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I'm Being Watched—How to Deal With Stalkers and Spies

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A long time ago, I had a stalker. He still pops up now and then. I like to think I can help others in the same situation.

Who Is Watching Me?

Have you got an odd feeling that somebody is watching you? You may see a fleeting movement out of the corner of your eye or hear strange noises when the house is quiet. You wonder if your home is under surveillance, so search the internet: "somebody is watching me.” The results are not helpful... mostly useless links to song lyrics. Nothing seems to reflect exactly how you feel: alone, vulnerable, angry, scared, and violated.

What's the difference between spying, stalking, and surveilling?

A spy is anyone who observes you secretly. A stalker is someone who spies on you repeatedly, for their own psychological or emotional reasons, with motives that are akin to harassment and intimidation. But surveillance is simply a close observation of a person who's under suspicion. So while a spy's motives might be unclear, a stalker's motives are twisted, selfish, and personal. If you are under surveillance, on the other hand, you are being watched because someone is trying to figure out if you've done something wrong. Surveillance is less personal and more purposeful.

Spying or stalking might be done by a jealous ex boyfriend, a nosy neighbor, or an obsessed acquaintance, while surveillance might be performed by a company, a private investigator, or the government.

If you feel sure that you are being spied on, the first thing to do is trust your instincts. They are usually correct. Next, there are several things you can do to determine and prove that it is happening. Don’t think it will go away, because it usually won’t. It's extremely important to take your suspicions seriously. Put yourself into a position of power and take action.

Below, you'll find advice to fit each different scenario of being watched.

What to Do If You Suspect You Are Being Spied On:

  1. Determine who your stalker is and why they are spying on you, if you can. Below, you'll find a long list of possible offenders and motives.
  2. Look for and collect proof of their spying. Scroll down for details about where and how to look for evidence.
  3. Learn how to prevent and/or prosecute the person who's stalking you. You have many options, and each is described in full below.

Find Out Who Your Stalker Is

Sit down and brainstorm a list of possible suspects. In the majority of cases, the person watching you will be known to you—a personal stalker. The following is a list of possibilities to help jog your memory and generate a long list of all the potential culprits.

Types of Personal Stalkers

  • The most common stalker is an ex or current partner or someone who feels rejected. People who display signs of jealousy or feel rejected are number one on the list of possible watchers. However, this type of stalker wants you to know that it’s them. Their ego demands that you recognize their ‘devotion.’ They are convinced that you need to learn the truth, that deep down you are completely in love with them and just need to be shown the error in your thinking. This behavior is a sign of mental illness. You won’t be able to convince them of this, so you need to contact someone who might be able to help. In every case, report them to the police.
  • Another kind of personal stalker is someone whom you may have upset or angered in the past. Even inadvertently. Consider the people in your neighborhood, at work, at businesses and spots you frequent. This type is less likely to advertise their identity; they just want to make you suffer in their desire for revenge.
  • Neighbors are also quite common among stalkers. After all, the closer people live, the more opportunity there is to both rile the emotions and maintain constant surveillance. You may have caught their attention or incurred their wrath in some way and now, the boundary between you and them is being breached.
  • Then there are the randoms: Someone who has taken a fancy to you, someone who you may have exchanged a few words with and gone merrily on your way, leaving them thinking that your interaction meant far more than it actually did. These are the obsessives.
  • The last variety is the predatory stalker. These are the ones who care nothing for you as a human being, they just want to own you—even for just a few minutes. These people, thank goodness, are very rare. Nevertheless, every sensible person, male or female, should take reasonable precautions when out alone. Rape alarms, pepper sprays, and a noisy dog are all good methods of protection. Better still is to have some basic knowledge, and practice, of self-defense skills.

What do stalkers have in common?

Whatever category your stalker comes under, they all share some commonalities:

  • They are convinced that they are in the right, that they deserve to watch you or that you belong to them in some way.
  • They have no idea—or don’t care—what effect their behavior has on you.
  • They are able to rationalize their actions to any degree. In fact, they don’t think they are doing anything wrong or out of the ordinary.

Is Your Ex Stalking You?

The following are examples of stalker-like behavior:

  • They show up wherever you are, unexpectedly and uninvited.
  • They monitor you on social media.
  • They keep finding ways to contact you, even after you've changed your numbers and accounts.
  • They keep tabs on you via shared contacts.
  • They enter your house, even when they don't have a key.
  • They send gifts even after you've tried to end the relationship.
  • They install spyware on your devices or keep track of you via GPS.
  • They seem to be keeping tabs on, and collecting information about, you.
  • They spread rumors or post personal information about you.
  • They refuse to leave you alone.
  • They don't take "no" for an answer and pursues a relationship with you any way they can.

Signs Your Neighbor Is Spying On You

  • They know things about you that they shouldn’t know.
  • You suspect that they are listening via some sort of device.
  • Your mail is being tampered or interfered with.
  • They have entered your home or property while you were out.
  • They stalk you on social media.
Scroll to Continue

Read More From Owlcation

For more information, read My Neighbors Are Spying On Me: What Can I Do?

How to catch a stalker and protect yourself.

How to catch a stalker and protect yourself.

How to Get Rid of a Personal Stalker

Step #1 - Collect Evidence

Keep a written record of every single incident, however trivial, with dates and times. Take photos, recordings, and screenshots, if needed. Keep track of any witnesses (with names and contact information). Keep backed-up electronic records, too—remember that your phone or computer may be compromised, so have a second device that no one knows about. For information about how to check your house and car for spy devices, read How to Find Spy Devices in Your Home, Car, Cell Phone, or Computer.

Step #2 - Reset Phones, Computers, Passwords, and Social Media

  • If your stalker might ever have had had access to your devices, they could have installed spyware or GPS tracking devices without your knowledge, so the smartest thing to do is get new ones.
  • Even if you don't think they've installed spyware, reset your devices to factory settings and choose new passwords for all sites you frequent, including banks, social media, entertainment sites, and online shopping. This may only be a temporary solution, but do it anyway.
  • If the stalking was online, then deactivate your social media accounts. Try setting new ones up under a different name and share your profiles with trusted friends one at a time, over a period of weeks. At the very least, check all your privacy settings and make sure you're not sharing with the public.
  • Don’t post your life on social media. People can pick up all sorts of clues about you, your routine, places you go, etc. Keep posts general.

Step #3 - Report the Stalker

As soon as you have one or two pieces of evidence, go to the police and register a complaint. These days, they seem to be taking stalking and harassment more seriously than in previous years. Even if they can’t act because there is not sufficient evidence, there will be a record of your complaint so any officer you speak to subsequently will be able to look up the case record. Don’t be worried that the police will get fed up by your complaints. Keep them updated at all times.

Step #4 - If You Know Your Stalker, Employ the Gray Rock Method

If the stalker is known to you and regularly tries to make contact, use the Gray Rock Method. This term was coined by the victim of a psychopath stalker who learned how to deal with him. It is a useful technique when you have to speak to your stalker because you have some common interest, such as a child together.

The Gray Rock Method:

  • Respond only when you have to.
  • Keep your responses as short, boring, and monotonous as possible.
  • Add no inflection to your voice, use bland vocabulary, and display no emotion.
  • Only give essential facts in order to conclude the interaction.

This method works well if the stalker shows psychopathic or sociopath tendencies. They thrive on drama so don’t give them what they want. Eventually, their behavior will change as they lose interest in you. Gray Rock can enable you to become invisible to that person, and any other who shows an unwanted interest in you. By making yourself as boring as possible, they will soon look for more interesting prey.

Is Stalking or Spying On Someone a Crime?

Stalking is usually an accumulation of several acts which, when combined, become a crime. For example, sending emails is not a crime; watching someone's house is not a crime, and following them is not a crime. But when the motive is sociopathic, when larger patterns of intent are established, and if probable cause can be established then innocent behavior turns into stalking.

Stalking is usually (but not always) perpetrated by men on women. It's usually a man who feels rejected by a woman who he believes owes him something. He thinks he is entitled to her attention and if he doesn't get it, he takes matters into his own hands and forces intimacy any way he can.

However, women can be stalkers too. And their vengeance knows no bounds; they will sometimes extend their harassment to their ex's new partner.

Is stalking illegal?

Stalking is illegal, but it requires sufficient proof. To prove it's happening, you must be able to clearly prove a pattern of behavior, that threats were made (implicitly or explicitly), and that there was criminal intent to cause fear. With proof, you can get the court to issue a protective or restraining order.

Most stalkers stop their creepy behavior if they are confronted by police, but if they don't stop, then it becomes a criminal matter. This is why it's important to involve the police.

Since anti-stalking laws and legislation vary from state to state, check out the Stalking Resource Center to find out about your state's policies.

No, it's not legal, but it's done all the time. To read more (and find out what to do about it), read How to Check Your Airbnb Rental for Spy Cameras.

How to Catch a Stalker by Collecting Evidence

It is not recommended that you confront your stalker yourself. Instead, do what you can to collect evidence so the police can help you.

  • Keep a log describing every single incident, however small, including dates and times.
  • Take photos, video, and audio recordings if possible. Have hidden security cameras mounted around your property. You can buy many relatively inexpensive counter-surveillance devices online. This wireless WiFi motion detector camera is ideal.
  • Keep track of any witnesses (with names and contact information).
  • Keep all emails, texts, letters, voicemail, and records and screenshots of any other electronic communications. Even if they are sent anonymously, each email contains IP information which can help investigators find your stalker, don't delete them.
  • Write down the details and license plate numbers of any suspicious vehicles.
  • Hire an investigator or PI to watch and collect evidence against your suspected stalker.

Traps for Stalkers

Again, it is not recommended that you physically trap, confront, or even interact with your stalker.

  • On the other hand, by using a device like an anti-spy signal detector, you can discover a hidden microphone transmitter or video camera in your home.
  • Hidden cameras placed strategically might be helpful, too. If you can't afford cameras, you might be able to rent the equipment.
  • If you don't feel equipped to do your own counter-surveillance, hiring an investigator or PI who has access to all the latest gadgets and tech to watch and collect evidence for you can help build your case.

Stalking Resources

Why Would Someone Be Under Surveillance?

  • If you are a witness to a crime or involved in any legal proceeding.
  • If you are filing for divorce or suing for custody of your children.
  • If you owe money.
  • If you have filed for disability or bankruptcy.
  • You work for a company that is being spied on by a competitor.
  • If your work makes you interesting in some way (if outsiders might be looking to capitalize on your knowledge or take your company to court for any reason).
  • You engage in criminal activity.
  • You have knowledge that could damage reputations or projects.
  • You are involved in a legal case and the other side may be seeking to build up evidence to discredit you.
  • If some individual has taken an unhealthy interest in you.
  • If you are close with another person who fits any of the descriptions above.
  • The government is tracking you. This is a given. Most governments now collect metadata on everyone. In the UK, CCTV tracks your every move if you live in a city.
  • You have a mobile device, a tablet, or a cell phone. Your apps, browsers, and devices are tracking you, your surfing habits, your social media posting—everything. If you take a photo, GPS data is transmitted to reveal your location. The only way to prevent this is to remove the battery.

Are You Under Surveillance?

If you suspect you are under surveillance by some sort of organization or even if an individual is watching you, read: How to Find Spy Devices in Your Home and take the steps outlined therein to find out if your home has been bugged. Remember that these days most bugging takes place via an electronic device. It couldn’t be easier for someone to install an invisible app on your phone, or hack into your laptop’s camera or microphone. They can even be installed remotely.

How to find out if you're under surveillance, and what to do if you are.

How to find out if you're under surveillance, and what to do if you are.

Signs That You Are Under Surveillance

  • Vans parked outside your home. Often, they appear like innocuous domestic-type business such as plumbing, heating, building, that sort of thing. Unless you can see actual work being carried out at a neighbor’s home, then be suspicious.
  • Unusual activity, strangers in the neighborhood, a change in the usual routine are usually nothing to worry about. However, you can sometimes feel in your gut that things are ‘off.’ So keep your antennae alert for anything out of the ordinary. However, the very nature of these methods mean that the operatives who carry them out are so skilled that 99 out of 100 people will never know that they are being watched.
  • Strange noises on your house or cell phone and a sudden, fast battery drainage are signs that someone might have installed spy cameras without your knowledge or accessed your devices remotely.
  • You notice drones overhead. The ease of use and fast advancing technology makes spying-by-drone commonplace.

How to Prevent Surveillance

In short, you can’t. Unless you can prove that the surveillance is illegal, threatening, harassing or damaging, if you want to live in general society, you have to accept that your information and behavior is monitored by many agencies.

Alternatively, you can change your lifestyle, move to a location where you can live off-grid or become a nomad.

Am I Being Followed by the Government?

Yes, the government is tracking you. They are tracking everyone. Most governments have become quite adept at collecting metadata on everyone. In the UK, CCTV tracks your every move if you live in a city.

Who Else Is Surveilling Me?

Data brokers, social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, websites you visit, apps you use, search engines and browsers, advertisers, and many others have reasons to collect information about you.

Being Watched: It Might be Your Imagination

It starts with a minor incident, such as a trash bin being knocked over late at night, then perhaps the sound of a squirrel in the roof. Your fertile imagination builds on it and attributes every sound, unexpected beep on your phone and passing footsteps to your ‘somebody is watching me’ fear. The fear becomes a phobia.

Although spying does happen, nine times out of ten it is nothing more than a feeling. Many people experience it. Severe cases are called “The Truman Show Delusion” after the movie where Jim Carey’s character realizes that his whole life is just a TV show being broadcast to millions and he is the only one who's unaware that he is the main character.

If you can be objective enough to realize that your fears are unsubstantiated, but they persist nevertheless, then a course of counseling, a visit to a psychotherapist or even an honest chat with a trusted friend can set your mind at ease.

This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.

Questions & Answers

Question: How can I get people to quit watching and harassing me?

Answer: Read the article and implement some of the suggestions given.

Question: I have been spied on for over a year. I've moved states and have quit jobs over and over. I feel helpless. I have family members involved, and the more I run from it, the worse it gets. I've reported it to the FBI and the police, and it just makes it worse. I constantly have my location shared while I'm driving and my phone bugged. It has turned in to a game that involves thousands of people, but with little proof, is there anything I can do?

Answer: And that's the key. You have to collect proof. Keep records. Write everything down. If you see and hear these things happening, then there must be proof of them, yes? Try to determine why you have been targeted. Try to remember the first time you became aware of it. Write or record as much information as you can recall.

Then, once you have the proof, contact the Stalking Resource Center - link provided in the article.

Question: My sister started hearing voices months ago. She swears they are real people. The more I listen to her, the more it sounds real. Is it possible an agency is watching and listening? She thinks the house is monitored. She said they were surprised she could hear them and I think maybe its the metal plate in her head from an accident years ago. Is this possible?

Answer: Anything is possible. Follow the advice given in the article and also here:

As far as the metal plate is concerned, I don't have any suggestions apart from doing some research on the possibility.

Question: Are there any positive reasons why someone may be watching you?

Answer: I can't think of any that would mean someone constantly monitoring another person unless they were being legally surveilled by law enforcement. I suppose you could imagine that an estranged parent or other relative might be 'keeping an eye' on the person, but not actually watching them. So no, not really. If you know of any, please leave them in the comments section below.

Question: What devices can I use to see if my neighbor has video or audio surveillance directed at my home? I called a local company, but their investigation services cost almost $1,000. I'm a single, newly divorced mom on a budget. This creepy interchange has been going on for at least four years.

Answer: It's unlikely you will be able to detect any remote devices. However, it is possible to check for devices installed on or near your property or car. Carrying out your own anti-surveillance investigation is pretty cheap. I'd also advise you to install some low-cost cameras of your own. If you can gather proof, he is watching you so much the better.

Question: Are there organized efforts to help identify and locate stalker gangs?

Answer: I doubt it, I don't know of any cases where anyone has been able to prove the existence of mass gang stalking. Being stalked by a single individual is common and usually, the individual is known to the victim. However, proof of gang stalking is difficult to obtain.

Question: Is there a device similar to a spectrum analyzer that can detect the range and source of the frequencies I hear, especially at night when my sleep is disrupted through electronic attacks on my body?

Answer: Yes you can purchase a simple app for your smartphone. Although you may have to hook it up to a sensitive microphone in order to pick up the sounds. Try Sound Spectrum Pro or similar.

Question: I've caught my father-in-law on many occasions spying on me through windows. It's really creepy. I've caught him looking in my bedroom window at 5:30 am. I've caught him next to the bathroom window many times when I'm showering. I don't know what to do. He constantly watches my every move. Any suggestions?

Answer: 1. Tell your husband.

2. Ask your father-in-law to stop. You're an adult and you are entitled to privacy.

3. If he doesn't stop, take photos and record him.

4. Tell your mother-in-law.

5. Go to the police.

6. Better still, move out as soon as possible.

Question: What if you know the person who is stalking you, but you're too afraid to tell anyone about it?

Answer: Nothing can change unless you do something, and that means asking for help. You cannot let this person ruin your life any longer. Talk to someone you can trust.

Question: A guy keeps texting my wife and won't stop. What should I do about this persistent guy bothering my wife? And there are also some messages I take as a threat. What should I do about these threatening texts?

Answer: Your wife should block him. Easily done. Consult the operating instructions for her phone or contact your network provider for information.

Question: I am being watched by my neighbors. My lawn has been vandalized, my cars have been keyed, and the tires nailed or deflated. I believe they have posted something negative about me online. Is there any way I can find out about what is posted about me?

Answer: You can only do this by Googling your name, nickname, or perhaps your address. If you're on Facebook and Twitter, then search their details. With the other stuff, like I tell everybody, collect evidence; actual camera footage of them causing vandalism. Load up your car and home with spy cameras - they are pretty cheap these days.

Question: My brother, who is a pilot, and my sister-in-law have been stalking/spying on my family and me. They have obtained nude photos of my daughter and me; I am so shocked by this I don't know what to do. I've had a traumatic brain injury and find confusion greater now than it has been in weeks. Can you advise the first three or four things I should do?

Answer: They are listed in the article above. 1. Obtain proof. 2. Block access; don't make it easy for them. Close your blinds. 3. Report to police. 4. Drop all interaction with them. Also read through the questions and comments for more suggestions.

Question: I have hundreds of people stalking me and taking pictures of me all the time. What do I do?

Answer: No, you don't. You may have something called 'scoptophobia'. It's a form of anxiety and paranoia. It might also be a social anxiety disorder. Please seek professional, medical advice.

Question: I've been seeing multiple different people (the three same men) follow me and take photos or video recordings of me. I'm positive this is the case because when I see them I'm always alone (dark streets or other secluded places) and they're not farther than 20 meters. Why would they be following me?

Answer: I can't tell you why, but it's really important that you alert a family member about this as soon as possible.

Question: I have a stalker who collects off my cell phone and possibly computers anything I say. She contacts people in my life and bad mouths me and then repeats things I've said asking them to repeat it to me. It's very creepy and has been going on for a long time. I feel very violated. What can I do?

Answer: You have to collect proof. So, you could set her up by saying something that is not true. For instance, like you intend to buy a certain pet or car or take an exotic vacation. Make it be something out of character for you. Then see if that comes back to you. Then you will know for sure.

If you can collect actual proof, as I've mentioned, you can report her for harassment. If that's not possible then do all you can to stop it happening. Get your phone cleaned up and your computer checked. Ask people who repeat these things to you to ignore her because you suspect she's a psychopath. Be calm and rational about it.

Read this, including the questions and comments:

Question: I have several stalkers watching me and following me. How do I get evidence to bring criminal charges and take them to court?

Answer: Read the section above, subtitled 'How to Get Rid of a Personal Stalker'. Under that, you'll see 'Collect Evidence'.

Question: Is the fact that my neighbour walks by my house five times a day stalking?

Answer: No, not unless they are trespassing on your property or carrying out other worrying or threatening behavior. Maybe they are just walking?

Question: What if they are using technology that allows them to look through the floor into the apartment below?

Answer: There's no such technology. They can use equipment that shows heat sources or, if there's no in-between floor/ceiling space, then there could be holes drilled through. To locate them switch all the lights off in your apartment so that it is pitch black. Then slowly scan the ceiling for pinhole light shining through.

More information here:

Question: Is it illegal to grab and break a cell phone if someone is taking pictures of me? I also saw a drone right in front of my house. How can I stop that as well?

Answer: You'll have to check your local laws. For instance, in the UK, the first scenario could be viewed as criminal damage. The second one is being dealt with by new laws regarding the licensing of drones and where people are allowed to fly them.

The best thing to do is to mount your own counter-surveillance. If someone is taking pictures of you, whip out your own camera and take pictures of them. Same with the drone.

Question: I have a stalker who is spying on me in my home. My roommate caught him two days ago spying on me in the shower. I’m thinking of getting a camera & lights. What else can I do?

Answer: Report him to the police. Do not wait. Do it now.

Question: I'm being watched by my husband. He thinks I am having an affair with a neighbor. What should I do?

Answer: Follow the advice given in the article. You need to have proof that he is spying on you. I can't help you regarding his accusations. If you are still married to him, think about filing for divorce.

Question: What if you go outside and every time you are out there someone is watching you and you know who they are?

Answer: If you are going outside at random times, then it's unlikely that this person is out there every single time. If you suspect someone is watching you, get proof and take it to the authorities.

Question: I'm watched and harassed every day. I have gone to the police and the courts. It is a very traumatic and horrible experience that has a tremendous negative effect on my well being. I recently went for four days without drinking any water because of how traumatized and uncomfortable I am. I haven't eaten for four days. I hide almost every day as I have since it started five months ago. What do I do about my stalking and harassment?

Answer: Firstly, you cannot let this problem affect you in this way. Don't hide away. No one has hurt you or threatened you directly. So please eat and drink properly. Next, you must collect evidence of the harassment. Film or record the incidences and keep a written log of everything so that you can take it to the police again. Also look for resources in your country. There are links given in the article above.

If you continue the way you are then they have beaten you. Don't let them take your life away.

Question: What do I do if my neighbors keep stealing gas from my car?

Answer: While this is not connected to being stalked or spied on, I would suggest you video them and then take the evidence to the police and file a report.

Question: I'm told by a friend that another friend is watching me constantly. Last Monday, my house was broken into because he knows when I leave and return. How can I prove this?

Answer: 'Friend'? You can only prove it by producing evidence, such as camera footage. Install hidden cameras throughout your house.

Question: Can hearing aids be hacked to allow a stalker to use them as a speaker? A friend’s mother swears she is being stalked by her neighbor through her hearing aids. He tells her he is going to kill her dogs. Is it possible that her hearing aids have been hacked? If so, how can she get proof of the hacking to take to the police?

Answer: I've already answered this question here:

Question: What could you suggest when game cameras have been spotted and tampered with? This has gone on for more than three years. Law enforcement refuses to help. I'm disabled, living on SSI and have no wifi. I need suggestions for a very small camera with a wide viewing range, night vision, waterproof, and easily disguised that would go unnoticed and not put out any light. I've tried game cameras, but they were spotted and tampered with.

Answer: You should contact a specialist security company. They can advise you once they know the location and your specific requirements. Camera technology is moving on all the time. I'm sure there is something out there to suit you.

Question: What should I do if the stalker threatens to kidnap me?

Answer: Record the threats and go to the police with the evidence.

Question: I think that I am being stalked. I don't know what to do! I recently had a break-in in the last month. The guy was and is unknown to me. What can I do?

Answer: Follow the advice given in the article. Read the responses to other readers. You must gather evidence: take photos, etc.

This article might also help. Again read the responses in the questions and comments section:

Question: My ex lives 50 feet from me. I have a feeling he's watching me, and it's possible he's been on my RV. He denies everything. What do I do?

Answer: Change your locks. Move your RV. Obtain photographic evidence by installing spy cameras on and in your vehicle.

Question: How does someone know when they are under surveillance?

Answer: They don't... until something catches their attention. Then they begin to notice odd things. If you read through some of the questions and comments you can see the wide variety of people's experiences.

Question: I have just noticed the man up the street has been watching me and following me to work. What do I do?

Answer: When you know he is following you, turn around and take some photos. He'll stop.

Question: Every week my partner's ex drives past our house. We live in a cul de sac, so there is no reason for her to be here. It's the same time every week, and we have caught it on camera. I suspect she is gathering info for court proceedings. She has also approached the neighbors and asked who comes and goes, and what cars are here. Does this classify as harassment? It's making me very uneasy.

Answer: Make sure she sees you filming her. Go outside when she's driving around and use your phone to film her. Tell your neighbours that you are collecting evidence for the police to prove she is harassing you. It'll soon get back to her and she'll more than likely stop.

Question: I live in an apartment block. In the last two week, a man has been standing at the apartments facing us, staring at my apartment and others. He does this twice from what I noticed: at dusk and when it's dark. He walks around the building and comes back and just watches. My wife is convinced he has some sort of mental health problem and this is his routine. I find it uncomfortable and creepy. What should I do?

Answer: Film and photograph him and make it obvious that you are doing so. That may cause him to cease his behavior. Also report him to the police. He isn't breaking the law but at least you can register your concern.

Question: Why do you only assume only males stalk exes?

Answer: I don't. There has been an edit on my article to add all those 'he's'. I've changed it now. However, the majority of stalkers are male. Or, at least, the higher number of people who report being stalked are female.

Question: How can you track down a stalker?

Answer: You can catch your stalker by being vigilant and collecting evidence. Secure your property and install cameras. Keep your phone in hand and take photos. Follow the guidance given in the article and here:

Question: I discovered a cousin of mine has been cyberstalking me over 10 years. I barely know him. He used website moderator privileges. He laughed when I confronted him. Webmaster ignores my email complaints and also tracks me. I'm rarely on the net. They have all my data. Local police are no help. Filed FBI report and no response. What to do?

Answer: Make sure you run anti-malware and anti-tracking on all your devices. Would be worth investing in the professional version of CCleaner (it's not expensive) and run it every day (I do). Become an expert in keeping your computer and phone secure.

Question: I followed all of your advice and links, but they didn't help. Can you recommend a mini camera that doesn't have WiFi, has a long battery life and is waterproof?

Answer: You should contact a specialist security company. They can advise you once they know your location and your specific requirements. Camera technology is moving on all the time; I'm sure there is something out there to suit you.

Question: What would you do if a person is watching you at the window?

Answer: Looking in, or looking out?

If someone is sitting looking from their own window, they have every right to do that. Some people are housebound and enjoy watching the world go by There's nothing wrong with it.

If someone is looking in your window, then ask them to stop. If they don't, collect photographic evidence and take it to the police. Tell them you are scared.

Question: What can I do about a family member, who is living with us, watching me through my window?

Answer: Take photos. Have your phone with you and when you catch her, take a photo. She'll soon stop. Put slatted blinds up so you can see out, but she can't see in. Make sure it's not happening to other family members.

Question: What do I do if when I am using my cell phone, even playing a game quietly, and my neighbors start banging on the walls? What are my rights?

Answer: Your question is not really about being stalked or spied on. You will have to do some local research regarding your rights as a citizen or tenant. Try speaking to your neighbors and ask them what the problem is. Perhaps use earbuds or headphones.

Question: When we are outside my neighbor's neighbor keeps watching us. We are kids. What do we do?

Answer: Tell a responsible adult about it. Someone you can trust.

Question: I live alone in a bungalow. I need to know how can I stop a pervert climbing my gate to watch me if cctv cameras dont put him off?

Answer: Take your recordings to the police. He's trespassing.

Question: How do I find out who is spying on me once I find the device?

Answer: The device won't reveal who is spying on you. You need to think about your acquaintances, neighbors, colleagues, personal relationships, etc. Why would they want to spy on you? In your home, talk about something made-up... like you are thinking about getting a new dog, or taking a vacation. Be specific. Then see if anyone repeats that information back to you.

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