I'm Being Watched—How to Deal With Stalkers and Spies

Updated on September 26, 2019
theraggededge profile image

A long time ago, I had a stalker. He still pops up now and then. I like to think I can help others in the same situation.

How to find out if someone is watching you, and what to do about it if they are.
How to find out if someone is watching you, and what to do about it if they are.

Who Is Watching Me?

Have you got an odd feeling that somebody is watching you? You may see a fleeting movement out of the corner of your eye or hear strange noises when the house is quiet. You wonder if your home is under surveillance, so search the internet: "somebody is watching me.” The results are not helpful... mostly useless links to song lyrics. Nothing seems to reflect exactly how you feel: alone, vulnerable, angry, scared, and violated.

What's the difference between spying, stalking, and surveilling?

A spy is anyone who observes you secretly. A stalker is someone who spies on you repeatedly, for their own psychological or emotional reasons, with motives that are akin to harassment and intimidation. But surveillance is simply a close observation of a person who's under suspicion. So while a spy's motives might be unclear, a stalker's motives are twisted, selfish, and personal. If you are under surveillance, on the other hand, you are being watched because someone is trying to figure out if you've done something wrong. Surveillance is less personal and more purposeful.

Spying or stalking might be done by a jealous ex boyfriend, a nosy neighbor, or an obsessed acquaintance, while surveillance might be performed by a company, a private investigator, or the government.

Below, you'll find different instructions to fit each different scenario of being watched.

What If You Really Are Being Watched?

If you feel sure that you are being spied on, the first thing to do is trust your instincts. Next, there are several things you can do to determine and prove that it is happening. Don’t think it will go away, because it won’t. It's extremely important to take your suspicions seriously. Put yourself into a position of power and take action.

What to Do If You Suspect You Are Being Spied On:

  1. Determine who your stalker is and why they are spying on you, if you can. Below, you'll find a long list of possible offenders and motives.
  2. Look for and collect proof of their spying. Scroll down for details about where and how to look for evidence.
  3. Learn how to prevent and/or prosecute the person who's stalking you. You have many options, and each is described in full below.

Find Out Who Your Stalker Is

Sit down and brainstorm a list of possible suspects. In the majority of cases, the person watching you will be known to you—a personal stalker. The following is a list of possibilities to help jog your memory and generate a long list of all the potential culprits.

Types of Personal Stalkers

  • The most common stalker is an ex or current partner or someone who feels rejected. People who display signs of jealousy or feel rejected are number one on the list of possible watchers. However, this type of stalker wants you to know that it’s them. Their ego demands that you recognize their ‘devotion.’ They are convinced that you need to learn the truth, that deep down you are completely in love with them and just need to be shown the error in your thinking. This behavior is a sign of mental illness. You won’t be able to convince them of this, so you need to contact someone who might be able to help. In every case, report them to the police.
  • Another kind of personal stalker is someone whom you may have upset or angered in the past. Even inadvertently. Consider the people in your neighborhood, at work, at businesses and spots you frequent. This type is less likely to advertise their identity; they just want to make you suffer in their desire for revenge.
  • Neighbors are also quite common among stalkers. After all, the closer people live, the more opportunity there is to both rile the emotions and maintain constant surveillance. You may have caught their attention or incurred their wrath in some way and now, the boundary between you and them is being breached.
  • Then there are the randoms: Someone who has taken a fancy to you, someone who you may have exchanged a few words with and gone merrily on your way, leaving them thinking that your interaction meant far more than it actually did. These are the obsessives.
  • The last variety is the predatory stalker. These are the ones who care nothing for you as a human being, they just want to own you—even for just a few minutes. These people, thank goodness, are very rare. Nevertheless, every sensible person, male or female, should take reasonable precautions when out alone. Rape alarms, pepper sprays, and a noisy dog are all good methods of protection. Better still is to have some basic knowledge, and practice, of self-defense skills.

What do stalkers have in common?

Whatever category your stalker comes under, they all share some commonalities:

  • They are convinced that they are in the right, that they deserve to watch you or that you belong to them in some way.
  • They have no idea—or don’t care—what effect their behavior has on you.
  • They are able to rationalize their actions to any degree. In fact, they don’t think they are doing anything wrong or out of the ordinary.

Over 85% of Victims Are Stalked by Someone They Know

Is Your Ex Is Stalking You?

The following are examples of stalker-like behavior:

  • They show up wherever you are, unexpectedly and uninvited.
  • They monitor you on social media.
  • They keep finding ways to contact you, even after you've changed your numbers and accounts.
  • They keep tabs on you via shared contacts.
  • They enter your house, even when they don't have a key.
  • They send gifts even after you've tried to end the relationship.
  • They install spyware on your devices or keep track of you via GPS.
  • They seem to be keeping tabs on, and collecting information about, you.
  • They spread rumors or post personal information about you.
  • They refuse to leave you alone.
  • They don't take "no" for an answer and pursues a relationship with you any way they can.

Signs Your Neighbor Is Spying On You

  • They know things about you that they shouldn’t know.
  • You suspect that they are listening via some sort of device.
  • Your mail is being tampered or interfered with.
  • They have entered your home or property while you were out.
  • They stalk you on social media.

For more information, read My Neighbors Are Spying On Me: What Can I Do?

How to catch a stalker and protect yourself.
How to catch a stalker and protect yourself.

How to Get Rid of a Personal Stalker

Step #1 - Collect Evidence

Keep a written record of every single incident, however trivial, with dates and times. Take photos, recordings, and screenshots, if needed. Keep track of any witnesses (with names and contact information). Keep backed-up electronic records, too—remember that your phone or computer may be compromised, so have a second device that no one knows about. For information about how to check your house and car for spy devices, read How to Find Spy Devices in Your Home, Car, Cell Phone, or Computer.

Step #2 - Reset Phones, Computers, Passwords, and Social Media

  • If your stalker might ever have had had access to your devices, they could have installed spyware or GPS tracking devices without your knowledge, so the smartest thing to do is get new ones.
  • Even if you don't think they've installed spyware, reset your devices to factory settings and choose new passwords for all sites you frequent, including banks, social media, entertainment sites, and online shopping. This may only be a temporary solution, but do it anyway.
  • If the stalking was online, then deactivate your social media accounts. Try setting new ones up under a different name and share your profiles with trusted friends one at a time, over a period of weeks. At the very least, check all your privacy settings and make sure you're not sharing with the public.
  • Don’t post your life on social media. People can pick up all sorts of clues about you, your routine, places you go, etc. Keep posts general.

Step #3 - Report the Stalker

As soon as you have one or two pieces of evidence, go to the police and register a complaint. These days, they seem to be taking stalking and harassment more seriously than in previous years. Even if they can’t act because there is not sufficient evidence, there will be a record of your complaint so any officer you speak to subsequently will be able to look up the case record. Don’t be worried that the police will get fed up by your complaints. Keep them updated at all times.

Step #4 - If You Know Your Stalker, Employ the Gray Rock Method

If the stalker is known to you and regularly tries to make contact, use the Gray Rock Method. This term was coined by the victim of a psychopath stalker who learned how to deal with him. It is a useful technique when you have to speak to your stalker because you have some common interest, such as a child together.

The Gray Rock Method:

  • Respond only when you have to.
  • Keep your responses as short, boring, and monotonous as possible.
  • Add no inflection to your voice, use bland vocabulary, and display no emotion.
  • Only give essential facts in order to conclude the interaction.

This method works well if the stalker shows psychopathic or sociopath tendencies. They thrive on drama so don’t give them what they want. Eventually, their behavior will change as they lose interest in you. Gray Rock can enable you to become invisible to that person, and any other who shows an unwanted interest in you. By making yourself as boring as possible, they will soon look for more interesting prey.

About 1 in 5 Victims Are Stalked by a Stranger

Is Stalking or Spying On Someone a Crime?

Stalking is usually an accumulation of several legal acts which, when combined, become a crime. For example, sending emails is not a crime, watching someone's house is not a crime, and following them is not a crime, but when the motive is sociopathic, when larger patterns of intent are established, if probable cause can be established, and if the recipient of these actions starts getting scared, then innocent acts turn into stalking.

Stalking is usually perpetrated by men on women. It's usually a man who feels rejected by a woman whom he believes owes him something. He thinks he is entitled to her attention and if he doesn't get it, he takes matters into his own hands and forces intimacy any way he can.

However, women can be stalkers too. And their vengeance knows no bounds; they will sometimes extend their harassment to their ex's new partner.

Is stalking illegal?

Stalking is illegal, but it requires sufficient proof. To prove it's happening, you must be able to clearly prove a pattern of behavior, that threats were made (implicitly or explicitly), and that there was criminal intent to cause fear. With proof, you can get the court to issue a protective or restraining order.

Most stalkers stop their creepy behavior if they are confronted by police, but if they don't stop, then it becomes a criminal matter. This is why it's important to involve the police.

Since anti-stalking laws and legislation vary from state to state, check out this Stalking Resource Center to find out about your state's policies.

Is it legal for an owner to install cameras to spy on me in an AirBnB?

No, it's not legal, but it's done all the time. To read more (and find out what to do about it), read How to Check Your Airbnb Rental for Spy Cameras.

How to Catch a Stalker by Collecting Evidence

It is not recommended that you confront your stalker yourself. Instead, do what you can to collect evidence so the police can help you.

  • Keep a log describing every single incident, however small, including dates and times.
  • Take photos, video, and audio recordings, if needed. Have hidden security cameras mounted around your property. You can buy many relatively inexpensive counter-surveillance devices online.
  • Keep track of any witnesses (with names and contact information).
  • Keep all emails, texts, letters, voicemail, and records and screenshots of any other electronic communications. Even if they are sent anonymously, each email contains IP information which can help investigators find your stalker, don't delete them.
  • Write down the details and license plate numbers of any suspicious vehicles.
  • Hire an investigator or PI to watch and collect evidence against your suspected stalker.

Traps for Stalkers

Again, it is not recommended that you physically trap, confront, or even interact with your stalker.

  • On the other hand, by using a device like this Anti Spy Signal Detector, you can discover a hidden microphone transmitter or video camera in your home.
  • Hidden cameras placed strategically might be helpful, too. If you can't afford cameras, you might be able to rent the equipment.
  • If you don't feel equipped to do your own counter-surveillance, hiring an investigator or PI who has access to all the latest gadgets and tech to watch and collect evidence for you can help build your case.

Why Would Someone Be Under Surveillance?

  • If you are a witness to a crime or involved in any legal proceeding.
  • If you are filing for divorce or suing for custody of your children.
  • If you owe money.
  • If you have filed for disability or bankruptcy.
  • You work for a company that is being spied on by a competitor.
  • If your work makes you interesting in some way (if outsiders might be looking to capitalize on your knowledge or take your company to court for any reason).
  • You engage in criminal activity.
  • You have knowledge that could damage reputations or projects.
  • You are involved in a legal case and the other side may be seeking to build up evidence to discredit you.
  • If some individual has taken an unhealthy interest in you.
  • If you are close with another person who fits any of the descriptions above.
  • The government is tracking you. This is a given. Most governments now collect metadata on everyone. In the UK, CCTV tracks your every move if you live in a city.
  • You have a mobile device, a tablet, or a cell phone. Your apps, browsers, and devices are tracking you, your surfing habits, your social media posting—everything. If you take a photo, GPS data is transmitted to reveal your location. The only way to prevent this is to remove the battery.

Are You Under Surveillance?

If you suspect you are under surveillance by some sort of organization or even if an individual is watching you, read: How to Find Spy Devices in Your Home and take the steps outlined therein to find out if your home has been bugged. Remember that these days most bugging takes place via an electronic device. It couldn’t be easier for someone to install an invisible app on your phone, or hack into your laptop’s camera or microphone. They can even be installed remotely.

How to find out if you're under surveillance, and what to do if you are.
How to find out if you're under surveillance, and what to do if you are.

Signs That You Are Under Surveillance

  • Vans parked outside your home. Often, they appear like innocuous domestic-type business such as plumbing, heating, building, that sort of thing. Unless you can see actual work being carried out at a neighbor’s home, then be suspicious.
  • Unusual activity, strangers in the neighborhood, a change in the usual routine are usually nothing to worry about. However, you can sometimes feel in your gut that things are ‘off.’ So keep your antennae alert for anything out of the ordinary. However, the very nature of these methods mean that the operatives who carry them out are so skilled that 99 out of 100 people will never know that they are being watched.
  • Strange noises on your house or cell phone and a sudden, fast battery drainage are signs that someone might have installed spy cameras without your knowledge or accessed your devices remotely.
  • You notice drones overhead. The ease of use and fast advancing technology makes spying-by-drone commonplace.

How to Prevent Surveillance

In short, you can’t. Unless you can prove that the surveillance is illegal, threatening, harassing or damaging, if you want to live in general society, you have to accept that your information and behavior is monitored by many agencies.

Alternatively, you can change your lifestyle, move to a location where you can live off-grid or become a nomad.

Am I Being Followed by the Government?

Yes, the government is tracking you. They are tracking everyone. Most governments have become quite adept at collecting metadata on everyone. In the UK, CCTV tracks your every move if you live in a city.

Who Else Is Surveilling Me?

Data brokers, social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, websites you visit, apps you use, search engines and browsers, advertisers, and many others have reasons to collect information about you.

Being Watched: It Might be Your Imagination

It starts with a minor incident, such as a trash bin being knocked over late at night, then perhaps the sound of a squirrel in the roof. Your fertile imagination builds on it and attributes every sound, unexpected beep on your phone and passing footsteps to your ‘somebody is watching me’ fear. The fear becomes a phobia.

Although spying does happen, nine times out of ten it is nothing more than a feeling. Many people experience it. Severe cases are called “The Truman Show Delusion” after the movie where Jim Carey’s character realizes that his whole life is just a TV show being broadcast to millions and he is the only one who's unaware that he is the main character.

But for most of us, the spying is all in our heads. If you can be objective enough to realize that your fears are unsubstantiated, but they persist nevertheless, then a course of counseling, a visit to a psychotherapist or even an honest chat with a trusted friend can set your mind at ease.

Have You Been Watched?

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Questions & Answers

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    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      4 weeks ago from Wales, UK

      To Jaye, report him to your employer. Make a formal written complaint detailing everything you have said in your comment. Having said that, unless he has assaulted you, made threats, or made direct, unwanted sexual comments, there isn't a lot anyone can do. It's all a bit vague - him looking at you and you just seeing his car is no evidence that he is stalking you. It simply sounds like he is attracted to you. Personally, I would ignore him completely.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      6 weeks ago from Wales, UK

      Hi Margaret

      Sounds like you are already doing the right thing. And well done for your quick thinking and not leading him to your home.

      I would also suggest taking your phone and pointing the camera right at him. Photograph and video him. That might be enough to send him on his way.

      It sounds like he's lonely and has latched on to you because he has mistaken a friendly, casual chat for interest on your part.

      Let us know what happens.

    • profile image

      Margaret 

      6 weeks ago

      Local man late 50's medium build seemed friendly. I was at a bus stop, he spoke to me, the bus came, I never thought anymore about it. Unfortunately, I was on the bus the next day and he got off at the same bus stop as myself. I live off the main road, I could feel someone behind me, I turned round quickly and this man hid, I walked on, turned round again quickly and he hid again. I stopped to make sure he had seen him.I walked away from my home and sat on a bench for at least half an hour.

      The next day he again got off at my bus stop, I told a woman about him, We stood at bus stop he was across the road waiting for me. I phoned local police, and met the police man in our small town, he advised menot to speak to him. The police said if he kept this up, I was to have my mobile ready and phone them, he is breaking the law by harassing me.

      Living in a small town after a while you observe these odd people.

      What can I do

    • profile image

      Lisa Jayne Barrett 

      2 months ago

      My friend managed to get a life long restraining order against someone who thought they had the right to watch her every move and spy on her then justify it by saying they were making sure she was "alright" and "safe" despite being a fully grown adult able to make her own decisions.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      2 months ago from Wales, UK

      Joan, you need to keep a detailed log of every incident. Take photos of her recording and following you. Then when you have plenty of proof, go back to the police.

      However, if she is simply filming from her own property, there is not much the police will do. She's perfectly entitled to do that. She's also entitled to walk down the street.

      She is not controlling your life... you get to decide whether to let her behavior affect what you do and where you go. She's not going to hurt you, so do your best to ignore her - she'll soon get bored.

    • profile image

      joan lucyshyn 

      2 months ago

      Someone has been watching my house for the last six weeks with a camcorder she puts a shadow on next door neighbors house. Me and my brother see it and we know who it is. It is creepy cause she stands right in her window you see her. Plus I get followed where I go and other neighbor to. I do have proof of this . what else can we do I tried to file a complaint with the police. This is getting out of control someone cant keep controlling someone esles life like this. It is very scarey and creepy making me and my brother sick and we know this person but haven't had no contact in thirty years until we moved we didn't know she lived there. This has to stop caus eit is destroying my life and my brothers. We kinda know the reson to. but gives her no business. I cant be in a house someone is watching.

    • profile image

      Watergurl 

      2 months ago

      Ozzie

      I want to answer you the best way that i can. Of note, this is not my account, as I do not have one. I will say this. Live and love life, embrace it, b/c this is it. Don't ever give up. As long as you have breath in your body, there's always a chance. Life is a precious gift from God. We all have trials that we go through, some more difficult than others. It's to make you stronger. No one ever said that life would be easy. I love life and so should you and anyone else. I'm so sorry for your plight. I get it, and i hope it gets better for you and your daughter. Read books about the struggles of others, and how they suffered various situations in life. It will give you a certain appreciation regarding life. Giving up is not an option.

    • profile image

      Ozzie 

      2 months ago

      Watergurl everything you said and described sounds exactly like my life right now. I'm a single mother with a teenage daughter as well. My life has been turned up side down. I moved thinking that would help, not at all.I have found jammers in my home as well,and in some cases could not use my phone when I felt threatened. It's absolutly the most difficult thing I have been through. I stay home, I dont even talk to or with friends because i know i sound crazy.When my daughter came home from college in the summer I wanted her to see some of the things I had tried to explain to her. Of course she would always listen ,but from the look on her face she really didn't believe me. A few weeks went by and she began to see or hear strange things. Soon to follow was mom I think you are right. My icloud, my google account, my apple id, google maps,facebook, my lab top, my computer, my phone, all hacked and monitered.. I couldn't even retrieve my own icloud photos. I have had horible thoughts of ending my life, just for peace... no one understands everyone thinks your crazy... I found my photos on nasty websites, I've had strange men follow me... I have had Trucks Vans parked down the road or closer to my house...

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      2 months ago from Wales, UK

      Hi there, 508. Your other comment is too long to post, I'm afraid. It sounds to me like you need to have your computer professionally scanned for viruses and malware. Take it to a specialist and ask them to clean it for you.

      And yes, always keep your camera covered :)

    • profile image

      508-99 

      2 months ago

      So, this is the first instance where I've had my phone out and had the forethought to shoot a picture. I'm absolutely positive that there will be many more similar "attacks" (whatever you want to call them) and I will always always have my phone out and ready to take photographs!

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      3 months ago from Wales, UK

      DDDD, I can only point you in the direction of another article: https://turbofuture.com/consumer-electronics/How-t...

      Otherwise, you will need to get a specialized security company or individual to scan your home.

      Don't forget, you can pick up network devices from other properties, so ask your neighbors if it belongs to them.

    • profile image

      DDDD 

      3 months ago

      Hi, I'm being stalked with a -Hai IP camera- but I can't find it. I know they are doing it because I found the cam active on a network. The situation is more dire than you think so I would appreciate some help.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      3 months ago from Wales, UK

      Okay, Watergurl, I didn't know who you were. I have no idea why my name appeared where yours should have. Not to worry.

    • profile image

      Watergurl 

      3 months ago

      I did not try to use your name. I was sending you a message. I told you that strange things are happening to me that i have absolutely no control over. Sometimes text is added that I did not write on my messages to people. Im so sorry that happened. That's all I can say.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      3 months ago from Wales, UK

      Why have you used my name? That's plain creepy. You are allowed to post anonymously.

      Some messages don't through because they are filtered by an algorithm.

      This article maybe of more use: https://turbofuture.com/consumer-electronics/How-t...

    • profile image

      Bev G 

      3 months ago

      I sent u smth a few days ago, in which i was looking forward to a response, but it seems to have never made it to you. Idk what to do, as ive had my suspicions about my email being intercepted since i only receive a response from unimportant email. Hum, this stalking thing that's going on in my life is very serious. Sadly, my stalkers are very virulent, and keeps escalatin, b/c law enforcement is helping this to continue. I live my life obeying tbe law, but somehow have ppl in high positions invading my life. My whole life has been hacked, and all the doors I try to open to get this investigated are shut. So, i keep living.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      3 months ago from Wales, UK

      Hi Patricia, yes you can talk about it, and you should. Report him repeatedly. Go to the police and tell them you fear for your life.

      Move home, if you can.

    • profile image

      Patricia Hutchens 

      3 months ago

      For 4 years I have been terrorized by a neighbor next to me in a condo. You can’t talk about this because it’s either your fault for going out with him and then turning him down. No one deserves a man to bang on your wall and keep you awake for days. That’s dangerous right there. Say things like I know everything about you. Pull out a switchblade to scare you. Moved and I recorded many out of the norm banging still every night and have them recorded. My punishment is no sleep still. I know he has devices that record a cameras it’s hard to prove that. Police report done I want my life back. Banging ongoing every night and I record. He will not man up now and be seen

      And keeps in touch with same contacts. Help

    • profile image

      billy 

      3 months ago

      Watergurl, I'm living something almost the same as you. Is it possible to talk to you? I would have a one only question for you.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      4 months ago from Wales, UK

      To Lainey,

      Really sorry, but your comment was far too long to get through. If you'd like to submit a shorter one, you'd be very welcome.

    • profile image

      Watergurl 

      5 months ago

      Being a victim of stalking for no apparent reason leads to bitterness and bad thoughts abt the ones stalking you. These mass stalkers are individuals with serious mental issues who do everything they can to make it seem like you are the crazy one. It's hard trying to prove you are the victim that's having weird things happen to you. The stalkers have it all figured out. In my case, it involves individuals that are U.S.vetersns who drive around with personalized plates, and others who are quite bold. Ive noticed nice Jags and Saabs (vehicles) followingme around over and over. I myself have stalkers that live openly, and are not afraid of being caught because of their standing in the community. They are protected. They are police chiefs, doctors and lawyers who are sexual predators involved in money laundering, and other underworld, illegal activities. They are practicing sex traffickers. I moved again recently, only to find my carpet has been cut to install electronic spying equipment to spy on me and my teenaged daughter. These stalkers know our every movement. They even hire children to take photos. I've seen this. A lot of the things in my apt have been traded out for items i would never buy, like a tiny pot, or clothes that are too short or too small for me. I've tried to tell ppl who do not believe that there are sick individuals out here who do illegal activities for sport. Never second guess what is happening to your life. It is not your imagination. There are people that know the truth, but would be thrown in jail. And, also, God knows the truth, but, like slavery snd the Holocaust, who knows why horrible things happen to decent people. It sure doesn't feel good, but what do you do when law enforcement is dirty, and you don't have a lot of money to hire a team who can stop this risky, life endangering nightmare. Jail time is too good for someone who exhibits this type of behavior. I live my life, b/c no low life scum is going to get the satisfaction of me not having a life. I love life too much!!

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      5 months ago from Wales, UK

      I think you are right, SGFR. Consider changing your phone number. If that doesn't stop it, have your phone reset to factory settings. Check your Facebook settings carefully; also any other social media accounts that you have. This person may be accessing as a friend-of-a-friend.

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 

      5 months ago

      I have a coworker who has been spying on me on my smartphone for several months. I told my boss and family and they said I imagined it. the person repeated word for word a post I had on facebook that was only for friends to see, and they were not a facebook friend. and routinely they have made comments about many of my personal text messages on messenger. I have no proof. but I ended up getting rid of my smartphone for a flip phone and it stopped, mostly.

      then my other coworkers kept suggesting I get a new smartphone. I did not. I used my smartphone only at home for the past week, with wifi, for convenience and it started again. so I stopped.

      I am disturbed and upset by this.

      I can only use my internet at home.

      I don't know what else to do, but forgive and move on. Less technology is better- I think it's healthier.

    • profile image

      Whocares 

      5 months ago

      Seems more detrimental/harming to my calmness than trying to do the opposite (trying to make me feel safe/calm) Was this written by an american? Its ALL just stalking/terrorising to me....its cruel! whether legal or illegal

    • profile image

      Watergurl 

      6 months ago

      Thanks Bev G for remembering me and not judging me. This is the only site where i can vent about my life. You gave me some good advice of what not to do. I have an aggressive personality. I've gone up ro some of the perps, and all they do is laugh when i ask them why. It's just a game to them. I do react to their actions, and I guess that is feeding in to their mental illness. That's a really good point not to acknowledge them or what they are doing, as the whole situation has grown. Again, thank you for keeping your blog going!

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      6 months ago from Wales, UK

      Hi Watergurl, I remember you from last year. So sorry to hear this torture continues.

      I suggest documenting every incident on a blog. Include your photos, if possible. You said they are tracking your internet activity, so make sure you write your blog as if they are nothing more than annoying mosquitoes. Just laugh at their antics, call them childish. Don't rant or get angry because then they are achieving their objective.

      Good luck.

    • profile image

      Watergurl 

      6 months ago

      I just want to put this out there, as CVive been a victim for over 6 years. It's basically informative. Yes, your television is a method of keeping tabs on you. They broke mine. Also, each time i leave my home one of the tiny buttons is broken or removed. My television has been disabled, and so has my remote ctrl. My home is entered each time my child and i leave home. Zippers on my clothing have been cut off. All my clothing and linen have been snagged. My bed and other furniture have been broken. The frame on my brand new sofa was broken. The pillows on my sofa were replaced w/similar pillows. Our shower curtain is ripped daily. One of the leaders who started this habitual stalking owns security companies that follow me everywhere. My home has been infiltrated with technology w/o my permission. My food is tampered with or taken, or replaced w/rotten food, or poison. Ive gotten sick from eating or drinking certain food or drinks.

      These stalkers take what they want from my home. No one understands unless they've been victimized. They try to run into me daily. They tailgate me. My car is damaged regularly. My grocery bags are ripped open and tampered with. My car has been soaped from the inside. Oil is placed on my armrest in a circle. I've seen ppl/strangers. running from my car. I been to the local police and FBI. I can sometimes see someone or else moving on my cell phone. I've mailed letters tat never reached their destination. I've been surrounded by a motorcycle gang. Ppl get paid to do this. Also, law enforcement protects these sexual predators involved in sex trafficking. It runs deep. Veterans and others are involved. Start taking pictures of the stalkers. You will be surprised at what you find. This is a sport for some of the wealthy perpetrators involved. They will try and make you look like a liar or delusional, even when you can verify what you've seen. They use technology help them. I've seen them on tablets, walking around a store or other like they work there. I believe it's a sport to these predators. They connect w/ each other on the dark web. I know this because I watch too. Ive said enough. Im tired of being violated. Never, ever trust law enforcement, b/c the ones whom you think will help you are the ones making sure the stalking never ends. They police and detectives protect the criminals. Vets, firefighters, and city employees are also involved. I've seen my picture on a perp's cell phone. One even had a picture of my car and where it was parked at a doctor's appointment. I leaned over the stalker's shoulder where he was sitting, waiting for my appointment to end. These individuals are criminally insane. Turn it around by journaling, and taking their pictures. Don't be afraid. Oh, they will also shadow you on the internet. Of note, if this matters, I'm a Christian and thought I was exempt from smthg like this, wrong. Oh, never give up. Oh, and when you try and share, people, even family will not understand the truth. They might ask "why you." I say b/c some ppl are sick and act normal. Look at the world around you. Some people are criminally insane. I never even thought of doing the unspeakable things that have happened to me to another person.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      6 months ago from Wales, UK

      If you have a smart TV it can be hacked. Most have built-in microphones.

      https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/security/your-smart-t...

    • profile image

      rather not say 

      6 months ago

      can people spy on me threw my tv. I know and can't prove it. I can't figure out the device they are using to do this with. any ideas? i would like to know the device

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      7 months ago from Wales, UK

      You need another IT expert to help you get this resolved, Tony.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      7 months ago from Wales, UK

      That's weird, Gadfly. Can you contact Linkedin directly? Explain the situation.

    • profile image

      Tony 

      7 months ago

      Since i last commented, he has hacked 3 of my phones and just learned he hacked my new laptop,and my Router..

      I am dealing with red tape when it comes to the legal system.

      He is an IT expert and that does not help the situation.

    • profile image

      Gadfly 

      8 months ago from Olde London Towne

      Unbeknown to me. my profile has been submitted to the app 'Linkedin' without my permission. Unable to access it as i do not have a password. It is being checked on a weekly basis.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      9 months ago from Wales, UK

      It must be, Tony.

    • profile image

      Tony 

      9 months ago

      I am a man being cyber stalked by ex roommate who is a man.

      Unsettling AF.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      10 months ago from Wales, UK

      Yes, I read that. It seems news presenters are quite frequently targeted.

    • limpet profile image

      Ian Stuart Robertson 

      10 months ago from London England

      Serial nuisance gets two and a half year sentence for pestering a B.B.C. presenter with threatening mail.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      10 months ago from Wales, UK

      Maybe your girlfriend was on the phone? If you don't trust her, why is she still your girlfriend?

    • profile image

      Cain 

      10 months ago

      Ibam being told i am crazy n which im to the point i am about to lose my mind over these things going on. But i have a security camera n my house and several times i have had audio footage come back of my gf coming into the room and entering the closet talking to someone who i have never seen but u can clearly hear her and the "others" talking. I have tore the place apart looking but she always seems to be one step ahead of me. And ever simce she got a domestic on me for no reason its as if people from our road r watching me. I have red handed caught one folowing me with his lights out twice

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      11 months ago from Wales, UK

      Cesar, I haven't approved your comment as there are too many identifying personal details. You are welcome to leave another one, but leave the ID/address off.

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      11 months ago from U.S.A.

      Hello, theraggededge,

      Following some of your very insightful advice, I don't keep a high internet profile, avoiding creating my own website and visiting very infrequently Facebook or any social media account. So far, this has reduced any problems with stalkers or vengeful individuals.

      Using a website where the focus is creativity, such as Hub Pages, for many of my interactions adds another layer of protection from those who may have less than genuine motives.

      Taking a few preventive measures can be the cure.

      Thanks again.

      May you have peace during this holiday season.

      Sincerely,

      Tim

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      11 months ago from Wales, UK

      You're an angel, Tim. xx

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      11 months ago from U.S.A.

      Of course, I would not have any objections. I've read enough of your posts and articles to know you are a sincere soul who believes in offering help to others.

      I am honored, my HP colleague.

      Much respect,

      Sincerely,

      Tim

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      11 months ago from Wales, UK

      This is great, Tim. Would you have any objection to me including some of this in the main article? With credit, of course. If you have a website, I'd be happy to add a link.

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      11 months ago from U.S.A.

      It's important to note that in this world where there are many technological devices, such as pumps at the petrol station that suddenly starts talking while you are pumping gas, we may suspect something that may not be happening at all. This world is becoming more and more crowded, and we may encounter a substantial number of people on any given day. Therefore we should carefully assess whether or not we are acting paranoid. I was just suggesting that variable should be looked at carefully in determining whether or not something is happening.

      Are you taking medications which may impact your perception of reality?

      Do you have family members who had similar experiences?

      Is it ongoing or during certain times of the day or night?

      Has this happened at other points in your life?

      Has your life been relatively quiet until now or have you had disagreements with various people?

      Do you live in an area notorious for criminal activity?

      Are you currently involved with people who are conducting illegal activities even though you are not?

      Are you or your friends, relatives, or other individuals fairly wealthy?

      Do you frequent bars, pubs, clubs, or other places where people gather to party and/or celebrate?

      Are you seeing or have gathered evidence of stalking? Are you hearing voices? Have you been approached?

      This is not discounting in any way the real probability that a person is being monitored without their consent, these are just factors to scrutinize in determining whether a person may be stalked. These are some of the questions the police and a therapist would consider. Examining these variables can help a person decide whether or not imagination is playing a role in the perception of being stalked.

      I hope this helped, Bev G.

      Thanks.

      Much respect and may your holidays be peaceful and rewarding,

      Sincerely,

      Tim

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      11 months ago from Wales, UK

      Thanks for your comment, Tim. Could you elaborate a little about the psychological aspect? It might be useful for other readers.

      Thanks again.

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      11 months ago from U.S.A.

      Hi, Bev G.,

      Great article with useful advice. People do stalk, but people should be careful of their own psychological stability. I've had to help clients who were stalked, and assisted the police on occasion.

      This was a very helpful article, hitting upon the important things for people to consider.

      .

      Much respect,

      Tim

    • profile image

      Watergurl 

      11 months ago

      No one knows the mind of a stalker. Unless you have experienced stalking, you/anyone cannot say what a person is going through. I'm a sane, single black American female who is being stalked by lots of people. One would think I'm a star. Strangers act like they're my best friend, ready to wait until i get out of my vehicle to open doors for me, male and female. These creeps are usually sitting in the parking lot everwhere i go. These individuals know all the doctor's offices that I frequent, grocery stores and more. The individual will be waiting for me to arrive. Some go in with me and shadow me. Some even buy the same groceries as me. My phone and home are compromised. They've even made themselves a guest on my cell phone. Police you say? Well, who are they, as they've made sexual innuendos towards me. So, I suffer in silence. People do not believe this heinous behavior/crime exists. My home and vehicle are entered anytime the stalkers want. Clothes and other items have been taken or destroyed. They wish to make me the victim to be diminished in character. Never say someone is crazy unless you are walking in their shoes. Plus, they're protected because they're also sexual predators.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      11 months ago from Wales, UK

      @Wolf3D Your situation is beyond the scope of this article and my expertize. It's a domestic problem and you need to get help from the relevant people. There may be charitable organizations in your area that can advise you.

      As far as proving that your family are spying on you, there are many suggestions offered here: https://turbofuture.com/consumer-electronics/How-t...

    • profile image

      Wolf3D 

      11 months ago

      I know my girlfriend and father whom I live with share what everything about my life to their friends and so on. I dont know how they are doing it though? everything I speak of or share through my progress to recover from traumatic issues seems to be used against me in a mockery sense. Everyone accuses me of drug usage, when I dont use drugs outside of the pain killers i sustained via concussions and car collision few years ago that never was taking care of. I have continued to educate myself according to my interests since I had to quit school for helping my father who's retired vet. however he and my girlfriend who live together with me, have experienced domestic violence against me and when authorities came, they took them not me. Now I feel they constantly antagonize me for becoming a homebody. Ive found plenty of guilty moments when confronting neighbors randomly and responding to things they thought were undetected. They've treated me like I was autistic, dementia, Asperger, drug user, sociopath, psychopath just because I was vulnerable and thought I could share anxiety panics during a really tough time. Its been 3 years and its to the point where Im on my own and no one likes me. new neighbors moved next door and after hanging out a few times, now they shit talk from their yard knowing im outside. Heres the kicker though, how do they are sync their remarks according to things i speak in my own home? i know their a link between my dad, girlfriend and close friends, but sometimes it seems impossible and it causes more and more issues. Theyre gaslighting me, and trying to drive me insane, and I wish they would grow up. how can I produce unquestionable evidence of their conspiring acts and shut them up once and for all? It seems paranoid but I kid you not, its like they facebook everyone I speak to and share the gossip like Im some animal on display at the zoo. Please help me close this chapter in my life!

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      12 months ago from Wales, UK

      This seems to be a common situation, Nobady. Do a bug sweep, if you can. Collect evidence if possible. As a last resort, go to the police.

      If you can't prove anything, then you have to make a decision: accept the situation or move.

    • profile image

      Nobady 

      12 months ago

      People takeover the 3th floor apartment and I'm in 2th floor wherever i go in my apartment someone follow me for example if i go to my bedroom he or she will follow me or anywhere in apartment i dont know what to do.?

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      12 months ago from Wales, UK

      Tyasha, he's a psychopath and you have to dump him. There is a way and that is to become a 'gray rock'. The technique means you make yourself so boring that he loses interest in you.

      Read this: https://180rule.com/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealin...

      Also Google 'Gray rock method' to find out more.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      13 months ago from Wales, UK

      We had this in one of our bedrooms and then discovered that it was to do with the air con at a neighboring grocery store and also the extractor whizzing around on another nearby property.

      Once we knew what was causing the weird rumbling and whining sounds, they are now easily ignored.

      Unless there is a speaker device planted in your home, there's no way the sound could 'jump' from its source into your bedroom. My advice is to go outside in the dead of night when all is still and see if you can track the sounds.

    • profile image

      Elise Sabatier 

      13 months ago

      Can you tell me how a vengeful neighbor might be causing sleep deprivation by projecting noises into my room during the night. Witnesses who have been at my house reported this, and I have provided the police with recordings of these noises accompanied by my snoring. I've had an electronic sweep done, but it seems a more sophisticated means is used. Can you tell me how it is done? I've read online that other victims of harassment experience same.

    • profile image

      Watergurl 

      16 months ago

      Thank you so much Bev G!! I appreciate ur comments.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      16 months ago from Wales, UK

      Hi Watergurl, I can't be completely 100% certain because I am in the UK, but I am pretty sure you can file a complaint against the police. You must have proof though.

      Know your rights. Research your rights as a civilian. Knowing them gives you strength.

      Collect proof. Can't say it often enough. You must have video, photographic, or audio evidence. Install spy cameras and make sure they are monitored by an unregistered device. Keep copies of everything and leave the copies with a trusted friend.

      Have your home and car swept for bugs. Anti-bugging devices are cheap these days.

      Get your phone cleaned by a professional. Have it reset to factory settings. Better still get a cheap burner and use that for personal calls.

      Get some advice from an attorney. You will need to have proof to show them. Check out whether any are willing to take on a pro-bono case if money is short.

      Good luck.

    • profile image

      Watergurl 

      16 months ago

      I need some insight on this topic b/c I and my teenaged daughter are victims, and it’s quite serious. This is no game b/c the ppl doing it are serious criminals. This just part of our dilemma, it’s law enforcement and other ppl in service positions that are doing it. Our home and vehicle are broken into repeatedly. My phone, internet, home, and car are monitored. It’s a real problem. What’s going on w/ya can’t be made up. This is a severe case of stalking b/c these ppl are criminally insane. It’s just strange why anyone would do such heinous crimes to strangers. We were targeted by a former neighbor. I’ve tried lots of help resources, but the struggle is real b/c I’m a single black female mom. Any suggestions would be nice.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      17 months ago from Wales, UK

      Block the area code to prevent getting any more calls from that area. Contact your telecoms/cellphone provider for advice or check their website for how to deal with nuisance calls.

      Can't help you with the other question because I don't know what you are referring to by 'hacking my every move'?

    • profile image

      Helen Y Williams 

      17 months ago

      I keep getting phone calls from a area I never been in, also hacking my every move how can I correct this.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      18 months ago from Wales, UK

      Do you wake at the same time every day, Azam?

    • profile image

      Azam 

      18 months ago

      It is years I notice some one or some groups are watching me. I even think they ate using motion detector because anytime I open my eyes in my bedroom or even in middle of night if I get up my neighbors do something to make sure I know they are watching.

      When I was in relationship 8 years ago I told police and they did not do anything, last year I recorded evidence to show police it is not my imagination they do some specific move in specific situations and asked police to investigate but nothing.

      Every morning I open my eyes my neighbor open and close his door and then garbage truck start working. It is a small sample of how I know they are watching inside my apartment. What should I do and stop bullies?

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      18 months ago from Wales, UK

      So he's not your friend at all? It's possible to remotely install an app. Reset your phone, and drop all contact with him.

    • profile image

      Bentleyonthego 

      18 months ago

      A while ago i found spy ware (keylogger) on my computer. I thought things ended then, it was like four years ago, and i no longer had the device. Plus had several replacement handsets since then, and this one i havent really let out of my site (except when i am home alone and shower).

      The other day my friend repeated something I said several weeks before when i was alone in my room talking to myself (its how I do things when I am working on something and alone). He said i told him over the phone but we had no phone conversations that week or any at all till we finally got together a few month or two later. He refuses to talk about it, I checked my phone bill no calls to him occured (except two calls the same night first one i didnt answer, it was late and we werent talking at the time, he called an hour or so later, this one i did answer, he said "hi how are you?" he sounded tired, and then i assumed he passed out, the call lasted about a min.

      After the insident of him repeating what I said, I called verizon, they said that the calls in question, they werent from his number in there system, but my number, with a +1911 country code instead.

      It confuses the hell out of me, cause he always calls me a stalker. Also when it comes to my devices after the incident years earlier I think I keep a pretty close watch on them.

      Its overall weird cause I am not paranoid that someone is watching or listening to me. Yet now I have this instance and have no idea why it could have occured.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      18 months ago from Wales, UK

      Great news, WMS! Glad it helped.

    • profile image

      Why MeStalked 

      18 months ago

      Bev G your advice has changed my life. I brought a speaker that i lay directly on my bathroom floor (which is across from my bedroom). While looking for irrating songs i found Annoying noise compilations on Youtube . These things are 10 and 12 hours long, i choose between, cat screeching(my favorite), air raid sirens, high pitch sound that hurt your ears, and people and baby crying for 10 to 12 hours. When i started playing the gunshots compilations he started back masturbating multiple times a day, immediately after i turned it off. So i play the different gunshots all the time now and so far, I've had peace and quiet. For the first time in almost 2 yrs i can sleep with my tv off and when i shut the door to the bathroom i barely hear the speaker which i leave on halfway when im home. When i leave i move the speaker to my bedroom and turn it all the way up and play this high pitch ear bleeding noise that i hope he is not too old to hear, the sound is unbearable, i turn it on and run. Thx Bev your advice was empowering. Still looking for a legal way to deal with this pervert. What he is doing should be illegal.

    • profile image

      Why MeStalked 

      19 months ago

      Thanks Bev G. I really appreciate you writing the article because the first response to situations like mines is the victim is hearing things or imaging being surveillance or paranoid. Its hard to believe a neighbor would do this, or anyone, and its even harder to prove or get help. I thought his friend following me to the groceries store, etc was bad, but with surveillance cameras witnesses and him violating the tpo immediately i was able to get a 1yr protection order (just on my word)because he was doing the exact same actions as Trudy516 nieghbor and it helped that he had a criminal record, that the judge mentioned in court. This guy downstairs does nothing in public, it does not infuriate him like it did his friend when i stopped speaking and pretending like they dont exist.

      Furthr, All the listening jammering devices i have found online i would hear the noise too when im home. All i have is small Bluetooth speakers, but i will invest in some large speakers to place on the floor with an irrating rap/heavy metal song and see what happens. Thanks for the suggestion and thanks for writing the article again.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      19 months ago from Wales, UK

      I still think you should ascertain that there is such a device.

      The song thing was an idea. Of course you can't have it going all the time, but as often as you can bear it. It probably doesn't have to be loud as long as the speaker is facing the floor. You could just do it when he's 'at it'. Something really stupid that kinds of makes fun of him. I can't think of anything, but I'm sure you could find one.

    • profile image

      Why MeStalked 

      19 months ago

      I have not checked for bugging devices. This whole situation is bizarre to me, im just coming to the realization this year through searching the internet for similar problems, about listening devices and how easy they are to buy. The problems i am having fit that scenario.

      I usually turn my tv up really loud when i leave but I will switch to an irrating song on repeat like you suggest. But i have found that not responding to him helps. From what im experiencing if he cant tell if he is being heard he doesn't do it as much. When i was responding it was multiple times a day. Now its only 2 or 3 times a week its loud enough to still be heard thru the tv or he does it when im browsing for something on youtube or netflix to watch. I hope he is giving up.

      Through online research, i have read there are devices that make listening devices useless, like white noise machines. But like you said about the irrating song, how do i keep from hearing it when im home. I like quiet and reading a book, which i can no longer do in my bedroom because of him. My perfect solution would be a device that makes the listening device hear an irrating noise and i hear nothing.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      19 months ago from Wales, UK

      Have you checked for bugging devices, WMS? I wonder if he coughs to disguise the sound of the device being switched on? I expect he uses a microphone and has a speaker taped to the ceiling or something.

      Make sure he sees you wearing headphones. Keep them around your neck and make sure they are great big hard-to-miss ones, thus he may just give up.

      Also, every time you leave the apartment play the most irritating song you know. A really awful, but catchy one. With the speaker face-down on the floor. And, when you're at home and he does his thing, play it. Loudly. You can put your headphones on :D

    • profile image

      Why MeStalked 

      19 months ago

      Bev G thanks for the reply and the article. I have been searching the internet for almost 2 years for some help and similar situations. I have went to management of the apartments and the apartments are not thin enough to be able to hear upstairs neighbors. You can only hear your upstairs neighbor walking. I have also asked my neighbors if they are able to hear thier upstair's neighbors and vice versa, you cannot. I agree with management that the issue is not the apartments because i only hear him cough right before the masturbation. Further, I have never heard his tv, phone, coughing regular, etc. The man Trudy described is similar to mine: 20+ years older, on ssi, lives alone, no family, except he doesnt say a word just looks. I was stupid when i first moved here and introduced myself as his upstairs neighbor and told him to let me know if i make too much noise, just being courteous. A couple weeks after that conversation this issue started. After over a year and almost 2 yrs of this & online researching, i am confident he is using a listening device. I have no idea what he is doing to amplify his masturbation where i can hear it in my apartment, i know its intentional because I do not hear anything else from his apartment and he is louder than the regular sounds and noises from my next door neighbors. Further, it used to happen consistently minutes after i walked in my bedroom and laid down, or walking around in my bedroom until i started leaving the tv on 24 hrs and stopped reacting. I have found over the year that not responding has worked to decrease the frequency. When he does it, I no longer bang on his door and tell him to stop, stomp on the floor or turn on the tv or turn tv up, play music, leave the room, curse so its not multiple times a day anymore ( It was so bad at first, i sleep on my sofa in my living for months). I feel he is the one that should have to move, but i know life is unfair and creeps/perverts like my neighbor seems to know how to exploit the law. Im thinking about buying a white noise device, so i dont have to have my tv on all the time and will seriously consider moving.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      19 months ago from Wales, UK

      I don't think there's anything you can do, Kim. There's no evidence he's doing it to harass you. And he's doing it in the privacy of his home. Could you get the floors soundproofed? Just an extra layer of carpet might do it.

      The fact that you can hear him coughing suggests that the soundproofing is below a reasonable standard, and therefore your own privacy is compromised. Talk to your landlord, or consider moving.

    • profile image

      Kim 

      19 months ago

      Any suggestions on what type of evidence i can present to the police: I have a downstairs neighbor that listens to my activity in my apartment and masturbates. I thought i could solve the problem by leaving my tv on 24 hrs and moving my bed to the other side of my room. That's when i realized how sick and insidious this individual is. Too many times im scrolling searching for a movie to stream and that's when he masterbates. Too many times when im getting out of the shower that when he masturbates. The timing and the rarity of my tv being off, its not coincidence. I have never heard any other sound come from this pervert's apartment expect coughing right before he masturbates, which he stopped the coughing right before because i would leave my bedroom because i knew what was coming next. Any suggestions what evidence i can give the police, i have been dealing with this over a year. I was able to get a stalking restraining order on his friend last year, but this guy is older and sneakier and never does anything in public.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      19 months ago from Wales, UK

      Secure your router. These people are just making use of your free internet. If you are unsure how to do it, contact your ISP. They are obviously having a party with your bandwidth. If you are with Sky or Virgin or Talk Talk or BT or whoever, give them a ring, explain what's happening and they will walk you through adding an extra layer of security. Your stalkers will disappear -poofff!

    • profile image

      AntiStalker 

      19 months ago

      Hi Bev, Thanks for your reply - we are also in the UK. After experimenting with turning off our router, the stalker friends backed closer to our house, trying to get a signal. The following day the main stalker was as usual sitting in his car on his mobile phone. We turned off the router and watched him panic, reverse around our home to try and pick up a signal then drove off. His friend than arrived, parking in his driveway, trying to get a signal. She was back a few days later, parked as close as possible to our house, trying to get a signal. I turned off the router and she fled. The Police have refused to investigate the cyber crime. We are absolutely terrified. What can we do now?

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      20 months ago from Wales, UK

      Appreciated, Little Rock :)

    • Rochelle Frank profile image

      Rochelle Frank 

      20 months ago from California Gold Country

      An intresting (and disturbingly interesting) article. I don't think I am being watched or have any reason to be . I was born a grey rock -- my name even means little rock, and people sometimes accuse me of being unenthusiastic.

      I really appreciate how you give some concrete examples of how to deal with such a situation. This could be lifesaving for someone.

      I would say "Bravo". . . and that is from someone who is outwardly unenthusiastic.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      20 months ago from Wales, UK

      I wish I did, AS, but I'm in the UK so it's different here. You've done all the usual stuff, yes? Clean your phone, make sure you step up security on your router?

      The police sound useless. I hope that someone else sees this and can come up with a useful suggestion.

      There might be something here: http://victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-re...

    • profile image

      AntiStalker 

      20 months ago

      Hi Bev,

      We contacted you a few months ago regarding the obsessive stalking by our neighbours. The situation continues to escalate with elaborate set-ups being acted out every time we venture outside. We are filmed constantly by the neighbours holding up mobiles. After over a year, we believe they are being paid - logics suggest that eventually they would get bored but there is no sign of an end to the stalking. I have had to suspend all professional sites after confirmation of suspicious activity on my work sites, our devices have been hacked, my mobile is tracked and today, my broadband provider confirmed there was another unknown device connected to our private router. The police have been useless despite our evidence. They say all they would bother doing to investigate is conduct a neighbourhood survey on whether we are liked on not. But this is stalking, not a popularity contest. Their suggestion doesn't feel like 21st century policing. We have evidence but no-where to go with it. Do you have any other suggestions? Where can we post the evidence? Thank you.

    • profile image

      Emily 

      20 months ago

      Thank you for your advice. I have gotten a few pictures, but I will continue to get more and check out the licence plates. Maybe then I can show the evidence to the police if it is a recurring trend. I'll also have to ask my neighbours about it.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      20 months ago from Wales, UK

      Have you started taking photos, Emily? Like I already suggested? Maybe that will stop it happening. Make sure to get their license plates. And if anyone asks you why you are doing it, say, 'I'm wondering why you are parked outside my house?' Don't put yourself in danger though. Try to be within the house boundaries.

      Also, have you spoken to your nearest neighbors about it? Perhaps they have noticed too?

    • profile image

      Emily 

      20 months ago

      I'll try to stop worrying about the cars that I see on my walks home. However, you still haven't given me advice on the random cars that are parked in front of my house. No one else on my street has had different cars park in front of their house and just sit there for a long time. Only I seem to experience problems like this on my street. I have even had some business trucks, such as one that does house repairs, just sit in front of my house for about 30-40 minutes before driving away. Out of all the places to park, these cars choose in front of my house. Doesn't that seem a lot like spying? It is really hard to ignore something as suspicious as that.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      20 months ago from Wales, UK

      Emily, it's highly likely that is just normal traffic. I myself was sitting in my car an odd place for 30 mins yesterday, waiting for my son. Maybe she was resting, or on her phone. Maybe she was waiting for an important call?

      How would someone know you would be walking past at that time? The thing is, now you are looking out for such behavior, you will definitely see it. I doubt very much if it's centered on you. Just relax about all this.

    • profile image

      Emily 

      20 months ago

      I haven't recorded license plates yet or the exact times that I saw them, but it usually happens after school or in the afternoon. I'll keep track of them and take pictures, and see if there are any more patterns. Although, it will be hard because it seems like many different people are doing this, most that I don't know.

      Also, I know that most of these scenarios probably aren't just normal traffic, because it happens in the most peculiar of places. For example, today I walked past a church, just like I do everyday, and someone was sitting in their car in the parking lot. Even though the church was closed and no one else was in the parking lot, she was there. She could have been waiting to pick someone up, but there is nothing nearby other than an abandoned elementary school, one very busy road and another highway and smaller streets with practically no traffic. It's hard to think of any other reason why someone would be there, along with many other incidents that I have had happen to me. I will continue to investigate this.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      20 months ago from Wales, UK

      Hey JD, sorry that you are going through this. It must be horrible for you. Have you anyone you can talk to about this?

      Practical suggestions are: to put up posters or pictures on all the walls. To try and obtain some evidence (turn your phone to voice record whenever you are near that person), get hold of the shower photo - that will be enough evidence to involve the police. I know it's embarrassing, but if it stops the harassment, then it's worth it.

      Hope you resolve this dreadful situation soon.

    • profile image

      John Doe 

      20 months ago

      I have been stalked and harass at my university, which has been going on for a couple of months now. Apparently their is a hole some where outside my room were everyone can come and look inside my room. I started to realize that I was being watch when I heard people outside my room make comments on the actions I do. I have reported this to the head of housing and the head Ra, but nothing is being done. I overheard my stalker and the head of housing talking him watching me everyday, and he admitted that he was stalking me to her. She said that she promises not to tell anyone about this because of his grades. I also heard her say to a Ra that we cant afford loses him. Now things are getting worse he has a nude photo of me in the shower. Finally i'm on vacation right now and he watches me from outside my house. I'm very scared right now and have no clue who to turn too.Everyone in the dorms knows this is happening to me but no ones standing up for me. I don't think I can call the police cause I have no evidence for anything. Because of my stalker I cant even show my face in school without being laugh at. Sorry if I didn't give enough information,this is my first time posting this kind of stuff.

    • profile image

      Natalie cody 

      20 months ago

      I have been terrorized in my own home for the last 6 months. They have gas lighted me. It started with them talking outside windows. Then went to beating on windows and doors. If I left or went to sleep they would come into my home and move things where I wouldn't find them for a few days. Like my keys.

    • profile image

      Debra 

      20 months ago

      These are people who live I. My complex. Recently a neighbor who drives a white car and smokes constantly. There is another one who lives in a town home right next to me. Honestly I believe they are on my side. It just invasive I really wish they would mind their on business. The lady that smokes constantly blows her car horn she always seem nosey. I am single eventually I will meet a friend but for 2 years I have not dated. I am interested in meeting someone nice and I will.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      20 months ago from Wales, UK

      Emily, do you record license plates, keep a log of times, the drivers? Are you taking photos of the vehicles? Unless you record these incidents there's no point going to the police--it's a too vague. Collect hard evidence, see if there are any obvious patterns.

      I am wondering if this could be just normal traffic. Where I live in a small UK village, there are a couple of small stores, a school, and a community center nearby, so cars arriving and pulling away is a normal occurrence at certain times of the day.

    • profile image

      Emily 

      20 months ago

      Recently, I have been stalked by different people, some of which I know, and others that I don't know. If I am walking home from school, there will be a car parked on the road and it will only drive away once I have walked past. It is not like they are waiting for someone, because they will only drive away once I walk past. I usually come across different stalkers in their cars about 3 times per day! Sometimes, a car will even be parked in front of my house and will wait there until I show up or until I peer through the window. It is as if everyone is trying to keep tabs of where I am as much as possible! Is this worthy enough of getting a private detective or phoning the police? I don't do anything to upset anyone, and I am a quiet, polite person. I don't see any reason as to why they do this, so if anyone has any advice, please comment! Also, Bev G, can you help me with this mystery?

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      21 months ago from Wales, UK

      Karen, if it is a physical device, you can find it and remove it. If you have proof that someone is stalking you, take it to the police.

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      22 months ago from Wales, UK

      Hi Cindrella, my advice would be to live your life and pay them no heed. Don't let them change your actions or behavior. Remember that all negativity comes from the other person and, in the long term, they only damage themselves. Read 'The Four Agreements'.

    • profile image

      Cindrella 

      22 months ago

      I worked for a company where male colleagues frequently speaks indecent(sex related) stuffs. I was the only lady and it was strange for me. After sometime one colleague continued talking indecently even after my objections. Once I understood the urgency to escalate, I did escalated to manager. But it was futile. I left the company and joined another one. There too same kind of activities continued and again I left. After analyzing all the events, understood that both had strong link. Now in neighborhood, many ladies speaks very sensitive topics and trying to get negative stuffs from me. Phone calls to understand my financial situation. Identifying the spy people is extremely difficult and stressful. They speak to hurt in a unidentified way, but after a while I can understand that the conversation was very unusual. It stresses me a lot and can you advice me how to have a peaceful mind to live the daily life in a peaceful way.

    • profile image

      Paul 

      22 months ago

      Being continuosly bugged and followed, gang stalked is the term, all manner of harrassment, what these people can do is criminal alone, utility companies, apple, doctors, you name it, phone must be bugged, as whenever i make a call, when i call back, they say certain key words or things relative to my private life, must be masonic, no doubt

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      22 months ago from Wales, UK

      Good luck, BRDEN, I wish you all the best and hope with all my heart you get the help you need. x

    • profile image

      BRDEN82 

      22 months ago

      Thank you. I'm am trying a few numbers to find an advocate in NYC to help. If that doesn't work, going to have to keep going to the police by myself. Which is unfortunate here, as I feel they don't listen to you.

      Also I'm not certain that I am safe at all. One of the other reasons I left the apartment is because they were tampering with the locks whenever I went in to take my shower before work at night, and also when I came in in the morning from work, the following would intensify beginning with the super in the lobby of the building.

      I think if I went back and tried to stay at that apartment, I would not be safe at all.

      Thanks again for your help.

      BRDEN82

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      22 months ago from Wales, UK

      BRDEN, I'm in the UK so I don't think I could do much. I wouldn't be able to publish it here - audio files aren't supported. Keep recording, keep reporting it. It doesn't seem that they are trying to physically hurt you so keep fighting. No one deserves to be treated like this.

    • profile image

      BRDEN82 

      22 months ago

      Bev,

      Thanks for your reply. I would be happy to forward you one of the audio files. I know exactly how this sounds. Generally speaking I would have the same reaction you do. One of the people whose been doing this lives right across the hall from the apartment I left. But it's weird because as I mentioned, the following is not just in the apartment, but to everywhere, to every single hostel or shelter I've stayed at. And the question for me is how is that even done?!

      Trust me, I know this sounds very strange. If I didn't recognize her voice so well, along with constantly re-listening to the recordings, I would think the same as you.

      BRDEN82

    • theraggededge profile imageAUTHOR

      Bev G 

      22 months ago from Wales, UK

      I'm not really sure how to help you, BRDEN. I think you are already doing the right thing by recording what you hear. Have you managed to get close to the source of the voices? For instance, one particular wall, your phone or other device? Keep doing it and maybe consider a private detective?

      The thing is, when people started leaving comments like these, I really thought most of them had mental health issues, however, I'm getting so many of them (and you wouldn't believe how many don't get approved at all) that I'm beginning to think there is more to this 'phenomena'. Please feel free to update us on how it goes for you. Take care x

    • profile image

      BRDEN82 

      22 months ago

      Updating my post below... while reading over it this morning, I realize how awfully crazy and schizo it sounds. The only problem is I am in my 50s and I have never had anything where I hear random voices. I've certainly had my fair amount of stress, but never hearing voices.

      I wish I could post the audio files of my recordings. The problem with the police is they are not very tech savvy and have no idea how these location tracking apps work. I don't either. And so the cops I've spoken to literally play devils advocate and come up with every excuse imaginable of what the recordings could be. Like right now I am in a hostel, and I am hearing this same woman's voice from my apt building (especially while I am in the shower). (Yes I've recorded that to.)

      The cop says to me, that could be one of the other guest staying at the hostel. I told them it's not. I've lived across the hall from this woman for many years, and its her and her daughters, not anybody else! I just feel they come up with every reason not to help you. In my case I fear something could go wrong by the time I get some help.

      If I couldn't hear anything from the recordings and haven't had this woman following me all over the place, to every single hostel I've stayed at, I would have to consider that I have a problem, but that's not the case.

      Also the other familiar thing to Chika's story, is beside the fact that the super (who works for the Landlord) started this, but there was a ton of banging on the walls, particularly after I came in from work -- all from the same woman and her daughters and the super and his friends.

      Thanks for any help or advice you could give.

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