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What Judges Need to Know About Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Custody Cases

what-judges-need-to-know-about-narcissistic-personality-disorder-in-custody-cases

The Problem

One would think that those highly experienced in law (attorneys and judges) would have what it takes to easily recognize deception, or at least know how to ensure that a person is examined thoroughly enough to make reasonably sure that they are telling the truth. But those in law are just as vulnerable to the highly skilled narcissist as the average person is. As a clinical counselor in the field for over thirty years, this author has had his fair share of run-ins with individuals who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and has been duped by them several times.

NPD individuals are especially pernicious in child custody cases. And there are a large number of children caught in the inevitable, torturous, and abusive trap that NPD parents place their kids in when the NPD parent continues to harass their ex via custody issues. The general public has little knowledge and insight in general about NPD, and those who sit on the bench likely have only a bit more than the public. Though virtually all judges have dealt with NPD’s, many judges may not know the difficult person before their bench in custody court is an NPD, and most judges do not understand the disorder well enough to make effective interventions to curtail the abuses that the NPD perpetrates on everyone in their life, including those involved in the court.

Because NPD’s are naturally talented imposters, charmers, and deceivers, many judges get duped on a routine basis by NPD parents, who are simply using the court and the judge to continue to humiliate,exert control, and abuse their ex, and force their ex to react to them in some way. Narcissists live to manipulate and control others emotions, self-esteem, and behaviors. Many will describe the 'high' they get from manipulating others successfully, and if they get the judge to believe them, they will begin to brag that the judge is their ' personal friend'.

All attorneys, and especially judges, need to first recognize, understand, and then learn effective means to deal with the mental health disorder classification of ‘personality disorders’, and in particular, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, as it is often completely missed by many professionals. NPD is often overshadowed and missed by judges and lawyers due to the more obvious personality disorders such as Anti-Social Personality disorder, which is ubiquitous to the criminal populations.

what-judges-need-to-know-about-narcissistic-personality-disorder-in-custody-cases

Why They Get Away With It

NPD’s get away with what they get away with because they are so very talented at presenting themselves as innocent victims of their ex, their boss, their parents, etc. etc. They have an uncanny talent to manipulate situations and people and to twist the obvious facts fit their confabulated premise. They can eat your lunch when you turn around and when you turn back, convince you that you ate it! This author has witnessed many conscience-less narcissists in family court deftly ‘con’ lawyers, child protection workers, counselors, and judges, right in the courtroom.

Part of the problem is that in the context of family court or custody court, a judge may not be thinking in terms of a parent as being so cold, calculating, and valueless as to be using their children as a means to harm their ex, or if the judge get a hint of such tactics, continues to believe that these often extremely harmful and emotionally abusive parents still have a right to continue to have ‘a relationship’ with their child; freeing the NPD parent to continue to perpetrate their abuse on the child and the child’s healthier parent.

NPD’s are so grandiose that they will try to use their deceptive, manipulative tactics with virtually everyone and anyone, even the court. They have a special talent to ‘size up’ situations and people involved to very quickly devise a plan to get their way. Judges, that’s why you will see the shocked look on the other parent’s face, and their weeping when you hand the kids back to the narcissist; that parent knows you have been conned and they have yet again been abused by the narcissist, with your stamp of approval.

Recognition

The NPD parent coming to court repeatedly and contentiously over child custody can be recognized by several other characteristics:

The NPD will bring a plethora of legal actions that barely make sense or are fully nonsense. They will often burn through attorneys. They will have a history of multiple PFA’s against them. If they are male (and most are), they may have multiple custody issues with multiple women. They will have police complaints for harassment of the ex, the ex’s new partner, the ex’s family members, and often complaints from the children’s school about the NPD parent harassing the school in some way. They may also seek to interfere with their ex’s employment, have vitriolic spewings on social media about their ex, may literally stalk their ex, harass them via phone and text, and have made at least one if not multiple reports to child protection about their ex that turn out unfounded. In their legal complaints, they make ‘mountains out of molehills’, and may press the court to ‘legislate relationship’ between themselves and their children.

The place for a judge to take keen interest is the space between how the NPD presents themselves; the things they claim, and their genuine behaviors. There is often a dramatic and clear mismatch. They will ignore and not even see a child for months or years, and then bring a harassing case to gain time with the child. They will promise the world to the child and consistently let them down, they will demand half custody and then leave the child during their turn with their grandparent and go to the bar. They will manipulate their ex to give them more time with the child, will be late to arrive (if at all) to pick up the child, and very often be late returning the child. They will have non-relatives pick up the child or deliver them back to the other parent. They also often discipline with extraordinary harshness, and say that they have to do this because the other parent is too lax.

They are often very cognizant of the legal rules of custody, and will re-enter a child’s life at the very last moment legally possible so that they can maintain their harassment. NPD parents will have a constant and well-rehearsed litany of complaints about their ex, but will usually never admit to any fault of their own, even having plausible explanations of why they had no contact with the child for so long. If fact checked, these excuses are seen for what they are: very thin to totally false. In general, there will be a clear and persistent pattern of the NPD parent having a ready excuse or someone to blame for everything. They will, in public, appear to be the perfect parent, but in private, be making the child's life a living hell. (Think Mommy Dearest).

The NPD ‘ace in the hole’ is making the accusation of ‘parental alienation’ towards their ex. All lawyers and judges need to know that there is no such diagnosis in the Diagnostic Statistics Manual, the reference for diagnosis of mental health and behavioral health that professionals in the mental health field use. This is not to say that alienation dynamic is not real; on the contrary, it is fairly well accepted in the field that those who are in close relationship with an NPD can and do develop mental health disorders, including adjustment disorder, depression, anxiety, and especially, post-traumatic stress disorder. The latter can often be seen to be sourced in the behaviors and physical, emotional, spiritual, and sometimes sexual abuses that the NPD has perpetrated against the ex and the child.

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Damages to the Child

In human development, the child-parent bond can be extremely strong. If a healthy relationship and bond has developed, there is not much that will keep a child from their parent. Not even one parent trying to ‘brainwash’ a child against the other parent is very credible at all as a possibility involving a child declining to have contact with a parent. Some in the field consistently underestimate children's ego strength and feel that they are always simply clay in the hands of the NPD parent. A child's public behaviors may not reflect their private thoughts, understandings, and genuine loyalties. The truth is that NPD parents will often complain about ‘parental alienation’ coming from the other parent, and is the one who has done the most to alienate the child from themselves, not the other parent. So, when a child is refusing to have contact with the NPD parent, and the other parent is taken to court to blame for this, it is a true ‘red herring’. A close look at the child’s complaints will reveal the truth.

Placing a child on the witness stand (in front of the NPD parent, of course), plays right into the hands of the delighted NPD. Most people not versed in this disorder have no clue of how clever, powerful, and abusive an NPD parent is, and how absolutely terrified the child is and how totally under the NPD's control they are. All the NPD has to do is look at the child, and the child will 'fold' under any questions, agreeing with the NPD's version of things.

Essentially, in comparison to the power of the NPD parent, the child has no confidence at all that the court has their (the child’s) interest or safety at heart, or that the court even remotely has the ability to protect them from the NPD. In truth, to the child (and the ex), the NPD has the power of God. Really.

The level of psychological abuse, manipulation, true brainwashing, terrorizing, demoralizing, self-esteem destroying that an NPD parent does to their child is hard to wrap your head around. NPD’s seem to be born with the skills of the best torturer imaginable. There is no polite way to put it: when a court insists that a resisting child have contact with the NPD, the court is participating in child abuse. Kids are not property to be divided, and they have brains. If a child is refusing to have contact with a parent, look very closely at that parent.

what-judges-need-to-know-about-narcissistic-personality-disorder-in-custody-cases

What Judges Could Be Doing

Once ‘caught on to’, NPD’s, given enough rope, tend to hang themselves with their own errors. They make these errors under the pressure of being seen for what they are: pathological liars and egotists who really do not care at all about the child, only caring about ‘winning’, including fooling the judge. Their arrogance, emotional liability, grandiosity, contempt for others, absurdity, and perjury will be readily apparent.

The court can order both parents into counseling towards the goal of effective co-parenting. Once a custody order is made, the court can monitor the compliance of both parents. This is where the rubber hits the road, and where the NPD parent will begin to mess up, big time. They just cannot comply with any authority other than their own self-inflated opinions and will.

In most cases, if they comply at all with the counseling (many do not even make it to one session), it only takes a short time before they will discredit the counselor, petition the court for some other counselor, and just stop showing up. What they really want is a counselor that cannot ‘see through them’ and find one that they can manipulate for their own purposes, meaning supporting their position that their ex is persecuting them. Judges also could order both parents to go through a psychological evaluation. If the judge does this, they should insist that a special psychological test, called an ‘MMPI’ be done on both parents. This highly valid and reliable test will pick up the truth about NPD in an individual if it is present. Once a judge understands the mental health disorder present and functional in the custody issues, they can make far wiser decisions regarding custody for the child's best interest.

It is my understanding that under some circumstances, a judge can speak with children in chambers and out of the line of sight from the parent(s). The judge should consider doing this, and if the judge is a parent themselves, and approach the kids that way, the judge will get a fine understanding of just why the child does not want contact with the NPD parent. Or, a judge could request a 'course of treatment' statement from the child's counselor to clarify why the child does not want contact with the NPD parent. It is never advisable to call the counselor into court to testify, as this compromises the therapeutic alliance between the child and their counselor in ongoing treatment.

Those in the legal system will do well to learn more about NPD parents in custody situations, as not only are the child and non-NPD parent harmed, but dockets get clogged with cases by NPD’s that are frivolous, time consuming, and costly.

Comments

Educated on March 22, 2020:

What are your credentials? Sick of seeing sickos posing as experts?

Bharati frm state Maharashtra . pune . on January 01, 2020:

Dear sir my X hub is NPD my grown up children and my X father in law is suffering a lot lot due to him he is an advocate by profession

How can i help these vulnerables?

Kelly Ann Christensen from Overland Park, Johnson County, Kansas on December 23, 2019:

Based on my reading the western view is about 75/25 regarding men and women, respectively. However, the statistics outside the United States, such as Christine Louie de Canonville of the Roadshow for Therapists and The Three Faces of Evil, states that statistics are actually about 50/50 between men and women.

I think these people are definitely manipulative and deceitful, but it also appears to be a cult-like organized effort often times as well. I have been disgusted over the years that every single time One Mom's Battle tried to create a list of attorneys who understand NPD, there is an embarrassingly small list, then the page gets hacked. I have actually been intending to attempt to address this issue with the bar association, because there really should be informed, effective representation available by at least a few attorneys in every state.

The other issue on this front seems to be police corruption coupled with avoidance of any real effective solutions and enforcement. We have a huge problem on our hands in this arena, and it is my prayer that some of the fine legal minds of this country will rise up to begin effectively addressing it for the victims.

Robert on December 22, 2019:

"If they are male (and most are), they may have multiple custody issues with multiple women."

BS! Since when did fathers have multiple custody issues with multiple women? This author clearly didn't proofread and delete their biases. More BS written with a bias against men in general.

Kyza on November 23, 2019:

My partner and I are trying to save my stepdaught aged 5 from her narcisstic mother who is phyically ,emotionally amd pschologically abusing her

But the courts ,police and child welfare believe the abusive mother and she has threatened the child so much that she has completely shut down and is to afraid to disclose anything her mother does to her

I could write pages about what this beautiful little girl suffers at her evil mothers hands

Its so frustrating all we want to do is save this child and give her a wonderful childhood but the court keep giviing the narcisstic other primary custody

It is heartbreaking to have to give the child back after visitation knowing she is going to be questioned and threatened etc

Its like police child welfare and the courts support the narcisstic parents

What can we do

PLEASE HELP

Ej on October 30, 2019:

This article is spot on and the judges are too stupid and the child suffers from the horrible mental abuse. It is never in the best interest of the child

John Wuethrich on September 25, 2019:

"They are male " bs some parts of 2nd and most of 3rd wave feminism is highly tainted with traits of npd. It's also widely broadcast. A lot of behaviors that will get a man labeled that are "empowerment" when u forget that u become the snake eating its ta.. In claiming the majority r men. I'd be my last cent both my parents are aspd or nod. My mom often abuses through my dad. Aka sets up situations to triangular and or brow beats him till he takes part in every other of her cherades but denies any of them ever happened. Even if he wasn't there. He's got his own sick games and they also share quite a few. Most fall under gaslight ING or it's more complex forms like if u need me to know the sky is blue for the next point I'll waste 20min in circles claiming its plad. Good job to your web master BTW. The anner add literaly floats over the comment box and comes back even if u hit x. Blind typing is fun.

More recently the game is "I've done nothing to hurt u ever. While they still have and continue to destroy almost everything I've ever earned, been given or acquired. I say alright, I'm coming to empty ur house. I'm just gonna hold onto your things for 2 years claiming that in no way hurts u and occasionally mention I gave them away. "cops will be called if you show up" please stop hurting me then "I'm not doing anything to you. To which I respond, I just described same shoe on other foot and it's a threat of harm worth of police done to u... And now uve wasted 10min not discussing how I get my things back and cleaned from ur mold issue. Silence... Click... Blocked number for days till they call me and then ask "what do you want" like I called them. The overarch is try to inspire behavior or threats that they can use to bring police action... U try empty apt with moldy car for 11 mo and 30 years of your possessions held in state of decay. When our cat (childhood friend to me) died I magaed to spread it to apt.. They denied it, apt manager was sleezy and it wasn't a good time for 8 months then I end up back at their house bleeding and feeling like death.. 2mo in it was confirmed by pro mold guy. They gaslit 2 on one for 9 months. My mom is an np. They rigged a mental hold. Idk if doc was friend of a friend or empathetic burn out. Despite having extermination records from apt and pics of the mold found, mold pro email for their house... The psychologist decides he won't look at them. Sir I have hard evidence (described above) these are not delusions. There was also a derm who thought I had fungle scalp condition and an urgent care I was blowing black from my sinuses. He ignores all that and responds to I can show u I just need my phone... With "patients arnt allowed phones on the ward. I think u are sick and taking it out on your elderly parents. Paranoid skitzo with delusions of bugs and mold". Further insult to injury was not a mark on me.. I had been at a hotel and the first week symptoms/pinprick wounds and bleeding from eye corners... Gone. So when I got out of psych ward... 4hrs later I get txts of their 9month late gutted basement... Wanna talk vindictive? Socieopathic, npd to a T with the I capped instead of dotted... Then underlined and repeated (I I me me how dare u be right about our house). Worse than that, 7 years before I told them I was pretty sure their basement had a huge problem. I lived there 6mo between 2 cities(while moving) the mold guy said the problem was 16 years old (original source being wrong carpet pad when they finished basement... I was in 8th grade) this is the most devistwtint crap I couldn't imagine. Nor can most others. People prefer to belive it has to be lies because "parents wouldn't do that".. Well bub maybe not yours

ANONYMOUS on September 23, 2019:

Interesting truthful factual article, nice work indeed!

I am a man and 'mother' of my daughter is the NPD/Psychopath, and my daughter lives with her, a 2yr old as well as her other 3 children.

Im disappointed in myself everyday for crossing paths with her and getting so 'unauthentically' close and overlooking 'red flags' but the interesting thing is...

Because she is a 'female', she is less detectable as a psychopathic NPD, and as you said, quite easily comes accross as an 'ordinary human', and mother.

Was with her for 3 years completely sleep walking through the fraudulent connection, being 'gaslit' and 'manipulated' and many of the other signature games of the 'covert NPD'.

While i was in the connection, i wasnt my true authentic self, so in reality she never experienced 'Me', and only since leaving the connection with her, my eyes are wide and true about 'life on earth', and my authentic self seems to have been born out from the experience itself, with 'pain' and all accompanying the process.

One thing that is really perculiar about it is that when the NPD makes braisen allegations about how you were the one who 'played' them psychologically etc, but their actions during their daily life after such 'horrific allegations' reflect 'no effect' whatsoever on their behaviour and they get on as normal, just fine, happy go lucky, party time as normal, new relationship 'next week' (And everybody around the NPD seems to miss this behaviour totally), 'or so it appears'

No paranoia, No anxiety, No solitude, No guilt, shame, emotional discomfort 'whatsoever'.... (Just a normal psychopathic day on planet earth living the good life with the 'pack of flying monkeys'...

While all the things just mentioned, 'solitude, retreat' etc are being experienced by you... That alone fascinates me about how human perception and cognition on this earth...

And by the way, you mentioned the DSM, and NPD being not widely known or discussed in the field of "mental health"?

PSYCHIATRY AND MENTAL HEALTH is a Psychopathic NPD profession, rife with gaslighting, manipulation, torture and 'dehumanization' exactly like what has been described above...

"THIS MAY BE WHY NPD ISNT TALKED ABOUT WITHIN THIS FIELD BECAUSE THE FIELD IS THAT"

Great article anyway and maximum love, strength and blessings to all people on earth who have encountered a 'covert psychopathic NPD' (Male or Female)

Love and Peace to everyone....

Mud on September 03, 2019:

Family Law - Anything you say can and will be used to make you out to be a narcissist. Usually coerced by a narcissist assisted her harem of white knights and flying monkeys. Enjoy the show.

William E Krill Jr (author) from Hollidaysburg, PA on August 28, 2019:

Joyce Martin: usually, a psychologist can administer it.

Joyce Marin on August 28, 2019:

How do you take the MMPI test?

Hiker23 on August 19, 2019:

Going through this now. It’s breaking my heart. Kids are/have been neglected by the NBP mom since birth. My son is seeking custody but has a judge who historically sides with moms. Kids have been in therapy for 9 months, but still will not even speak to their therapist- just stare blankly. What is she doing to them? She has manufactured one child’s learning disability into a “special needs” diagnosis, has used smoke and mirrors to deflect questions from doctors and professionals and has been successful. Is now using the “special needs diagnosis” as her means of getting custody. She has worked with the younger child to ridicule the other and it is insane. Yet my son is scared to death that she’ll win; that the judge will not see through her. She lies (and believes her own lies, so she’s convincing!), blames everyone and everything for her failures, cares only about herself, has disappointed the kids over and over (it’s dads fault, he doesn’t give me any money, I have to work, etc etc etc.) If she was simply a good mom we wouldn’t worry. But she is destructive, manipulative and super NBP. She verbally abuses one child, and has manipulated the other to feel so superior that he’s difficult to control. This article is eye- opening, but highly disturbing. Yet it is extremely difficult for any human, even judges, to comprehend how a mother or father would use their children so blatantly to realize their personal goals. However, since judges make these life changing decisions, they should consider it their duty to be acutely aware of such mental disorders. These disorders are easily the source of the marital problems and will affect the children in the custody decisions.

Disturbing.

scott on May 30, 2019:

You obviously have no idea what causes parental alienation. And yes, it is very real. Contrary to your "article" it is usually the NPD or BPD parent that does the alienating.

Laura Smith on May 28, 2019:

I am experiencing this right now. We went through a $20k parenting evaluation, which included psych testing. My ex was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. Unfortunately, it has done nothing for us in court. The courts are a playground for people like him. He constantly uses the children to abuse and control me, and the courts do nothing about it. Most recently I had a judge order joint decision making for work related daycare..even though it only affects his work schedule 2x/month. By doing so, my ex can disagree with whatever daycare I chosose and he essentially doesn't need to pay. The parenting evaluator gave my ex 38% custody, even though he found him to not show empathy or partake in any of the parenting responsibilities. My ex has outsourced his time to an au pair, and the courts don't care. Articles like are important to build awareness, hopefully the courts will catch on.

Louis Garces on May 23, 2019:

This is unrealistic. Family law attorneys don't care about the best interests for anyone but themselves. They deliberately keep the fighting going, never to bring resolution, and they empty the bank accounts of unsatisfied clients. Judges are but former attorneys. They usually side with nasty narcissists, not because they don't recognize them, but they are narcissists too. They don't seem to like seeing honest people, especially fathers, telling the truth. They make it a game of who can prove what, and it usually becomes a matter of convincing, not simple truth. Investigations, counseling, all 'services' cost dearly, and people cannot afford it, making it a game of who can pay more money towards the crooked family law system. I'm not buying your minimizing of the scandal designed by judges and attorneys to exploit people in need of simple resolution. I find your article to be but a misleading advertisement for yet another expensive 'service' that continues the exploitation of innocent people who have disagreements. They are put into the colosseum, the court rooms, made to feel through legal intimidation like they have to fight for the kids in a win or lose all contest, and drained financially. Their expensive lifestyles are paid for, and the folks who turned to them for help will never afford college for their kids after they're done with them. They are not ignorant or stupid, in fact, the judges and attorneys are the bigger abusers. Don't excuse them for hiding behind manipulative parents. If their corruption practices were under control, the courts wouldn't have it.

Life Sucks in Ohio on May 23, 2019:

Sorry for the book and this is only part of the cliff notes.

Relationship of 3 years with a NPD and her NPD grandmother.

The 3 year relationship I had with my baby mom was never truly one between her and I. There were three people in this relationship; me, my ex, and my exs grandmother. Our entire lives from the moment we opened our eyes in the morning revolved around gma and what gma wanted to do. We'd make plans for us but 90% of the time it wouldn't happen b/c gma had plans already that involved my ex being her taxi or paycheck. The GMA basically believed the women should cook/clean while the men are whore monger and go to work/school. She always prevented my ex for bettering herself, even got her to drop out of college.

Since our boys were born I had hoped her decision making process would be "Which of my options best benefits the lives of my two boys" but that was and still isn't the case. The thought process is "Which option will GMA complain less about". That option never involves me, the father.

It's been around 9 months since the mother of my two boys and I have "officially" split. In reality, it's been much longer. In my eyes it was over before our second son came into this world. That's when I finally grew sick and tired of hearing her say "Let's work on our problems together" when she truly meant "I'll pretend to like you again if you just do everything I want you to do".

After I was able to let go of the "idea" of her and our relationship, that's when it got real sour between us. Every complaint towards me branched from when I was no longer under her control. Even still, she claimed she wanted to work things out about every two months. I would agree but I'd wait for her to start the change, which would never happen. About 9 months ago was the last time she tried pulling that stunt.

Since then I've been only able to keep my oldest son with me over night with a reoccurring pattern. 1 Week w/ mother - I get little to no contact with them / / 1 Week w/ me - Threats of calling police or taking him back if she doesn't talk to him everyday // 1-4 weeks w/ mom and I'm unable to get into contact with her due to being blocked b/c she's mad at me(For any number of reasons). Then I'll randomly get a call from her wanting me to watch the boys, acting as if nothing is wrong.

Since we split, last month was the first time she has left our youngest son with me and her not being around. Every time before that she claimed he was too young to be away from his mother, which was never a problem with our oldest son who is basically my twin. While denying my request to keep my son, she's going around telling everyone that I denied him being my son and refuse to keep him with me. Even to the point that her friend was harassing me via text, repeating the lie's that my ex has been feeding to her.

I last had both of my boys stay over for 1 day. The next day her and the boys joined me at a birthday party. We established that I was to call her the next day so I could join her in picking the boys up from daycare. Called once before her classes(NA), once after her classes(NA), and by the third call before normal bedtime I had then been blocked.

I'm terrified to go to court, i wish we could just talk to one another and establish an agreement for when I can have my boys with me. If the responsibility is left up to her and her gma, then I will never have a relationship with my boys. The way they both run to me and cling to me when I'm finally allowed to see them warms my heart and soul but it also pains me in many ways.

I just can't take it anymore, I need to see my kids.. I need to be with them.

Michael Rustad on May 19, 2019:

Yanni, you just described what my daughter and I are going through to a tee:( It is far worse in circumstances and detail but that exact thing is happening and it's truly the most horrifying thing I've ever gone through and I've been through cancer, broken neck/ back and literally death bed... yet this whole thing going on with NPD ex is the worst experiences of my life by far. I'm still fighting with a trial coming up soon but her abuse is getting worse even physically abusing daughter now since she's been getting away with the neglect and emotional abuse for so long with support of the court. It's literally like living in the twilight zone

yanni332 on May 18, 2019:

Went through this with an NPD spouse, before divorce it was a nightmare, our childs behavior would change completely whenever the npd was present. As soon as the npd went back to work, child would return to her normal happy self.. here is an 8yo child dealing with same crap I dealt with when around the npd, and i as a grown adult couldnt handle it.

But the npd was calculating, kept control of all her activities, bookings, appointments, vigorously sabotaging any attempts I made to step near that area.

Long story short , even though the npd hated our child, had zero patience for her, she made sure to maintain the appearance of involvement 'on paper'. Her one phone call to my actually taking her to all her appointments.

Of course later in court, this was used (among other things) to successfully to win custody that I knew she did not want. And sure enough she began dumping our child on me more and more until I had her full time against court orders. This went on for years.

Carlos on May 13, 2019:

Sorry, but most NPDs are women

Mary on May 09, 2019:

This is My past 8 years since actually leaving My Ex for Good and walking away from everything but My Children. I have been to 4 Gal’s in the past 8 years. My ex has not followed any court orders nor any recommendations by GAL’s.... and He gets away with it. I’m not exactly sure why we even have court orders when someone can blatantly and “wide openly” disobey them and get away with it all while making Me out to be crazy.... after giving Me Our child full time. I feel like Alice in wonderland, and I am not a mean or vindictive person. I do not want to be that person, but I feel like not being that person, and following court orders, and being honest and truly caring has done nothing but allow My Ex and The Family Court System continuously psychologically and mentally and emotionally abuse Me and in turn My little Girl who never once deserved any of this, I’m at the point I want beg Mean and lie and make false accusations, but I can’t because it’s just not in Me to be that person.

So I’m continuously abused by family court after leaving My Ex to protect My Daughter and Myself from the abuse. I find myself all the time saying.... “and this is why victims stay.” I have been in the family court system longer than my relationship with My Ex. I’m like “Alice” but this Is by NO means any kind of “wonder” land..... unless of course wonderland means “wondering” why the family court and all involved in the same still see a duck when My Ex looks like a wolf, howls like a wolf, stinks like a wolf, preys like a wolf, and probably even has Rabies while carrying a sign that says “hey I’m a wolf with rabies!”

“Wonderland” doesn’t even do it justice.

Sandy on May 07, 2019:

This article is so accurate in describing my grandsons mother this is on going for 7 years . You would swear this was written about her word for word. But what so many people don't understand is this person can become exyremely dangerous to a point they may kill the child or ex spouse!!!

Our judicial system must be schooled in this type of personality disorder it is dangerous and the children are deystroyed. You would think in this day and age our judges would more educated . The court might as well make room for these children to become part of our prison and or mental system in the future.