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I'm Being Watched—How to Deal With Stalkers and Spies

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A long time ago, I had a stalker. He still pops up now and then. I like to think I can help others in the same situation.

Do you ever ask yourself: Am I being watched? Here's what to do if someone is spying on you.

Do you ever ask yourself: Am I being watched? Here's what to do if someone is spying on you.

Am I Being Watched?

Have you got an odd feeling that somebody is watching you? You may see a fleeting movement out of the corner of your eye or hear strange noises when the house is quiet. You wonder if your home is under surveillance, and do an internet search for "somebody is watching me.”

The results are not helpful—mostly useless links to song lyrics. Nothing seems to reflect exactly how you feel: alone, vulnerable, angry, scared, and violated.

Differences Between Spying, Stalking, and Surveilling

A spy is anyone who observes you secretly. A stalker is someone who spies on you repeatedly, for their own psychological or emotional reasons, with motives that are akin to harassment and intimidation. Surveillance, however, is simply a close observation of a person who's under suspicion.

So while a spy's motives might be unclear, a stalker's motives are twisted, selfish, and personal. If you are under surveillance, on the other hand, you are being watched because someone is trying to figure out if you've done something wrong. Surveillance is less personal and more purposeful.

Spying or stalking might be done by a jealous ex boyfriend, a nosy neighbor, or an obsessed acquaintance, while surveillance might be performed by a company, a private investigator, or the government.

If you feel sure that you are being spied on, the first thing to do is trust your instincts. They are usually correct. Next, there are several things you can do to determine and prove that it is happening. Don’t think it will go away, because it usually won’t. It's extremely important to take your suspicions seriously. Put yourself into a position of power and take action.

Below, you'll find advice to fit each different scenario of being watched.

What to Do If You Suspect You Are Being Spied On

  1. Determine who your stalker is and why they are spying on you, if you can. Below, you'll find a long list of possible offenders and motives.
  2. Look for and collect proof of their spying. Scroll down for details about where and how to look for evidence.
  3. Learn how to prevent and/or prosecute the person who's stalking you. You have many options, and each is described in full below.

1. Find Out Who Your Stalker Is

Sit down and brainstorm a list of possible suspects. In the majority of cases, the person watching you will be known to you—a personal stalker. The following is a list of possibilities to help jog your memory and generate a long list of all the potential culprits.

Types of Personal Stalkers

  • The most common stalker is an ex or current partner or someone who feels rejected. People who display signs of jealousy or feel rejected are number one on the list of possible watchers. However, this type of stalker wants you to know that it’s them. Their ego demands that you recognize their ‘devotion.’ They are convinced that you need to learn the truth, that deep down you are completely in love with them and just need to be shown the error in your thinking. This behavior is a sign of mental illness. You won’t be able to convince them of this, so you need to contact someone who might be able to help. In every case, report them to the police.
  • Another kind of personal stalker is someone whom you may have upset or angered in the past. Even inadvertently. Consider the people in your neighborhood, at work, at businesses and spots you frequent. This type is less likely to advertise their identity; they just want to make you suffer in their desire for revenge.
  • Neighbors are also quite common among stalkers. After all, the closer people live, the more opportunity there is to both rile the emotions and maintain constant surveillance. You may have caught their attention or incurred their wrath in some way and now, the boundary between you and them is being breached.
  • Then there are the randoms: Someone who has taken a fancy to you, someone who you may have exchanged a few words with and gone merrily on your way, leaving them thinking that your interaction meant far more than it actually did. These are the obsessives.
  • The last variety is the predatory stalker. These are the ones who care nothing for you as a human being, they just want to own you—even for just a few minutes. These people, thank goodness, are very rare. Nevertheless, every sensible person, male or female, should take reasonable precautions when out alone. Rape alarms, pepper sprays, and a noisy dog are all good methods of protection. Better still is to have some basic knowledge, and practice, of self-defense skills.

What Do Stalkers Have in Common?

Whatever category your stalker comes under, they all share some commonalities:

  • They are convinced that they are in the right, that they deserve to watch you or that you belong to them in some way.
  • They have no idea—or don’t care—what effect their behavior has on you.
  • They are able to rationalize their actions to any degree. In fact, they don’t think they are doing anything wrong or out of the ordinary.

Is Your Ex Stalking You?

The following are examples of stalker-like behavior:

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  • They show up wherever you are, unexpectedly and uninvited.
  • They monitor you on social media.
  • They keep finding ways to contact you, even after you've changed your numbers and accounts.
  • They keep tabs on you via shared contacts.
  • They enter your house, even when they don't have a key.
  • They send gifts even after you've tried to end the relationship.
  • They install spyware on your devices or keep track of you via GPS.
  • They seem to be keeping tabs on, and collecting information about, you.
  • They spread rumors or post personal information about you.
  • They refuse to leave you alone.
  • They don't take "no" for an answer and pursues a relationship with you any way they can.

Signs Your Neighbor Is Spying On You

  • They know things about you that they shouldn’t know.
  • You suspect that they are listening via some sort of device.
  • Your mail is being tampered or interfered with.
  • They have entered your home or property while you were out.
  • They stalk you on social media.

For more information, read My Neighbors Are Spying On Me: What Can I Do?

How to catch a stalker and protect yourself.

How to catch a stalker and protect yourself.

2. How to Get Rid of a Personal Stalker

A. Collect Evidence

Keep a written record of every single incident, however trivial, with dates and times. Take photos, recordings, and screenshots, if needed. Keep track of any witnesses (with names and contact information). Keep backed-up electronic records, too—remember that your phone or computer may be compromised, so have a second device that no one knows about.

For information about how to check your house and car for spy devices, read How to Find Spy Devices in Your Home, Car, Cell Phone, or Computer.

B. Reset Phones, Computers, Passwords, and Social Media

  • If your stalker might ever have had had access to your devices, they could have installed spyware or GPS tracking devices without your knowledge, so the smartest thing to do is get new ones.
  • Even if you don't think they've installed spyware, reset your devices to factory settings and choose new passwords for all sites you frequent, including banks, social media, entertainment sites, and online shopping. This may only be a temporary solution, but do it anyway.
  • If the stalking was online, then deactivate your social media accounts. Try setting new ones up under a different name and share your profiles with trusted friends one at a time, over a period of weeks. At the very least, check all your privacy settings and make sure you're not sharing with the public.
  • Don’t post your life on social media. People can pick up all sorts of clues about you, your routine, places you go, etc. Keep posts general.

C. Report the Stalker

As soon as you have one or two pieces of evidence, go to the police and register a complaint. These days, they seem to be taking stalking and harassment more seriously than in previous years. Even if they can’t act because there is not sufficient evidence, there will be a record of your complaint so any officer you speak to subsequently will be able to look up the case record. Don’t be worried that the police will get fed up by your complaints. Keep them updated at all times.

D. If You Know Your Stalker, Employ the Gray Rock Method

If the stalker is known to you and regularly tries to make contact, use the grey rock method. This term was coined by the victim of a psychopath stalker who learned how to deal with him. It is a useful technique when you have to speak to your stalker because you have some common interest, such as a child together.

The grey rock method involves doing the following:

  • Respond only when you have to.
  • Keep your responses as short, boring, and monotonous as possible.
  • Add no inflection to your voice, use bland vocabulary, and display no emotion.
  • Only give essential facts in order to conclude the interaction.

This method works well if the stalker shows psychopathic or sociopath tendencies. They thrive on drama so don’t give them what they want. Eventually, their behavior will change as they lose interest in you. Grey rocking can enable you to become invisible to that person, and any other who shows an unwanted interest in you. By making yourself as boring as possible, they will soon look for more interesting prey.

Is Stalking or Spying On Someone a Crime?

Stalking is usually an accumulation of several acts which, when combined, become a crime. For example, sending emails is not a crime; watching someone's house is not a crime, and following them is not a crime. But when the motive is sociopathic, when larger patterns of intent are established, and if probable cause can be established then innocent behavior turns into stalking.

Stalking is usually (but not always) perpetrated by men on women. It's usually a man who feels rejected by a woman who he believes owes him something. He thinks he is entitled to her attention and if he doesn't get it, he takes matters into his own hands and forces intimacy any way he can.

However, women can be stalkers too. And their vengeance knows no bounds; they will sometimes extend their harassment to their ex's new partner.

Is stalking illegal?

Stalking is illegal, but it requires sufficient proof. To prove it's happening, you must be able to clearly prove a pattern of behavior, that threats were made (implicitly or explicitly), and that there was criminal intent to cause fear. With proof, you can get the court to issue a protective or restraining order.

Most stalkers stop their creepy behavior if they are confronted by police, but if they don't stop, then it becomes a criminal matter. This is why it's important to involve the police.

Since anti-stalking laws and legislation vary from state to state, check out the Stalking Resource Center to find out about your state's policies.

No, it's not legal, but it's done all the time. To read more (and find out what to do about it), read How to Check Your Airbnb Rental for Spy Cameras.

3. How to Catch a Stalker by Collecting Evidence

It is not recommended that you confront your stalker yourself. Instead, do what you can to collect evidence so the police can help you.

  • Keep a log describing every single incident, however small, including dates and times.
  • Take photos, video, and audio recordings if possible. Have hidden security cameras mounted around your property. You can buy many relatively inexpensive counter-surveillance devices online. This wireless WiFi motion detector camera is ideal.
  • Keep track of any witnesses (with names and contact information).
  • Keep all emails, texts, letters, voicemail, and records and screenshots of any other electronic communications. Even if they are sent anonymously, each email contains IP information which can help investigators find your stalker, don't delete them.
  • Write down the details and license plate numbers of any suspicious vehicles.
  • Hire an investigator or PI to watch and collect evidence against your suspected stalker.

Traps for Stalkers

Again, it is not recommended that you physically trap, confront, or even interact with your stalker.

  • On the other hand, by using a device like an anti-spy signal detector, you can discover a hidden microphone transmitter or video camera in your home.
  • Hidden cameras placed strategically might be helpful, too. If you can't afford cameras, you might be able to rent the equipment.
  • If you don't feel equipped to do your own counter-surveillance, hiring an investigator or PI who has access to all the latest gadgets and tech to watch and collect evidence for you can help build your case.

Stalking Resources

Why Would Someone Be Under Surveillance?

  • If you are a witness to a crime or involved in any legal proceeding.
  • If you are filing for divorce or suing for custody of your children.
  • If you owe money.
  • If you have filed for disability or bankruptcy.
  • You work for a company that is being spied on by a competitor.
  • If your work makes you interesting in some way (if outsiders might be looking to capitalize on your knowledge or take your company to court for any reason).
  • You engage in criminal activity.
  • You have knowledge that could damage reputations or projects.
  • You are involved in a legal case and the other side may be seeking to build up evidence to discredit you.
  • If some individual has taken an unhealthy interest in you.
  • If you are close with another person who fits any of the descriptions above.
  • The government is tracking you. This is a given. Most governments now collect metadata on everyone. In the UK, CCTV tracks your every move if you live in a city.
  • You have a mobile device, a tablet, or a cell phone. Your apps, browsers, and devices are tracking you, your surfing habits, your social media posting—everything. If you take a photo, GPS data is transmitted to reveal your location. The only way to prevent this is to remove the battery.

Are You Under Surveillance?

If you suspect you are under surveillance by some sort of organization or even if an individual is watching you, read: How to Find Spy Devices in Your Home and take the steps outlined therein to find out if your home has been bugged. Remember that these days most bugging takes place via an electronic device. It couldn’t be easier for someone to install an invisible app on your phone, or hack into your laptop’s camera or microphone. They can even be installed remotely.

How to find out if you're under surveillance, and what to do if you are.

How to find out if you're under surveillance, and what to do if you are.

Signs That You Are Under Surveillance

  • Vans parked outside your home. Often, they appear like innocuous domestic-type business such as plumbing, heating, building, that sort of thing. Unless you can see actual work being carried out at a neighbor’s home, then be suspicious.
  • Unusual activity, strangers in the neighborhood, a change in the usual routine are usually nothing to worry about. However, you can sometimes feel in your gut that things are ‘off.’ So keep your antennae alert for anything out of the ordinary. However, the very nature of these methods mean that the operatives who carry them out are so skilled that 99 out of 100 people will never know that they are being watched.
  • Strange noises on your house or cell phone and a sudden, fast battery drainage are signs that someone might have installed spy cameras without your knowledge or accessed your devices remotely.
  • You notice drones overhead. The ease of use and fast advancing technology makes spying-by-drone commonplace.

How to Prevent Surveillance

In short, you can’t. Unless you can prove that the surveillance is illegal, threatening, harassing or damaging, if you want to live in general society, you have to accept that your information and behavior is monitored by many agencies.

Alternatively, you can change your lifestyle, move to a location where you can live off-grid or become a nomad.

Am I Being Followed by the Government?

Yes, the government is tracking you. They are tracking everyone. Most governments have become quite adept at collecting metadata on everyone. In the UK, CCTV tracks your every move if you live in a city.

Who Else Is Surveilling Me?

Data brokers, social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, websites you visit, apps you use, search engines and browsers, advertisers, and many others have reasons to collect information about you.

Being Watched: It Might Be Your Imagination

It starts with a minor incident, such as a trash bin being knocked over late at night, then perhaps the sound of a squirrel in the roof. Your fertile imagination builds on it and attributes every sound, unexpected beep on your phone and passing footsteps to your ‘somebody is watching me’ fear. The fear becomes a phobia.

Although spying does happen, nine times out of ten it is nothing more than a feeling. Many people experience it. Severe cases are called “The Truman Show Delusion” after the movie where Jim Carey’s character realizes that his whole life is just a TV show being broadcast to millions and he is the only one who's unaware that he is the main character.

If you can be objective enough to realize that your fears are unsubstantiated, but they persist nevertheless, then a course of counseling, a visit to a psychotherapist or even an honest chat with a trusted friend can set your mind at ease.

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.

Questions & Answers

Question: How can I get people to quit watching and harassing me?

Answer: Read the article and implement some of the suggestions given.

Question: I have been spied on for over a year. I've moved states and have quit jobs over and over. I feel helpless. I have family members involved, and the more I run from it, the worse it gets. I've reported it to the FBI and the police, and it just makes it worse. I constantly have my location shared while I'm driving and my phone bugged. It has turned in to a game that involves thousands of people, but with little proof, is there anything I can do?

Answer: And that's the key. You have to collect proof. Keep records. Write everything down. If you see and hear these things happening, then there must be proof of them, yes? Try to determine why you have been targeted. Try to remember the first time you became aware of it. Write or record as much information as you can recall.

Then, once you have the proof, contact the Stalking Resource Center - link provided in the article.

Question: My sister started hearing voices months ago. She swears they are real people. The more I listen to her, the more it sounds real. Is it possible an agency is watching and listening? She thinks the house is monitored. She said they were surprised she could hear them and I think maybe its the metal plate in her head from an accident years ago. Is this possible?

Answer: Anything is possible. Follow the advice given in the article and also here:

As far as the metal plate is concerned, I don't have any suggestions apart from doing some research on the possibility.

Question: When we are outside my neighbor's neighbor keeps watching us. We are kids. What do we do?

Answer: Tell a responsible adult about it. Someone you can trust.

Question: Am I being spied on? For about a month the same car has been parked across the road, and when I stare at the car, it drives off quickly. It seems the driver wants me to notice him. The first time he stared straight into my eyes before driving off. I do not recognize him or can think of any reason why this is happening. What can I do?

Answer: Take a photo of the car, every single day. Make sure you get the license plate. If you are young, or single, take your photographic evidence to the police.

Question: I have a stalker who collects off my cell phone and possibly computers anything I say. She contacts people in my life and bad mouths me and then repeats things I've said asking them to repeat it to me. It's very creepy and has been going on for a long time. I feel very violated. What can I do?

Answer: You have to collect proof. So, you could set her up by saying something that is not true. For instance, like you intend to buy a certain pet or car or take an exotic vacation. Make it be something out of character for you. Then see if that comes back to you. Then you will know for sure.

If you can collect actual proof, as I've mentioned, you can report her for harassment. If that's not possible then do all you can to stop it happening. Get your phone cleaned up and your computer checked. Ask people who repeat these things to you to ignore her because you suspect she's a psychopath. Be calm and rational about it.

Read this, including the questions and comments:

Question: There was a man in a car in the parking lot in front of my house. When a school bus passed, he sped off. While he was there, we were staring out the window. I've never seen him before. What do I do?

Answer: Nothing. It sounds like he was in a public space and not bothering anyone. Why would you want to do something? If you later hear of a crime having been committed, you can tell the police what you saw.

Question: Why would motel staff be video recording me constantly? Confirmed by an employee. And I'm sure they're coming into my motel room, I just don't know how to catch them.

Answer: Firstly, if you you believe they are filming you, you have two options: report the owners to the police or leave and go elsewhere. Staff do have access to rooms - they have to for cleaning purposes. If you think your possessions are being interfered with, buy an inexpensive secret camera to film the activity. Again, if you have proof, go to the police.

Question: Is watching and chasing children, telling them off and filming them, breaking the law?

Answer: That depends on where you live. In most places, if it is in a public space, then he has every right to film, but not to harass. In my country, he would get a visit from the police with a warning. If he did it again, he would be arrested.

Question: Is there legal action one may take against surveillance? I have a suspicion that I am mistakenly suspected of something.

Answer: It depends on the laws where you live. If those doing the surveilling are not trespassing, there isn't a lot you can do. However, if you are being harassed, then get a video or recorded evidence.

Question: What devices can I use to see if my neighbor has video or audio surveillance directed at my home? I called a local company, but their investigation services cost almost $1,000. I'm a single, newly divorced mom on a budget. This creepy interchange has been going on for at least four years.

Answer: It's unlikely you will be able to detect any remote devices. However, it is possible to check for devices installed on or near your property or car. Carrying out your own anti-surveillance investigation is pretty cheap. I'd also advise you to install some low-cost cameras of your own. If you can gather proof, he is watching you so much the better.

Question: I am being watched by my neighbors. My lawn has been vandalized, my cars have been keyed, and the tires nailed or deflated. I believe they have posted something negative about me online. Is there any way I can find out about what is posted about me?

Answer: You can only do this by Googling your name, nickname, or perhaps your address. If you're on Facebook and Twitter, then search their details. With the other stuff, like I tell everybody, collect evidence; actual camera footage of them causing vandalism. Load up your car and home with spy cameras - they are pretty cheap these days.

Question: My brother, who is a pilot, and my sister-in-law have been stalking/spying on my family and me. They have obtained nude photos of my daughter and me; I am so shocked by this I don't know what to do. I've had a traumatic brain injury and find confusion greater now than it has been in weeks. Can you advise the first three or four things I should do?

Answer: They are listed in the article above. 1. Obtain proof. 2. Block access; don't make it easy for them. Close your blinds. 3. Report to police. 4. Drop all interaction with them. Also read through the questions and comments for more suggestions.

Question: I have hundreds of people stalking me and taking pictures of me all the time. What do I do?

Answer: No, you don't. You may have something called 'scoptophobia'. It's a form of anxiety and paranoia. It might also be a social anxiety disorder. Please seek professional, medical advice.

Question: I've been seeing multiple different people (the three same men) follow me and take photos or video recordings of me. I'm positive this is the case because when I see them I'm always alone (dark streets or other secluded places) and they're not farther than 20 meters. Why would they be following me?

Answer: I can't tell you why, but it's really important that you alert a family member about this as soon as possible.

Question: What if you know the person who is stalking you, but you're too afraid to tell anyone about it?

Answer: Nothing can change unless you do something, and that means asking for help. You cannot let this person ruin your life any longer. Talk to someone you can trust.

Question: Are there any positive reasons why someone may be watching you?

Answer: I can't think of any that would mean someone constantly monitoring another person unless they were being legally surveilled by law enforcement. I suppose you could imagine that an estranged parent or other relative might be 'keeping an eye' on the person, but not actually watching them. So no, not really. If you know of any, please leave them in the comments section below.

Question: I have several stalkers watching me and following me. How do I get evidence to bring criminal charges and take them to court?

Answer: Read the section above, subtitled 'How to Get Rid of a Personal Stalker'. Under that, you'll see 'Collect Evidence'.

Question: Is the fact that my neighbour walks by my house five times a day stalking?

Answer: No, not unless they are trespassing on your property or carrying out other worrying or threatening behavior. Maybe they are just walking?

Question: What if they are using technology that allows them to look through the floor into the apartment below?

Answer: There's no such technology. They can use equipment that shows heat sources or, if there's no in-between floor/ceiling space, then there could be holes drilled through. To locate them switch all the lights off in your apartment so that it is pitch black. Then slowly scan the ceiling for pinhole light shining through.

More information here:

Question: Is it illegal to grab and break a cell phone if someone is taking pictures of me? I also saw a drone right in front of my house. How can I stop that as well?

Answer: You'll have to check your local laws. For instance, in the UK, the first scenario could be viewed as criminal damage. The second one is being dealt with by new laws regarding the licensing of drones and where people are allowed to fly them.

The best thing to do is to mount your own counter-surveillance. If someone is taking pictures of you, whip out your own camera and take pictures of them. Same with the drone.

Question: I have a stalker who is spying on me in my home. My roommate caught him two days ago spying on me in the shower. I’m thinking of getting a camera & lights. What else can I do?

Answer: Report him to the police. Do not wait. Do it now.

Question: I'm being watched by my husband. He thinks I am having an affair with a neighbor. What should I do?

Answer: Follow the advice given in the article. You need to have proof that he is spying on you. I can't help you regarding his accusations. If you are still married to him, think about filing for divorce.

Question: What if you go outside and every time you are out there someone is watching you and you know who they are?

Answer: If you are going outside at random times, then it's unlikely that this person is out there every single time. If you suspect someone is watching you, get proof and take it to the authorities.

Question: I'm watched and harassed every day. I have gone to the police and the courts. It is a very traumatic and horrible experience that has a tremendous negative effect on my well being. I recently went for four days without drinking any water because of how traumatized and uncomfortable I am. I haven't eaten for four days. I hide almost every day as I have since it started five months ago. What do I do about my stalking and harassment?

Answer: Firstly, you cannot let this problem affect you in this way. Don't hide away. No one has hurt you or threatened you directly. So please eat and drink properly. Next, you must collect evidence of the harassment. Film or record the incidences and keep a written log of everything so that you can take it to the police again. Also look for resources in your country. There are links given in the article above.

If you continue the way you are then they have beaten you. Don't let them take your life away.

Question: What do I do if my neighbors keep stealing gas from my car?

Answer: While this is not connected to being stalked or spied on, I would suggest you video them and then take the evidence to the police and file a report.

Question: I'm told by a friend that another friend is watching me constantly. Last Monday, my house was broken into because he knows when I leave and return. How can I prove this?

Answer: 'Friend'? You can only prove it by producing evidence, such as camera footage. Install hidden cameras throughout your house.

Question: What could you suggest when game cameras have been spotted and tampered with? This has gone on for more than three years. Law enforcement refuses to help. I'm disabled, living on SSI and have no wifi. I need suggestions for a very small camera with a wide viewing range, night vision, waterproof, and easily disguised that would go unnoticed and not put out any light. I've tried game cameras, but they were spotted and tampered with.

Answer: You should contact a specialist security company. They can advise you once they know the location and your specific requirements. Camera technology is moving on all the time. I'm sure there is something out there to suit you.

Question: I think that I am being stalked. I don't know what to do! I recently had a break-in in the last month. The guy was and is unknown to me. What can I do?

Answer: Follow the advice given in the article. Read the responses to other readers. You must gather evidence: take photos, etc.

This article might also help. Again read the responses in the questions and comments section:

Question: My ex lives 50 feet from me. I have a feeling he's watching me, and it's possible he's been on my RV. He denies everything. What do I do?

Answer: Change your locks. Move your RV. Obtain photographic evidence by installing spy cameras on and in your vehicle.

Question: I have just noticed the man up the street has been watching me and following me to work. What do I do?

Answer: When you know he is following you, turn around and take some photos. He'll stop.

Question: Can hearing aids be hacked to allow a stalker to use them as a speaker? A friend’s mother swears she is being stalked by her neighbor through her hearing aids. He tells her he is going to kill her dogs. Is it possible that her hearing aids have been hacked? If so, how can she get proof of the hacking to take to the police?

Answer: I've already answered this question here:

Question: How does someone know when they are under surveillance?

Answer: They don't... until something catches their attention. Then they begin to notice odd things. If you read through some of the questions and comments you can see the wide variety of people's experiences.

Question: What should I do if the stalker threatens to kidnap me?

Answer: Record the threats and go to the police with the evidence.

Question: Is there a device similar to a spectrum analyzer that can detect the range and source of the frequencies I hear, especially at night when my sleep is disrupted through electronic attacks on my body?

Answer: Yes you can purchase a simple app for your smartphone. Although you may have to hook it up to a sensitive microphone in order to pick up the sounds. Try Sound Spectrum Pro or similar.

Question: Why do you only assume only males stalk exes?

Answer: I don't. There has been an edit on my article to add all those 'he's'. I've changed it now. However, the majority of stalkers are male. Or, at least, the higher number of people who report being stalked are female.

Question: I've caught my father-in-law on many occasions spying on me through windows. It's really creepy. I've caught him looking in my bedroom window at 5:30 am. I've caught him next to the bathroom window many times when I'm showering. I don't know what to do. He constantly watches my every move. Any suggestions?

Answer: 1. Tell your husband.

2. Ask your father-in-law to stop. You're an adult and you are entitled to privacy.

3. If he doesn't stop, take photos and record him.

4. Tell your mother-in-law.

5. Go to the police.

6. Better still, move out as soon as possible.

Question: I live in an apartment block. In the last two week, a man has been standing at the apartments facing us, staring at my apartment and others. He does this twice from what I noticed: at dusk and when it's dark. He walks around the building and comes back and just watches. My wife is convinced he has some sort of mental health problem and this is his routine. I find it uncomfortable and creepy. What should I do?

Answer: Film and photograph him and make it obvious that you are doing so. That may cause him to cease his behavior. Also report him to the police. He isn't breaking the law but at least you can register your concern.

Question: I followed all of your advice and links, but they didn't help. Can you recommend a mini camera that doesn't have WiFi, has a long battery life and is waterproof?

Answer: You should contact a specialist security company. They can advise you once they know your location and your specific requirements. Camera technology is moving on all the time; I'm sure there is something out there to suit you.

Question: Every week my partner's ex drives past our house. We live in a cul de sac, so there is no reason for her to be here. It's the same time every week, and we have caught it on camera. I suspect she is gathering info for court proceedings. She has also approached the neighbors and asked who comes and goes, and what cars are here. Does this classify as harassment? It's making me very uneasy.

Answer: Make sure she sees you filming her. Go outside when she's driving around and use your phone to film her. Tell your neighbours that you are collecting evidence for the police to prove she is harassing you. It'll soon get back to her and she'll more than likely stop.

Question: I discovered a cousin of mine has been cyberstalking me over 10 years. I barely know him. He used website moderator privileges. He laughed when I confronted him. Webmaster ignores my email complaints and also tracks me. I'm rarely on the net. They have all my data. Local police are no help. Filed FBI report and no response. What to do?

Answer: Make sure you run anti-malware and anti-tracking on all your devices. Would be worth investing in the professional version of CCleaner (it's not expensive) and run it every day (I do). Become an expert in keeping your computer and phone secure.

Question: What do I do if when I am using my cell phone, even playing a game quietly, and my neighbors start banging on the walls? What are my rights?

Answer: Your question is not really about being stalked or spied on. You will have to do some local research regarding your rights as a citizen or tenant. Try speaking to your neighbors and ask them what the problem is. Perhaps use earbuds or headphones.

Question: What would you do if a person is watching you at the window?

Answer: Looking in, or looking out?

If someone is sitting looking from their own window, they have every right to do that. Some people are housebound and enjoy watching the world go by There's nothing wrong with it.

If someone is looking in your window, then ask them to stop. If they don't, collect photographic evidence and take it to the police. Tell them you are scared.

Question: What can I do about a family member, who is living with us, watching me through my window?

Answer: Take photos. Have your phone with you and when you catch her, take a photo. She'll soon stop. Put slatted blinds up so you can see out, but she can't see in. Make sure it's not happening to other family members.

Question: How can you track down a stalker?

Answer: You can catch your stalker by being vigilant and collecting evidence. Secure your property and install cameras. Keep your phone in hand and take photos. Follow the guidance given in the article and here:

Question: How do I find out who is spying on me once I find the device?

Answer: The device won't reveal who is spying on you. You need to think about your acquaintances, neighbors, colleagues, personal relationships, etc. Why would they want to spy on you? In your home, talk about something made-up... like you are thinking about getting a new dog, or taking a vacation. Be specific. Then see if anyone repeats that information back to you.

Read this article, including the questions and comments. For more ideas, reference this article:

Question: I live alone in a bungalow. I need to know how can I stop a pervert climbing my gate to watch me if cctv cameras dont put him off?

Answer: Take your recordings to the police. He's trespassing.

Question: Are there organized efforts to help identify and locate stalker gangs?

Answer: I doubt it, I don't know of any cases where anyone has been able to prove the existence of mass gang stalking. Being stalked by a single individual is common and usually, the individual is known to the victim. However, proof of gang stalking is difficult to obtain.

Question: My ex is stalking me and has remotely installed spyware on all devices. They light up and say camera activated. She's often in my neighborhood and keys my car and destroys any relationship I have. Do I need a lawyer?

Answer: You need the police first... and some evidence such as photos and video recordings. Also, keep a written log of all incidents. Make sure you get your devices cleaned up.

Question: My neighbor sits out in front and watches my apartment all day long. It is against the lease and the landlord did ask her to stop, but has been lax in dealing with it. The lady convinced the mail carrier to give her my mail, and said that I had told her to get my mail so she could bring it to me. I'm becoming afraid to leave my home and have begun having panic attacks. She's sitting on private property of the complex. What can I do?

Answer: Go out there with your phone and film her. Make sure she sees you. Get evidence from the mail carrier that she did instruct them to leave your mail with her, then speak to your landlord and say (again) that she is violating the lease and he needs to intervene on your behalf, otherwise you are going to the police.

© 2017 Bev G


Lori S on August 22, 2020:

Yes, Watergurl, I am sure I was set up too by a conspiracy of people. During the time when I was being stalked, I witnessed too many behaviors amongst a select group of people that pointed towards some sort of "behind my back" discussion regarding their strategy to harm me. I was savy enough at the time to recognize something was really wrong - I took copious detailed notes and I reported it to my boss (who admittedly did NOTHING, which has led to all sorts of legal issues for my workplace that my attorney is handling.)

It is very important that you keep good records of the stalking and harassment-type behaviors you are being subjected to. Keep a log and don't delay making your entries.

Watergurl on August 21, 2020:

The stalking I'm experiencing is as bad as it gets. It's similar to the show ""How to get away with murder." This isn't a game. I wish I could say I was imagining this, but I'm not. It's the thrill of the chase in these people's minds. They have endless money, and they're sick. I live around desperate poor people who will do anything for money. They've selling their soul. My very young upstairs neighbors work very hard at stealing my internet and cable, destroying the pipes connected to my apt and other components. Since they've moved in, I've had nothing but connectivity problems. They even work as fast as they possibly can. They jump up and down, hammer, bang on the floor, drag furniture, and other heavy items. It starts at 4 a.m. They wait for my daughter to come home from work so they can play loud music and shine their bright lights in our home. Calling the police is a joke because the orders come frome the police who are involved to make sure the stalking continues. There's some kind of PA system that they run all night long, that leads from my bedroom to the losers apt. It's just stupid noise, which makes me think that a psych doctor is involved, as people who represent themselves as doctors on IG are always contacting me on IG, as if I have set up a dating profile. They're either doctors or Army vets. You can't make something like this up. Never in my life would I have imagined that a group of pathetic idiots who have no purpose in life would set me up. They're obviously cowards, as they prey on the poor/destitute to commit their crimes. Both are no better than the other.

Lori S on August 20, 2020:

No, not drones. I live under the airspace where many private pilots train in small aircraft (Cessnas mostly). I worked at an aerospace company that subsidized flight instruction. I was secretly targeted by co-workers who were learning to fly as someone to spy on while they flew over my property as I was outside doing my chores - I am rural and own a farm. Apparently it became a BIG JOKE at the work place to observe what I was doing at home and then, back at the work place, harass me about my personal activities in some sort of concerted effort to make me paranoid. I told my manager that I thought I was being stalked by some of my co-workers, even though I didn't know the entire reason why I felt this at the time I reported it. My manager DID NOTHING. I eventually hired an attorney to help me figure it out. The resolution? The company has stated that these culprits didn't spy on me for a "negative" reason, they were told to cease their behavior, and a company gag-order was issued to end any discussion on the matter. I am still left with the lingering harm done to me by their behavior even though this happened two years ago and took place over a three+ month period. Needless to say, I am pretty pissed off at the entire thing, especially the way my company was able to dismiss it. I am still working to get some sort of legal settlement from my place of employment for management non-action when I reported it as it was happening.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on August 20, 2020:

Hi Lori, are you referring to drones? You'll have to check your local laws on the use of such devices. For example, here in the UK, it is illegal to fly them them close to someone's property.

Lori S on August 19, 2020:

I was harassed repeatedly by co-workers flying small aircraft over my house (unknown to me at the time), observing what I was doing in my yard, then would follow up at work with pointed comments related to the activities they saw me doing. Apparently they were playing a game with me to try to make me paranoid. Needless to say, I'm pissed off and want to take legal action against both these co-workers and my company (who did nothing about it when I suspected this foul play)

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on August 10, 2020:

Golfgirl, if he isn't verbally or physically harassing you, he's entitled to be in his own building. The police won't do anything unless you can provide evidence of stalking, harassment, abuse or verbal bullying.

As I said, record on your phone, while you gently explain that he needs to give you plenty of room because the close proximity of people makes you uncomfortable. Also make it very clear that you are not interested in dating. Leave no room for misinterpretation.

Golfgirl on August 10, 2020:

No he is careful not to get into the sexual harassment area but I am convinced he in monitoring and spying so he can intrude every time I leave and return to the building. He may be doing it to other people but doesn't want a date from them. He is a lonely middle age guy who lives alone and I think he thought I needed rescuing before he found out I work from home. So it started as incompetent suitor type and now we are in the rejected type stalker. Either way I think he deserves a law enforcement intervention but not sure that's possible.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on August 10, 2020:

Ho Golfgirl,

What do you mean by 'continues to harass and bully me'?

Do you mean verbally, physically? How close is he getting to you?

Personally, I'd get my phone out and record him while you very, very politely ask him to step away because you get anxious when people get too close to you.

Golfgirl on August 10, 2020:

Our condo super tried desperately to get to know me when he first started working in our building. Many coincidences showing up in the elevator when I returned yo the building, spending a lot of time on my floor in the hallway (loud voice so I can hear home), tried to get friends he made on my floor to help him. I have tried everything to avoid him, put him off and he continues to harass and bully by invading my personal space when I am moving about the building. He has told people Living on my floor I am mean to cover himself if I complain. I think he makes friends with security and they tip him off when they see where I am in the building via cameras. Property management/board seem indifferent when I indicated I asn't comfortable with home coming into my unit without security. I don't know how to report this to the police since he has a right to be in be building. I feel outraged this guy can get away with it. He seems to enjoy it.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on August 05, 2020:

Sealina, you have to be ready with your own phones so you can record him. Then maybe the police will be able to help. Make sure you get privacy blinds installed.

You could leave your blinds open and conceal yourselves outside somewhere and record him, or have an adult male friend approach him and warn him off.

Sealina on August 05, 2020:

My sister and I split a room. And someone had been watching us. We’ve seen him from our window at night several times in the past month and a half. He walks up to the window and records us. By the time we realize him he runs off. The cops say they can’t do anything since we have no idea who he is. And my sister and I are both under 18. So it’s really scary. He recently escalated to walking up to my front door because I wasn’t in my room. Idk what to do at this point, because I’m scared out of my mind. And the google search isn’t helping it’s only making things worse.

Watergurl on August 03, 2020:

I'm posting because it helps me to get my history of being a TI off my chest when I need to vent. No one really understands what we go through, especially family and friends. Yes, we have people who love and care for us, but..... My situation is so bad that the gang of stalkers who harass me daily has it all figured out. Each time I move, they manage to somehow approach a neighbor and get them involved so that I am constantly mistreated or annoyed. Also, if there is a vacancy above me, that's even better for them, as they can connect to my cell phone, landline, internet, and can break into my home as they please whenever I leave home. I now have criminals who recently moved in above me as a set up apartment meant to terrorize me. They hammer, jump, stomp when they walk, drill and saw, and drag some type of wooden furniture across the floor repeatedly furniture. They also run from room to room. There's a group of people that take turns doing this to me, as they come and go, not really living in said unit. I see them come and go, as some of the gangstalkers live onsite in other apartments. Not trying to hate, but many of my stalkers are Hispanic and poor. Ive noticed that many have a disabled placard hanging from their car mirrors. My lease vehicle, in which the lease is almost up has magic marker placed on some of my car's hubcaps. The hubcaps have been changed from black to a lighter color. They keep letting the air out of my tires. My vehicle is scratched daily. My driver's seat was broken. They probably used some type of tool to bend the metal which holds the seat in place, therefore, making it impossible to adjust the seat. Something was used that scatched the paint off my car down where you step in the car. I've tried calling the police regarding the in home harassment, but, the police come out, leave, and the shenanigans continue. It really does me no good to call the police, as they're involved, and are part of the problem. They're paid to help make sure the harassment continues. This is the reason they can drive BMWs and Jags. These people have profiled me more than they would on the FBIs most wanted list. Someone who is a cop boldly had a professional camera that a reporter would use to film a story. I saw him in his car cradling his miniature dogs with a religious bumper sticker on his car. He reeled the device in his car when I came close. One thing that I've discovered is that they're sexual predators also. I can't reveal that revelation though. I'm going through something that i coild have never thought that another human being would do to another human. It's much worse than Jeffery Epstein to say the least. Hatred is real, gangstalkers are real. I never ever thought that there are people actually out there who pay to watch fear. The powers that be pay poor people to do these things watching from secretly installed cameras and offsite monitoring systems. I regularly see car parked outside my windows shining their lights in my apartment. The police say they're not trespassing, go figure. I'm experiencing harassment as I type this, running, jumping over my head, as if they can see exactly where I'm sitting in my home, as that's where the most noise is focused. Also, I've noticed that things have gotten worse for me since Covid19, as people are paid by the rich to do this to me. They actually prey on the poor, and know who to target, someone like me who doesn't have the money to hire attorneys or private investigators, so, I suffer in silence. I've tried all I could to stop this that only the good Lord can do. Law enforcement has access to our personal data. All they need is your name or a license plate. Who am I, a single, black, middle aged mom who just minds her own business, and bothers no one. How could I ever trust so-called law enforcement? To cope, I've returned to smoking cigarettes. That's how I'm coping these days, cuz life must go on. I just wanna live.

Watergurl on July 21, 2020:

Gangstalking is very hard to escape, as these individuals are out of their minds and have thought of everything. Unless God decides to free you, if you believe in God, you're doomed. These ppl are thirsty for a kill, or to drive someone crazy enough so that they'll commit suicide. You have to be stronger. We the targeted individuals are their whole world. They can't even live or function without us. They need us to stay sick. You have to stay on your toes. The police/law enforcement is definitely not your friend, as they help to ensure that the stalkers never get caught, as they're paid to do so.. If you make a police report, then they'll change it to what they want it to say. No one is in our corner. If you try to tell someone about your plight, they won't believe you, or believe you but are afraid to get involved. God is silent when it comes to gangstalking.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on July 20, 2020:

Dennis, you keep saying this, but you haven't given any details so I don't know how to answer you.

Dennis rodriguez on July 19, 2020:

If i seem as if im spamming please forgive me but as so i had an incident around march where i almost had my life taken away but then they declined from doing so creating a scene while i was iny apartment.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on July 19, 2020:

Well, if you suspect this person of causing you harm and distress, it would be a good idea to speak to them (if possible) and find out their side. Of course, if they are criminal or drug dealers, you would do best to avoid them.

Keep evidence of the gangstalking activities, install cameras in your home, photograph anyone sitting outside your home in a vehicle. When you have gathered enough irrefutable evidence (that doesn't include videos of random people walking in the street) take it to the police and file harassment charges.

Hope you get it sorted, Dennis.

Dennis rodriguez on July 19, 2020:

To tell you the truth in the first place i never wanted to.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on July 19, 2020:

Hi Dennis, have you spoken to this person?

Dennis rodriguez on July 19, 2020:

Hi im dennis

I know the person who listed me as targeted individual.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on July 09, 2020:

Hi Noor,

I don't think there's any reason for you to be scared. Just keep telling your parents. If you can, take photos of these drivers from your bedroom. And close the curtains/blinds early - after dinner, way before you go to bed.

Whoever they are, they are not after you.

Noor on July 08, 2020:

Hi, i really need your help on something that has been happening to me for the past week now and i don't know what to do. I'm not the best writer but i hope you can understand what I'm about to say. I, live in a apartment and i have a window facing the parking lot. And, when ever i slide my currents at night before i sleep there is always a black car waiting for me next to the window and the light is on. sometimes there is a different car the color of gray who drives the car around my apartment and waits for me until i slide the currents. and when i do it just parks next my window keeps the light shining throw my window. Also, there is another car who always parks next to my window and waits for me to slide my current too. And, its also black but darker then the other one.The, thing is the that black car is always parked there. Its different form the others though. this black car turns off and as soon i slide the current it waits there for a couple of minuets and goes next my window and keeps the light on as the others. I, told my parents about this. My dad went up to the darker black car. He, told him to turn off the light and he said he was leaving. my, dad told me that i was dreaming and told me that they were workers. The apartment that i live in, no workers work at night they all work in the afternoon. The next day there were doing the same thing. they are also ways there around 11 to 4. I, don't even know these people at all. And, it only happens at night. I, really don't know what to do and i hope you understand this. And, i hope you answer me soon. because I'm sacred.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on June 27, 2020:

Hi Spark, a number of people have mentioned this kind of thing. All you can do is to make sure there are no spy cameras in your ceiling by doing a bug scan and possibly covering the ceiling with some sort of decorative treatment. Play loud-ish music as often as you can, and if the upstairs neighbor complains, tell him you are blocking out the sound of his movements.

No point going to the police unless you find evidence of cameras.

Any chance you can get in touch with the previous resident?

More here:

Spark20 on June 26, 2020:

This is going to sound odd but I think the guy who lives above me, I'm on the lower floor, he is upstairs and I think he is somehow watching me through the floor. I have experimented. Whenever I walk into a different room in my apt, he follows me and walks into the same room above me. What type of device allows for this kind of stalking? What kind of camera can see through the floor? I just moved in 2 weeks ago. I don't even know the guy. I'm pretty sure he is following me from his apt while I am in mine downstairs. How do I prove this? How do I tell the police this and sound sane????

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on June 17, 2020:

Owen, walk into the nearest police station and tell them what's happening.

Owen on June 16, 2020:

Yea... ive been stocked for the past 4 months by some middle aged guy, idk what to do?!? -This gets worse when i say im a 14 year old kid, and im being stalked by a MIDDLE AGED MAN!?

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on June 12, 2020:

Gil, you need to move to somewhere else.

Meanwhile, follow the advice given in the following article to locate hidden devices. It is perfectly legal to remove them. It's also fine to report your landlord to the police. But do look for a new place.

Gil on June 11, 2020:

help my land lord is constantly stocking me with hidden cameras even in the restroom which is uncomfortable and torturing me with low frequencys that hurt my ears if im sitting on the couch he stands exactly over me and i start to feel a terrible migrane if i move locations he also moves and follows inside tne house wherever i go i rent part of the house its divided i live down stairs he lives upstairs its a two story house he uses drugs meth hes a tweeker and so is his wife they dont sleep and dont work just live off the rents when i sleep facing the sealing my eyes start to hurt because of something he uses and i can hear them laughing getting a kick out of it i feel harrased he knows my social security number he knows all about my life and my family

Watergurl on May 22, 2020:

Collin: You're aware that this is not my website????? I'd love to help others with my knowledge. I also do not know if you're someone that's stalking me either, hum.

collin on May 20, 2020:

hello water gurl may I ask you for advice and help please.?

Jason on May 03, 2020:

This article has very good advice based on my experience, thanks for writing it.

It's a terrible environment when groups of vindictive or bored creeps can target and smear anyone for anything at anytime with little or no recourse available.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on April 16, 2020:

Stacy, turn around and take a photo of the stalkers. That might be enough to deter them.

Stacy Albritton on April 16, 2020:

How am I being watched 24/7 every where I go, I can see them in light reflection out of the inside corner of my eyeglass frames, I can't figure it out

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on March 26, 2020:

You are very welcome, Caroline. Stay safe.

Caroline Dixon on March 25, 2020:

I thank you so much for this page I thought i was going mad but you have answered my question im so grateful x

Watergurl on March 14, 2020:

I'm not upset with you at all. I still feel you have been a real help to me, which is why i look forward to your response. I'm just over all this stalking mess and the people behind it. I apologize if you misunderstood me.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on March 13, 2020:

Why would you be mad at me, Watergurl? I've always responded positively to you.

Of course stalking is real and not made up. I've been stalked. That's why I write these articles.

What people have to remember that people do suffer from psychosis. It's a fact of life. And when they say that 'everyone is conspiring against me, including my closest family and friends'... well, that's a huge clue that something is amiss with their perception. It's based on feelings, not actual events.

That, of course, is completely different from noticing that there is a vehicle parked outside in which someone appears to be monitoring your every move. Or discovering a hidden camera in your home. Or hearing someone sneaking around your property at night.

My advice to everyone is: you have to keep a written record, you have to take photos, make recordings and get proof. If it's based on feelings, then it *may* not be real.

Watergurl on March 13, 2020:

I have actually witnessed stalking, where the stalker will have you under surveillance as if you are a criminal. This is not psychosis, it's harassment, which is an invasion of privacy, and is illegal. I feel like I have what it takes to actually help ppl. I have ideas and experience. I would like to give my info for those in need to reach out to me. I'm not a judge nor jury, I'd just like to see if I can help. Stalking is real and nit made up. The people contacting you are not delusional. There are people out here who don't have a life, and enjoy inflicting pain for pay to innocent people. This is a new way that evil people with money use to entertain themselves.

They are also sexual predators who use the internet to connect. This is also a way for them to make money by money laundering. I've done my research.

My contact info if you want to use it.

If not, oh well. I'm not mad at ya.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on March 12, 2020:

It's an option, vr55. My reply to Jay was before I researched this. I noticed so many people saying almost the exact same thing - it's not possible that all their friends and family have turned against them or are conspiring to spy on them. You may be convinced that the occurrences are taking place around you, but you really need to consider that it might be something else. You've got nothing to lose by getting yourself checked out and then at least you can eliminate that possibility.

Just trying to help. Take it or leave it.

vr55 on March 12, 2020:

I came to you for advice and help, you out of all people should understand... I mean this is exactly what they want me to think too .. unbelievable.. I am literally being harassed I read the 2 articles you linked.. this is not the case not in the slightest I just read Jay's comment.. you didn't mention that to him what so ever... there really is no help for this kind of stuff.. you literally have to deal with it yourself people are terrible … I now regret coming to this website thank you...

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on March 11, 2020:

vr55, what you describe is identical to a form of psychosis. Think about it - why would friends, family, and coworkers all be conspiring against you? These are people who love and care for you. They aren't trying to harm you.

You say you can't go to the police because you have no evidence. No recordings? No photos? Then perhaps you need to reach out for help? Please go see your doctor.

vr55 on March 11, 2020:

I scrolled through and read many comments here, I am having the same issues as Watergurl and chicka45 I live in a apartment complex everyone knows my every move and even certain body parts being targeted and getting hit by "lazers?" that feel like water constantly even making certain parts of my body vibrate .. everywhere I go I am being gaslighted by multiple individuals family friends coworkers and everything I have voices coming from my phone and smart tv I have not been to the police as I have no evidence. I cant even connect my pc to my home router via wifi I have to use ethernet. but what is really weird is its being used to try and help me but also to harm I have been harmed and damaged more than anything else im not really sure what to do at this point I have even had something in my home cut me which has happened twice now

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on January 19, 2020:

Hi Jay, this article deals with bugging and other spy devices:

You might find some information to help you there.

jay on January 18, 2020:

I am being watched and co workers and even my superiors are participating, they know what is going on in my house, even family problems, and they would joke about it. i think our house is bugged.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on January 11, 2020:

Hi Kiran, there's no point getting yourself in to such an anxious state without actual proof. And the problem is, feelings don't count for evidence. I would advise you just to live your life and get on with your studies. If you do see anything that threatens you, capture it on your phone and take it to the police.

Kiran on January 10, 2020:

I feel like, I am under surveillance and wherever (within the country) I go I feel somebody spying and watching and threatening me me I stopped studying I am so scared.. What should I do please help? Would it better to move another country?

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on January 05, 2020:

Leave, Samantha, as soon as is practical, and find another hotel.

Samantha hendricks on January 05, 2020:

Plz help.... I am currently sittimg in my hotel room and ive just found hidden spy cameras in evry screw in here. They r in bathroom too behind murrior . i called the police and they wouldmt do anything. What do i do im scated

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on January 03, 2020:

Hi Ms Twiggley, my only advice would be to talk to whomever in HR who might be able to council you on the best decision.

I do absolutely understand, and to this day, I have never used my real name on the web for exactly the same reasons.

Ms Twiggley on January 03, 2020:

Hello, I could use some advice and direction please if you are willing. I have worked very hard to get a job at a world renowned business. For various reasons I have not advertised that I work there publicly. While I don't advertise that I work there, only family and a few close friends know. Typically the staff have their first name and picture in advertisements at our business location, that run on a reel. While it is not a job requirement to have our picture and name advertised I would be the only one on a small staff of about 12 people to NOT have their picture up. I have concerns about doing it because I have been the victim more than once in my life where I've been stalked by a stranger, in addition to being a survivor of sexual assaults in my younger days, even with one threatening my life. While that was a number of years ago, I am nervous and a bit terrified about putting myself out there so publicly and on a daily basis. It is a challenge for me at this time to know if it is my intuition warning me to not add my picture to the advestisements, or if it is my understandable fears around the situation that is making me so triggered. I am very proud and honored to be a part of the team where I work. It is my dream job. There are many reasons both for and against being more public about where I work. I am still just not sure. I would so appreciate your intuition and thoughts on the subject. Thank you!

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on December 23, 2019:

I wish I knew how to help or advise you, Watergurl, I really do. Any chance you could leave the State or even the country? Hugs.

Watergurl on December 23, 2019:

I could really use some advice here. My stalking situation has gotten even more strange. Ok, all my belongings are either taken and exchanged to similar items, either clothing that I can't fit, like being too large or small. I don't care what it sounds like, the truth needs to be told no matter how it sounds. Every article of clothing is snagged, all my towels and washcloths. If I try to buy something for myself it's stolen. Dishes are broken and placed back in the cabinet. It's gaslighting at it's best. All my furniture has been broken. My mattress has been pulled apart. It was a bed in a box type. The tire light on my car stays on, although I've put air in my tires many times. Someone put a plug in one of my tires. A police report does no good since the the police are complicit in the matter. My name is spelled incorrectly. The reports I tried to make are inaccurate. Nothing I've reported is even on the reports. Everything is just made up. There are cameras where I live, but I'm never given access to view them. I'm just blown off like I'm just a pest, making stuff up. This travesty of injustice was well planned out to make what I'm saying appear untrue. I know for a fact that my stalkers are mostly cops, veterans, and others. One old vet has the nerve to have a Purple Heart personalized license plate. Some of the vehicles that is stalking me has MIA or POW on their license plates. One plate said Spec Svcs. To me, this smells of organized crime. The Freemason and FOP are the always parked next to me when I come from an appt or grocery store. I have no ties to any type of cult. I'm a Christian, single female mom. I lead a sedentary lifestyIe, which I assume makes me the perfect victim. I'm not a loner, as I love ppl. I don't know why I was targeted, but I am. I have absolutely no privacy. My home and phones are hacked. My ID, shot records and other personal information has been stolen from my home, even my trash to be shredded has been stolen. Someone keeps using Google Play and turning the mic on, on my cell phone. If I leave a soft drink at home, when i return home to it, it's open and watered down. Some guy started following me on Instagram that said he was a remote electronic monitoring engineer. Many strange men follow me on Instagram who've only recently opened an account. I'm not even looking for a mate, and am not using my real name, but they always find me, and act as if they know me. One even called me a pretty damsel. How does he know what I look like, hum. I saw the owner of the dealership in which I leased my vehicle following me on several occasions. I've been in 2 staged accidents. I'm on a fixed income and reside in a govt bldg. I am sometimes followed home from a store like Walmart. Sometimes when I leave to go somewhere a car is waiting to follow me, or they'll go in front of me. Then, when I try and tell someone they'll say why would anyone want to do that to you, or that it's not true. I mind my own business. I don't bother anyone. I'm an outgoing, easygoing type of person who loves life. The plan seems very sinister and organized. It looks grim to say the least. When I come face to face with/one of these male or female losers they'll smile and laugh. It's just not normal. Women and men run to hold the door open for me. Of the things that have been done to me, I never thought another human being would even think of such cruel things that have happened to me that I haven't mentioned. What would you do? I'm bold and don't care of what ppl think b/c I'm not the only one who knows my truth. The group of stalkers know the truth. I'd also like to mention that I see ppl w/really nice cars like Porsche, Mercedes Benz, and other nice vehicles following me or racing past me doing 100 or so mph on the freeway, or just parked in my driveway, ready to leave as soon as i pull up to my apt complex. Most have tinted windows. I just needed to vent, as it just gets overwhelming, but I'm too vigilant to give up and quit. Of note, the only way someone would always know where you are is with illegal surveillance in your home and car. I am never alone, sadly. I can't even cry in private. I believe this is some type of hate group that does not know how to fit in w/regular people.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on December 05, 2019:

Yes, I've been reading material like this, it's quite disturbing. Thanks Barbara.

Barbara on December 04, 2019:

If this is happening to you, you could be a targeted individual. Look up targeted individual for more information. It's comon and awareness day is August 29.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on October 19, 2019:

To Jaye, report him to your employer. Make a formal written complaint detailing everything you have said in your comment. Having said that, unless he has assaulted you, made threats, or made direct, unwanted sexual comments, there isn't a lot anyone can do. It's all a bit vague - him looking at you and you just seeing his car is no evidence that he is stalking you. It simply sounds like he is attracted to you. Personally, I would ignore him completely.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on October 06, 2019:

Hi Margaret

Sounds like you are already doing the right thing. And well done for your quick thinking and not leading him to your home.

I would also suggest taking your phone and pointing the camera right at him. Photograph and video him. That might be enough to send him on his way.

It sounds like he's lonely and has latched on to you because he has mistaken a friendly, casual chat for interest on your part.

Let us know what happens.

Margaret on October 06, 2019:

Local man late 50's medium build seemed friendly. I was at a bus stop, he spoke to me, the bus came, I never thought anymore about it. Unfortunately, I was on the bus the next day and he got off at the same bus stop as myself. I live off the main road, I could feel someone behind me, I turned round quickly and this man hid, I walked on, turned round again quickly and he hid again. I stopped to make sure he had seen him.I walked away from my home and sat on a bench for at least half an hour.

The next day he again got off at my bus stop, I told a woman about him, We stood at bus stop he was across the road waiting for me. I phoned local police, and met the police man in our small town, he advised menot to speak to him. The police said if he kept this up, I was to have my mobile ready and phone them, he is breaking the law by harassing me.

Living in a small town after a while you observe these odd people.

What can I do

Lisa Jayne Barrett on September 20, 2019:

My friend managed to get a life long restraining order against someone who thought they had the right to watch her every move and spy on her then justify it by saying they were making sure she was "alright" and "safe" despite being a fully grown adult able to make her own decisions.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on September 17, 2019:

Joan, you need to keep a detailed log of every incident. Take photos of her recording and following you. Then when you have plenty of proof, go back to the police.

However, if she is simply filming from her own property, there is not much the police will do. She's perfectly entitled to do that. She's also entitled to walk down the street.

She is not controlling your life... you get to decide whether to let her behavior affect what you do and where you go. She's not going to hurt you, so do your best to ignore her - she'll soon get bored.

joan lucyshyn on September 17, 2019:

Someone has been watching my house for the last six weeks with a camcorder she puts a shadow on next door neighbors house. Me and my brother see it and we know who it is. It is creepy cause she stands right in her window you see her. Plus I get followed where I go and other neighbor to. I do have proof of this . what else can we do I tried to file a complaint with the police. This is getting out of control someone cant keep controlling someone esles life like this. It is very scarey and creepy making me and my brother sick and we know this person but haven't had no contact in thirty years until we moved we didn't know she lived there. This has to stop caus eit is destroying my life and my brothers. We kinda know the reson to. but gives her no business. I cant be in a house someone is watching.

Watergurl on September 14, 2019:


I want to answer you the best way that i can. Of note, this is not my account, as I do not have one. I will say this. Live and love life, embrace it, b/c this is it. Don't ever give up. As long as you have breath in your body, there's always a chance. Life is a precious gift from God. We all have trials that we go through, some more difficult than others. It's to make you stronger. No one ever said that life would be easy. I love life and so should you and anyone else. I'm so sorry for your plight. I get it, and i hope it gets better for you and your daughter. Read books about the struggles of others, and how they suffered various situations in life. It will give you a certain appreciation regarding life. Giving up is not an option.

Ozzie on September 10, 2019:

Watergurl everything you said and described sounds exactly like my life right now. I'm a single mother with a teenage daughter as well. My life has been turned up side down. I moved thinking that would help, not at all.I have found jammers in my home as well,and in some cases could not use my phone when I felt threatened. It's absolutly the most difficult thing I have been through. I stay home, I dont even talk to or with friends because i know i sound crazy.When my daughter came home from college in the summer I wanted her to see some of the things I had tried to explain to her. Of course she would always listen ,but from the look on her face she really didn't believe me. A few weeks went by and she began to see or hear strange things. Soon to follow was mom I think you are right. My icloud, my google account, my apple id, google maps,facebook, my lab top, my computer, my phone, all hacked and monitered.. I couldn't even retrieve my own icloud photos. I have had horible thoughts of ending my life, just for peace... no one understands everyone thinks your crazy... I found my photos on nasty websites, I've had strange men follow me... I have had Trucks Vans parked down the road or closer to my house...

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on August 24, 2019:

Hi there, 508. Your other comment is too long to post, I'm afraid. It sounds to me like you need to have your computer professionally scanned for viruses and malware. Take it to a specialist and ask them to clean it for you.

And yes, always keep your camera covered :)

508-99 on August 24, 2019:

So, this is the first instance where I've had my phone out and had the forethought to shoot a picture. I'm absolutely positive that there will be many more similar "attacks" (whatever you want to call them) and I will always always have my phone out and ready to take photographs!

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on August 19, 2019:

DDDD, I can only point you in the direction of another article:

Otherwise, you will need to get a specialized security company or individual to scan your home.

Don't forget, you can pick up network devices from other properties, so ask your neighbors if it belongs to them.

DDDD on August 19, 2019:

Hi, I'm being stalked with a -Hai IP camera- but I can't find it. I know they are doing it because I found the cam active on a network. The situation is more dire than you think so I would appreciate some help.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on August 14, 2019:

Okay, Watergurl, I didn't know who you were. I have no idea why my name appeared where yours should have. Not to worry.

Watergurl on August 14, 2019:

I did not try to use your name. I was sending you a message. I told you that strange things are happening to me that i have absolutely no control over. Sometimes text is added that I did not write on my messages to people. Im so sorry that happened. That's all I can say.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on August 14, 2019:

Why have you used my name? That's plain creepy. You are allowed to post anonymously.

Some messages don't through because they are filtered by an algorithm.

This article maybe of more use:

Bev G on August 14, 2019:

I sent u smth a few days ago, in which i was looking forward to a response, but it seems to have never made it to you. Idk what to do, as ive had my suspicions about my email being intercepted since i only receive a response from unimportant email. Hum, this stalking thing that's going on in my life is very serious. Sadly, my stalkers are very virulent, and keeps escalatin, b/c law enforcement is helping this to continue. I live my life obeying tbe law, but somehow have ppl in high positions invading my life. My whole life has been hacked, and all the doors I try to open to get this investigated are shut. So, i keep living.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on August 11, 2019:

Hi Patricia, yes you can talk about it, and you should. Report him repeatedly. Go to the police and tell them you fear for your life.

Move home, if you can.

Patricia Hutchens on August 10, 2019:

For 4 years I have been terrorized by a neighbor next to me in a condo. You can’t talk about this because it’s either your fault for going out with him and then turning him down. No one deserves a man to bang on your wall and keep you awake for days. That’s dangerous right there. Say things like I know everything about you. Pull out a switchblade to scare you. Moved and I recorded many out of the norm banging still every night and have them recorded. My punishment is no sleep still. I know he has devices that record a cameras it’s hard to prove that. Police report done I want my life back. Banging ongoing every night and I record. He will not man up now and be seen

And keeps in touch with same contacts. Help

billy on August 10, 2019:

Watergurl, I'm living something almost the same as you. Is it possible to talk to you? I would have a one only question for you.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on June 28, 2019:

To Lainey,

Really sorry, but your comment was far too long to get through. If you'd like to submit a shorter one, you'd be very welcome.

Watergurl on June 09, 2019:

Being a victim of stalking for no apparent reason leads to bitterness and bad thoughts abt the ones stalking you. These mass stalkers are individuals with serious mental issues who do everything they can to make it seem like you are the crazy one. It's hard trying to prove you are the victim that's having weird things happen to you. The stalkers have it all figured out. In my case, it involves individuals that are U.S.vetersns who drive around with personalized plates, and others who are quite bold. Ive noticed nice Jags and Saabs (vehicles) followingme around over and over. I myself have stalkers that live openly, and are not afraid of being caught because of their standing in the community. They are protected. They are police chiefs, doctors and lawyers who are sexual predators involved in money laundering, and other underworld, illegal activities. They are practicing sex traffickers. I moved again recently, only to find my carpet has been cut to install electronic spying equipment to spy on me and my teenaged daughter. These stalkers know our every movement. They even hire children to take photos. I've seen this. A lot of the things in my apt have been traded out for items i would never buy, like a tiny pot, or clothes that are too short or too small for me. I've tried to tell ppl who do not believe that there are sick individuals out here who do illegal activities for sport. Never second guess what is happening to your life. It is not your imagination. There are people that know the truth, but would be thrown in jail. And, also, God knows the truth, but, like slavery snd the Holocaust, who knows why horrible things happen to decent people. It sure doesn't feel good, but what do you do when law enforcement is dirty, and you don't have a lot of money to hire a team who can stop this risky, life endangering nightmare. Jail time is too good for someone who exhibits this type of behavior. I live my life, b/c no low life scum is going to get the satisfaction of me not having a life. I love life too much!!

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on June 08, 2019:

I think you are right, SGFR. Consider changing your phone number. If that doesn't stop it, have your phone reset to factory settings. Check your Facebook settings carefully; also any other social media accounts that you have. This person may be accessing as a friend-of-a-friend.

schoolgirlforreal on June 08, 2019:

I have a coworker who has been spying on me on my smartphone for several months. I told my boss and family and they said I imagined it. the person repeated word for word a post I had on facebook that was only for friends to see, and they were not a facebook friend. and routinely they have made comments about many of my personal text messages on messenger. I have no proof. but I ended up getting rid of my smartphone for a flip phone and it stopped, mostly.

then my other coworkers kept suggesting I get a new smartphone. I did not. I used my smartphone only at home for the past week, with wifi, for convenience and it started again. so I stopped.

I am disturbed and upset by this.

I can only use my internet at home.

I don't know what else to do, but forgive and move on. Less technology is better- I think it's healthier.

Whocares on June 05, 2019:

Seems more detrimental/harming to my calmness than trying to do the opposite (trying to make me feel safe/calm) Was this written by an american? Its ALL just stalking/terrorising to me....its cruel! whether legal or illegal

Watergurl on May 09, 2019:

Thanks Bev G for remembering me and not judging me. This is the only site where i can vent about my life. You gave me some good advice of what not to do. I have an aggressive personality. I've gone up ro some of the perps, and all they do is laugh when i ask them why. It's just a game to them. I do react to their actions, and I guess that is feeding in to their mental illness. That's a really good point not to acknowledge them or what they are doing, as the whole situation has grown. Again, thank you for keeping your blog going!

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on May 08, 2019:

Hi Watergurl, I remember you from last year. So sorry to hear this torture continues.

I suggest documenting every incident on a blog. Include your photos, if possible. You said they are tracking your internet activity, so make sure you write your blog as if they are nothing more than annoying mosquitoes. Just laugh at their antics, call them childish. Don't rant or get angry because then they are achieving their objective.

Good luck.

Watergurl on May 08, 2019:

I just want to put this out there, as CVive been a victim for over 6 years. It's basically informative. Yes, your television is a method of keeping tabs on you. They broke mine. Also, each time i leave my home one of the tiny buttons is broken or removed. My television has been disabled, and so has my remote ctrl. My home is entered each time my child and i leave home. Zippers on my clothing have been cut off. All my clothing and linen have been snagged. My bed and other furniture have been broken. The frame on my brand new sofa was broken. The pillows on my sofa were replaced w/similar pillows. Our shower curtain is ripped daily. One of the leaders who started this habitual stalking owns security companies that follow me everywhere. My home has been infiltrated with technology w/o my permission. My food is tampered with or taken, or replaced w/rotten food, or poison. Ive gotten sick from eating or drinking certain food or drinks.

These stalkers take what they want from my home. No one understands unless they've been victimized. They try to run into me daily. They tailgate me. My car is damaged regularly. My grocery bags are ripped open and tampered with. My car has been soaped from the inside. Oil is placed on my armrest in a circle. I've seen ppl/strangers. running from my car. I been to the local police and FBI. I can sometimes see someone or else moving on my cell phone. I've mailed letters tat never reached their destination. I've been surrounded by a motorcycle gang. Ppl get paid to do this. Also, law enforcement protects these sexual predators involved in sex trafficking. It runs deep. Veterans and others are involved. Start taking pictures of the stalkers. You will be surprised at what you find. This is a sport for some of the wealthy perpetrators involved. They will try and make you look like a liar or delusional, even when you can verify what you've seen. They use technology help them. I've seen them on tablets, walking around a store or other like they work there. I believe it's a sport to these predators. They connect w/ each other on the dark web. I know this because I watch too. Ive said enough. Im tired of being violated. Never, ever trust law enforcement, b/c the ones whom you think will help you are the ones making sure the stalking never ends. They police and detectives protect the criminals. Vets, firefighters, and city employees are also involved. I've seen my picture on a perp's cell phone. One even had a picture of my car and where it was parked at a doctor's appointment. I leaned over the stalker's shoulder where he was sitting, waiting for my appointment to end. These individuals are criminally insane. Turn it around by journaling, and taking their pictures. Don't be afraid. Oh, they will also shadow you on the internet. Of note, if this matters, I'm a Christian and thought I was exempt from smthg like this, wrong. Oh, never give up. Oh, and when you try and share, people, even family will not understand the truth. They might ask "why you." I say b/c some ppl are sick and act normal. Look at the world around you. Some people are criminally insane. I never even thought of doing the unspeakable things that have happened to me to another person.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on May 07, 2019:

If you have a smart TV it can be hacked. Most have built-in microphones.

rather not say on May 07, 2019:

can people spy on me threw my tv. I know and can't prove it. I can't figure out the device they are using to do this with. any ideas? i would like to know the device

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on April 06, 2019:

You need another IT expert to help you get this resolved, Tony.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on April 06, 2019:

That's weird, Gadfly. Can you contact Linkedin directly? Explain the situation.

Tony on April 06, 2019:

Since i last commented, he has hacked 3 of my phones and just learned he hacked my new laptop,and my Router..

I am dealing with red tape when it comes to the legal system.

He is an IT expert and that does not help the situation.

Gadfly from Olde London Towne on March 23, 2019:

Unbeknown to me. my profile has been submitted to the app 'Linkedin' without my permission. Unable to access it as i do not have a password. It is being checked on a weekly basis.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on February 22, 2019:

It must be, Tony.

Tony on February 22, 2019:

I am a man being cyber stalked by ex roommate who is a man.

Unsettling AF.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on January 04, 2019:

Yes, I read that. It seems news presenters are quite frequently targeted.

Ian Stuart Robertson from London England on January 04, 2019:

Serial nuisance gets two and a half year sentence for pestering a B.B.C. presenter with threatening mail.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on January 03, 2019:

Maybe your girlfriend was on the phone? If you don't trust her, why is she still your girlfriend?

Cain on January 03, 2019:

Ibam being told i am crazy n which im to the point i am about to lose my mind over these things going on. But i have a security camera n my house and several times i have had audio footage come back of my gf coming into the room and entering the closet talking to someone who i have never seen but u can clearly hear her and the "others" talking. I have tore the place apart looking but she always seems to be one step ahead of me. And ever simce she got a domestic on me for no reason its as if people from our road r watching me. I have red handed caught one folowing me with his lights out twice

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on December 23, 2018:

Cesar, I haven't approved your comment as there are too many identifying personal details. You are welcome to leave another one, but leave the ID/address off.

Tim Truzy from U.S.A. on December 23, 2018:

Hello, theraggededge,

Following some of your very insightful advice, I don't keep a high internet profile, avoiding creating my own website and visiting very infrequently Facebook or any social media account. So far, this has reduced any problems with stalkers or vengeful individuals.

Using a website where the focus is creativity, such as Hub Pages, for many of my interactions adds another layer of protection from those who may have less than genuine motives.

Taking a few preventive measures can be the cure.

Thanks again.

May you have peace during this holiday season.



Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on December 23, 2018:

You're an angel, Tim. xx

Tim Truzy from U.S.A. on December 23, 2018:

Of course, I would not have any objections. I've read enough of your posts and articles to know you are a sincere soul who believes in offering help to others.

I am honored, my HP colleague.

Much respect,



Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on December 23, 2018:

This is great, Tim. Would you have any objection to me including some of this in the main article? With credit, of course. If you have a website, I'd be happy to add a link.

Tim Truzy from U.S.A. on December 23, 2018:

It's important to note that in this world where there are many technological devices, such as pumps at the petrol station that suddenly starts talking while you are pumping gas, we may suspect something that may not be happening at all. This world is becoming more and more crowded, and we may encounter a substantial number of people on any given day. Therefore we should carefully assess whether or not we are acting paranoid. I was just suggesting that variable should be looked at carefully in determining whether or not something is happening.

Are you taking medications which may impact your perception of reality?

Do you have family members who had similar experiences?

Is it ongoing or during certain times of the day or night?

Has this happened at other points in your life?

Has your life been relatively quiet until now or have you had disagreements with various people?

Do you live in an area notorious for criminal activity?

Are you currently involved with people who are conducting illegal activities even though you are not?

Are you or your friends, relatives, or other individuals fairly wealthy?

Do you frequent bars, pubs, clubs, or other places where people gather to party and/or celebrate?

Are you seeing or have gathered evidence of stalking? Are you hearing voices? Have you been approached?

This is not discounting in any way the real probability that a person is being monitored without their consent, these are just factors to scrutinize in determining whether a person may be stalked. These are some of the questions the police and a therapist would consider. Examining these variables can help a person decide whether or not imagination is playing a role in the perception of being stalked.

I hope this helped, Bev G.


Much respect and may your holidays be peaceful and rewarding,



Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on December 23, 2018:

Thanks for your comment, Tim. Could you elaborate a little about the psychological aspect? It might be useful for other readers.

Thanks again.

Tim Truzy from U.S.A. on December 22, 2018:

Hi, Bev G.,

Great article with useful advice. People do stalk, but people should be careful of their own psychological stability. I've had to help clients who were stalked, and assisted the police on occasion.

This was a very helpful article, hitting upon the important things for people to consider.


Much respect,


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