I refrain from interaction with not only the men, but also the women. They seem "demented" and forceful about "respect" and stand by their man til' death - that's "all she gets".

        I hope that one day that it ends and I find someone better for a companion or friend who'd like to see women "returned", "respectful", in an a-line skirt, with a debutante silhouette ponytail, with a bible balancing while she drops to her knees to make sure her skirt is touching the ground and other gross types who have made life a living f*ing nightmare for me. That would be a dream come true. To escape this nightmare and find more than oppression, drugging, bible beatings, torture, force into husbandry for women.

        I find it much too traumatic to bond with those who have returned to those who harmed them. I have no interest in it - it's like being a Vietnam Veteran with PTSD to be that kind of woman. You're always on the edge of suicide. You are always in 2 places at the same time and in a great deal of pain that you have to cover up to type at your desk and return to your room.

        Ow. :(

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        8 weeks ago

        I am well into what's left of me after over 13 years of exactly what this explains,and I can't take it anymore.I am a walking dead person who can't escape and can't even explain to professionals the hell I've lived by my own blood.I am totally dependent on them and have left the situation many times but always find myself right back into it.When I try to reach out for help with DV the first thing they ask is are u taking your meds.Having depression misleads your abuse and gives all the more power to the abuser.My body is in the fight and flight mode constantly and I have recently started to become paranoid due to the abuse.I think this abuse is pure evil,when they put a smile on and stab ur back you know your in trouble.I cry non stop,I hardly ever go out,I haven't been to a dentist in over ten years or a obgyn since I was pregnant with my daughter who is 21.There is nothing other than survival mode,if your not going thru it at the time your trying to figure out how to get thru it.My eyes open in mornin and my stomach is automatically in a pit.How do we get help for this when the people who are there to help us don't understand it.Its absolutely hell.

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        Brainwashed 8 weeks ago

        several patheitc grafiti and film producers would fit into this description, they ruined my entire life.

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        Red 2 months ago

        Every thing here is true. I truly do not understand why the loving God I know allows these people to exist or why he allowed someone like me who loves Him so much to suffer from this HORRIBLE kind of abuse? It makes absolutely no sense and it has made me question my faith MANY TIMES. I'm currently still in my relationship with a TRUE PSYCHOPATH and I am trying my hardest to get out it. We have been meeting with our current social worker/therapist together now for 3 years... And our past one together for 3 years. I met with my therapist last week alone for 1 hour and told him I want out of this relationship and that I believe my boyfriend is a psychopath he asked me to give him examples of reasons why and I just drew a complete BLANK. My therapist left my house last week saying for me to think about if I am completely sure I want to end the relationship and told him to let me know next time we meet and we can all talk about the next steps we should take to move forward. We won't be meeting again 3 weeks and I don't know what to do because I WANT OUT NOW!! I have no car and nowhere to go... There is no physical abuse that takes place so calling the police isn't an option. I have no money and literally no where to go or anyone else to turn to. Does ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR ME? I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

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        kiki 2 months ago

        there comes a time in life, whether thru God's wisdom or grace. a person begins to understand the reason why they're here. I have been on the receiving end of NA. since I was 2 yrs old Now at 61 I am still quite stunning though in a more remote ethereal way. I met my current husband 12 yrs ago . After being love bombed for so short a time I couldnt wrap my mind around the concept that i was chasing a memory that I could never recreate. All the while he's uped his game...his cruelty was becoming legendary. He is the poster child for a malignant narcicisst....a socio/pychopath. He detests me for no longer playing the never seen never heard game. from a toddler I searched for the love that would save was all along. When I outed him . I guess it is about timeA couple weeks ago he told me "I'll bury you" REALLY???? He will have to find someone new to HATE without a cause..........when you face your fear there is no fear

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        Shelley Wilbur 2 months ago

        I have been subjected to horrific passive-aggressive psychological abuse from my husband for more than twenty years. The first time I tried to leave him he told me that he would never let me leave and proceeded to mortgage the house to the hilt rendering it virtually worthless. I and my baby would have been homeless if I left. The last time I filed for divorce he faulsely accused me of beating my daughter for weeks and I was arrested and a restrainting order was taken against me. The charges were dropped months later for lack of evidence but for four months I was homeless and I could see or speak to my child. Ifor I had been any more unhappy than I was, I could not have continued living. I am now back home but because of the false accusations, the arrest, the multiple court dates, etc., there is very little chance that I would be granted any custody of my beloved child. So he now has me over a barrel. I have to stay put until my daughter goes off to college. But each day is torture. I have been diagnosed with complex ptsd and acute stress syndrome. I am emotionally and physically shattered and on constant survival mode. It is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I have no choice. Is there anyone out there who has had similar experiences to mine. I need as much support as I can find...

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        Left broken 3 months ago

        OMG Calling out the murderer, the situation you describe is eerily like mine. I lost the love of my life to suicide while he was in the process of leaving his narcissistic wife. Mind you he was husband #4, the second to commit suicide & one died of severe stomach ailments. I would guess the one still living considers himself fortunate to be alive. She totally emasculated my guy, had him believing he had dementia, completely isolated him from his family, had him believing her adult children were the world & that his hated him. She had him in an overwhelming amount of debt in excess of $150,000 which did not include his house or vehicles. All in loans & credit cards spent on her & her kids. A lavish wedding, over the top birthday party to the tune of $25,000, motorcycles, rental homes etc. It was to a point he could never retire. He was 66yrs old. He felt defeated! She threatened she was taking everything & was going to make our life a livng hell. He told me (in tears) he had nothing left to offer me.He promised me he wasn’t going to hurt himself, told me to never forget how much he loves me & went to his mothers grave the next day and pulled the trigger. He too left 2 beautiful adult children, a fabulous daughter-in-law & 2 precious grandchildren that are now broken beyond belief. On the day he put the gun under his chin, she told him to go kill himself & this wasn’t the first time she said it to him. He left a video tape that he recorded that fateful day, telling EVERYTHING she said to him & the hell she put him through. I’m totally broken & angry at the system at the same time. With a track recorlnlike hers & 2 sucides under her belt, you think the law would investigate this evil witch. I feel your pain! Something needs to be done! This happened 6mths ago & she’s already moved on to her next victim. God I wish I could warn him.

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        Kevin 3 months ago

        I have endured 17 yeas of attempted murder, gaslighting, personal attacks and slandering me at work to cause constructive dismissals, all done by the narcissist mother of my son, a child she had without my consent, so she could target my family for exploitation! Truly an evil piece of hell on earth. People don't realize, it's more common than reported; it's a plague on our society.

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        Calling out the murderer 3 months ago

        Reading the comment left below by Narcissistic Abuse Victim 62, sounds exactly like what I just experienced with my father-in-law’s wife (my husband’s step mother), except she hasn't turned anyone against us because she has nothing to feed her beliefs. She is a manipulative narcissist. A toxic person. She made my father-in-law put the gun under his chin and pull the trigger just 3 weeks ago, not physically, but emotional abuse over the years finally took its toll. All the family is putting blame on her, but instead she is pushing to blame to others. We know some of what my father-in-law has endured over the years and he often spoke to his mother of their problems. I mean his last words were I can't take being with her anymore. He said this in a voice message to his parents before he shot himself. How the hell do I hold her accountable? I want justice. She is telling me of some the things that has happened over the years, telling me of people reaching out to her saying her husband had depression, but she had no idea he did, she is saying he had a gambling problem, that he hated family and had no friends, that he would get ill tempered when he drank (she drinks as well, he labeled her a functioning alcoholic). I mean the stories she is saying on him most don't make any sense. She has accused him of molesting their daughter, she has threatened to poison him, she has threatened to take the daughter away, said things like how his sons think he is a piece of shit father. I have seen her behavior, I see how controlling she is, just recently experienced this a few days ago through a text she sent to me. She had her hands in everything over him. Her own mother told me that she has an alcohol problem and I know this for a fact as well. She was on the phone the next day following his death calling up credit card companies, insurance companies, etc. I mean I didn't know how bad he was suffering until I got a call from my husband saying his father barricaded himself inside threatening to shoot himself. It all makes sense now. I am trying my best to piece together things but it is hard being she is telling me one thing and family is saying another. All I want is justice, if there was emotional abuse over the years that tore him down to doing this, then I want her held accountable. I also don't want her own child (3yrs old) to experience this. She is telling me how fake people are and how she doesn’t want her child around them, especially the family. She said he hated it because of that but she also said how she hated it; her story flops. He enjoyed visiting his family, especially his parents but she is telling me how she had to force him to go visit and to go bond with his kids. I mean I didn't see that at all. What I saw was her, her dictating when and where they would go visit and for how long. She said how he hated his job, but I only saw how much he loved it. He did lose his job just four days before he took his own life, but I really feel that that was his escape, working all the time, once that was gone he realized he would have to endure her bs until he found something else which would have been over a month or two. I mean part of me wants to think that it wasn't all her behind this, but my brain is saying she did it. I don't trust her by any means. Again, I want accountability for this. So how do I get it?

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        Narcissistic Abuse Victim 62 3 months ago

        My mother is a malignant narcissist and she honed my father down to an emotional nub over the course of 40 years. When he couldn't take it anymore, he put a pistol in his mouth and ended it. Once he was gone, she started on me. But, I had a support system; a husband, a daughter, and friends. Once I caught on to what she really was, I walked away and saved my own life in the process. I lost my family of origin because she had been systematically laying the ground work to turn them against me for 20+ years just in case I ever tried to walk away. Oddly, I can't even bring myself to hate her because I understand that she is damaged. Something happened to her in early life that fucked her up forever and I feel badly that she will die without ever having known true happiness. Today, I feel lucky because I could have become just like her. Instead, I became like my Dad, which was no walk in the park by any means. But, being a codependent beats the hell out of being a sociopath. I regret that I didn't understand what/who she was until it was too late to help my father. But, at the end of the day, he was probably the only person who could have saved himself. And, he's definitely in a better place now. I know that is true because I would rather be dead now than to be caught up in that web of sociopathic poison for another day. These people are soul sucking vampires--soul murderers.

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        Amy Nasser 3 months ago

        I have been trying to be heard for 22 years I did think I was crazy and I was in psychiatric hospital for a while My Husband agreed res might be a good idea and he would work on being a Parent and United Front and listen to my pleas I believed him I wanted to I was. Wrong he called every one in my phone book I was missing and I took thousands of dollars My Dad had loaned us told Mr Family I abandoned him and my children My Sisters went on line spreading the word of The poor victim Who's Shrew of a wife devastating his life I didn't tell any one. MY Husband knew! So I'm working on me He is filing police reports and Divorce restraining orders to addresses he knew were a goose chase If I had received them He would not be able to totally break me discredit me alienation or push me His Mother An Idol GOD BLESS HER on a visit from Pakistan she would scan me as I stepped out of the shower it was weird a little awkward I asked him if that was some Cultural thing? He didn't know, In hind sight SHE KNEW AS WELL AS I KNEW SHE DIVORCED HIS FATHER IN THE MIDDLE EAST IN THE 1960'S HOW DO I EXPOSE HIM? I NEVER HAD ANY CHANCE TO BE HEARD HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE KNEW WHAT I HAD BEEN DOING I SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF MYSELF! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU I ASKED WHAT DO YOU MEAD AND EVERY ONE KNEW WHAT I DID COMPLETE ALIENATION I WAS ASKED ON ONE OCCASION AS I WAITED FOR MY KIDS TO BE DROPPED OFF AT THE MOVIES AND HE KEPT HANGING UP THE PHONE TILL I HAD NO CHANGE I BROKE DOWN IN FRONT OF THE. THEATER SOME ONE CALLED POLICE I TOLD HIM WHAT WAS GOING ON FROM THE P. D. I CALLED FROM ONE LINE 5 Times Him N his pig taunted laughed she said f u your going to jail harassment than a bit later the Detective called him to say that I was trying to reach him HIS REPLY NOBODY CALLED HERE the Detroit. AND 262HELP COUNSELOR Looked at me and asked me if he had insurance on me and would my kids be safe I. Thought they would? I was told He wants you dead I thought insurance would not pay suicides GOOD RESEARCH SAM!! THEY DO FOR MENTAL ILLNESS

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        astromuffy 3 months ago

        Robert Shapiro, a self proclaimed Shaman has been stalking and tormenting me for years. He has posted horrific images of murders, child rape, cannibalism, and vore, on google images under various monikers I have used, including "astromuffy". Go to the page and see for yourself. There he has also posted numerous images of himself, as well as youtube videos that I watch. How the hell does he know that I watch these videos? How much access does he have to my online activities? Why should these creeps be able to harass with impunity and be answerable to no one? He has pushed me past the point of no return. I am going to fight back any way I can, and it starts with this post. I am going to start a wordpress blog, and upload YouTube videos about it. I would love to hear from people who have had enough. Let's get together and see if there's anything we can do about these psychopaths.

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        Tracey Swarbrick 3 months ago

        Ten years of every possible avenue, every step a fight, 2018, The answers, change,balance, The Truth. Taking back, Power and greed will not succeed, knowledge is power, Standing loud and proud.

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        Buddha Stephy 4 months ago

        There is a lot of information out there on how to recognize their abuse and what they do and the most effective ways to get away and what not to do when trying to get away. But I can't find anything about what to do if you did the wrong things before you realized what they were and are in the midst of the retaliation and you can't go silent or walk away because they stole your kids and are very effectively erasing you from your own life which includes from your own children's lives and memories as he manipulates and abuses them and uses them as weapons and pawns. I can't find help. Everyone believes him. I look like a neurotic nut job who can't even form a rational thought or function normally. It doesn't ever stop. It just keeps getting worse and worse. But nobody else seems to even see it. He deleted the real me and rewrote my entire life making me the villain and him the victim... nobody will help me save my babies from this psycho that I was with for 10 years... but I never met him until after I demanded he stop lying and manipulating and gets help. My husband left with my kids so I could take a little break and heal from his lies and regroup a bit. It was supposed to be a couple weeks for a little break. I never saw "my husband" again and now this man I have never met has my babies and took everything, leaving me homeless, penniless, and without resources. He kidnapped my children, left me for dead, and nobody even cares. I feel like everyone has gone completely bonkers because they all are acting like what he is doing is okay and I just need to move on. I don't understand anything anymore... my head just spins and spins with lie after lie after lie... and I can't find any help or anyone who will even believe me.

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        Rogue 4 months ago

        It's been 5 years since I divorced the man who tortured me. I still have nightmares.

        He slowly and methodically broke my spirit. I felt like a worthless piece of dirt with nothing to give to the world.

        We were married for 22 years and I was like a walking dead person. At points I'd drink until I passed out. I had three kids to raise and without a job. I was trapped in hell trying to protect my children from his wrath.

        I prayed that God would take me home, but I felt guilty about the selfishness of my desire so I stuck it out.

        My advise to anyone who is going through this is leave now!! If you have family or even an abuse shelter is better than staying. Don't allow yourself to be destroyed like I did. You are worth so much more.

        I'll never be the person I was. Sometimes I still want to die, but can't do it.

        Now I'm alone and have no friends because I don't trust anyone, but my family. I thank the Lord for them. I'm better off alone than being with him.

        Some day I hope that I can learn to believe in myself again.

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        4 months ago

        I really need help,someone who knows exactly what u have said here.I am 20 yrs into this same kind of abuse by my own parents.This is a very real situation,I know because I'm going thru it.Its worn me down so bad that I have extremely bad anxiety all face goes numb,it hurts to move my eyes balls from side to body twitches all the time.i have constant pain including in my head,my memory is mush.please where do I go to find someone who knows what u have explained? I'm so far into the abuse I need help getting out

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        Tracey Swarbrick 4 months ago

        Professionals should pick up on this type of abuse. As vunerable people are being left in our society with no where to turn for help. Instead of receiving the correct help are being used as assets,in many different areas, to which is not even being acknowledged. I have conducted a research evidence filled, ten year real life project, to which have tried every possible avenue there is trying to just get someone to listen. Instead I have been discriminated against, labelled,ignored practically left to rot. Lost opportunity to not only my life but in my local community,my town, probable in world wide areas too,as much of my research was for what was for reaching sustainable goals,and a equality for every I. Still find myself in managed system to where accounts are taken over,alias e mails are made. Apps appear on my phone,software changes. Passwords change and I get locked out of my own devices. Insurances have been set up, My children's childhoods,lives have been effected still are. Covert Death. Well when I come back to life, to which Truth is and all ways will be truth, show that illusions are built for evil to hide, use and abuse, need for greed. So I never stop believing, No one can ever make me be or take away the love I have for my children.

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        Kansas city girl 4 months ago

        I still suffer from this. It's so exactly to the point. Everything on this hit the nail on the head

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        Vlad 5 months ago

        Just wanted to write this quickly done here : beautiful prose, well-thought and thought-provocative. You're spot on about everything - I'd read a certain amount of literature on the topic but you've synthetized it best. It's a great help, and also of great interest. Thanks for that.

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        5 months ago

        My ex was drugging me to implant memories about childhood abuse, to isolate me from my family. I lived in a trauma bond for 11 years and I am just coming to the truth, 6 years after I left him, hours of therapy, after malpractice in 2015, done by someone, who knew my ex and talked to him behind my back. I was regressed to child state, dissociated most of the “treatments”, let that person record sessions. Now this is investigated and recordings are gone. We have three kids, that he also brainwashed and alienated, so they have the same memories as he implanted In me. His mother was an alcoholic and father also, my family is “normal”. MY family members are educated, he finished 11 years of school, and calls himself a doctor. He says he finished university, his grandfather fought in a war, and he had awesome childhood. After that therapy, i was told by that therapist that everything was going because of my childhood. I started from nowhere getting triggered with almost everything, my kids started alleging his abuse, that was the memories he implanted in me. We immigrated, he left first. He for sure prepared people for his crazy wife. After I left with our children, I was without support, child support, working, stalked, and cyber bullied, my accounts were deleted. I had to pay his debts, he took kids away, so he had money for lawyer. They falsified agreement we signed, and gave me first to sign one with wrong date, the date I left. I realized that and they sent new one, again with wrig date, third time with proper one. Kids said he was showing the false one to friends and family, to prove I abandoned family. I was paying high child support, in addition he was sending kids so I’d pay for their activity fees, clothes, all needs. At the same time, for two years I was refused most of visits, he got sole custody, during investigation as he stalked me and was disobeying order. Before the trial, I saw him, and got triggered. I sabotaged it and didn’t testify. I also didn’t have permanent status. Then I met someone, we actually got joint custody, after the battle, as my ex said that I could not have made dinner for the kids and was I unloving mother. I was labeled with drug and alcohol addiction, he found three witnesses to cover up for him this buckshit. My fiancé and I love my children so much, we had lots of fun together, despite planned parenting time by him. My oldest daughter showed sumpmts of PAS. I wanted to help and connected her therapist. Then those allegations. My daughter involved child welfare and I almost lost my little one. My fiancé and I were in the situation of proxy abuse by my kids from first marriage. At home was chaos, I developed ptsd and suddenly had adhd symptoms. From healthy person I became emotional wreck, who believed I was abused my whole life. My oldest daughter was pretending suicide attempts, rewrote our story, threatened me with father chasing me, got some friends to harass me, abused and started to program my little daughter to be afraid of me. Other kids were acting out, threatened, abused by oldest and programmed, behind my back I was accused of emotional abuse, then when i confronted oldest about theft, she reported me to child welfare. For one and a half year, I was targeted by them. My husband lost his work, and then he saw what I was going through. So they started targeting both of us, creating fake conflict, and threatening with taking away little one. I gave up. Oldest chose to go to foster care first, then she was posting that it was my fault, my son was getting suspended at school and camp, I let him go to father, middle daughter tried her best but I was burned out and when she saw her father, she got triggered, locked herself in the washroom and called me mental and bipolar, like her oldest sister. She said that I’ve never loved her, and her mother is my ex’s wife, who calls herself mommy. She knows him maybe 2 years. A few days later, my middle daughter got triggered and we started arguing, as she locked herself in the washroom with little one, I was worried. She called police and was taken to father. Then I was accused of shaking her and had to be supervised around little one. Each time I tried to report anything, mental health was called on me. Last time, I was told by child welfare that I had no right to leave the city, as I was a danger for my husband and little daughter. They constantly were asking if I was suicidal. Now is 6 months. I didn’t see my kids. I am in therapy, going through old emails, I was able to save, the rest is gone. I just read email of my old counselor saying that I was not abused as a child, I was not seeing psychiatrist and not on meds as teenager. This is what my ex implanted in my head. This is a nightmare life. I wrote letters to professionals but it seems like people don’t think something like this ever happens. Thanks

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        MGOOOD 5 months ago

        Marc, I'm asking myself why this is so spot on? Were you born the same day as me or something?

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        CC 5 months ago

        This is the exact info I was looking for. All other people who write about this, say things like, "how to heal from marriage to a psychopath", but I already know I'm not going to heal. It's been 10 years since I've seen my ex. He murdered my soul and my psyche. I'd like to learn more about people who are suffering a similar fate years and years after the relationship.....who have never dated again. I have not even considered the idea of ever dating again. Marriage to the narc/path ruined me ....ruined my life. For anyone thinking they may be involved with one...RUN...the consequences are too drastic.

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        Dazy May 5 months ago

        If these things are known to be happening, why does Mental Health experts deny it??????

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        No more hope 5 months ago

        This has happened to me. I have had my whole world taken from me. Everyone that I loved and cherished now hate me. I was exposed to drug induced abuse along with alot of other horrific means like actually having a camera surigically implanted in my eye and microphones and hidden cameras placed throughout my familys home. I have to endure through hearing these people that plotted out this scheme turn everyone i tried to run to against meg etting them to believe i was beyond hole in saving. these people and their scheme set out to not kill me but rather get me declared insane and put into a insane asylum. My actions in running for my life and not knowing what was ahppening led me into having the whole world watch me do things that further got the whole world to hate me even more. They that were terrozing me kept setting me up in situations that would further destroy any ability i had to save myself. From going to a mental facility, the cops or even the hospital. so much hate was built up for me by the time i realized what was being done to me and what had been done to me it was to late. they pulled my strings and got me to a point where I am going to be killed and everyone in the world is going to cheer my passing while the ones that did this to me will probably never have to work again and they'll still piss on my name. I know no one cares but what was seen of me is not how i always was. it was a drug induced state and mindstate that i was kept in for months before realizing i was goingt crazy. that i was being drugged and manipulated. even after i figured it all out i kept letting them drug me. i couldnt stop smoking cigarettes or eating food that they kept laacing to make me appear more unstable or as insane as they could make me be. whats happened to me is murder that intially was a plan to get me committed to a insane asylum. no one cares but it is a true story it is the truth. my mom kept helping me knowing i would keep freaking out and running away and fucking up. it wasnt my mom it was my mom being coached. my whole hates me for how i acted the last severl months while this was happening but i was just trying to get safe again from a danger and threat that was real. I still love my family and i still love life. i want to go on and try to start over but the whole world wants me dead. so here i stay waiting for the cops or people far worse to come kill me.

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        LD 5 months ago

        Prayers to heaven for you MattCR and for you Irene....nothing done on earth goes unpunished..God bless you both...

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        Bingofuel 6 months ago

        Can't ever prove it. Friend of mine killed himself a few years ago. He had mental health issues including depression and was medicated. He had a healthy life insurance policy and had just received a sizeable inheretence. Terribly odd that he did it before spending any. Myself and a few of his closest friends suspect a family member(s). It would seem an easy thing to maniuplate his way of thinking. And she does it with others. I pegged her as a narcc. Way before it happened. Possibly meddled with the medication?? But there's no way to prove it. I think about it alot though, as they drive brand new cars in and out of the driveway full of shopping spree material... I smile and wave, but when I do, I'm really saying "I know what you did. I know what you are". Wondering which family member will be next. I have a good idea. I could be paranoid, but.....

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        Danielle 6 months ago

        I'm 45 and doing a pageant in mid nov, my platform is narcissist/sociopath/psychopath abuse. I'm a victim of the big 3. I never hear anyone talk about this-and I'd like to change it. I was a strong woman that raised my daughter on my own. 2 years ago I thought I met my soulmate and I lived in the biggest nightmare I could ever imagine. I almost took my life. The only reason I didn't is because he wanted me to. Sick man. But everyone around never gets to see the dark side. And my soul is still badly bruised, I have ptsd, I'm timid when anyone close raises their hand by me, terrible insomnia. I'm working on healing my self everyday. It's a process and I'm grateful I'm still able to smile. I love all of you! Please don't take your life-it's what they want, because they aren't capable of anything normal.

        My email is if anyone would want to start a petition of some kind, let's do it

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        Kay H. 7 months ago

        Robert I believe in Magnolia Tx? I am married to a male narcopath therapist warned me and I feel like I have no reason to exist now it's been 15yrs lost my dad just really realllllyy recently didn't get to go home for that most friends don't think it's as bad as it is cause it sounds insane!!!! I am in North Texas the DFW area..... I don't have any one to trust and he has ruined my career and even my family wont listen.

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        shirley beemer 7 months ago

        so true

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        This is so true and tragic. 7 months ago

        . My mother was a narcissist. She never loved anyone but herself. She was an over achiever and had seven children. We all suffered and wanted to be loved so... bad. Two of my sisters and I all married narcissistic psychopaths. All divorced . We are very strong women or I know I would have killed myself. Two of my siblings a skitzophenic and one is dead and the oldest is a narcissist himself. Just one woman can cause all this pain. I am thankful to be rid of my husband, and blessed to have so many who love me including children and grandchildren.❤️

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        Rns 7 months ago

        My brother hung himself after being in a relationship with his psycho for 10 years. They split a year ago, but she drug him along on a string and continued to remind him how worthless he was. He was with a new girlfriend for the past 3 months and a day or 2 after his death, the ex rd her she should go kill herself about 15 times on facebook. Is there anything I can do to press charges or get an investigation started into my brother's suicide? I have witnesses that have heard the ex tell him he should. And I'm sure there are deleted msgs on facebook that could possibly bee recovered from her. She hacked his facebook all the time. What can I do?

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        Paul Noblin 8 months ago

        The Key to the Universe;

        Revelation one Nineteen

        Write down a brief account of your day, your problems that day, and a list of tasks to do the next day.

        ©1985 Paul Noblin

        Read Rev. 1:19 (KJV).

        Write down the past, present, and future.

        Align your inside mind with the outside world (reality including Christ), and you will be one with All.

        Telepath Perfection and Love.

        See blue skies everyday no matter the weather.

        Warm Regards and best wishes... Paul.

        Hide your journal.

        Paranoia saves lives.

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        Tom Van Alst 8 months ago

        I'm experiencing this now, i allowed my ex-wife to live with me because she "fell on hard times". Since then I lost my job, I have preexisting health issues that are made worse because of her so my health has deteriorated. i have turned to heavy drinking and OTC meds to sedate me so as to not anger. Now i'm about to lose my home and have no where to turn. It's time for me to take the cowardly way out of this mess. I just need to know how to best accomplish this task to put an end to the suffering.

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        Alyson 8 months ago

        I recently had something like this happen to me where a female sociopath and her followers tried to get me to commit suicide through using these tactics. I want to press charges, have spoken with a victim's advocate, but am scared. I'm tired of calling the suicide hotline. I am so thankful though because I've felt so alone and isolated. It feels like psychological rape. Thank you for posting this

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        J oldfield 8 months ago

        Wow. Incredible. How often does this happen? Frightnening.

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        Jvcdhccv 8 months ago

        Do these people scream about invisible trains?

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        gapples 8 months ago

        I am going through this right now and can barely function. Reading the section about psychological murder is exactly how I feel. I've lose myself to the point of utter fear, lack of hope, absolute isolation and feeling too weak and ill to fight. He is supposed to be getting help but after 6 years of constant abuse it's taken its toll. I just pray to God a miracle happens and his therapy works.

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        All fucked up 9 months ago

        This is happening to me, I know I'm not crazy but it's relentless and it's a ton of people, many who are supposed to be very close to me, family. I am alone in this battle, there is no way out, so I choose to fight. I'm going to figure out who is the main people doing this to me and I will stop it myself or get the only thing left of value to me, a good death, that would be a death fighting for what I know is right.

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        Alicia 9 months ago

        Never knew this existed. Just came out of this situation about a year ago. And I refuse to allow it to take me to my grave. I will do whatever it takes to heal me and my FAMILY from this.. MY FAITH IS STRONG.AND MY GOD IS GOOD

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        Dutch Bolten 9 months ago

        My daughter did not survive the mental and psychological abuse her narcissistic put her through. She was only 38 years old. I agree narcissistic are as evil as the next murderer and there should be a law to stop this kind of abuse. I will stand up with you For my daughter.

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        Billie S 9 months ago

        My world changed when I unknowingly became involved with a covert narcissist psychopath. After the rape, abuse, soul murder, etc, I am lucky to be alive! His reign over me has ended, and after 2 yrs of counseling I still suffer from PTSD, ulcerated colitis and eczema Brought on by severe stress. My trust of other people has been diminished! you feel trapped in a hell someone else created for you! Being alone seems like the only safe place anymore. The mental pain he caused me nearly drove me to commit suicide! And I was so disconnected from my body because of sexual abuse that it was like coming off of heroin!! ( something I've only heard about) I was addicted to my abuse and abuser!! My question to everybody is why are these psychological killers allowed to walk free in our society damaging inocent people to the point that they take their own lives!! I'm the lucky Survivor, but in studying this blatant attack on humanity for self-serving purposes I realize that we need to do something to put these people away where they belong and that's in jail!!! Where they can't rape,mentally damage and commit unspeakable acts against others. As a survivor I still feel very broken but I am finding the strength and to bring out an all out war against these covert murders !! The fear they install in your mind keeps you from wanting to confront them in anyway, but darkness cannot hide in the light of awareness and if you are a survivor and a fighter and have physical evidence that you've been raped, or spent years in therapy trying to fix yourself Due to the abuse, stand up with me to find a solution to this horrible epidemic !! The meek shall inherit the earth ! I believe this in my soul. We cannot let these demon infested psychological murders rule over us because of fear and self-doubt ! If you were strong enough to live through what just happened to you then you're strong enough To weed through the judicial system!! One of the roadblocks that I'm running into is that there's a plethora of narcissists in authority positions like the police dept and judges!! In my opinion there should be a psychological background test for any people in authority position. One that can't be cheated! Because we are dealing with very intelligent tricksters!

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        inadarkiss 9 months ago

        I've had my soul murdered in this way.

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        Rolahill 9 months ago

        You begin to self destruct, physical pain manifests itself, your body, mind, soul can no longer fight and disease will win. Unless your higher power, God, intervenes.

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        Rolahill 9 months ago

        Add stalker, hacker, home invader through today s technology to narcopath, and it s not something you can run from, hide from, or turn off! It s a conscience decision to murder another human being without feeling any consequences or responsibility.

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        Miriam Micheals 9 months ago from United States

        Excellent description of what goes on with these sickos.

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        Sparkster Publishing 9 months ago from United Kingdom

        Not quite sure what you're trying to say? What disinformation? It's pretty clear from all the other comments here that victims of this type of abuse agree with everything stated.

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        hesaid 9 months ago

        It's a pity so much disinformation is in this blog.

        What you are describing is serious wrong doing in your system! Yes forced suicide and use of certain professional services. Professional security can be used and that's the easy stuff!

        Mental health in my opinion is a useless service and has caused harm to many people!

        Serious threats, dragging up dirt, use of corruption in certain fields to cause harm, defamation lifetime denial of education and employment, manipulating and payment of witnesses and it can last your life and paint a very poor Picture of you, that is false.

        It can take just one bad egg on an innocent person or people!

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        Jo Ann T. 9 months ago

        Your articles have helped to understand just how much pain my daughter my child went through before she committed suicide 3 months ago. She lived with a narcissistic for 2 yrs. Every thing you wrote on Psychological Murder was spot on. Even the Medical Investigator said this was a classic case of abuse but without any visable bruises on the body they cannot prove it.

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        CRH00 9 months ago

        Why can't I email this article? Why is there an icon to email if it doesn't work?

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        Debra Knudson 9 months ago

        Great info! I found

        this to be very informative!

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        Cassie 10 months ago

        This has happened to me. I am lucky to have escaped from my abuser but I have failed to convince another living soul that I was held hostage to my abusers narcissistic insanity. Even therapists look at me as I feel I'm making it up. The way I behaved while in the relationship was so extreme, so unlike anything I would do, so dangerous, reckless that it is impossible to imagine a healthy, normal, professional could ever be so duped, and yet, I was. I was treated with such heartlessness, as if I was not human but a mere object. But why did I remain captive for so long? For 8 years, off and on, attempted to escape regularly but kept going back. I was very fortunate that my abuser got slightly ahead of himself one evening and organised abuse of such horror that even in the drug induced and coerced stupor I was in, I retained enough of my own mind throughout what followed to be able to recall clearly his face, mannerisms and complete disregard for me, except as a toy for him to play with and destroy, like a mad child. The next day as I licked my wounds, I vowed I would never allow myself to be so degraded again by him or by any other human being. Finally, he had gone too far and I had seen behind his mask. Traumatised, lonely and unable to talk to anyone about these horrors, I have limped my way, a year after my escape, to a place where I can almost breathe again. Relief, yes, but there is still fear, regret, sadness and guilt that I allowed myself to be abused. It's okay, I'm intelligent enough now to read widely on the many psychological issues that brought me to the abuser in the first place, and also I use the many fabulous articles and videos online to find truth and resolution, which I hope one day will come. Your article is the first I have ever read on the severe and criminal damage that these people can inflict and that can lead so easily to death. Grateful thanks.

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        Cora Reece 10 months ago

        I feel so connected to the way you described the victim. I've litterally felt like ive been 'torn into pieces.' But she always tells me im really unstable and cant function properly. I was told so much shit, that i daily feel suicidal. And the worst part is that its my mom. But i dont know if this is even a thing that can happen. Like, how can my mom be torturing me? She is my mom she cant be.

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        Carolyn 10 months ago

        I lost my brother to suicide less than 2 years ago at the hands of a sociopathic narcissist (10 years of marriage). Many know who she is now but plenty don't. She is playing the sympathy card pretty hard too. Plus keeping everything my brother worked his entire life for. I have released all of that but I'm still compelled and determined to help raise awareness. You are doing a great job putting the word out. Some day I would like to tell my brother's story for him to help others in need. PTSD is real from this abuse and especially compounded by a childhood trauma. Not to mention mental health professionals don't always spot this abuse.... my brother tried to get help but I unfortunately his mental health professsional wasn't able spot the abuse. After my brother died I started therapy and my therapist just happened to have 20 years experience with NPD patients. It was a blessing (and a curse) to finally figure out what had been going on in my brother's life. I even met with my brother's therapist and gained further knowledge. I only wish I had this knowledge earlier. I want schools to include courses about personality disorders! Nice people are so vulnerable. My brother was so sweet and kind. I hope everyone who has experienced abuse can find peace and healing from the trauma you have endured.

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        anon 10 months ago

        I met the real deal and this is exactly what they're like, god bless anyone else who has been through this. One last word if I may, you'll learn from it and it will never happen to you again, that I will promise.

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        Thomas Orr 10 months ago

        I seem to be blaming myself for being who are what i am im 50 now an im an addic an my only faily are two younger brothers i used to think i was ok. But as addic ive lived that life whenmy folks both diedi became even worse( meth an weed) i was taught family is love trust ancareing 20 yrs ago after my girlfriend left me for cooking. I desided i was worthless. And i went to prison. When. Got out i had to start over from nothing an asked bros for help i thought i was being helped but depressionan addiction drove me to attempt to suiside but i didnt die an was hospitilized my only family an friends i had came to visit me an brought dope to hospitil an i was crazy i think meds n meth. Both but eventuly i was put on ssi an now everone has been convinced im just junky i hate myself more each day ive become isolated an guess still trying to die. I live in country behind my youngest bro witch isaddict too an cant afford car an depend on him to get food. But he will take money from me to buy my food an such an disapear for day two an after no food for 2 or 3 days come back an give me meth an anyone knows if you hungry an i know the meth quiets the pains i fall for it an he tells people i spent all money getting hi an if i say anything to anyone for somereason they beleive him an say im crazy addic mad cause im out of dope im stuck in this an dont know what to do are how to. Help. Myself because i get hi an it makes all ok for a bit i live in camper with 2 lights an microwave. Ive began to not care about the way i look an ive begun to have issues hoarding are trash. For reasons i dont understand if i have garbage stacked an piled everwherein camper no one wants to visit an i realy dont want visitors anymore im own ssi an food stamps but im down to 120 pds an rarly bath are shave an it seems im traped cause to anyone see me they automaticly think. Im just junky. Why i seem to play the role good. How can i help myself like this it just me an my dog an if i try to get help they want to put me in hospitil. An my dog ( my very best an only true family are freind will be taken from me are if anyone was to see how i live if you can call it living they would take me are my little buddy an i know this from dr counselers an churchs an my bro sure reminds me often i do still pray but not as i used too is their a way to esckape ? If so im just a junky an guess i dont know it are how to find it my life was so so so much better in prison. An now i have oscar mayer my pup dog an memorys an meth that is given to control mean it all over again the only good in life is my pup dog an my mmeth. Help me someone please im tired an worthless an even god has left me behind if i try to move it blocked by deposit for rent get utilitys on an no way can i afford it ive thought of suiside at least 20 times a day but if i do kill myself i would do to my pupdog just what they said i would so i cant are wont desert him. Not even for day are 2 but one thing is certain tomorrow will be worse an the meth im fed will make me forget an kiss his ass just like he says. Im at my end ive thought about just walking off an me an pup go live in the woods but no meth an little food always scares me

        So how do i help myselfnow addicted to ass kissing an life forgotten lonly an lost. Is it my self to blame an am i just sorry assed junky

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        Robert McCarty 11 months ago

        Covert abuse. Instead of one person. It's a massive amount of people. But everything else is on point, right on the money. I don't wanna die, I don't wanna kill myself, I don't wanna lose my soul. I don't know what to do or where to go. I literally do not feel safe in the entire world. Some how they know my every thought. My every action. And I sense they are always around. Literally ALWAYS. I don't know what to do anymore. I honestly feel I'm losing my mind. Someone please help me. I live in magnolia TX . Someone please help and find me before they get me or they have me get myself.

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        Devin 11 months ago

        Please help I really need to talk with someone in the sf Bay Area about this I was abused and lied about threatened and made to live in the back of a car while this other person who

        I wouldn't refer to controlled my entire finances so I could not escape they called the police and tried to have me 5150 while lying to my whole family and telling friends they cannot answer my calls or they will be involved in a crime. I literally was left wanting to die and they knew I had a disability and was currently dealing with infection and other medical conditions. I'm a college homie student who took 2 years off to take care of issues and it has been a hell I can't even remember what my life was like it's very close to a nightmare but when I'm up it's real. I have no psychiatric issues besides obvious anxiety depression exc. please let me know if I can talk to someone about a laywer to help me. And a therapist who knows what this is. Thank you

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        Lounita Ihrig 11 months ago

        This is exactly what has and is happening to me. I have 30 years of his attacks against my life, and since he has been back in 2011, using our son, the attacks are horrendous, as he has turned my son against me. I live completely off the government, and have been completely out of resources. Please help me, I have all the evidence. I have just last night decided to remove myself from our son's life that I raised, the sick bastard has taken over again, either step back or the sb will (and has already started) to pry his way into our son's life (stealing my parental (major struggles) efforts over the years, and has blasted me emotional on facebook calling me psychopath, crazy bitch, etc. He has attack me from all angles, financially, emotionally, etc etc etc. PLease help me.

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        Basiru lee leigh 11 months ago

        I am going through this same abuse as we speak and i believe the man doing all this is trying to frame me, his first step was to isolate me from my friends by feeding them my private information, making them distrust me, having them use half-truths blended in with multitudes of lies to frame me for a crime i didn't commit. The man responsible for all this is a man name Stanley Nkemley. He created a falsehood of information based on what i complained about. It was then to my knowledge that he created a blog about my former mentor and then covertly went on a spree of harassment, manipulation and committing federal crimes of having my phone tapped, computer being hacked and last but no least passing down information about me to other people. He had me so confused that i almost committed suicide. The man apparently was working as an investor and yet he would never work or go to school for days in and out. He fabricated evidence around me and getting information about me from Dr. Sat. He promised to destroy my life if he ever wanted to. I don't know what to do but they are creating more evidence around me and making it seem like i am a big criminal. Using my friends and family to send subliminal messages to harass me. I don't quite understand what's going on because i am so confused to all this. I never took money from this guy but he was willing to destroy all my entire reputation. I am the only one who knows i didn't create the blog, but he was trying to use two of us but now he is trying to drop the entire thing on my head. The man has being doing this for the past 6 years, he was checking my mental stage, what i was thinking, what i was going to do, and how i feel at that moment. What should i do

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        Sad 11 months ago

        Ive had this done to me for 23 years and by my husband and i just now found it has a name. After 23 years im ruined, im done. I have nowhere to run. I have no friends because i wasnt allowed to develop relationships, i was always the one sitting home when my 2 sisters would visit my mom because i wasnt allowed to the mall or movies. I couldnt even go out on my own to shop or enjoy myself. Ive wanted to leave but im scared to live without him because ive been with him since 16. He is my identity, he is my ego. There is nothing left of me but a compilation of his thoughts, opinions, and even his laughter. There is no seperate identity for myself. I dont know who i am. Im in anguish. If i could just turn myself off like a switch i would but i have children.

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        Nodramamama 11 months ago

        Wow, i am currently at the " is it really me?" Point in this abusive hell... i describe it as " being at the Gates of Hell or stuck in Purgatory... it was very subliminal for about first 15 years of marriage. But later it started to show... drugs alcohol, the works , been there. I have felt like a yoyo, for years. Growing up with mental beat down of an alcoholic father , who is now recovered 20 yrs sober, i think makes me not wantto giv up... but theres a difference i believe in someone under tge influence than someone who psychologically interjects such mental destruction subconciously intentionally....

        After 18 yrs no children, we had a child ... little more maintence due to some sensory issues , she is homeschooled still at age 9, leaving me financially atthe mercy of the "KING"! As icallhim....After many health issues , a very bad reaction to opiods, near death experiences. , and major surgery, the abuse has become more open and uncontrolled , almost dissociative ., bpd like... and even though he has moved out got a place for him and younger ( much younger) girlfriend, he states to daughter that this is where he lives just doesnt sleep here?!? Strangely he kept up his good guy image for years and even had me puzzled, thinking he was POSSESSED, for real ... lol, because he always did for others amdwas more than ready to set aside anything he wanted to do for ANYONE! He has convincingly mAde me look like the depressed withdrawn nonsocial umhappy recovered drug addict over protective mother / wife, trying to show reason for his infidelities.... even convincing my family of such. Always being the kids favorite, his daughter is quick to protect him from any rules or judging by me , the full time caretaker.... i am essentially the only one tht can save myself, i feel saddened by the loss of hope i feel for my daughters father, knowing unless a miracle happens, this will remain for him. And i feeling at times copelled to leav them both wpuld never do so, i jystify staying by believing God chose me bcuz i can HANDLE IT, and the deep deep sadness for the man i will always love, or feel such EMPATHY FOR. This is real people , i know!

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        Sparkster Publishing 11 months ago from United Kingdom

        Just wanted to let everyone know that I have now started a new support group on Facebook for former/recovering victims of this kind of abuse: N.A.R.C - Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Center.

        This is a closed group, anyone on FB can see the group and it's members but only members can see posts (this may change to a private/secret group at some point). The group can be found at

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        yes 12 months ago

        I made the mistake of going to the police for help after coming to term with a considerable amount of sexual abuse as a child. Very long story short, they profiled me as a sexual predator, harassed me relentlessly, tried to find a reason to arrest me, and after they discovered that I have long term psychiatric medical records proving definitively that I'm actually a good person, i.e., none of the above, now they're doing exactly what you've described above. It's been going on for a while now and I'm sick of it. They keep trying to push me to suicide. I'm amazed. I thought the police helped people, but now I know that all they do is identify people of certain groups that they don't like, and attack. If the person turns out like me, a good person who has never hurt a soul, who can prove in court that he's "none of the above", they still try to "get rid" of that person, either through entrapment, which has failed numerous times, or by what you call "pernicious abuse", which they can't seem to stop doing. They want me dead because they messed up.

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        Debb.v 12 months ago

        Am married to such an abuser just had 4 yr anniversary, I have made the mistake of telling him and fighting him every step of the way that I'm on to him andive now developed a heart condition. His first wife 9 yrs his junior died of alcohol poisoning 12 yrs ago and I was very compassionate towards him for that reason however, I get it now and her brother had ideas it was my husband's doing that killed her which I thought was awful of the brother but I get it now unfortunately. I have depleted all of my pension paying off his debts mostly and he has created a financial nightmare for me and has done exactly as written made me look bad without my doing but his deciet and lies and manipulation I have been keeping track as much as I can however, he's so sneaky and his outside circles are completely engaged unaware of who he really is. He has also done damage to my 2 adult kids who had never been in trouble before coming to live with him 5 yrs ago and when I wasn't home would tell them they were losers and never amount to anything

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        Amt 12 months ago

        I think I'm in a relationship like this but it's been so long and we fight so often that I don't know if I'm the abuser or being abused I do know I'm the one who's always trying something anything to stop the nonstop violence and she is the one who's always pushing to fight but we both are victims of child abuse mine all extremely violent she was almost key word almost molested by a family member (luckiest kid ever)the first time he was going to abuse her he got caught by another in the family before thankfully but she's still 30 years later traumatized now me I was brutally abused severely from starving me to breaking my nose and crushing my sinus cavity I caught TB (I'm under 45 years old) TB really yes in the good ole US but I was malnourished beaten and had a leaning disability that was not caught by crappy teachers I had so if 2 people ever existed that shouldn't be together its us but it does suck cause I'm severely paranoid and I know I am think about that one so I can send out some really mixed signals but she is the same with one exception she never tries to fix help or in any fashion want to discuss repairing it just how every thing is everyone's fault but her she didn't know she slept with my best friend until he told me if she doesn't admit it it never happen 7 Times but I'm no saint just to crazy to know what I should do

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        Janet 12 months ago

        I am currently at this point. Completely isolated. Soul shattered. He is still cycling me with hoovering and devaluing. 11 years. I feel I only exist. And I am not sure why anymore murder is a correct term for what happens to you. I will never be the same. His 13 year old daughter did commit suicide and her journals revealed her struggle with not feeling good enough for her father. I am trying to go no contact very strong trauma bond in place. Lost my friends and what's left of my family (3 adult children) sometimes he is the only person who I have contact with for days on end. He tells me it's because only he cares about me. I am losing my strength to fight him.

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        Dutch Bolten 12 months ago

        My daughter just committed suicide by hanging to end the emotional abuse from her narcissistic and sociopath partner. Medical Investigator told me this is a classical abuse case. Why is there a law against Psychological Murder?

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        Tamara Yancosky Moore 12 months ago

        This has been extremely difficult to heal from- and this is an understatement. I still feel like my head has been through some sort of wringer. I still have Cognitive Dissonance from it, and find my mind continuing to wander back to the events, constantly questioning, researching, looking for validation, seeking answers, and lost in my thoughts over all the distortions, and all the finely-tuned tricks that were played out, on me, so mastermindedly. I do not know if I'll ever be released of this hypnotic hold it has over me. My brain cannot comprehend this type of abuse, it goes over, and over, and over it, nonstop, trying to make sense of it, but cannot do so. It's very exhausting.

        Thank you for your articles!


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        Kim 12 months ago

        Nailed it

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        lifestudent 12 months ago

        you have portrayed this twisted reality better than any resource i've read thus far. it's so validating to read such an accurate portrayal of a situation that cannot be described nor understood by anyone who hasn't experienced this first hand. the lack of awareness and resources available for those who've suffered from this specific type of abuse is very disheartening. mental health professionals need to make this their highest priority in terms of research. innocent people are in danger and they don't even know it. the public needs to be educated and aware of these devils in disguise because no one deserves to be blindsided by this type of evil.

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        Cherise Brandon 12 months ago

        This article sounds like the story of my life with my mother and my biological family. I was abused in every way possible by one or the other of my mother, father, brother or sister. I truly believe that my mother is the most responsible. She never wanted me - this is something that she told me directly in no uncertain terms. She made it obvious by the way she treated me. I truly feel that my father and siblings took advantage of the fact that my mother didn't care about me and treated me the way that they did because they knew that there would be no backlash from my mother. They used the situation completely to their advantage. There was physical abuse and I was placed in extremely inappropriate situations which could be interpreted as sexual involving my father. I was placed in many situations as a child that were far beyond what a child could ever be expected to handle. I feel like I have been tortured and I can't get past the memories and the hurt resulting from the things that were done to me. The fact that the abuse, disregard and disrespect were inflicted by my mother and family makes it all the worse for me. Because I was shown in so many ways that I was not loved, it is extremely hard for me to accept that anyone can love me. I feel useless and worthless. The thoughts of the things that I have endured are overwhelming me and I don't know how much longer I can live feeling this way. Other people, including my husband and children, cannot understand why this affects me so much and I don't know how to explain it to them to make them understand. I have three children who I have raised to the best of my ability and have made sure taht they know that I love them dearly and that they can always count on me to support them. I love my husband and believe that he loves me - he is the most patient man and has dealt with my issues with my family for as long as we have been a couple - which is over 30 years; but I'm worried that it's taking a toll now that I may not be able to make right. The hurt is so deep and so raw - it defines me. My mother has been dead for nearly 10 years but the memories of all of the things that she said and did to me are still with me. It's like they define me. Every special time in my life that I should have been able to enjoy is overshadowed by something that she said or did to make sure that I was unhappy. I need to know how to get past her brainwashing so I can be happy and finally truly live.

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        lupita 13 months ago

        I've been mentally abused, well still am i wish i could find the courage in me to leave this man.

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        Jkhn 13 months ago

        My spouse commited suicide 4 years ago-

        24 years I battled with cheating with family- strangers. The mental abuse was gas lighting - I feared him- I feared to leave him. His end escalated to a final effort to control. Law enforcement was the only thing that separated us. A homicide - suicide situation. But he unfortunately would not seek help. I and my daughter have been left with severe issues. This article is accurate and very revealing of my experience. To exactly pin which one fits is difficult due to each category has behaviors that I have experienced.

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        wg 13 months ago

        I have a son that suffers from depression and is divorced now but there is a daughter involved which his X will not give him access to ! year now since being able to see his daughter. He has had suicidle thoughts. What can I do to help and stop this nonsense of this person that I have felt is narsasistic.

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        BRAD GREY 13 months ago

        Thank you, this information needs to be widely shared.

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        amc 13 months ago

        wow, so there are people who know about this, so there is truth somewhere, every word you say is so true. Until reading this, I though tn nobody knows about this situation, or could understand. yes, as you say, the victim cannot talk to anybody ...

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        Pam 13 months ago

        This is where my ex husband whom I later learnt is a narc was headed with me. On one occasion when we disagreed, he told me to my face that I would commit suicide but he would never feel haunted over it. All these were happening when I was already financially ruined but thank God that I had just secured a job a few months earlier. I later decided to escape with our children (8 &6 yrs) who also equally being abused. I left everything ....household items including personal things...i just needed to be free. I moved to another neighbourhood and rented an apartment.. ..OMG, av never felt this good as I feel now. These people can make you take away your own life....

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        Alex 13 months ago

        the leeds West Yorkshire police, ambulance and council have been using gang stalking and since several individuals started this on twitter, I have had my entire life silently destroyed beyond belief, I am not allowed to use my computer without the crazy ambulance and police letting me know they are monitoring everything I do and if Im in town trying to privately message by phone my family, I've had individuals knowing and letting me know what Im doing on my phone, stalking me trying to distress me. Some things got so disturbing somebody thought it was an harassing illusionist crossing the boundaries of experimenting on a member of the public to see how fast they can cause me to have a nerves breakdown. Who ever is doing this is a harasser, has no boundaries and takes pleasure in tormenting members of the public. Its cruel, abusive, distressing and confusing what they have been doing to me in this city its destroyed me and ruined everything I have.

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        Kin Kin Kee 13 months ago

        My father was a psychotic New Ager narcopath and started lecturing me about the universe when I was 11. When I was a bit older he dragged me into various cults, which further cemented the sick dimension he created for me to live in. It took him only a few years to turn me against myself and become one with him. I lost everything real, my essence, instead becoming a miniature version of him, being mean to others and parroting what he and spiritual leaders always said. I couldn't get any help because I was in denial about being abused, because I was groomed to take his side. I felt like something was horribly wrong at all times but his brainwashing was stronger so those feelings were pushed away as much as possible. I learned nothing about the world or people in the vital formative years which were stolen from me. Even after getting far away from him as an adult, the destruction of my life persisted, at my own hands. At this point, having lost absolutely everything and everyone, all I am left with is a mind shattered to a million pieces and no future.

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        mjdsqt 14 months ago

        I'm yet another person admitting this happened to me. My wife of 20 years has managed to destroy my reputation with a false restraining order, and now has many people believing that I am an abuser despite years of mental abuse by her. She is very covert and it happened gradually. First strong signs were 7 years ago, but really intensified the last 2-3. I really believed I was the problem and tried every way to improve myself, but she never reciprocated. Everything in our lives spiraled out of control, (finances, children, housekeeping). I was the only one who ever felt responsible and tried to do anything about it. I eventually resorted to constantly yelling in frustration in a house where there was no discipline, accountability, or respect. The discard came when I finally unmasked her in texts to my daughter that were highly disrespectful to me.

        I've been kicked out of my house for three months now. I have thought of suicide but would never do it to my loved ones. My extended family initially were manipulated to conspire with her, but are now being emotionally and financially supportive. I probably would have run off and become homeless without them. Even still, I don't know if my career will survive. I don't know if my health will hold up. I worry constantly that she will find a way to put me in jail. I'm afraid to talk to my fiends and explain this. I still pay her bills. She still controls me.

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        Invisible 14 months ago

        Some of us need help from this but there is none..

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        The abuse never ends. 14 months ago

        Wonderful article. Just when I believe it was over because my abuser has died their is someone to take his place. His brother, he has picked up where his brother left off. Manipulative my 16 year. It is more than I can take. I have a whole new fight that seems to be a loosing battle since my daughter is now 16 soon to be 17 and he contacts her behind my back and he tells her to lie to me and she can do what she wants as long as she doesn't tell me and all alone making me the bad guy. She makes accuses for the nasty way he has been treating me and talking to me. My daughter says "well he is under stress, he is going through a lot"