I'm Being Watched—How to Deal With Stalkers and Spies

Updated on February 4, 2019
theraggededge profile image

A long time ago, I had a stalker. He still pops up now and then. I like to think I can help others in the same situation.

How to find out if someone is watching you, and what to do about it if they are.
How to find out if someone is watching you, and what to do about it if they are.

Who Is Watching Me?

Have you got an odd feeling that somebody is watching you? You may see a fleeting movement out of the corner of your eye or hear strange noises when the house is quiet. You wonder if your home is under surveillance, so search the internet: "somebody is watching me.” The results are not helpful... mostly useless links to song lyrics. Nothing seems to reflect exactly how you feel: alone, vulnerable, angry, scared, and violated.

What's the difference between spying, stalking, and surveilling?

A spy is anyone who observes you secretly. A stalker is someone who spies on you repeatedly, for their own psychological or emotional reasons, with motives that are akin to harassment and intimidation. But surveillance is simply a close observation of a person who's under suspicion. So while a spy's motives might be unclear, a stalker's motives are twisted, selfish, and personal. If you are under surveillance, on the other hand, you are being watched because someone is trying to figure out if you've done something wrong. Surveillance is less personal and more purposeful.

Spying or stalking might be done by a jealous ex boyfriend, a nosy neighbor, or an obsessed acquaintance, while surveillance might be performed by a company, a private investigator, or the government.

Below, you'll find different instructions to fit each different scenario of being watched.

What If You Really Are Being Watched?

If you feel sure that you are being spied on, the first thing to do is trust your instincts. Next, there are several things you can do to determine and prove that it is happening. Don’t think it will go away, because it won’t. It's extremely important to take your suspicions seriously. Put yourself into a position of power and take action.

What to Do If You Suspect You Are Being Spied On:

  1. Determine who your stalker is and why they are spying on you, if you can. Below, you'll find a long list of possible offenders and motives.
  2. Look for and collect proof of their spying. Scroll down for details about where and how to look for evidence.
  3. Learn how to prevent and/or prosecute the person who's stalking you. You have many options, and each is described in full below.

Find Out Who Your Stalker Is

Sit down and brainstorm a list of possible suspects. In the majority of cases, the person watching you will be known to you—a personal stalker. The following is a list of possibilities to help jog your memory and generate a long list of all the potential culprits.

Types of Personal Stalkers

  • The most common stalker is an ex or current partner or someone who feels rejected. People who display signs of jealousy or feel rejected are number one on the list of possible watchers. However, this type of stalker wants you to know that it’s them. Their ego demands that you recognize their ‘devotion.’ They are convinced that you need to learn the truth, that deep down you are completely in love with them and just need to be shown the error in your thinking. This behavior is a sign of mental illness. You won’t be able to convince them of this, so you need to contact someone who might be able to help. In every case, report them to the police.
  • Another kind of personal stalker is someone whom you may have upset or angered in the past. Even inadvertently. Consider the people in your neighborhood, at work, at businesses and spots you frequent. This type is less likely to advertise their identity; they just want to make you suffer in their desire for revenge.
  • Neighbors are also quite common among stalkers. After all, the closer people live, the more opportunity there is to both rile the emotions and maintain constant surveillance. You may have caught their attention or incurred their wrath in some way and now, the boundary between you and them is being breached.
  • Then there are the randoms: Someone who has taken a fancy to you, someone who you may have exchanged a few words with and gone merrily on your way, leaving them thinking that your interaction meant far more than it actually did. These are the obsessives.
  • The last variety is the predatory stalker. These are the ones who care nothing for you as a human being, they just want to own you—even for just a few minutes. These people, thank goodness, are very rare. Nevertheless, every sensible person, male or female, should take reasonable precautions when out alone. Rape alarms, pepper sprays, and a noisy dog are all good methods of protection. Better still is to have some basic knowledge, and practice, of self-defense skills.

What do stalkers have in common?

Whatever category your stalker comes under, they all share some commonalities:

  • They are convinced that they are in the right, that they deserve to watch you or that you belong to them in some way.
  • They have no idea—or don’t care—what effect their behavior has on you.
  • They are able to rationalize their actions to any degree. In fact, they don’t think they are doing anything wrong or out of the ordinary.

Over 85% of Victims Are Stalked by Someone They Know

Is Your Ex Is Stalking You?

The following are examples of stalker-like behavior:

  • If he shows up wherever you are, unexpectedly and uninvited.
  • If he's monitoring you on social media.
  • If he keeps finding ways to contact you, even after you've changed your numbers and accounts.
  • If he keeps tabs on you via shared contacts.
  • If he enters your house, even when he doesn't have a key.
  • If he sends gifts even after you've tried to end things with him.
  • If he installs spyware on your devices or keeps track of you via gps.
  • If he seems to be keeping tabs on and collecting information about you.
  • If he is spreading rumors or posting personal information about you.
  • If he refuses to leave you alone. If he doesn't take "no" for an answer and pursues a relationship with you any way he can get it.

Signs Your Neighbor Is Spying On You

  • They know things about you that they shouldn’t know.
  • You suspect that they are listening via some sort of device.
  • Your mail is being tampered or interfered with.
  • They have entered your home or property while you were out.
  • They stalk you on social media.

For more information, read My Neighbors Are Spying On Me: What Can I Do?

How to catch a stalker and protect yourself.
How to catch a stalker and protect yourself.

How to Get Rid of a Personal Stalker

Step #1 - Collect Evidence

Keep a written record of every single incident, however trivial, with dates and times. Take photos, recordings, and screenshots, if needed. Keep track of any witnesses (with names and contact information). Keep backed-up electronic records, too—remember that your phone or computer may be compromised, so have a second device that no one knows about. For information about how to check your house and car for spy devices, read How to Find Spy Devices in Your Home, Car, Cell Phone, or Computer.

Step #2 - Reset Phones, Computers, Passwords, and Social Media

  • If your stalker might ever have had had access to your devices, they could have installed spyware or GPS tracking devices without your knowledge, so the smartest thing to do is get new ones.
  • Even if you don't think they've installed spyware, reset your devices to factory settings and choose new passwords for all sites you frequent, including banks, social media, entertainment sites, and online shopping. This may only be a temporary solution, but do it anyway.
  • If the stalking was online, then deactivate your social media accounts. Try setting new ones up under a different name and share your profiles with trusted friends one at a time, over a period of weeks. At the very least, check all your privacy settings and make sure you're not sharing with the public.
  • Don’t post your life on social media. People can pick up all sorts of clues about you, your routine, places you go, etc. Keep posts general.

Step #3 - Report the Stalker

As soon as you have one or two pieces of evidence, go to the police and register a complaint. These days, they seem to be taking stalking and harassment more seriously than in previous years. Even if they can’t act because there is not sufficient evidence, there will be a record of your complaint so any officer you speak to subsequently will be able to look up the case record. Don’t be worried that the police will get fed up by your complaints. Keep them updated at all times.

Step #4 - If You Know Your Stalker, Employ the Gray Rock Method

If the stalker is known to you and regularly tries to make contact, use the Gray Rock Method. This term was coined by the victim of a psychopath stalker who learned how to deal with him. It is a useful technique when you have to speak to your stalker because you have some common interest, such as a child together.

The Gray Rock Method:

  • Respond only when you have to.
  • Keep your responses as short, boring, and monotonous as possible.
  • Add no inflection to your voice, use bland vocabulary, and display no emotion.
  • Only give essential facts in order to conclude the interaction.

This method works well if the stalker shows psychopathic or sociopath tendencies. They thrive on drama so don’t give them what they want. Eventually, their behavior will change as they lose interest in you. Gray Rock can enable you to become invisible to that person, and any other who shows an unwanted interest in you. By making yourself as boring as possible, they will soon look for more interesting prey.

About 1 in 5 Victims Are Stalked by a Stranger

Is Stalking or Spying On Someone a Crime?

Stalking is usually an accumulation of several legal acts which, when combined, become a crime. For example, sending emails is not a crime, watching someone's house is not a crime, and following them is not a crime, but when the motive is sociopathic, when larger patterns of intent are established, if probable cause can be established, and if the recipient of these actions starts getting scared, then innocent acts turn into stalking.

Stalking is usually perpetrated by men on women. It's usually a man who feels rejected by a woman whom he believes owes him something. He thinks he is entitled to her attention and if he doesn't get it, he takes matters into his own hands and forces intimacy any way he can.

Is stalking illegal?

Stalking is illegal, but it requires sufficient proof. To prove it's happening, you must be able to clearly prove a pattern of behavior, that threats were made (implicitly or explicitly), and that there was criminal intent to cause fear. With proof, you can get the court to issue a protective or restraining order.

Most stalkers stop their creepy behavior if they are confronted by police, but if they don't stop, then it becomes a criminal matter. This is why it's important to involve the police.

Since anti-stalking laws and legislation vary from state to state, check out this Stalking Resource Center to find out about your state's policies.

Is it legal for an owner to install cameras to spy on me in an AirBnB?

No, it's not legal, but it's done all the time. To read more (and find out what to do about it), read How to Check Your Airbnb Rental for Spy Cameras.

How to Catch a Stalker by Collecting Evidence

It is not recommended that you confront your stalker yourself. Instead, do what you can to collect evidence so the police can help you.

  • Keep a log describing every single incident, however small, including dates and times.
  • Take photos, video, and audio recordings, if needed. Have hidden security cameras mounted around your property. You can buy many relatively inexpensive counter-surveillance devices online.
  • Keep track of any witnesses (with names and contact information).
  • Keep all emails, texts, letters, voicemail, and records and screenshots of any other electronic communications. Even if they are sent anonymously, each email contains IP information which can help investigators find your stalker, don't delete them.
  • Write down the details and license plate numbers of any suspicious vehicles.
  • Hire an investigator or PI to watch and collect evidence against your suspected stalker.

Traps for Stalkers

Again, it is not recommended that you physically trap, confront, or even interact with your stalker.

  • On the other hand, by using a device like this Anti Spy Signal Detector, you can discover a hidden microphone transmitter or video camera in your home.
  • Hidden cameras placed strategically might be helpful, too. If you can't afford cameras, you might be able to rent the equipment.
  • If you don't feel equipped to do your own counter-surveillance, hiring an investigator or PI who has access to all the latest gadgets and tech to watch and collect evidence for you can help build your case.

Why Would Someone Be Under Surveillance?

  • If you are a witness to a crime or involved in any legal proceeding.
  • If you are filing for divorce or suing for custody of your children.
  • If you owe money.
  • If you have filed for disability or bankruptcy.
  • You work for a company that is being spied on by a competitor.
  • If your work makes you interesting in some way (if outsiders might be looking to capitalize on your knowledge or take your company to court for any reason).
  • You engage in criminal activity.
  • You have knowledge that could damage reputations or projects.
  • You are involved in a legal case and the other side may be seeking to build up evidence to discredit you.
  • If some individual has taken an unhealthy interest in you.
  • If you are close with another person who fits any of the descriptions above.
  • The government is tracking you. This is a given. Most governments now collect metadata on everyone. In the UK, CCTV tracks your every move if you live in a city.
  • You have a mobile device, a tablet, or a cell phone. Your apps, browsers, and devices are tracking you, your surfing habits, your social media posting—everything. If you take a photo, GPS data is transmitted to reveal your location. The only way to prevent this is to remove the battery.

Are You Under Surveillance?

If you suspect you are under surveillance by some sort of organization or even if an individual is watching you, read: How to Find Spy Devices in Your Home and take the steps outlined therein to find out if your home has been bugged. Remember that these days most bugging takes place via an electronic device. It couldn’t be easier for someone to install an invisible app on your phone, or hack into your laptop’s camera or microphone. They can even be installed remotely.

How to find out if you're under surveillance, and what to do if you are.
How to find out if you're under surveillance, and what to do if you are.

Signs That You Are Under Surveillance

  • Vans parked outside your home. Often, they appear like innocuous domestic-type business such as plumbing, heating, building, that sort of thing. Unless you can see actual work being carried out at a neighbor’s home, then be suspicious.
  • Unusual activity, strangers in the neighborhood, a change in the usual routine are usually nothing to worry about. However, you can sometimes feel in your gut that things are ‘off.’ So keep your antennae alert for anything out of the ordinary. However, the very nature of these methods mean that the operatives who carry them out are so skilled that 99 out of 100 people will never know that they are being watched.
  • Strange noises on your house or cell phone and a sudden, fast battery drainage are signs that someone might have installed spy cameras without your knowledge or accessed your devices remotely.
  • You notice drones overhead. The ease of use and fast advancing technology makes spying-by-drone commonplace.

How to Prevent Surveillance

In short, you can’t. Unless you can prove that the surveillance is illegal, threatening, harassing or damaging, if you want to live in general society, you have to accept that your information and behavior is monitored by many agencies.

Alternatively, you can change your lifestyle, move to a location where you can live off-grid or become a nomad.

Am I Being Followed by the Government?

Yes, the government is tracking you. They are tracking everyone. Most governments have become quite adept at collecting metadata on everyone. In the UK, CCTV tracks your every move if you live in a city.

Who Else Is Surveilling Me?

Data brokers, social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, websites you visit, apps you use, search engines and browsers, advertisers, and many others have reasons to collect information about you.

Being Watched: It Might be Your Imagination

It starts with a minor incident, such as a trash bin being knocked over late at night, then perhaps the sound of a squirrel in the roof. Your fertile imagination builds on it and attributes every sound, unexpected beep on your phone and passing footsteps to your ‘somebody is watching me’ fear. The fear becomes a phobia.

Although spying does happen, nine times out of ten it is nothing more than a feeling. Many people experience it. Severe cases are called “The Truman Show Delusion” after the movie where Jim Carey’s character realizes that his whole life is just a TV show being broadcast to millions and he is the only one who's unaware that he is the main character.

But for most of us, the spying is all in our heads. If you can be objective enough to realize that your fears are unsubstantiated, but they persist nevertheless, then a course of counseling, a visit to a psychotherapist or even an honest chat with a trusted friend can set your mind at ease.

Have You Been Watched?

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Questions & Answers

  • I have been spied on for over a year. I've moved states and have quit jobs over and over. I feel helpless. I have family members involved, and the more I run from it, the worse it gets. I've reported it to the FBI and the police, and it just makes it worse. I constantly have my location shared while I'm driving and my phone bugged. It has turned in to a game that involves thousands of people, but with little proof, is there anything I can do?

    And that's the key. You have to collect proof. Keep records. Write everything down. If you see and hear these things happening, then there must be proof of them, yes? Try to determine why you have been targeted. Try to remember the first time you became aware of it. Write or record as much information as you can recall.

    Then, once you have the proof, contact the Stalking Resource Center - link provided in the article.

  • My sister started hearing voices months ago. She swears they are real people. The more I listen to her, the more it sounds real. Is it possible an agency is watching and listening? She thinks the house is monitored. She said they were surprised she could hear them and I think maybe its the metal plate in her head from an accident years ago. Is this possible?

    Anything is possible. Follow the advice given in the article and also here: https://hubpages.com/consumer-electronics/How-to-F...

    As far as the metal plate is concerned, I don't have any suggestions apart from doing some research on the possibility.

  • Is it illegal to grab and break a cell phone if someone is taking pictures of me? I also saw a drone right in front of my house. How can I stop that as well?

    You'll have to check your local laws. For instance, in the UK, the first scenario could be viewed as criminal damage. The second one is being dealt with by new laws regarding the licensing of drones and where people are allowed to fly them.

    The best thing to do is to mount your own counter-surveillance. If someone is taking pictures of you, whip out your own camera and take pictures of them. Same with the drone.

  • What should I do if the stalker threatens to kidnap me?

    Record the threats and go to the police with the evidence.

  • What could you suggest when game cameras have been spotted and tampered with? This has gone on for more than three years. Law enforcement refuses to help. I'm disabled, living on SSI and have no wifi. I need suggestions for a very small camera with a wide viewing range, night vision, waterproof, and easily disguised that would go unnoticed and not put out any light. I've tried game cameras, but they were spotted and tampered with.

    You should contact a specialist security company. They can advise you once they know the location and your specific requirements. Camera technology is moving on all the time. I'm sure there is something out there to suit you.

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    • profile image

      Watergurl 

      2 weeks ago

      Thanks Bev G for remembering me and not judging me. This is the only site where i can vent about my life. You gave me some good advice of what not to do. I have an aggressive personality. I've gone up ro some of the perps, and all they do is laugh when i ask them why. It's just a game to them. I do react to their actions, and I guess that is feeding in to their mental illness. That's a really good point not to acknowledge them or what they are doing, as the whole situation has grown. Again, thank you for keeping your blog going!

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      2 weeks ago from Wales, UK

      Hi Watergurl, I remember you from last year. So sorry to hear this torture continues.

      I suggest documenting every incident on a blog. Include your photos, if possible. You said they are tracking your internet activity, so make sure you write your blog as if they are nothing more than annoying mosquitoes. Just laugh at their antics, call them childish. Don't rant or get angry because then they are achieving their objective.

      Good luck.

    • profile image

      Watergurl 

      2 weeks ago

      I just want to put this out there, as CVive been a victim for over 6 years. It's basically informative. Yes, your television is a method of keeping tabs on you. They broke mine. Also, each time i leave my home one of the tiny buttons is broken or removed. My television has been disabled, and so has my remote ctrl. My home is entered each time my child and i leave home. Zippers on my clothing have been cut off. All my clothing and linen have been snagged. My bed and other furniture have been broken. The frame on my brand new sofa was broken. The pillows on my sofa were replaced w/similar pillows. Our shower curtain is ripped daily. One of the leaders who started this habitual stalking owns security companies that follow me everywhere. My home has been infiltrated with technology w/o my permission. My food is tampered with or taken, or replaced w/rotten food, or poison. Ive gotten sick from eating or drinking certain food or drinks.

      These stalkers take what they want from my home. No one understands unless they've been victimized. They try to run into me daily. They tailgate me. My car is damaged regularly. My grocery bags are ripped open and tampered with. My car has been soaped from the inside. Oil is placed on my armrest in a circle. I've seen ppl/strangers. running from my car. I been to the local police and FBI. I can sometimes see someone or else moving on my cell phone. I've mailed letters tat never reached their destination. I've been surrounded by a motorcycle gang. Ppl get paid to do this. Also, law enforcement protects these sexual predators involved in sex trafficking. It runs deep. Veterans and others are involved. Start taking pictures of the stalkers. You will be surprised at what you find. This is a sport for some of the wealthy perpetrators involved. They will try and make you look like a liar or delusional, even when you can verify what you've seen. They use technology help them. I've seen them on tablets, walking around a store or other like they work there. I believe it's a sport to these predators. They connect w/ each other on the dark web. I know this because I watch too. Ive said enough. Im tired of being violated. Never, ever trust law enforcement, b/c the ones whom you think will help you are the ones making sure the stalking never ends. They police and detectives protect the criminals. Vets, firefighters, and city employees are also involved. I've seen my picture on a perp's cell phone. One even had a picture of my car and where it was parked at a doctor's appointment. I leaned over the stalker's shoulder where he was sitting, waiting for my appointment to end. These individuals are criminally insane. Turn it around by journaling, and taking their pictures. Don't be afraid. Oh, they will also shadow you on the internet. Of note, if this matters, I'm a Christian and thought I was exempt from smthg like this, wrong. Oh, never give up. Oh, and when you try and share, people, even family will not understand the truth. They might ask "why you." I say b/c some ppl are sick and act normal. Look at the world around you. Some people are criminally insane. I never even thought of doing the unspeakable things that have happened to me to another person.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      2 weeks ago from Wales, UK

      If you have a smart TV it can be hacked. Most have built-in microphones.

      https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/security/your-smart-t...

    • profile image

      rather not say 

      2 weeks ago

      can people spy on me threw my tv. I know and can't prove it. I can't figure out the device they are using to do this with. any ideas? i would like to know the device

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      7 weeks ago from Wales, UK

      You need another IT expert to help you get this resolved, Tony.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      7 weeks ago from Wales, UK

      That's weird, Gadfly. Can you contact Linkedin directly? Explain the situation.

    • profile image

      Tony 

      7 weeks ago

      Since i last commented, he has hacked 3 of my phones and just learned he hacked my new laptop,and my Router..

      I am dealing with red tape when it comes to the legal system.

      He is an IT expert and that does not help the situation.

    • profile image

      Gadfly 

      2 months ago from Olde London Towne

      Unbeknown to me. my profile has been submitted to the app 'Linkedin' without my permission. Unable to access it as i do not have a password. It is being checked on a weekly basis.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      3 months ago from Wales, UK

      It must be, Tony.

    • profile image

      Tony 

      3 months ago

      I am a man being cyber stalked by ex roommate who is a man.

      Unsettling AF.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      4 months ago from Wales, UK

      Yes, I read that. It seems news presenters are quite frequently targeted.

    • limpet profile image

      Ian Stuart Robertson 

      4 months ago from London England

      Serial nuisance gets two and a half year sentence for pestering a B.B.C. presenter with threatening mail.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      4 months ago from Wales, UK

      Maybe your girlfriend was on the phone? If you don't trust her, why is she still your girlfriend?

    • profile image

      Cain 

      4 months ago

      Ibam being told i am crazy n which im to the point i am about to lose my mind over these things going on. But i have a security camera n my house and several times i have had audio footage come back of my gf coming into the room and entering the closet talking to someone who i have never seen but u can clearly hear her and the "others" talking. I have tore the place apart looking but she always seems to be one step ahead of me. And ever simce she got a domestic on me for no reason its as if people from our road r watching me. I have red handed caught one folowing me with his lights out twice

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      5 months ago from Wales, UK

      Cesar, I haven't approved your comment as there are too many identifying personal details. You are welcome to leave another one, but leave the ID/address off.

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      5 months ago from U.S.A.

      Hello, theraggededge,

      Following some of your very insightful advice, I don't keep a high internet profile, avoiding creating my own website and visiting very infrequently Facebook or any social media account. So far, this has reduced any problems with stalkers or vengeful individuals.

      Using a website where the focus is creativity, such as Hub Pages, for many of my interactions adds another layer of protection from those who may have less than genuine motives.

      Taking a few preventive measures can be the cure.

      Thanks again.

      May you have peace during this holiday season.

      Sincerely,

      Tim

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      5 months ago from Wales, UK

      You're an angel, Tim. xx

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      5 months ago from U.S.A.

      Of course, I would not have any objections. I've read enough of your posts and articles to know you are a sincere soul who believes in offering help to others.

      I am honored, my HP colleague.

      Much respect,

      Sincerely,

      Tim

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      5 months ago from Wales, UK

      This is great, Tim. Would you have any objection to me including some of this in the main article? With credit, of course. If you have a website, I'd be happy to add a link.

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      5 months ago from U.S.A.

      It's important to note that in this world where there are many technological devices, such as pumps at the petrol station that suddenly starts talking while you are pumping gas, we may suspect something that may not be happening at all. This world is becoming more and more crowded, and we may encounter a substantial number of people on any given day. Therefore we should carefully assess whether or not we are acting paranoid. I was just suggesting that variable should be looked at carefully in determining whether or not something is happening.

      Are you taking medications which may impact your perception of reality?

      Do you have family members who had similar experiences?

      Is it ongoing or during certain times of the day or night?

      Has this happened at other points in your life?

      Has your life been relatively quiet until now or have you had disagreements with various people?

      Do you live in an area notorious for criminal activity?

      Are you currently involved with people who are conducting illegal activities even though you are not?

      Are you or your friends, relatives, or other individuals fairly wealthy?

      Do you frequent bars, pubs, clubs, or other places where people gather to party and/or celebrate?

      Are you seeing or have gathered evidence of stalking? Are you hearing voices? Have you been approached?

      This is not discounting in any way the real probability that a person is being monitored without their consent, these are just factors to scrutinize in determining whether a person may be stalked. These are some of the questions the police and a therapist would consider. Examining these variables can help a person decide whether or not imagination is playing a role in the perception of being stalked.

      I hope this helped, Bev G.

      Thanks.

      Much respect and may your holidays be peaceful and rewarding,

      Sincerely,

      Tim

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      5 months ago from Wales, UK

      Thanks for your comment, Tim. Could you elaborate a little about the psychological aspect? It might be useful for other readers.

      Thanks again.

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      5 months ago from U.S.A.

      Hi, Bev G.,

      Great article with useful advice. People do stalk, but people should be careful of their own psychological stability. I've had to help clients who were stalked, and assisted the police on occasion.

      This was a very helpful article, hitting upon the important things for people to consider.

      .

      Much respect,

      Tim

    • profile image

      Watergurl 

      5 months ago

      No one knows the mind of a stalker. Unless you have experienced stalking, you/anyone cannot say what a person is going through. I'm a sane, single black American female who is being stalked by lots of people. One would think I'm a star. Strangers act like they're my best friend, ready to wait until i get out of my vehicle to open doors for me, male and female. These creeps are usually sitting in the parking lot everwhere i go. These individuals know all the doctor's offices that I frequent, grocery stores and more. The individual will be waiting for me to arrive. Some go in with me and shadow me. Some even buy the same groceries as me. My phone and home are compromised. They've even made themselves a guest on my cell phone. Police you say? Well, who are they, as they've made sexual innuendos towards me. So, I suffer in silence. People do not believe this heinous behavior/crime exists. My home and vehicle are entered anytime the stalkers want. Clothes and other items have been taken or destroyed. They wish to make me the victim to be diminished in character. Never say someone is crazy unless you are walking in their shoes. Plus, they're protected because they're also sexual predators.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      5 months ago from Wales, UK

      @Wolf3D Your situation is beyond the scope of this article and my expertize. It's a domestic problem and you need to get help from the relevant people. There may be charitable organizations in your area that can advise you.

      As far as proving that your family are spying on you, there are many suggestions offered here: https://turbofuture.com/consumer-electronics/How-t...

    • profile image

      Wolf3D 

      5 months ago

      I know my girlfriend and father whom I live with share what everything about my life to their friends and so on. I dont know how they are doing it though? everything I speak of or share through my progress to recover from traumatic issues seems to be used against me in a mockery sense. Everyone accuses me of drug usage, when I dont use drugs outside of the pain killers i sustained via concussions and car collision few years ago that never was taking care of. I have continued to educate myself according to my interests since I had to quit school for helping my father who's retired vet. however he and my girlfriend who live together with me, have experienced domestic violence against me and when authorities came, they took them not me. Now I feel they constantly antagonize me for becoming a homebody. Ive found plenty of guilty moments when confronting neighbors randomly and responding to things they thought were undetected. They've treated me like I was autistic, dementia, Asperger, drug user, sociopath, psychopath just because I was vulnerable and thought I could share anxiety panics during a really tough time. Its been 3 years and its to the point where Im on my own and no one likes me. new neighbors moved next door and after hanging out a few times, now they shit talk from their yard knowing im outside. Heres the kicker though, how do they are sync their remarks according to things i speak in my own home? i know their a link between my dad, girlfriend and close friends, but sometimes it seems impossible and it causes more and more issues. Theyre gaslighting me, and trying to drive me insane, and I wish they would grow up. how can I produce unquestionable evidence of their conspiring acts and shut them up once and for all? It seems paranoid but I kid you not, its like they facebook everyone I speak to and share the gossip like Im some animal on display at the zoo. Please help me close this chapter in my life!

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      6 months ago from Wales, UK

      This seems to be a common situation, Nobady. Do a bug sweep, if you can. Collect evidence if possible. As a last resort, go to the police.

      If you can't prove anything, then you have to make a decision: accept the situation or move.

    • profile image

      Nobady 

      6 months ago

      People takeover the 3th floor apartment and I'm in 2th floor wherever i go in my apartment someone follow me for example if i go to my bedroom he or she will follow me or anywhere in apartment i dont know what to do.?

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      6 months ago from Wales, UK

      Tyasha, he's a psychopath and you have to dump him. There is a way and that is to become a 'gray rock'. The technique means you make yourself so boring that he loses interest in you.

      Read this: https://180rule.com/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealin...

      Also Google 'Gray rock method' to find out more.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      7 months ago from Wales, UK

      We had this in one of our bedrooms and then discovered that it was to do with the air con at a neighboring grocery store and also the extractor whizzing around on another nearby property.

      Once we knew what was causing the weird rumbling and whining sounds, they are now easily ignored.

      Unless there is a speaker device planted in your home, there's no way the sound could 'jump' from its source into your bedroom. My advice is to go outside in the dead of night when all is still and see if you can track the sounds.

    • profile image

      Elise Sabatier 

      7 months ago

      Can you tell me how a vengeful neighbor might be causing sleep deprivation by projecting noises into my room during the night. Witnesses who have been at my house reported this, and I have provided the police with recordings of these noises accompanied by my snoring. I've had an electronic sweep done, but it seems a more sophisticated means is used. Can you tell me how it is done? I've read online that other victims of harassment experience same.

    • profile image

      Watergurl 

      10 months ago

      Thank you so much Bev G!! I appreciate ur comments.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      10 months ago from Wales, UK

      Hi Watergurl, I can't be completely 100% certain because I am in the UK, but I am pretty sure you can file a complaint against the police. You must have proof though.

      Know your rights. Research your rights as a civilian. Knowing them gives you strength.

      Collect proof. Can't say it often enough. You must have video, photographic, or audio evidence. Install spy cameras and make sure they are monitored by an unregistered device. Keep copies of everything and leave the copies with a trusted friend.

      Have your home and car swept for bugs. Anti-bugging devices are cheap these days.

      Get your phone cleaned by a professional. Have it reset to factory settings. Better still get a cheap burner and use that for personal calls.

      Get some advice from an attorney. You will need to have proof to show them. Check out whether any are willing to take on a pro-bono case if money is short.

      Good luck.

    • profile image

      Watergurl 

      10 months ago

      I need some insight on this topic b/c I and my teenaged daughter are victims, and it’s quite serious. This is no game b/c the ppl doing it are serious criminals. This just part of our dilemma, it’s law enforcement and other ppl in service positions that are doing it. Our home and vehicle are broken into repeatedly. My phone, internet, home, and car are monitored. It’s a real problem. What’s going on w/ya can’t be made up. This is a severe case of stalking b/c these ppl are criminally insane. It’s just strange why anyone would do such heinous crimes to strangers. We were targeted by a former neighbor. I’ve tried lots of help resources, but the struggle is real b/c I’m a single black female mom. Any suggestions would be nice.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      11 months ago from Wales, UK

      Block the area code to prevent getting any more calls from that area. Contact your telecoms/cellphone provider for advice or check their website for how to deal with nuisance calls.

      Can't help you with the other question because I don't know what you are referring to by 'hacking my every move'?

    • profile image

      Helen Y Williams 

      11 months ago

      I keep getting phone calls from a area I never been in, also hacking my every move how can I correct this.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      12 months ago from Wales, UK

      Do you wake at the same time every day, Azam?

    • profile image

      Azam 

      12 months ago

      It is years I notice some one or some groups are watching me. I even think they ate using motion detector because anytime I open my eyes in my bedroom or even in middle of night if I get up my neighbors do something to make sure I know they are watching.

      When I was in relationship 8 years ago I told police and they did not do anything, last year I recorded evidence to show police it is not my imagination they do some specific move in specific situations and asked police to investigate but nothing.

      Every morning I open my eyes my neighbor open and close his door and then garbage truck start working. It is a small sample of how I know they are watching inside my apartment. What should I do and stop bullies?

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      12 months ago from Wales, UK

      So he's not your friend at all? It's possible to remotely install an app. Reset your phone, and drop all contact with him.

    • profile image

      Bentleyonthego 

      12 months ago

      A while ago i found spy ware (keylogger) on my computer. I thought things ended then, it was like four years ago, and i no longer had the device. Plus had several replacement handsets since then, and this one i havent really let out of my site (except when i am home alone and shower).

      The other day my friend repeated something I said several weeks before when i was alone in my room talking to myself (its how I do things when I am working on something and alone). He said i told him over the phone but we had no phone conversations that week or any at all till we finally got together a few month or two later. He refuses to talk about it, I checked my phone bill no calls to him occured (except two calls the same night first one i didnt answer, it was late and we werent talking at the time, he called an hour or so later, this one i did answer, he said "hi how are you?" he sounded tired, and then i assumed he passed out, the call lasted about a min.

      After the insident of him repeating what I said, I called verizon, they said that the calls in question, they werent from his number in there system, but my number, with a +1911 country code instead.

      It confuses the hell out of me, cause he always calls me a stalker. Also when it comes to my devices after the incident years earlier I think I keep a pretty close watch on them.

      Its overall weird cause I am not paranoid that someone is watching or listening to me. Yet now I have this instance and have no idea why it could have occured.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      12 months ago from Wales, UK

      Great news, WMS! Glad it helped.

    • profile image

      Why MeStalked 

      12 months ago

      Bev G your advice has changed my life. I brought a speaker that i lay directly on my bathroom floor (which is across from my bedroom). While looking for irrating songs i found Annoying noise compilations on Youtube . These things are 10 and 12 hours long, i choose between, cat screeching(my favorite), air raid sirens, high pitch sound that hurt your ears, and people and baby crying for 10 to 12 hours. When i started playing the gunshots compilations he started back masturbating multiple times a day, immediately after i turned it off. So i play the different gunshots all the time now and so far, I've had peace and quiet. For the first time in almost 2 yrs i can sleep with my tv off and when i shut the door to the bathroom i barely hear the speaker which i leave on halfway when im home. When i leave i move the speaker to my bedroom and turn it all the way up and play this high pitch ear bleeding noise that i hope he is not too old to hear, the sound is unbearable, i turn it on and run. Thx Bev your advice was empowering. Still looking for a legal way to deal with this pervert. What he is doing should be illegal.

    • profile image

      Why MeStalked 

      13 months ago

      Thanks Bev G. I really appreciate you writing the article because the first response to situations like mines is the victim is hearing things or imaging being surveillance or paranoid. Its hard to believe a neighbor would do this, or anyone, and its even harder to prove or get help. I thought his friend following me to the groceries store, etc was bad, but with surveillance cameras witnesses and him violating the tpo immediately i was able to get a 1yr protection order (just on my word)because he was doing the exact same actions as Trudy516 nieghbor and it helped that he had a criminal record, that the judge mentioned in court. This guy downstairs does nothing in public, it does not infuriate him like it did his friend when i stopped speaking and pretending like they dont exist.

      Furthr, All the listening jammering devices i have found online i would hear the noise too when im home. All i have is small Bluetooth speakers, but i will invest in some large speakers to place on the floor with an irrating rap/heavy metal song and see what happens. Thanks for the suggestion and thanks for writing the article again.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      13 months ago from Wales, UK

      I still think you should ascertain that there is such a device.

      The song thing was an idea. Of course you can't have it going all the time, but as often as you can bear it. It probably doesn't have to be loud as long as the speaker is facing the floor. You could just do it when he's 'at it'. Something really stupid that kinds of makes fun of him. I can't think of anything, but I'm sure you could find one.

    • profile image

      Why MeStalked 

      13 months ago

      I have not checked for bugging devices. This whole situation is bizarre to me, im just coming to the realization this year through searching the internet for similar problems, about listening devices and how easy they are to buy. The problems i am having fit that scenario.

      I usually turn my tv up really loud when i leave but I will switch to an irrating song on repeat like you suggest. But i have found that not responding to him helps. From what im experiencing if he cant tell if he is being heard he doesn't do it as much. When i was responding it was multiple times a day. Now its only 2 or 3 times a week its loud enough to still be heard thru the tv or he does it when im browsing for something on youtube or netflix to watch. I hope he is giving up.

      Through online research, i have read there are devices that make listening devices useless, like white noise machines. But like you said about the irrating song, how do i keep from hearing it when im home. I like quiet and reading a book, which i can no longer do in my bedroom because of him. My perfect solution would be a device that makes the listening device hear an irrating noise and i hear nothing.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      13 months ago from Wales, UK

      Have you checked for bugging devices, WMS? I wonder if he coughs to disguise the sound of the device being switched on? I expect he uses a microphone and has a speaker taped to the ceiling or something.

      Make sure he sees you wearing headphones. Keep them around your neck and make sure they are great big hard-to-miss ones, thus he may just give up.

      Also, every time you leave the apartment play the most irritating song you know. A really awful, but catchy one. With the speaker face-down on the floor. And, when you're at home and he does his thing, play it. Loudly. You can put your headphones on :D

    • profile image

      Why MeStalked 

      13 months ago

      Bev G thanks for the reply and the article. I have been searching the internet for almost 2 years for some help and similar situations. I have went to management of the apartments and the apartments are not thin enough to be able to hear upstairs neighbors. You can only hear your upstairs neighbor walking. I have also asked my neighbors if they are able to hear thier upstair's neighbors and vice versa, you cannot. I agree with management that the issue is not the apartments because i only hear him cough right before the masturbation. Further, I have never heard his tv, phone, coughing regular, etc. The man Trudy described is similar to mine: 20+ years older, on ssi, lives alone, no family, except he doesnt say a word just looks. I was stupid when i first moved here and introduced myself as his upstairs neighbor and told him to let me know if i make too much noise, just being courteous. A couple weeks after that conversation this issue started. After over a year and almost 2 yrs of this & online researching, i am confident he is using a listening device. I have no idea what he is doing to amplify his masturbation where i can hear it in my apartment, i know its intentional because I do not hear anything else from his apartment and he is louder than the regular sounds and noises from my next door neighbors. Further, it used to happen consistently minutes after i walked in my bedroom and laid down, or walking around in my bedroom until i started leaving the tv on 24 hrs and stopped reacting. I have found over the year that not responding has worked to decrease the frequency. When he does it, I no longer bang on his door and tell him to stop, stomp on the floor or turn on the tv or turn tv up, play music, leave the room, curse so its not multiple times a day anymore ( It was so bad at first, i sleep on my sofa in my living for months). I feel he is the one that should have to move, but i know life is unfair and creeps/perverts like my neighbor seems to know how to exploit the law. Im thinking about buying a white noise device, so i dont have to have my tv on all the time and will seriously consider moving.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      13 months ago from Wales, UK

      I don't think there's anything you can do, Kim. There's no evidence he's doing it to harass you. And he's doing it in the privacy of his home. Could you get the floors soundproofed? Just an extra layer of carpet might do it.

      The fact that you can hear him coughing suggests that the soundproofing is below a reasonable standard, and therefore your own privacy is compromised. Talk to your landlord, or consider moving.

    • profile image

      Kim 

      13 months ago

      Any suggestions on what type of evidence i can present to the police: I have a downstairs neighbor that listens to my activity in my apartment and masturbates. I thought i could solve the problem by leaving my tv on 24 hrs and moving my bed to the other side of my room. That's when i realized how sick and insidious this individual is. Too many times im scrolling searching for a movie to stream and that's when he masterbates. Too many times when im getting out of the shower that when he masturbates. The timing and the rarity of my tv being off, its not coincidence. I have never heard any other sound come from this pervert's apartment expect coughing right before he masturbates, which he stopped the coughing right before because i would leave my bedroom because i knew what was coming next. Any suggestions what evidence i can give the police, i have been dealing with this over a year. I was able to get a stalking restraining order on his friend last year, but this guy is older and sneakier and never does anything in public.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      13 months ago from Wales, UK

      Secure your router. These people are just making use of your free internet. If you are unsure how to do it, contact your ISP. They are obviously having a party with your bandwidth. If you are with Sky or Virgin or Talk Talk or BT or whoever, give them a ring, explain what's happening and they will walk you through adding an extra layer of security. Your stalkers will disappear -poofff!

    • profile image

      AntiStalker 

      13 months ago

      Hi Bev, Thanks for your reply - we are also in the UK. After experimenting with turning off our router, the stalker friends backed closer to our house, trying to get a signal. The following day the main stalker was as usual sitting in his car on his mobile phone. We turned off the router and watched him panic, reverse around our home to try and pick up a signal then drove off. His friend than arrived, parking in his driveway, trying to get a signal. She was back a few days later, parked as close as possible to our house, trying to get a signal. I turned off the router and she fled. The Police have refused to investigate the cyber crime. We are absolutely terrified. What can we do now?

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      14 months ago from Wales, UK

      Appreciated, Little Rock :)

    • Rochelle Frank profile image

      Rochelle Frank 

      14 months ago from California Gold Country

      An intresting (and disturbingly interesting) article. I don't think I am being watched or have any reason to be . I was born a grey rock -- my name even means little rock, and people sometimes accuse me of being unenthusiastic.

      I really appreciate how you give some concrete examples of how to deal with such a situation. This could be lifesaving for someone.

      I would say "Bravo". . . and that is from someone who is outwardly unenthusiastic.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      14 months ago from Wales, UK

      I wish I did, AS, but I'm in the UK so it's different here. You've done all the usual stuff, yes? Clean your phone, make sure you step up security on your router?

      The police sound useless. I hope that someone else sees this and can come up with a useful suggestion.

      There might be something here: http://victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-re...

    • profile image

      AntiStalker 

      14 months ago

      Hi Bev,

      We contacted you a few months ago regarding the obsessive stalking by our neighbours. The situation continues to escalate with elaborate set-ups being acted out every time we venture outside. We are filmed constantly by the neighbours holding up mobiles. After over a year, we believe they are being paid - logics suggest that eventually they would get bored but there is no sign of an end to the stalking. I have had to suspend all professional sites after confirmation of suspicious activity on my work sites, our devices have been hacked, my mobile is tracked and today, my broadband provider confirmed there was another unknown device connected to our private router. The police have been useless despite our evidence. They say all they would bother doing to investigate is conduct a neighbourhood survey on whether we are liked on not. But this is stalking, not a popularity contest. Their suggestion doesn't feel like 21st century policing. We have evidence but no-where to go with it. Do you have any other suggestions? Where can we post the evidence? Thank you.

    • profile image

      Emily 

      14 months ago

      Thank you for your advice. I have gotten a few pictures, but I will continue to get more and check out the licence plates. Maybe then I can show the evidence to the police if it is a recurring trend. I'll also have to ask my neighbours about it.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      14 months ago from Wales, UK

      Have you started taking photos, Emily? Like I already suggested? Maybe that will stop it happening. Make sure to get their license plates. And if anyone asks you why you are doing it, say, 'I'm wondering why you are parked outside my house?' Don't put yourself in danger though. Try to be within the house boundaries.

      Also, have you spoken to your nearest neighbors about it? Perhaps they have noticed too?

    • profile image

      Emily 

      14 months ago

      I'll try to stop worrying about the cars that I see on my walks home. However, you still haven't given me advice on the random cars that are parked in front of my house. No one else on my street has had different cars park in front of their house and just sit there for a long time. Only I seem to experience problems like this on my street. I have even had some business trucks, such as one that does house repairs, just sit in front of my house for about 30-40 minutes before driving away. Out of all the places to park, these cars choose in front of my house. Doesn't that seem a lot like spying? It is really hard to ignore something as suspicious as that.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      14 months ago from Wales, UK

      Emily, it's highly likely that is just normal traffic. I myself was sitting in my car an odd place for 30 mins yesterday, waiting for my son. Maybe she was resting, or on her phone. Maybe she was waiting for an important call?

      How would someone know you would be walking past at that time? The thing is, now you are looking out for such behavior, you will definitely see it. I doubt very much if it's centered on you. Just relax about all this.

    • profile image

      Emily 

      14 months ago

      I haven't recorded license plates yet or the exact times that I saw them, but it usually happens after school or in the afternoon. I'll keep track of them and take pictures, and see if there are any more patterns. Although, it will be hard because it seems like many different people are doing this, most that I don't know.

      Also, I know that most of these scenarios probably aren't just normal traffic, because it happens in the most peculiar of places. For example, today I walked past a church, just like I do everyday, and someone was sitting in their car in the parking lot. Even though the church was closed and no one else was in the parking lot, she was there. She could have been waiting to pick someone up, but there is nothing nearby other than an abandoned elementary school, one very busy road and another highway and smaller streets with practically no traffic. It's hard to think of any other reason why someone would be there, along with many other incidents that I have had happen to me. I will continue to investigate this.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      14 months ago from Wales, UK

      Hey JD, sorry that you are going through this. It must be horrible for you. Have you anyone you can talk to about this?

      Practical suggestions are: to put up posters or pictures on all the walls. To try and obtain some evidence (turn your phone to voice record whenever you are near that person), get hold of the shower photo - that will be enough evidence to involve the police. I know it's embarrassing, but if it stops the harassment, then it's worth it.

      Hope you resolve this dreadful situation soon.

    • profile image

      John Doe 

      14 months ago

      I have been stalked and harass at my university, which has been going on for a couple of months now. Apparently their is a hole some where outside my room were everyone can come and look inside my room. I started to realize that I was being watch when I heard people outside my room make comments on the actions I do. I have reported this to the head of housing and the head Ra, but nothing is being done. I overheard my stalker and the head of housing talking him watching me everyday, and he admitted that he was stalking me to her. She said that she promises not to tell anyone about this because of his grades. I also heard her say to a Ra that we cant afford loses him. Now things are getting worse he has a nude photo of me in the shower. Finally i'm on vacation right now and he watches me from outside my house. I'm very scared right now and have no clue who to turn too.Everyone in the dorms knows this is happening to me but no ones standing up for me. I don't think I can call the police cause I have no evidence for anything. Because of my stalker I cant even show my face in school without being laugh at. Sorry if I didn't give enough information,this is my first time posting this kind of stuff.

    • profile image

      Natalie cody 

      14 months ago

      I have been terrorized in my own home for the last 6 months. They have gas lighted me. It started with them talking outside windows. Then went to beating on windows and doors. If I left or went to sleep they would come into my home and move things where I wouldn't find them for a few days. Like my keys.

    • profile image

      Debra 

      14 months ago

      These are people who live I. My complex. Recently a neighbor who drives a white car and smokes constantly. There is another one who lives in a town home right next to me. Honestly I believe they are on my side. It just invasive I really wish they would mind their on business. The lady that smokes constantly blows her car horn she always seem nosey. I am single eventually I will meet a friend but for 2 years I have not dated. I am interested in meeting someone nice and I will.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      14 months ago from Wales, UK

      Emily, do you record license plates, keep a log of times, the drivers? Are you taking photos of the vehicles? Unless you record these incidents there's no point going to the police--it's a too vague. Collect hard evidence, see if there are any obvious patterns.

      I am wondering if this could be just normal traffic. Where I live in a small UK village, there are a couple of small stores, a school, and a community center nearby, so cars arriving and pulling away is a normal occurrence at certain times of the day.

    • profile image

      Emily 

      14 months ago

      Recently, I have been stalked by different people, some of which I know, and others that I don't know. If I am walking home from school, there will be a car parked on the road and it will only drive away once I have walked past. It is not like they are waiting for someone, because they will only drive away once I walk past. I usually come across different stalkers in their cars about 3 times per day! Sometimes, a car will even be parked in front of my house and will wait there until I show up or until I peer through the window. It is as if everyone is trying to keep tabs of where I am as much as possible! Is this worthy enough of getting a private detective or phoning the police? I don't do anything to upset anyone, and I am a quiet, polite person. I don't see any reason as to why they do this, so if anyone has any advice, please comment! Also, Bev G, can you help me with this mystery?

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      15 months ago from Wales, UK

      Karen, if it is a physical device, you can find it and remove it. If you have proof that someone is stalking you, take it to the police.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      16 months ago from Wales, UK

      Hi Cindrella, my advice would be to live your life and pay them no heed. Don't let them change your actions or behavior. Remember that all negativity comes from the other person and, in the long term, they only damage themselves. Read 'The Four Agreements'.

    • profile image

      Cindrella 

      16 months ago

      I worked for a company where male colleagues frequently speaks indecent(sex related) stuffs. I was the only lady and it was strange for me. After sometime one colleague continued talking indecently even after my objections. Once I understood the urgency to escalate, I did escalated to manager. But it was futile. I left the company and joined another one. There too same kind of activities continued and again I left. After analyzing all the events, understood that both had strong link. Now in neighborhood, many ladies speaks very sensitive topics and trying to get negative stuffs from me. Phone calls to understand my financial situation. Identifying the spy people is extremely difficult and stressful. They speak to hurt in a unidentified way, but after a while I can understand that the conversation was very unusual. It stresses me a lot and can you advice me how to have a peaceful mind to live the daily life in a peaceful way.

    • profile image

      Paul 

      16 months ago

      Being continuosly bugged and followed, gang stalked is the term, all manner of harrassment, what these people can do is criminal alone, utility companies, apple, doctors, you name it, phone must be bugged, as whenever i make a call, when i call back, they say certain key words or things relative to my private life, must be masonic, no doubt

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      16 months ago from Wales, UK

      Good luck, BRDEN, I wish you all the best and hope with all my heart you get the help you need. x

    • profile image

      BRDEN82 

      16 months ago

      Thank you. I'm am trying a few numbers to find an advocate in NYC to help. If that doesn't work, going to have to keep going to the police by myself. Which is unfortunate here, as I feel they don't listen to you.

      Also I'm not certain that I am safe at all. One of the other reasons I left the apartment is because they were tampering with the locks whenever I went in to take my shower before work at night, and also when I came in in the morning from work, the following would intensify beginning with the super in the lobby of the building.

      I think if I went back and tried to stay at that apartment, I would not be safe at all.

      Thanks again for your help.

      BRDEN82

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      16 months ago from Wales, UK

      BRDEN, I'm in the UK so I don't think I could do much. I wouldn't be able to publish it here - audio files aren't supported. Keep recording, keep reporting it. It doesn't seem that they are trying to physically hurt you so keep fighting. No one deserves to be treated like this.

    • profile image

      BRDEN82 

      16 months ago

      Bev,

      Thanks for your reply. I would be happy to forward you one of the audio files. I know exactly how this sounds. Generally speaking I would have the same reaction you do. One of the people whose been doing this lives right across the hall from the apartment I left. But it's weird because as I mentioned, the following is not just in the apartment, but to everywhere, to every single hostel or shelter I've stayed at. And the question for me is how is that even done?!

      Trust me, I know this sounds very strange. If I didn't recognize her voice so well, along with constantly re-listening to the recordings, I would think the same as you.

      BRDEN82

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      16 months ago from Wales, UK

      I'm not really sure how to help you, BRDEN. I think you are already doing the right thing by recording what you hear. Have you managed to get close to the source of the voices? For instance, one particular wall, your phone or other device? Keep doing it and maybe consider a private detective?

      The thing is, when people started leaving comments like these, I really thought most of them had mental health issues, however, I'm getting so many of them (and you wouldn't believe how many don't get approved at all) that I'm beginning to think there is more to this 'phenomena'. Please feel free to update us on how it goes for you. Take care x

    • profile image

      BRDEN82 

      16 months ago

      Updating my post below... while reading over it this morning, I realize how awfully crazy and schizo it sounds. The only problem is I am in my 50s and I have never had anything where I hear random voices. I've certainly had my fair amount of stress, but never hearing voices.

      I wish I could post the audio files of my recordings. The problem with the police is they are not very tech savvy and have no idea how these location tracking apps work. I don't either. And so the cops I've spoken to literally play devils advocate and come up with every excuse imaginable of what the recordings could be. Like right now I am in a hostel, and I am hearing this same woman's voice from my apt building (especially while I am in the shower). (Yes I've recorded that to.)

      The cop says to me, that could be one of the other guest staying at the hostel. I told them it's not. I've lived across the hall from this woman for many years, and its her and her daughters, not anybody else! I just feel they come up with every reason not to help you. In my case I fear something could go wrong by the time I get some help.

      If I couldn't hear anything from the recordings and haven't had this woman following me all over the place, to every single hostel I've stayed at, I would have to consider that I have a problem, but that's not the case.

      Also the other familiar thing to Chika's story, is beside the fact that the super (who works for the Landlord) started this, but there was a ton of banging on the walls, particularly after I came in from work -- all from the same woman and her daughters and the super and his friends.

      Thanks for any help or advice you could give.

    • profile image

      Like my old world is unreachable 

      16 months ago

      I have been stalked for over two years now. All attempts to seek help are fruitless. Searching for an attorney feels like a waste of time. I never hear back. Called the board for x referral and was asked what I was doing to cause me to be stalked. I believe she actually referred to me as the common denominator in my stalking my situation. Tired. Hopeless. Don’t wanna fight this anymore.

    • profile image

      BRDEN82 

      16 months ago

      This is so strange. Chika's story sounds very similar to mines, accept I left my apartment and am currently living in a hostel, but I don't believe they've physically followed me to the hostel.

      But here's what happened to me, I left my rent stabilized apartment six months ago, because the super and people who live across the hall, somehow installed something in the apartment, or via an app or something that allows them to view me inside the apartment. So that each room I walked into, the crackhead lady who lives across the hall would literally say something to me in that particular room. I leave that room, go to another room, she would follow me in the other room and say something in that room also.

      This went on 24 hours day, even if I got up to go to the bthrm at 3 in the morning, they would follow me in the bathroom. THe voices would change after several hours so it seems there was several people doing this. Which leads me to wonder whether these people were hired by the landlord.

      The reason I think they are using an app though is because the hostel that I've been staying at, they've been following me there also, (sounds really crazy, but its true and I've recorded them) but there not staying in the hostel, it seems they're using an app, or phone tracker, but they must have a way to see me, because wherever I go inside the hostel, they follow me in that room also, and say things to me.

      I go in the shower, the follow me in the shower or to use the toilet, they taunt and harass me in there as well. Same at work. The only difference is at work, they spend the entire night hacking into my computer. I work as a temp at various lawfirms and I've literally sat at my desk and watched emails being deleted in the middle of the night when no one is at work but me. I'm not even touching the mouse. Same voices I hear, are the same ones I heard inside the apartment, and same voices I hear inside the hostel. (All of which I've recorded.)

      It's very strange. The only thing I know is, the woman's voice who I hear most times is the woman whose lived across the hall from us since '97. My children have moved out. I am middle aged and have lived alone for a while now. I am very strong in my faith, and either watch a lot of spiritual programs and/or read my bible a lot. They say a lot of things that are evil-related. Not sure if this is done to try and scare me.

      It's been difficult getting help from the police, or the Landlord, which is why I ended up leaving. If anybody knows what this is or how this is being done or if this is the government or landlord that does things like this, please reply to my post. I would appreciate it so much.

      I am homeless and desperate for help. I can't go back to the apartment, because the harassment would just be ten times worse from these people. Thanks again so much.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      16 months ago from Wales, UK

      But why, Chika? Why would they spend so much money and use so many resources trying to intimidate you? And how are they making comments? And you left the country... what happened then?

      And I don't understand what you mean about them targeting parts of your body. How? There's no technology that can do that.

      Get proof. Take it to the police.

    • profile image

      chika45 

      16 months ago

      Its my former landlord and her family. Even the little boy, sometimes. lmao.

      I hear their voices in my apartment or here in my hotel or on the plane, but never in a car. I suffer from shocks, cramps, headaches and vibrations directed all over my body. When I get into the tub, I see the water rippling over whatever body part that they're targeting at the moment.

      Usually their idiotic comments are that I'm sleeping too much, (i get only 1 to 4 each night), eating too much, wasting food, or gas, or electricity, or water, just plain stupid drivel, day and night.

      I would've thought that I was losing it or getting sick, but they bang the walls, floors, ceiling, depending on where i am, day and night. Some people who stay close by complain and call the police, but this family always talks their way out of it.

      They also hire other immigrants in shifts??? This sounds so ridiculous.

      I've tried moving out of state, leaving the country, nothing works.

      Apparently they have several businesses, are financially well off, so they do this for fun.

      They are extremely good friends with my mom, or rather, they have her wrapped around their pinkie. She enjoys being the center of attention of rich people??? I feel like I've been sold, or rather sacrificed.

      So here I am, in a hotel, they're banging all day, all night, they rented the room above and next to me, that shares a wall with my bed. I tried changing rooms three times. The manger studies the screen of available rooms like its an end of term exam, at least five minutes. Money opens all doors, doesn't it?

      And they're having a blast. I have the full attention of a family of psychopaths. I never knew that I was soooo special.

    • profile image

      Jim 

      17 months ago

      I feel as though my neighbor is recording and listening to everything I do in My house. Theyve been acting strange and it gets me on guard because it's not normal. Theyve had a problem with me since I've been here. Now it's got worse. I feel so alone with this issue and no one can help.

    • profile image

      ThomasTeal 

      17 months ago

      I feel as though my ex is spying on me she may even have been cheating so she always get info on me some times like where im at i just want to know how do i find out if she out side my window spying on me i mean cant i send her a text and as soon as she opens it i know she see it and i know that shes not learking out side my bedroom

    • profile image

      Overthemoon93 

      17 months ago

      Hi this is simular to what I went through except the person came to me on my old property with a threat I have never felt more uncomfortable in my entire 24 years I actually moved a couple blocks away and it has stoped apparently it was some bullies down the street from me I had no clue what the issue was until a couple months later. I had gone to some one I knew whom we where really close to and said she saw the same thing and knew who it was but never bothered to talk it out.

    • profile image

      Puppeteer 

      17 months ago

      Spying on American consumers and indie producers is huge profits, and creative intel for corporations. That's why they call it the information ages. All the celebrities do it. They use satelite radar, sonar, thermal and infrared to watch your every move and while you sleep. Your data and creativity is money, videos , commercials and films. You can't prove it or do anything about it expect learn to make money of yourself the same way they make money off you. It's about nothing but MONEY!

      If you dance well they don't have to hire you. The TV Satelite people just thermo image track you in your house. It's business as usual in America.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      17 months ago from Wales, UK

      You must collect proof, Gloria. Make recordings of them, install security cameras and check for hidden cameras in your home. Once you have evidence that they are spying, you can go to the police

    • profile image

      Gloria Trujillo 

      17 months ago

      I have these neighbors that have a surveillance camera that record and listen I feel that they're listening in to our conversation because I keep hearing them repeating everything I say can I hear them actually repeat what I say because they have a video camera that hears

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      18 months ago from Wales, UK

      Lark, read my article here: https://owlcation.com/social-sciences/My-Neighbors...

      Meanwhile, don't allow them to interfere with your life. Develop a strategy of ignoring them, and distracting yourself from them. Don't stare back or you could be perpetuating the problem. The more you notice it, the more you'll get it.

    • profile image

      Lark 

      18 months ago

      I am having an issue with nosey neighbours on my street. I simply leave my house to hang out with my friends or go out in general and they watch me. I will be stared down if they are outside and they make it obvious. It’s not like they say hi or try and get to know me. I also notice when I go out with friends they peer at me from their curtains. It’s strange and creepy to the point even my friends notice it so happening. I feel uncomfortable with the situation and being in their neighbourhood because of it. Any helpful suggestions anyone can give me would be greatly appreciated.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      18 months ago from Wales, UK

      Lou, the technology isn't there to be able to read your thoughts. It's also very unlikely that DWP have the resources available.

      Clicking in the ears is quite common. I get it sometimes https://www.fauquierent.net/earclicking.htm

      I think you are fine and no-one has put anything in your head.

    • profile image

      Louvwhyte 

      18 months ago

      I know I'm being investigated by the department of work and pensions fraud squad, (I'm innocent) but around 2/3months ago I started hearing clicks in my ears and eyes feel like there's lenses in them , now I know this because stupidly they've used upstairs flat to watch from and I've heard them plotting against me , literally I've heard alot..and I'm now convinced that they've put something inside my head to listen in on my inner voice, and watch and record me through cyber lenses, I know if I just get one person who believes me I can prove it as it's in my head , please help me prove this device is there , u seem to know what to do

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      18 months ago from Wales, UK

      If you are sure he has a camera in your apartment, then find it and disable it. Now you're living there, he can't get in there to replace it. Find the bugs... and destroy them, Carol.

    • profile image

      Carol Soriano 

      18 months ago

      Its my next door neighbor he has a camera in his home hooked up to see inside my apt. Don’t know how, but I can hear him telling his girl friend what I’m doing eating, dressings showering etc.

      He’ always there I’ve never seen him only her. From the minute I come home to the minute I leave for work. He has such a loud voice even though he whispers. I have lived there a year already, he’s only been their several months. But I like my little apt.

      What should I do who do I call.

      I’ve been taking showers at one of my daughters homes. He’s very confident and comfortable spying on me. Once I said to myself I’m goig to tell mgr. loud enough for him to here me, and he laughed. He has kmow fear, because he has friends in this Senior build where he could get rid of his equipment in a hard beat. What do I do can anyone help me? I live alone yet they are always their discussing my business.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      18 months ago from Wales, UK

      Hi Claire, you must collect proof that this is happening. Photos, videos, written logs. Only by doing that will you be able to take action. The first thing to do is to find out the source of this harassment. Read through the article and the comments here for suggestions. Good luck and take care.

    • profile image

      Claire Parke 

      18 months ago

      I have been and am being watched and followed. This has been going on since 2013. I am not paranoid. At first I tried to ignore it and put it down to imagining things or coincidence.

      I am not sure if it is my ex employer (I resigned and filed a complaint). An ex best friend who I fell out with years ago and has enough money and time on her hands, as she is bored. My ex boyfriend who came in and out of my life but begruges me.

      When I go down to town I am followed. I have tested this by slowing down and the person has slowed down too or stopped to look at a shop and this has happened so many times I have lost count. Natrually the person following is not the same person each time. I am unable to make friends as I used to. I am sociable and outgoing. As soon as I meet someone the person is very nice to me and then suddenly changes for no reason and takes a distance. I recently moved to a new area, my neighbour was charming to me when I first arrive and suddenly took a distance for no reason.

      I am unable to open a Facebook page, it says 'you have to use your real name'. I did manage last year and I got messages : 'your Facebook page has been closed for security purposes'. I am unable to open a page which links people to go out together. I am unable to join a French/English discussion groupe as I am blocked.

      If I apply for a job, the interview goes fine and sometimes I am accepted. However after the interview either by phone or face to face, the employer comes up with a ridiculous excuse not to take me. If I am taken literally 3 days later the employer will tell me that he/she can no longer keep me.

      I know my mobile is hacked as phone numbers disapear, texts and messages.

      I imagine that this message will not even get through. If it does it will be a miracle.

      I know I cannot stop this. What I do not know is why this is going on and why it has been going on for so long.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      18 months ago from Wales, UK

      Hi AntiStalker,

      Your weapon is to gather proof. As much as you can. If you can surreptitiously record them on your phone or some small camera. Keep detailed logs of incidents. Ask neighbours to do the same. Once you have built up enough evidence, take it to the police and to your local authority. Due to recent high-profile cases, the UK is very pro-active in preventing/dealing with stalking and harassment.

      Don't try to fight your next-door neighbours openly because you won't win. Use your intelligence and resourcefulness to beat them. Take every opportunity to bring their antics to the attention of the council and your MP. If you keep complaining,they'll do something. Oh, and mention to the police that you are in fear of your life, that'll get them moving. Good luck.

    • profile image

      AntiStalkerUK 

      18 months ago

      I completely get how utterly miserable and life-destroying it is when neighbours stalk you. We moved in to a different area in order to help a vulnerable relative. Since we arrived the people next door have harassed and intimidated us relentlessly. They permanently park outside our house, despite having an empty driveway themselves, camp outside and perv into our windows around the clock, have rigged some disgusting camera/monitor to film directly into our home. Them and their 'associates' shine industrial floodlights into our bedroom and sitting room at night, to film us getting undressed - as well as filming our back room from their garden. We are new to the area - they have lived there for generations and their friends/associates - all of whom are chronically obese - gather outside our house to intimidate us. My husband has been followed home from work on several occasions - with people so close behind him he can hear them panting. I have arrived home to some associate lying in wait. then making silly filming gestures. Why are they tracking our every move? They film us around the clock - but it has escalated. They have now violently trespassed on our property, kicked and banged our doors and clearly pose a serious threat of violence. We need help. We have not confronted them, despite all their attempts to force a confrontation because we wanted to sell our home after renovation, Sadly, they have lowered the value of the entire street and we will not be able to sell our home.. The entire street will now have to declare this stalking until it is resolved. What a horrible trap. We feel sick. Any advice??

    • profile image

      Trudy516 

      18 months ago

      .. I have a neighbor that has been stalking me..he lives downstairs from me in a condo complex....we both are owners...he is 20 years older than me....late 60's....he lives by himself and so do I....he is a real creep...was a big drinker years back, as I over hear him talk about it....just looking at him is so creepy....he watches and listens to my whole life...the walls are thin....he sits under my kitchen area, as we have the same layout of our condos...he starts the day at 6 am or 7 depending when I GET UP....yup.....he can actually hear me turn in my bed and get up...he rushes to sit under my kitchen, I hear him go from room to room as I walk, as he moves and screeches his chairs around the floor to annoy me...this is a new thing with the chairs...he use to be discreet about it...but then I realized he has been listening to my life and routine for the past 6 years...alot to write here...but will simplify it ...he would show up at the mailbox saying how great he thought I was, for knowing how to paint etc my condo..he says how he was chaulking his bath tub too...how would he know that I was ?? then realized he was listening to me chaulk my tub !! ..he would rush to talk to me and offer to do things for me...telling me how my tire was low on my car, then suddenly coming to my door to tell me it was flat and wanting to fix it for me....but I rejected him...at this point I just stayed away from him, I even park my car now at the end of my building so he can't see my routine.....he would always show up at the grocery store and I would think how odd he was always there at the exact time...then until this past year had I realize he runs out to his car within minutes after I do, then shows up at the store....so recently....he once again showed up....and I turned the tables on him....by following him around the store and taking pictures.....which he then knew that I KNEW HE WAS FOLLOWING ME ! he then ran out the store and disappeared...unfortunately I live by myself...he use to blow cigarette smoke up my walls into my vents even when I was in the shower...as he can hear this....until I finally told the manager about it...then it stopped....he also bullied the last owner here an 85 year old woman and scared her away as she packed up and moved away......seems he tends to go after women to intimidate....I made the manager aware of him and his stalking behavior...but seems there is nothing for anyone to do at this point..so when I know he's sitting below my kitchen, I let him know he's being watched by yelling it out with his name, sounds pathetic I know....I also pretend I have someone with me by talking out loud...how odd the smuck seems to stop moving his chairs around when I do that....a real sicko....I even spoke with the local sheriff and was told until the smuck is sitting in the parking lot of my job or grocery store parking lot, then I can call them to come he also told me I should just move ...recently he started making his moves up by my door talking to a neighbor outside my door with no shirt on, I told him to stay away from my door or I'll call the sheriff....he then cursed me out.....the smuck also recruited a few other losers with him...lonely horny 60 something year old men, who have nothing else to do, they sit around no jobs living off of SSI. .....and never saw a young girl before....really is disgusting...I also had to call the cops on his pal recently for cursing at me as he walked past me...he's about 500 pds btw......who also had hit on me by coming to my door saying how we should get to know each other.... but now he is disgruntled and together they are a team along with a few others all acting like victims....I'm thinking of getting a body guard just to show muscle once a week at my home....since I'm not with anyone now...sheriff actually told me to keep a gun in my home...can u believe we're at that point ...unreal......if I could move I would...glad I found this column...any suggestions from others please write to me, I want to hear other stories as well...I live in the state of Florida btw. guns are allowed in your home without a license and there is a stand your ground law, where you're allowed to protect yourself........can you believe !!

    • profile image

      Adam H 

      18 months ago

      Ya the best advice any one can receive bout being watched by over baring P.O.S. is to make it known that you know..expose them loud,ridiculously but sarcasticly ..you will be laughed at and ridiculed but what else can you do...embrace the paranoia don't let it consume you..most if not all the time these pukes do win and get what info they want.. But don't let them gain enjoyment from there actions trying to tear your world down....also get your close family up to date and how to go bout normal life....

    • profile image

      Cristina 

      18 months ago

      Everyone's story sounds exactly like mine . There are some details that I can't write because everything is public and it only makes it worse when I communicate about it. Every neighbor is stalking me using techniques with timing and creating noise. Whoever is above me has political connections and has the ability to have the police and fire department involved as well as mass transit. They are using all gang stalking techniques road blocking street theater you name it there is no escaping it. It has been affecting my physical health that I have documentation of. I fight to have 5 minutes of peace a day. This requires every ounce of mental endurance to survive. What can be done when drones and government vehicles are involved. I haven't ever hurt anyone in my life . I am being tortured every second of my life. If I go outside there is a group of vehicles passing by me. If I say too much the police will surround me. I am expecting a huge punishment for posting this but it can't be any worse than my life now. There really isn't anyone to help what do you do? I never knew what this was until I had to research it. They are tampering and trying to destroy my vehicle and trying to kill me when I'm driving. I will seek justice because this is illegal

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      19 months ago from Wales, UK

      Hi there, Hindering. It seems to me that you are making assumptions about what other people are thinking. So, what you do about it is: go about your business in a polite and pleasant way. Say 'hello' to anyone you pass in your neighborhood. If they ignore you, then that's **their** problem, not yours.

      There's a great quote from Abraham-Hicks, "What you think of me is none of my business."

      Go for a run, do.

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